Going back to work after Maternity leave at 6 months

[squashie34]

My little girl is 6 months (a true lockdown baby) and I’m due to go back to work full time as a teacher at the end of March.

Due to lockdowns and covid, she is so clingy to me- so much so I can’t give her to anyone without her having a screaming meltdown and looking at me with those ‘what are you doing to be mummy?’ eyes. She has barely seen anyone except for my parents who are our support bubble and I’m really struggling with how on Earth I get my little girl from only being with me to being able to go to Nursery full time in just 8 weeks. I’ve tried to leave her with my mum but she screamed for 2 hours straight and I had to go back. Nursery will do settling in sessions but when she won’t even go to my family I’ve no idea how I can put her in a room of strangers without scaring her to death.

I have the worst mum guilt and feel like I’m going to traumatise her suddenly not being with her for 5 days a week after being at home in our house every day for 6 months, but I know I need to go back to work for my sanity and for our finances. I’ve found this third lockdown so hard without any baby classes and need a bit of me back. I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Please could anyone give me any tips for separatation anxiety, or even just tell me I’m not going to emotionally traumatise my child 🥺 I’m losing sleep and feel like the worst mum in the world x

I was like you with serious mum guilt about 6 weeks ago. Couldn’t eat or sleep and cried a lot! I go back to work in February (done my KIT days tho) and my little one is 10 months born 2 days into the first lockdown. He has done his settling days at the childminders and surprised me so much by settling a lot more than I thought! The childminder (so the nursery staff will be the same) has loads of little tricks to keep them occupied and how to sooth them. He takes his rabbit with him and also has a seahorse he sleeps with so I have bought an extra one for her house. Does she have anything like that you can take with you? A blanket that smells like you? My childminder recommended that if he was bad. Mum guilt is horrific, but Personally I am starting to come out the other side of it now and it makes you realise that the babes are so adjustable. You will not emotionally traumatise her I promise. And I can tell you know you sound like a bloody good mama as you are so worried. Good luck with your DD. xx

Settling into a new childcare situation is always stressful and always resolves if you stick with it. If you are nearby enough for her to look at you then yes she will scream.

8 weeks is a huge amount of time developmentally for a baby that young - it's about a 3rd of her entire life. Of course she is going to be at a different stage then than she is now.

The nursery staff will be able to cope. your daughter will be safe and cared for. She will be upset for a bit, and then she will be OK. She will go through a stage of playing up a huge fuss every time you leave her. That will shortly change so that she still kicks up a huge fuss as long as she knows you can see her but she just starts enjoying her day as soon as you aren't there. And then suddenly she will stop bothering with the huge fuss and will start demanding to be taken to nursery on Sunday mornings because it is more fun than home.

Every working parent goes through this. It is grim but you will get through. Trust the nursery workers to do their job and don't hover nearby or take her out again rather than letting the process run its course.