First of all, congratulations! Having a new born is one of the toughest experiences that I don’t think people prepare you for!
Newborns LOVE being held and I’m not surprised you haven’t slept much. Remember your tiny baby has just come from your comfy, compact womb and is now in the big wide world, it makes sense they fall asleep in your arms.
Swaddling can definitely help you in these times as the babies startle reflex will definitely wake them up when they throw their arms around.
Could you take it in turns with your partner or family member to hold them while you sleep?
My baby hated being swaddled and I found tucking him in tight to bed helped. Then when he was bigger I got him a sleep bag as I got a bit paranoid about blankets going on his head.
A lot of parents co sleep (please read on how to do this safely - the lullabye trusts website will guide you) your arm around them will make them feel protected but only do this if you feel comfortable. I did this only sometimes when absolutely knackered and longing for sleep. Make sure no covers are near you baby.
It’s a bit controversial but have you tried popping them down in to a sleepyhead or nest of some sort? Again please do your research on this!
I’ll be perfectly honest, I did all the stuff they say not to do, I slept with my baby on me (his tummy to my chest) I slept sitting up with him on a pillow in my arms. I obviously don’t recommend these things but I just want you to know that in sleep deprived states we do what we can.
I hope someone can help you and maybe watch the baby whilst you get some much deserved rest.
It will get easier. Good luck x