Im 8wk pp and had some baby blues but much better. My DS sleeps well and wakes once at night but I get about 4hrs before he wakes and he goes back down well after feed for another few hours. So I feel I am getting decent sleep. I would often wake after 4hrs before kids for a pee or drink of water so it feels like he is sleeping through or hes sleeping to my natural cycle.
However on occasion this doesn't happen and I wake up knackered or get little to no sleep, which is fully expected with a baby. But I find myself feeling so depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts if this happens. I know tiredness causes grumpyness and before I had DS if I had 1 bad nights sleep I would hardly be grumpy. In fact I have always been a morning person who springs out of bed.
I expect to feel bad when tired but this is insane. I am snappy, unreasonable, cry and feel like running away or doing something much worse. I am so scared now of having a bad night as how it makes me feel and don't understand why I am handling tiredness SO badly? Is this a major imbalance hormone dip?