Not coping 10wks with new baby

[Deedee2019]

Hi everyone

I just need some reassurance that things wont always be like this.
I'm crying while typing, spent the last few days hiding my tears from DH and DC

We have a 3yr and 10wk, and I cant seem to get it together recently.
Not healed after an awful c section, and still in losds of pain. I just need some respite from it.... it's there when I wake, till I sleep. I just want to be a proper mummy and enjoy this time.
I still look 6 months pregnant with a enormous tender tummy. My 3yo is asking if mummy is still poorly in her tummy today, I broke down. I'm devastated that's how he sees me.

Please someone tell me this will get better?

Oh bless you, you're right in the middle of things. I have no c section experience so can't give detailed advice on that front, but wanted to give you a virtual hand-held until someone expert on that comes along.

Don't be devastated that that's how he sees you - it's not been that long at all, and doesn't mean you're.letting him down in any way - you've obviously just raised a lovely thoughtful kid

And can I suggest you let your DH know how you're feeling, if possible, so that he's able to bolster you a bit and take up the slack as.much as he can?

It WILL get easier! Xx

No csection experience but i do have a 3 year old and a 10 week old! (Plus older ones)

I have had a really shit day today. Baby wont sleep. Toddler is playing up. But i am just telling myself tomorrow is another day!

Does your 3 year old get any nursery hours?

It will get better
Please don’t bottle it - cry when you feel like crying, and speak to DH or HV/GP.
It’s very very hard in the first months, I was very weepy too...

What exactly happened with your CS?
I had an EMCS and needed painkillers for weeks, but it was better around 12wk.
My stomach looked so bad too. I started intermittent fasting and very light exercise at 16wk, and now some months later it looks better.

Thanks everyone, it's not easy talking to anyone who hasn't been there.
Just seems to hit me sometimes, and I feel like crap. And an even crappier mum.
I've forgotten what it feels like to not be in pain. And looking at my body makes me sad....
I miss the old me.

I failed a vbac, baby delivered well, but took 2hrs to put me back together. Uterus wall was tearing during stitching, and I was hemorrhaging.

... nursery starting after xmas

Give yourself a break, c sections are so hard to recover from. I wasn't totally right I don't think until 6 months. Don't pressure yourself to look how you were straight away. Show your DH how you're feeling and ask for more help. It's ok not to be ok especially after a traumatic or difficult birth.

Am I selfish for wanting to be on my own for a while??
....a whole day?

Oh God, that sounds really traumatic.
Insist on better pain management with your GP, and I suspect you didn’t rest enough - rest is crucial even for straightforward CS.

You need to rest more and don’t lift anything except the baby.

You are not a crappy mum; please focus on getting rest and be kind to yourself, you’ve been through so much.

Don’t worry about your tummy now, weight can be lost easily once you are healed.

Ha, ofc I want time away from the baby

Before baby I have always done what I want, when I want.

It was such a shock to lose my previous life, as well as body autonomy (BF on demand, no eating or sleeping when I want to). Believe me there were days I wanted to leave it all behind.
But it gradually gets better Stay positive.

My 3 year old starts nursery just after xmas too op! I am currently trying to toilet train him which is just what i need to be doing on days like today when i can barely put my baby down!