5 month old and lonely

[Diamondlight]

I'm lonely :( I'd love some mummy friends but I don't have any who have babies, my partner works a lot and I don't drive. My day consists of cleaning, cooking looking after little one.

I love my little boy and I love being with him, but I miss adult company.

But here's where it gets tricky, I keep trying to push myself to go to mother and baby groups but I freak out. I have severe anxiety about it and over think things way to much. To the point I even know it's ridiculous, but I can't stop myself from thinking that way.
Do any of you new mothers feel the same?

I get a little anxiety but if you are affected as badly as that I would speak to your GP.

@Diamondlight just want you to know that I can absolutely relate. My son is 2 years old now and admittedly I was diagnosed with PND, anxiety and PTSD after he was born but I still take antidepressants now. I experienced similar feelings- not wanting to go out (I would think something terrible was going to happen if I left my house), feeling lonely and isolated etc and my situation was similar as was not a driver, had nobody close nearby and DH worked long hours. Having a baby is a massive life change for anyone and that is without even considering the inevitable sleep deprivation and hormonal minefield that is the postnatal body.

I would recommend speaking to your GP about how you feel though. A problem shared is a problem halved after all and they may be able to offer you some support to manage your anxiety.

Things get easier, trust me, I'm in a much more positive place now, but don't let it continue without getting some support in place.

Best wishes OP

I found baby groups intimidating but I found the thought of staying at home worse!!

There are always leaders / helpers so I just practiced saying 'hi, I'm Fusion this is DC and it's our first time here' before I left the house.

They are always lovely people (after all they've volunteered to run a baby group!) and will look after you.

Another approach, if you can afford it, could be a very structured class ie swimming or baby massage? That way you don't have to talk to anyone if you don't have to. But if you go for s few weeks, you could build confidence to talk to another mum. Then ask if they go to any other groups and if you could join them. It's always easier if there's 2 of you.

Also, try to think that this is part of being a mum - you have to step up and do scary things now and then for the good of your baby.

I found baby groups hard at first, I instead enrolled in postnatal yoga as it wasn't all about talking. At about 7 months a psyched myself up to go to a baby group and it was ok, didn't look back. I was really lonely, that's normal - no family, just moved continent and didn't drive, looking back I probably had pnd but at the time I just walked the streets with the pram for hours and thought it was normal. I think it was buying a computer and getting internet, (not as common then) and using the precursor to Mumsnet that helped, the local group meant I virtually made mummy friends who I then met up with

Thanks so much ladies for taking the time to reply, I think because I suffered from depression in the past and it don't feel the same as I did then I never considered I could have pnd. I will speak to my GP and see what they say. And maybe your right about the baby yoga or swimming where I don't have to awkwardly talk to someone. I'm going to look it up right now.... my partners off work for 4 days so I think I'm going to ask him to take our little boy swimming with me, maybe if I have done it once with him I will find it easier without him x

Aw Op I relate too. If you're in south east England I'll be your mummy friend for a meet!

@Diamondlight

I had the same problem, hubby works long hours, I have no friends or family near by to pass the time in the day.

One day I managed to get past my anxiety and go to a group and it was good, even if you don't speak to any of the other mums at first your out of the house and I'm sure your LO would love it.

If you contact your health visitor they should be able to tell you about any local groups in your area.