July 2016 #3

[primarynoodle]

Hello all! Can't believe we're on thread 3! Let's kickstart with a then and now photo :)

Here's Annie at 4 months 4 days

Oh my, I'm very behind on the thread! Been away for a pre Xmas break (or perhaps i should say a very late summer holiday!) Not got our tree up yet but that's a job for the weekend.
Lovely pics from the meet ups guys!

Ouch cookies! How are the burns doing?

Love the cute bauble primary, and Annie sounds like she's doing all the same things as E is at the moment. I had him in the sling for 3hrs on holiday, he loved looking around from up high, but my back ached a lot after. Vastly easier than the pushchair though.

Becks can I have a cookie please? They look fab! I've just baked an festive cake thing for a family do this weekend and my house smells all orangey and gorgeous now. Soooo tempted to try a bit before tomorrow.

Oh julf I hope jasper found his mouth eventually! We try very hard to find bright, gender neutral clothes and it is hard. I'm quite glad I had a boy as I think girls stuff is even more difficult. Beaut and I must have similar taste because E has both those outfits that MB is wearing in recent pics, I can't wait to get the reindeer romper out!

I've skimmed through the thread a bit so I'm sorry I've missed replying to most people. I've forgotten to do my weigh in today but I'm sure it'll be bad news! E is doing well, weighs nearly 15lb at 19 weeks and I'm getting ready to start weaning after the new year when he's 5.5 months. Got some fruit and veg puree stashed in the freezer to start with but he keeps trying to stick his hands in whatever we're eating anyway.

Bluben - ha ha, I snorted re the frozen brain 😂 (Actually I read it as "frozen brainS", and had images of some kind of edible Halloween horror (actually I think there's a cocktail involving Baileys and grenadine.)
We had a doorframe-head collision too, but luckily J didn't seem to notice...
Hope your back/hips get better. Let us know how you get on with the Physio. Is that through NHS? Feel free to tell us what exercises you've been given, so that we can a) do them too and b) hassle you every day so that you DON'T FORGET TO DO YOUR PHYSIO EXERCISES!
I bought our Christmas tree on Wednesday but only got as far as putting the lights on it - no tinsel/baubles etc yet, or any other decorations. DH gets back from his work trip tomorrow so we'll do the rest then. I know he's excited about Christmas, even more than normal, which is sweet, and I'm looking forward to some nice times the three of us, hopefully.
Crikey, I'm not sure how I'd feel if I discovered I was pregnant again so soon.

Rolly - gosh, a toddler and a teenager. But actually I think I'd rather have that than two teenagers. At least it's two completely different sets of challenges, and the teenager might be helpful in looking after the toddler.
That's great that you've got your 3-day week sorted and are feeling chilled about it.

Becks - those cookies look fab!
Hope the nativity play went well and the innkeeper excelled in her inhospitality (Is that a word? It is now.)
A rusk to get you through dinner sounds like a very sensible plan which I intend to adopt!

Primary - what a cutie! Sorry about the poor sleep. Hope it improves.
Please can we have a photo of the tree-vomit? That handprint bauble, on the other hand, is awesome!
How was town centre Christmas shopping hell? Due to J being happiest when we're out and about, I've been sneaky and done most of my shopping early this year, for the first time ever. Most of it was spontaneous and cavalier, i.e. "This looks nice, someone will like it, and J's asleep so Carpe Diem" (or "carpet died", as autocorrect would have it). It means I now have absolutely no idea what I've got for whom, and who still needs presents... Oops. Still, I think I've got a fairly decent haul stuffed in various cupboards round the house, so should be fine.
Re carriers, I borrowed my friend's babybjorn this weekend and quite liked it. Jasper definitely liked it as he could face out. And it meant I could do some lovely hill-walking as well as around town. I'm definitely motivated to use the pushchair less now.

Question for the wrap-users amongst you: can you use them outward-facing, or just inwards/sideways?

Sunday - how was your hol? Was it an active or "chilaxing" one?

Lana (is it an L or a capital i?) - ha, a door-bouncer helmet - there's another great business idea 😀

I'm staying with some friends in the countryside for the weekend. On Friday night, for the first time ever, J went to sleep at 8pm (he fell asleep during his feed) and he slept until 11pm, when he awoke screaming for food. I fed him and went to bed myself, and then he slept until about 8am (with little feeds at 1am, 4am and 7am). I was absolutely flabbergasted at the 8-11pm sleep (and didn't know what to do with myself). Tonight wasn't quite as good - he went to sleep at 8 but awoke screaming about an hour later, and then again an hour or so later. I fed him to sleep again both times. Still, it's progress. I really hope the evening sleep phenomenon continues once we're back home. Hopefully it's not just the fresh country air wot dunnit.
Having said that, Rolly I think your approach of blissfully ignoring routines until after 6 months is a good one. I think loads of things settle into place on their own, and worrying about them is, at best, pointless and, at worst, detrimental.

Re gender-stereotyped clothes/toys, I was interested to see this issue on the news on Friday. The Institute of Engineering and Technology are trying to increase the proportion of women - currently women represent 9% of the sector - and they (the IET) are frustrated by the genderised marketing of toys where things like science kits and cars are marketed as boys' toys and not for girls. I just don't see why there's a need to segregate the toys in the first place. I think toy shops/catalogues/websites should be divided up by age-group, not gender. Of course lots of girls enjoy dressing up as princesses/fairies etc, and lots of boys enjoy playing with cars/tractors etc - and that's absolutely fine - but I hate the segregated targeting and the imbalance (and even aside from the potential societal damage, it would just be nice to have more choice rather than constantly choosing between clothes with soldiers, trains or dinosaurs). Anyway, there's a link here for those who are interested: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/dec/08/gendered-toys-deter-girls-from-career-engineering-technology?client=safari

Back home from my weekend jaunt tomorrow, and DH will be back from his fortnight away, so I'll be juggling my two men again

Hello everyone!

I'm so sorry have dropped off. Grace has a cold, has her jabs and is teething. The result = bugger all sleep and constant whinging! She's up constantly and not napping loads in the day so I'm shattered! Plus trying to be organised for Xmas by posting things to Aus, ordering a table and chairs and getting Xmas and DD1 bday gifts. DH is ill and my house is a disaster. Ah well!!!

becks loving the cucumber! Grace actually snatched some out my hand earlier. I just let her have it and she sucked it like mad! Think it was nice for her gums. LOVING the cookies. I'll take a tray

Thank you for self employed advice. I've won a client to start in Jan so speaking to an accountant. It's only two days a months doing PR but I'm thrilled as using the money to keep DD1 in her nursery two days a week!

beaut I think you're amazing doing it all with four kids. Hope you manage to get a relax over Xmas. Re sitting I just put her hands out in front of her and sit behind her. I try do it a few times a day to get her strength up. I'm a big fan of them sitting up as makes life easier!

juf it's hard thinking of going back to work but by the time DD1 was a year I was more than ready! Now she's nearly two I find days with her can be challenging!

I'm struggling to type as Gracie is going bananas so I'll come back and finish later !!!

I'm so proud of DD (I know I'm biased, but) she was the best inn keeper I've ever seen !!!! She spoke so clearly. They've been learning Makaton signing for the last few weeks in preschool and they had signs for all the songs. She was so good, she's really enjoyed learning it. Ben was really well behaved too. Really got me feeling festive.

Here she is my little

becks those cookies look lush! Loving the nativity chat with rolly too. I can't really believe that will be our July babies in a few years. Your little girl looks fab as the innkeeper. Glad she enjoyed herself too.

How was the break sunday?

Not sure if I've missed something. I saw on julfin's post about someone being pregnant again. Who? It's a lower case L julf. Feel free to pinch the helmet idea and create a multi-million pound business off the back of it. How's the countryside weekend going?

Sounds manic for you anna. Hope things settle down and Grace is feeling better soon.

I wish I could say I'd been sunning myself somewhere exotic but the reality was a trip to Wales. We did however splash out on a more luxurious cottage than we would have done normally with a wood burning stove and a very deep roll top bath, bliss!

Brain hemorrhage is the drink julf, looks like a disgusting curdled mess in a shot glass. You've got me reminiscing about my uni days

Anna hope the cold/jabs/teething misery is getting better today. Congratulations with the job stuff though! I'm getting a little paranoid about ensuring my spelling and punctuation is up to scratch on my posts now with all you writers, teachers and copy editors around!

Awww she looks so sweet becks I'm not surprised you are so proud.

Tree up, mulled wine supped and just the present buying to finish

Anna - sounds as if you've got a huge amount on. Hope Gracie and DH get better soon.
I was thinking of your girls over the weekend, and how you said that seeing your two girls together made your heart nearly burst. J and I were staying with friends and their 3yo this weekend, and she totally doted on J and wanted to cuddle/kiss him all the time (even though she'd never met him before). It was so sweet to see - and that was a little girl who I don't even know that well (my friends moved away to the countryside before she was born). I can't imagine how overwhelmingly beautiful it must be when they're both yours 😊
Congratulations re your January client - that's great news especially if it helps with nursery costs.
Yes I expect that, like you, I'll be ready to go back after a year. Just not yet. I've chatted to DH about it again, and it seems we're both happy for me to extend my mat leave, which is great.

Aww Becks, she's gorgeous! What an adorable smile! Congratulations, and well done her. That's great that she enjoyed learning the signs. I've just been learning about Makaton over the weekend (largely because I was staying with some friends who have a 3yo, so we ended up watching Justin Fletcher on TV). Apparently the signing is based on British Sign Language, which I used to learn for my Duke of Edinburgh award. I'm keen to take Jasper to some classes (e.g. Sing&Sign or similar) - they can start from about 3 months I think. I've heard it's really helpful for them when they're at the stage where they know what they want but they can't vocalise it. My friend's little niece apparently was a whizz at saying what she needed (nappy change, milk, warmer clothes) long before she could speak. Apparently it can massively reduce frustrations and toddler tantrums.

Lana - no-one's pregnant (at least as far as I know!). It's just that Bluebell mentioned about having weird tummy movements and that she was confident that it wasn't a baby - which made me think about how I'd feel if I were pregnant again so soon. That's all - just the ramblings of my mind - sorry to have caused any excitement!

Sunday - the cottage sounds blissful!
Ah yes, brain haemorrhage. There are some things I miss about being a student, but that isn't one of them...

Gotta go, Jasper's decided he doesn't fancy a lie-in today...

Another one here loving seeing siblings together. Ben adores DD and thinks she is hilarious. She loves to kiss him and cuddle him too. This is a big change from when he first arrived and she took every opportunity to pinch, poke and hit him!!

julfin I have to admit that I'm a bit disappointed that it turns out nobody is pregnant. I remember the fluttery tummy conversation but hadn't put two and two together.

becks I'm so pleased they both get on now. It must have been so strange for her to have to share you with Ben when he needed so much time and attention.

Sorry I've not had chance to catch up properly. Grace has a really shitty cold and isn't sleeping. I saw every hour last night! Also trying to get sorted for Xmas as well as DD1 birthday which is straight after. Seems to be taking up so much time. Decided to do loads online but having lots of problems with orders, deliveries etc. Aggggghhhhhhh!!!

Can I ask re daytime naps... Grace is still only cat napping 20/30mins 6 times a day. Is that normal?t what are all yours doing? Xx

Grrr it's turned cold and rainy again and it's hard to dry all the copious amounts of washing! Miserable at the moment - anyone else missing summer desperately! My nips are so chilly at night when I'm feeding!!!

julf xmas town hell wasnt so bad, we did the sling and had so many people tell me how sensible it was Annie napped beautifully in it too! Although my back was in agony... I'm only 23!! Will post a pic of the worlds tackiest tree for you tomorrow. Yay for jaspers sleep, has it continued?
It does drive me crazy all the gender stereotypes being constantly thrown around, mil is the worst - we were talking about number 2 and how it would be lovely for us to have a boy so that dp can play football with him... because Annie is obvs totally incapable of that given she has a vagina and all...

anna totally feel your pain, Saturday night from 7-7 the longest stretch of sleep I got was 45 minutes, I thought I might die. I did cry at one point! Hope grace gets over the cold soon, does she take a dummy? Have seen a fab idea of freezing dummies teet down in ice cube trays full of breastmilk so they can hold the handle and gnaw on that.
I agree about the going back to work thing, looking after toddlers is draining as hell, I will miss Annie terribly but by the time I go back to work I think I will quite enjoy the respite! I think I'd feel a bit differently if I was going back full time though.

becks isn't she gorgeous, what a fab innkeeper!

lana someone brought a week old baby to babygroup on Monday and I got a huge unexpected pang of broodiness! Can you all remember how fekking shattering the first trimester was? Could not be doing with that and the current sleepless nights, it's about the only thing stopping me ribbing my coil out tmi

_anna loosely my daytime naps, I aim to get 3 in but sometimes it's 2 + a little 20 min catnap. I aim for 1-1.5 hours at 9ish, 12ish and 3ish with bedtime from 7-7. In practice I don't enforce a routine at all, this seems to be her natural sleep/wake cycles, and if Bigfoot dp wakes her up during a nap she won't go back to sleep. Also I have found if she sleeps past 5 she is a nightmare to get to bed but if we stick to those times she wakes up less at night.... hope the garbled mess helps?

Lana - yes it was a bit of a delayed response re the fluttery tummy on my part!

Anna - re naps, it's normal for babies to be having around 3 hours a day, cumulatively. So 20-30 x6 is perfect. Many babies (including J) like to break it into 3 naps (morning, lunchtime and afternoon), but it's all down to the baby's personal preference, and it's best to go with G's flow. Just like Primary says, I don't impose a routine, I just follow J's natural pattern. J typically does roughly an hour's morning nap, 2 hours' lunchtime nap, and an hour's afternoon nap, punctuating wake-periods of no more than two hours (or he gets grouchy). I'm trying to encourage him to do an evening nap too, in lieu of actually going to bed.

Primary - bedtime remains hit and miss. Generally over the last few days I've achieved some sort of evening nap after his early evening feed, but this has ranged from 3 hours (hurrah!) down to 3 minutes (less hurrah).
Well now, it's very difficult to kick a ball when your vagina keeps your getting in the way 😖 Of course, if people keep giving Annie the impression that football is for boys, then that's what she'll believe, and then your poor DP might miss out on the pleasure of playing football with her. Which would be a real shame for both of them. I know your Mil meant well, but I do feel sad for little girls who get deterred from fun/energetic games/sports just because of old-fashioned stereotypes and societal expectations. Maybe buy Annie a soft mini-football for Christmas - start her early 😂
Ha ha re ripping your coil out! I wouldn't say I feel broody when I see little newborns, but I do sometimes feel sad that the tiny scrunchy field-mouse phase has passed. But it was a fairly emotional time and I'm not ready to go through that again!

DH spent ages playing with J at bedtime tonight, and then later on he was flicking through my photos of J and exclaiming how cute/funny they were. I think the grumpy old git might be letting his guard down

julf am so pleased your dp has really come into the baby stage! Similar with mine too, he's starting to take her on a Saturday morning so I can have a lie in and he says he's starting to feel more confident, it's made a huge impact on my mental health, I feel so much more relaxed and not constantly stressed as hell!
Me and dp are both avid football fans, she already has a Man City ball much to dp's disgrace, we have so far agreed not to get any strips until she's older as we'd just fight over which team she was wearing haha, helps that his team was relegated last season so there'll be no matches between them this year! It wound me up loads as mil claims to be this strong feminist I was at her comments. Mostly she's ok although I caught her pretending she was Annie's mum to a stranger the other day when I nipped to the toilet, she was most embarrassed when I put the kind stranger straight when I returned!!

This teething thing, I keep changing my mind - I can't see any sign of a tooth but she's biting everything and has all other symptoms - is it teething or is it just a phase? She seems so grumpy of an evening and it does seem to be tooth related but I don't want to give her calpol for no reason if it isn't her teeth?!

Primary I'm so glad about your Saturdays and feeling less stressed - that's great news. I tried to shelter DH from the whole baby situation for ages at the beginning, but of course it's only when they're thrown in at the deep end that they start to build their capability and confidence. So glad your DP is feeling more confident too.

She pretended to be Annie's mum?! Ha! How did that conversation go?!

I'm as baffled and indecisive as you about the teething thing. Once when I'd exhausted all other possibilities I gave him some calpol. Not sure if he needed it or not, but I'm sure it won't do any harm on occasion, to be given calpol unnecessarily. I suppose it's all guesswork really - just go with your maternal instinct.

Primary - was it like:
"How old is your baby?"
"She's 5 months."

Or more like:
"This is my daughter, her name's Annie."

?

Anna E seems to vary nap length day to day but generally has a morning, early afternoon and late afternoon nap. The morning nap is often only 20 mins or so and gets disturbed when I'm out and about. The afternoon ones can be longer especially if he's sleeping on me and he sometimes sneaks a quick power nap in the evening depending on what time his last feed is due. A very loose routine here!

Primary we've got all the teething symptoms here too and I've just been giving him things to chew so far. I'm not sure how to tell if they need calpol for teething pains but I would assume only if they get a temperature? I'll be checking back to see what advice anyone else has though as we've had few bad nights with teething this week. Does anyone else find their baby gets diarrhoea when teething?

julf scrunchy field mouse is just the best description!

Hmmm my mil referred to E as "my baby" at a family do last week. I just gave her the look. Her obsession can be a little much at times but gotta keep the grandparents onside as you never know when you might need them.

So I went to the toilet and got back to see a lovely old lady cooing over Annie and caught the tail end of the conversation:

"Is she a good sleeper"
"Oh yes" (err no actually)
"Awww look she's so cute you must be a proud mummy"
"Oh yes I am indeed"
At which point I walk up and say "yes I am a very proud mummy" and give Annie a big kiss, mil is and nice lady is and just walks away

Bloody nutter

Can I just say - I've never managed to do it before but Annie wouldn't frigging sleep at all this morning, I put her down and went in the kitchen for a cup of tea for 5 mins headspace and I've just come back and she's asleep!!!! I needed to share my news

Primary - was Annie crying when you put her down to make your cuppa? I wish I could do that - I'm really bad at putting Jasper down when he's grouchy because I just can't handle the scream. (Plus side: I'm developing massive biceps!) At some stage I think I need to develop the ability to just leave him in his crib and see what happens. Instead, I just spend all my time out and about - J is much happier (or sleepier) when he's outside. Luckily I've got beautiful places for walking around here. Can't wait for the summer - sunning myself in the parks certainly beats sitting in a one-bed flat!

Gosh, your "whose the mummy?" sketch: hilarious and yet awful at the same time. It must be really galling when you're in your 40s (I think?) to have to say "actually no, I'm not the mummy, I'm the granny". I assume Annie is the first grandchild? I can actually totally understand your MIL wanting to duck the issue, if the lady assumed she was the mummy. My mother totally loves telling everyone that she's a granny, but then she's in her 60s.

Right, I'm off out to Bumps & Babies. Happy Thursday everyone! xx

Article from a few weeks ago. Quite amusing BF fodder.

Jasper expressing an interest in food...
... and drink.

Hello hello, apologies for absence. DH isn't very well - suspected stomach ulcer and also maybe flu - and I am getting less time to myself as a consequence!

We have had a bit of a funny day. I got referred to a BF specialist again so today off we trekked to a little community hospital to see what advice she could offer.

I was hoping for a bit of a consultation on positions, but what actually happened was that she diagnosed Ruben with tongue tie again. She showed it to me and it was obvious even to my layman eyes - off to one side, which perhaps explains why I've had issues on one side and not the other.

Anyway. She clipped it there and then. I hadn't brought a blanket so we had to wrap the poor little sausage in my jumper. It was so much worse than when it was done at 7 weeks. He cried loads and wouldn't latch on afterwards - just turned his head away and looked at me with teary eyes. I felt bloody terrible - and honestly, I didn't feel bad about it the first time round. I think he's just so much more aware of everything now and I felt like I had betrayed his trust. Augh.

We retreated to Granny and Grandpa's for lunch as I was feeling pretty shaken. Then I made a really dumb move and decided to run an errand which took me into Taunton after 3.30pm. Dear god, the traffic. Because mouths heal quickly Ruben has to feed every three hours for a couple of days, and I figured I could feed him in the car after my errand, then drive home. But he wouldn't feed He was clearly sore because he'd be fine, then I'd try to latch him on and he would scream blue murder.

I got really stressed because I was nearing the end of the three hour window and I knew I couldn't drive home because by this point it was 4.30 and the M5 would be hell by the time I got there, so it would be forever before I got home and his tongue would heal wrong and agh. So I ended up going into Tesco, buying Calpol and sitting in their horrible little cafe trying to feed him. He finally latched on at 5.25!

I'm setting my alarm through tonight and tomorrow to hit the three hourly feeds, and then I'm hoping this might be the end of the saga. I had a totally painless feed on the bad side directly after the tie was cut. It has hurt a little bit the last couple of feeds but they've both been when he's sleepy and not so great at opening his mouth. I hope this has fixed it at last, but I can't believe the battle I've had to get here. I did say to the specialist today that I could see why people give up. She said yes - and she'd seen a couple of people this week for whom it was too late. Really stupidly I thought she meant their babies were too old - I mean jeez, Ruben is pretty old for this to still be going on - but she explained that no, she meant that by the time they got to her for help, their milk had dried up

Our system is so slow and holey, and that doesn't work when you've got something that can't wait for five or ten days for an appointment to come up or for you to convince your health visitor that you really do need to be seen. I'm really grateful Ruben has been dealt with but it's only because I've persistently returned to the health visitor for help - and remember that specialist she sent me to about ten weeks ago who just showed me her favourite position and didn't listen to what I was saying at all? I could have given up then! It makes me so cross and was on behalf of all the mothers who do give up, because they get tired of asking for help that doesn't necessarily come. Gah'

Will try and rely individually later, but primary how is DP? Xx

Oh Bluebs, poor Ru and poor you. Hope he recovers soon. Sending hugs to you both xoxo
Hope DH gets better soon too. This time of year is a killer
(Don't you think this emoji is a bit inappropriate? )

Oh bluebell poor Ru. I hate getting stuck in traffic with the kids i get so stressed out as you know you're on borrowed time. How did he feed in the night? I think it's outrageous the BF support offered. My friend switched to formula at 4 weeks because her baby was feeding constantly (normal) HV told her she clearly wasn't producing enough milk so to use formula!!! How the hell are women supposed to crack it when those giving advice don't know what they're on about? Makes me so angry. I tried to explain to my friend that for the first 6 weeks constant feeding is how you get enough milk supply established but she felt HV was right. Never mind.

juf love those pics! Love a bit of pizza express too!

primary that's hilarious!!! Some people are also odd.

sunday my mum used to call her grandkids her babies but it never phased us as she adored those kids and it was never in a way to undermine us. She probably only did it to me and my sister though not my SIL.

Thanks for all the nap experiences. I'm just hoping Grace starts to stretch out more so I can have one with her! Shes feeding every two hours day and night again so I'm getting bugger all sleep and a nap when dd1 is in nursery or having hers would really help me! Hopefully she gets a bit better soon.

Is everyone ready for Christmas? I'm getting there but also have dd1 birthday on 27th so trying to get everything sorted for that too. Looking forward to be able to say I no longer have two under two! People think you're mad if you do
Those BF are you going to have a couple drink Christmas Day? I think I will and express some bottles. MIL keeps saying she wants me to have a break so I'll let her crack on with Grace

Anna - I've been told by a number of reputable sources now that the amount of alcohol transferred to the baby via BF is negligible, even if you have lots. I'm choosing to listen to them NB I'm not pissing it up loads, but on the occasions that I do, I'm doing it guilt-free. Happy mummy happy baby, an' all that