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Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

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Original poster

Feeling like the worst mummy ever!

17 replies

joanna4318 · 25/02/2017 07:45

Hi everyone,
This is the first time I've posted on here (not entirely sure how it all works but need an opinion that's not my DH- men have such a different perspective!)

Firstly my DD (8wks) has her first cold this week and I feel awful! She's got a runny nose and us finding it difficult to breathe clearly plus she's sneezing and coughing. She's only having small feeds and is sleeping loads- unlike her (though I keep trying to wake her up to feed her). If she's only having small feeds is she not getting the good hind milk that I've been told about?! My DH had the cold originally and now I've got it too- how do we stop hers from getting worse?! Hate hearing her struggle, she's not even really crying, just looks so poorly :( it's worse at night and I struggle to sleep as I'm listening out to check she's still breathing (she seems to choke on the mucus every so often). Before this I would have done anything for her to sleep longer! DH seems to be able to sleep through it all! Doc has given us saline drops before feeds but what else can we do?! (Clearly first timers!) Doc said not alot we can do.

Then to top off my DDs bad week, after a bath I was clipping her nails and clipped the tip of her thumb! She screamed the place down and it bled a bit. When it stopped bleeding we put sudocream on it and a scratch mit on her to stop her sucking it and gave her calpol and she seemed better after an hour or so but I feel AWFUL! Feel like I'm not doing anything right atm.

Sorry for rambling, just thought it would make me feel better to get some other mummies opinions on it all (I know I'm being irrational lol)

Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Rubyslippers7780 · 25/02/2017 07:49

You are doing everything you can! Stop beating yourself up.
you are tired and unwell too. Have you tried vics on a wet cloth on a radiator? Propping up the head end of the cot on books so she is not completely flat?
Other than what you are doing there is not a lot you can do. Lots of little feeds are fine. Stop worrying

Original poster

joanna4318 · 25/02/2017 07:54

Hi,
I've propped up her mattress but haven't tried the cloth on the radiator- I'll try that today thanks!
Just didn't realise what a complete life changer this whole baby thing was! (Stupid I know!) But no one quite prepares you for the emotional roller coaster!
Thanks

OP posts:

beargrass · 25/02/2017 07:56

We experienced the same. Have you tried the Calpol plugins? They're costly (bet they've patented it now and totally cornered the market) but they really are v good. Also Calpol has a nose spray that I found better than the snufflebabe nose drops. And the snufflebabe 'baby vicks'.

I did panic about the reduction in feeding but as lots of people told me - they can't starve themselves, they will take what they need.

At one point mine had a viral infection and slept pretty much for a week, only waking for small amounts of milk and I gave her paracetamol and ibuprofen (can't remember, may have to be over 3 or 6 months for the latter). And she also had a v bad cold plus something else. Both of these warranted a trip to Dr.

Original poster

joanna4318 · 25/02/2017 08:01

Hi,
I haven't tried to calpol bits- I'll see if I can get some today thanks.
I'm sure it's completely normal when babies have a cold but you can't help panicking can you?! (DH is much more laid back!) The joys of being a mum!

OP posts:

BendingSpoons · 25/02/2017 08:02

As long as she is still having wet and dirty nappies she will be feeding enough. She can make up for it when she is better. Keep doing what you are doing, you are 100% focused on her and putting her first, so no need to feel guilty! Also I have done that with the fingernail. I felt awful but it will heal quickly. You are doing great

Dilligufdarling · 25/02/2017 08:05

You sound like you're doing a great job. The fact that you're so bothered itself means you're doing great.

When my DD and Ds had colds and I needed to feed them I'd have them on one boob and then a tissue or cotton wool ball with a couple of drops of albus oil resting on the other side but out of reach. Could be worth a try.

Original poster

joanna4318 · 25/02/2017 08:08

Thanks everyone- makes me feel better to know that other people have all had the same probs! I'll try to olbus oil thing too thanks!

OP posts:

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 25/02/2017 08:08

You sound like you're doing just fine OP. Those Calpol plug ins are pricey but they are fantastic, I have 2 on the go because both the boys and DD are loaded with colds just now.
I know what you mean about the nail clipping, I clipped DDs finger last year by accident and I was distraught, I cried the next day telling nursery staff why she had a nick on her finger. They were so lovely and reassured me that accidents happen and not to beat myself up.

Afreshstartplease · 25/02/2017 08:11

Op these things happen to us all

That said it would never enter my mind to give calpol for accidentally clipping babies finger tip. I know it now says 2 months + on the box but I was under the impression that was only really for immunisations or fever

knaffedoff · 25/02/2017 08:11

Children and babies get colds, you are breastfeeding and that in itself will provide a huge amount of protection and comfort.

Regarding the fingernail, you have learn't what not to do next time! Yes she was upset and hurt, but you responded to her needs and provided comfort.

You feel unwell and are surviving, that's sometimes enough. I hope you all get well soon x

welshweasel · 25/02/2017 08:12

I cut the top of my DS's finger off when he was 5 days old (and he was 5 weeks early so really tiny) then pretty much straight after clonked his head on the bar of the car seat. I almost took him back to hospital to give him back as I clearly was unfit to look after him. We've all been there, don't worry about it. I'd like to say it gets better but it doesn't....soon enough they'll be falling off beds and banging heads on furniture!

It's horrible when they are little and poorly but probably worse for you than them. You're doing a brilliant job.

Afreshstartplease · 25/02/2017 08:13

Calpol plug in is also 3 months +

Original poster

joanna4318 · 25/02/2017 08:14

I always thought my DH would be the first one to do something stupid!lol

When I saw the doc (about the cold) she said to give DD calpol if she was grumpy...and as she was screaming the place down I took that as grumpy! Although for a different reason I supose... Didn't know what else to do to be honest!

OP posts:

Original poster

joanna4318 · 25/02/2017 08:16

Welshweasel your post cracked me up! Needed a laugh thanks! Good to know it only gets worse...

OP posts:

LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 25/02/2017 08:21

Giving Calpol, particularly when they have a cold, is fine as long as they are old enough and you give them the correct dose/ not too often don't worry.
The Calpol plugins, nasal sprays and snuggle babe all have an age on and I think its above 8 weeks. My DD had a horrendous cold around 8 weeks old aswell. She's sleeping lots because she needs it, if you think about it we eat less and sleep more when we are ill as adults so it makes sense for them to do it.
As others have said, don't worry about the finger, accidents happen and it's a little nick not a serious injury.
for you all. Hope you are feeling better soon!

copperpipe · 25/02/2017 08:28

I used to put a drop of olbas oil onto a bit of cotton wool or tissue and tuck it just under the foot end of DDs mattress. I'd also put a drop on each shoulder of the top I was wearing when she was sleeping on me/feeding.
FWIW, you do become more relaxed about colds as they get older, mostly through experience. DD had a cold almost monthly for about 6 months! The first few are awful though, you never feel like you are doing enough/the right thing but you are!

ZoSanDesu · 25/02/2017 08:32

Another vote for calpol plug ins and nasal spray. Make sure you buy enough refills for the plug in as you only get five with the plug.

It was inevitable she would get the cold so don't beat yourself up! Keep her propped up a bit, snufflebabe vapour rub on the soles of her feet and lots of little and often feeds. I don't want big meals when I'm poorly so I wouldn't expect a baby to either. Hope the weekend is better- stay in and rest!!!

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