C-Section theatre experience

[mamajemma]

Hi everyone, just wondering if this is ok because I feel like it isn't and I'm heartbroken.

I was rushed for an Emergancy csection... I was lay on the operating table with a big sheet in front of me, there was just me and my partner on this side of the sheet nobody else. There was nobody talking to me or telling me what was going on and I was just crying and praying that she was ok.

We heard crying for about 3 seconds so we were looking at eachother saying is that her?! Has she been born?! Then it stopped. They shouted my fiancé to go over. I was lay there hysterical, was my baby even born, was she dead? What's going on? I was left there for about 10 minutes but it seemed like a lifetime.

Then I saw a nurse come to my side of the room and she passed a baby over to another nurse and they were both coo'ing over this baby. I said is that my baby?! She said oh yeah.. do you want her?! WELL OBVIOUSLY!!

Nobody even told me baby was born.. and strangers held her before me. When they finally put her on me I felt nothing, felt like she wasn't even mine.

Has anyone experienced anything similar cos I'm traumatised?!

Not quite the same but I had an EMCS in a country where I don't speak the language. I was in theatre on my own with lots of other people and I couldn't understand a word. DH wasn't allowed in. I had a PPH and was on high dependency after but when I came round and saw DD I absolutely knew she was mine. It wasn't the birth I'd anticipated or wanted but in time I've accepted it. I deliberately didn't make a birthing plan because I just had a feeling it wouldn't be an ideal scenario anyway.

OP, I'm sorry to hear about your experience and I hope you don't think this is too much of a cliche but time certainly helped me. And prepared me for the same thing to happen again 16 months later. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I was in the UK. I've seen on here people have debriefing sessions for traumatic births. I'm not sure if that would have achieved anything. I don't know how far down the line you are but I wish you all the very best.

I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I had a semi planned section (it was decided it was needed the night before)
When I got to the hospital in the morning, my only request was that I had skin to skin straight away with my baby.
I was told this was not possible and I was distraught. I fought the whole day to get a consultant to agree- which they did in the end, 30 mins before the op after a day of distress.
Anyway, this was pointless as they didn’t do it. I like you, was left on my own with no communication. They took my baby away like you and I asked them to bring her to me so many times and I was ignored, no one explained to me what was going on.
I ended up shouting across the theatre for them to bring me my baby. I will never forget that.
There was no emergency, they were just ‘following procedure’

This isn’t to take over with my story, only to say I can identify with yours in a small way. I imagine being an emergency, things for you were very different and even more crucial they communicated with you.

Have you spoken to anyone about it in real life? I spoke to the midwife who visited me at home the next day and she was shocked and it did help me feel as though I had been heard.

I’m not 100% sure what it’s called but you can request to go through your notes with the hospital and review what happened, maybe this would be helpful for you in order to process it?

I am going to do it and I’m also going to make a complaint (there were other things that happened too)

I reached a point of acceptance with what happened and I no longer dwell on it (my baby is now 12 weeks) but I still want to make the complaint as I don’t want it to happen to anyone else. It just shouldn’t happen in this day and age. It’s just basic stuff!!

What happened to you was not ok! You have every right to feel heartbroken.

I hope you can find peace with what happened and maybe that would come from speaking out? I hope you can have your feelings heard. Is there someone you could talk to?

How old is your baby now?

My experience was very similar except I also heard after the cries of my baby that I was losing blood and that they'd found a large fibroid in me. Even now I can feel the fear of not knowing if my daughter was okay or if I would be okay. I wanted my husband to be with my daughter so I felt very alone. I felt traumatised after and whilst I think I'd like another baby, I'm petrified of going through this again. It's so routine for the staff, they don't understand the terror of an emergency c section.

My first yes, an emcs at full dilation after pushing and failed forceps. When he was born he had to be checked by a doctor from Nicu so it must have been about 10 minutes at least before they came and tried to give me a baby. Unfortunately I'd passed out briefly and thought he was a doll. Ended up with postpartum psychosis followed by pnd. No one told me anything and the midwife who had just came on shift didn't even bother introducing herself. I felt completely alone. I'm still angry about it and he's 6 and has a sibling (much better emcs).

I would definitely feedback (complain) how you feel because it sounds unacceptable.

I had similar with my first. I didn't know my baby had been born. Didn't hear her cry or anything. Only knew she had been born when I heard a nurse referring to 'her' (we didn't know we were having a girl). It was very scary.

Dts were born by EMCS, they didn't cry, they were whisked off and we didn't see them for 24 hours. The process was calm though

I’m so sorry about your experience that sounds horrible and traumatic.
I had an emergency c-section and my experience was entirely different. The midwife and anaesthetist both talked to me and my husband throughout - about what was happening and random stuff as well. I can’t remember much but I have pictures that the midwife took of my husband and I with the baby as they sorted me out.
I think you need to debrief with the hospital to hopefully help you get over it and to feedback that this is not acceptable.

Sorry I have highlighted my experience to show it can be different and can be a positive experience. I realised after clicking post it could come across as insensitive but hope it doesn’t