March 2016 Babies Thread #11 - We've got smiley babies, screaming babies and farty babies!

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This time last year....my nephew was days away from being born, I was planning a wedding and looking forward to that holiday.....little did I know that I would fly home with a little souvenir

me I started looking at nurseries for January. Plan was to let my mil look after dd but now think I'd prefer a professional. I'm only going back two days a week can't imagine how you are feeling about going back full time.
Wish this was a holiday, I'm out here visiting dh family with mil as well it's going to be a difficult few days.

new the early am feed wake sounds normal to me. We had a fortnight of E (12 wks today)going 11-5 between feeds but the last week she has wanted fed at the more antisocial 3am though she'll then go down for a few more hours. Mind you a longer sleep meant I was, like Q needing to express.Good luck nursery hunting, I am back in late October but DH has decided to become a SAHD a bit early (was planned for Jan to coincide with a relocation for my work).

winging hope the flight was smooth and the holiday is going well. We have only been as far as the next county.

New J was sleeping until 3/4am, having a feed and going back down, but we've changed nighttime routine a bit so he gets a later feed around 10pm and he's going through until 5:30am ish. Definitely no 7-7 here yet! Same as q the GP booked them in after the last batch.

Me I have found that some of the better nurseries do get booked up very early (one here you have to register before birth!). I also had the problem that I couldn't get back home until after 6pm and only one opened later than that, so it reduced my choice. With DS1 I started on 2 days and gradually built up to 4, but I won't be able to do that this time round. Because I was made redundant, I can't even really book into a nursery because I just don't know when I'll be going back or on what hours, so that is worrying me a bit, but I'm pretty sure I'll have to go straight into full time.

Q childcare costs are extortionate aren't they! We'll have to pay for breakfast/after school club for DS1 too.

Winging it hope the IL visiting goes well. Stay strong and enjoy the sunshine!

Rhu, we'll be back to paying for DS1 before & after school too. And yes to it being (significantly) more than the mortgage - one of the reasons why we have a 5 year age gap.

Regarding sleep - DS2 is still fairly unpredictable (he was going to sleep anywhere between 7:30 and 9pm, waking 11:30ish, 3ish and 5ish) but last night he did about 8:30-7am waking once at about 3:30. I, stupidly, went to bed at midnight and woke up with DH at 6:30. But at least I've got myself ready before both boys are up!

So is the summer over already? Can we expect nice weather again, do you think?

I've already got C booked in nursery for the end of Jan, they get massively oversubscribed here and I wanted her in the same one as ds for obvious reasons! Remember when you go back Me you will have a whole year annual leave and bank holiday allowance to use. I went back 3 days for about 6 weeks then 4 days for about another 10 or so before I started full time. I was ready to go back but was slightly concerned that baby brain would make my job harder! I'm toying with the idea of going back 4 days if work will let me, even with mil help two kids at nursery for a total of 7 days is more than my mortgage and council tax despite having to content with London house prices .

I've started looking too. Ds went to a wonderful childminder until I was on leave, but she's giving it up in September when her youngest goes to school so we're on the lookout for a new one. It's tricky because I want someone who drops at the school ds already does his preschool hours at - which he goes to because that's where his childminder drops and I didn't want to move him from her when his free hours came in. I could do nursery instead but I don't want to move him and don't want to do separate drop offs for him and the baby. I'm also dreading how expensive it's going to be, like Dom we waited to have a second until the childcare costs went down, but he's a September baby and has another full year of preschool, so we'll need a day and a half of care and wraparound for two days, which will still add up. And the school holidays! I'm hoping since SIL has a boy the same age that once they're at school we can do something together in the holidays to save money, take it in turns to have them both for example.

I'm going back FT in mid September and DH is taking shared parental leave till end of February 2017. He doesn't want to return to his current job and DS will start school in August 2017, so we're looking at either DH being a short term SAHP or hiring a nanny to cover that period when two kids need full time care. TBH I think it'll be a nanny, as DH will go stir crazy if he's not working at least part time, as would I!

DS has been at private nursery since he was 1, but he was so constantly ill that first year it led to blocked ears and subsequent speech . He actually regressed between 12 and 18 months. Normal now, but it took ages to get back that lost crucial developmental window, and I'm determined T won't go to childcare outside the home until at least 18 months.

I can support the family on my income alone if there are minimal childcare costs (I'm the higher earner by a significant chunk), or if DH feels he'd rather work, his usual salary would boost the family income enough that we could afford a nanny. It's hard to phrase that properly! I'm very clear in my head that childcare is a joint family expense and the lower earner isn't simply working to pay for childcare as a substitute for them being at home.

Oops that should say "subsequent speech delay"

Oh god MShip that's my worst fear thank goodness ds1 is ok now. I am planning to look at childminders as well as nurseries. I think I prefer the home from home aspect of a childminder whereas DH prefers the structure of a nursery and more opportunity to socialise with other children. I do keep telling him that a childminder can still take DS to preschool when his free hours start, and will have other children too for him to socialise with! It really is so difficult to decide. I feel rather resentful towards a couple of the mums in my NCT group whose families are going to provide free childcare!

In the 4 days vs 5 days debate, DH is right that 4 days will set back my career (even more than just having a child in the first place already has done!) and also that I will feel obliged to essentially work 5 days in 4, and be available remotely on my day off, only having lost 20% of my pay. The cost of the extra day at nursery is inconsequential really - I earn enough that we'd still be £400 a month better off if I do full time than if I do 4 days, even with the extra day to pay for. Gah I'm really torn.

In non-work related news, I am finally having some success at getting DS to nap in his cot when we're at home rather than on me.

I've also finally chilled out enough to stop writing down all his feeds every day! He's got himself into enough of a routine that they fall at roughly the same time every day and he's taking between 30 and 35oz every day so there's no need for me to obsessively record it anymore! I feel slightly liberated!

me, could you negotiate a condensed week perhaps, so five days work spread over four? Might as well make it official and keep your pay.

I can definitely recommend a childminder, ours is a part of the family and I loved how ds got to keep doing what we did on maternity leave, going to groups and classes, the park etc. I think it gives more opportunities for down time if they need it especially if they're under the weather. I had to convince dh too, he came with me to visit her and saw how different it was to what he was expecting and he was sold.

swear I'd like to find a child minder post 18 months as well, for T full time and DS after school plus holidays (my hours are flexible and our catchment school is 2 min walk away so we shouldn't need breakfast club). I get a pretty generous annual leave allowance but it's nowhere near enough to cover school holidays on my own.

I haven't even thought about sorting child care for M...I really should make a start but that means that my little baby girl is growing up

This back to work talk is depressing me as I go back full time at the end of August. Absolutely dreading it, but I'm already taking 3 months unpaid as it is, so have no option. We had to have our childcare booked by September last year!! Bit worried about going back to UK next summer as don't know where we will end up, so can't get anything sorted yet. But have my head in the sand about all of that right now!

So I have 2 days left of my MIL's 4 week visit, counting down every hour! Yesterday I mentioned there was an outdoor kids' swimming pool as it was 34 degrees and we were all so hot, and she replied 'oh, can you imagine us two walruses jumping in there?!' (she is tiny and much smaller than me btw. And note how my DH wasn't included in that description)

Even my DH was and told her to please not call me a walrus

Oh my word ffaux your MIL really sounds dreadful! Not surprised you're counting down. We'll all share a virtual and toast once she's gone!

Just off to our first baby swimming class! Total rip off and unnecessary, but fun I hope - I did it with the other two so feel obliged to do it for a bit with Ds2 if only to get a matching underwater photo

A good childminder is worth their weight in gold! Ours is amazing. But she only works 3 days a week. So DS2 will be going to a nursery for those two days, and it's only that which is making me wobble. The nursery is fine, and it's on site at work so it'll be short days. But it's definitely 4th on the list (after me, DH and CM!).

You deserve a medal for surviving the MIL, ffaux!

(I better get off my arse and get DS1...)

For those using childminders, how did you find one? Was it recommendation or did anyone use the childcare website? We used a nursery for DS1 but it's over the other side of town to where his school is so need to rethink for J.

Our local council has a list of childminders. I rang a couple, both had no spaces but one invited me round to see what type of thing it was (really kind and helpful, I had no idea what to expect) and then recommended our CM (who doesn't advertise).

Have a google, or ask your local children's centre. And then start asking for personal recommendations.

Second all of Dom's recommendations Rhu! I also asked on a local town baby and children's Facebook page, got tonnes of suggestions and my childminder saw it and got in touch to say she had space. That was a good way to whittle down the massive list of names I'd found online, and when I saw she had a recommendation from someone I know that was another good sign.

I've also sorted out childcare as the nursery at my work is very oversubscribed and super convenient as both me and DH work at the same university and it's on campus. Dd1 is there already so we wanted to make sure dd2 got a place. It also had the advantage that I will be able to go in and breastfeed DD2 as they have a sofa in the baby room and with dd1 I went in a couple of times a day to feed her.

Nursery vs childminders is a very personal decision and I think it helps to visit both and see how you feel. I used to be quite wary of nursery settings and worried it was a bit institutionalised but actually having visited the nursery I was converted. I really love dd1s nursery and she has lots of friends there which is really nice - she has one particular friend who often comes up and hugs her when we drop her off in the morning which is cute. We potty trained dd1 this weekend with no fuss and accidents and I think it helped with her going on the potty at nursery and seeing the other children use the potty. We don't send her in full time although we both work full time as we use a mix of family care and days off to cover the two days she isn't in.

Dd2s sleep has finally returned to normal after her developmental leap/growth spurt/whatever. We're back to going down 6.30-7.30 and waking around 2/3 then 5/6. I'm happy with that. All the feeding from last week clearly did its job- had her weighed today and she's double her birth weight! 6.6kg/14lb 8! She's gone from 50th centile to almost 91st! My little chubster maybe it's all the cake I'm eating going straight into my milk haha! 😂

Ffaux your MIL sounds truly awful, you must be a saint putting up with her for as long as you have.

Marmite good to hear your dd2's sleep has settled as we are going through it at the moment - from 1 wake at night (7 hour stretch) to waking every 2 hours for the last week, I'm shattered. We're blaming on a leap/growth spurt too, as he's constantly feeding too. He was 13lb 2.5oz at his 12 week check on Friday, he's growing up too fast!

Hmm
Yesterday I managed a three hour nap 10-1 and a 2.5 hour nap 3-5:30
Today 20 minutes since 7am :/. Even went out on two hour walk and nothing has worked so far. I'll keep on trying but it's so hard isn't it.
She's happily cooing away though.

Well I went out again and got 15 minutes.
Thing is she is very happy and content just not sleeping .
Instead I have this...
I'll try again in 30 minutes, will try swaddling this time to.

Ah time she's bloody gorgeous! Rory has taken to only having 30 min naps and has to be in his rocking chair with a white noise app and takes about 15 mins of rocking before he drifts off - started to notice his eyes go red when he's tired too!

KIT day at work today and I got the lovely news that I can got back 3 days a week. Feel very lucky as part time isn't always well received at my place. My current childminder has also agreed to have E as well which is equally lovely because we weren't too sure if she would want the hassle of a baby as she mainly has school aged children.

I agree with Marmite about Nursery or childminder being a personal decision. Ds went to a nursery until he was school aged, it was a small one and he got on brilliantly there. I would send E without hesitation if we didn't have out childminder now. The main reason we chose nursery for him was because I had a friend whose daughter had been there since a baby and who recommended it.

In other news dh had a great day with E today while I worked and he managed her second lot of jabs too.

Hope everyone is well, Time good to see you again.

Time she's gorgeous!! I've started thinking about going back to work unfortunately but it's actually not worth it until ds1 gets his free playgroup place which won't be til Jan. It actually lose money of I paid two lots of childcare. I'm hoping to only go back one day a week though but I'll have to see what work say about it. Luckily ds1s childminder has said she will have D which is good because she is lovely and ds1 did so well with her!