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September 14 babies - bring on the weaning!

999 replies

KitKat1985 · 29/01/2015 20:41

New thread for the Sept 14 babies. :)

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lilone1234 · 12/02/2015 09:23

I agree, certainly worth a complaint imo. Midwives are medical professionals and blood clots are a potential problem that faces women in relation to birth, so they should know about them, and take concerns seriously. They shouldn't get away with brushing things off as so many of them do, so as has been said if this brings attention to it then that's a good thing. And for your own benefit too Ella - you were asking them for help it's not like you were just trying to ignore and you have had a horrible experience as a result.

FATEdestiny · 12/02/2015 11:15

Ella

The very first thing you are likely to be offered is a review of your medical notes during labour, delivery and initial post natal on the ward. I understand this is done in a very informative, open and helpful way so that mothers can go through everything that happened, have it explained to then and explained why that lead to decisions that were made, and so on.

I believe the NHS bought this in to reduce complaints, amongst other things. This 'wash up' evaluation may help you a lot in itself and answer many of your questions - when was it noted that the cannula was causing problems, what level of experience did the doctor who put it in have, what was the time delay when the new cannula was put in and what was the reason for the delay... and so on.

This may not help with the post-natal subsequent problems, although maybe you can go through the notes here too? I might help though and I suspect if you place a complaint or ask about it, this will be what they offer you first.

On another subject - did anyone see This Morning earlier? Discussion about the struggles of feeling isolated and not coping easily as a new first time Mum. Suggestions that new mothers need to be more open about these struggles and that women who have been through it before should be more supportive. Interesting discussion to be had in that, I think.

KitKat1985 · 12/02/2015 11:17

Ella I agree with everyone else - I would definitely raise it. Maybe try contacting PALs for support? If you're in pain they should certainly have listened to you. I still feel a tad peeved that the midwife in the maternity assessment unit kept telling me I was probably only having early stage twinges as I hadn't been in labour that long, and my contractions were a bit irregular (I had a pretty quick labour for a first baby - about 6 hours). It took her nearly an hour to examine me, realise I was in active labour, and by the time I got to the delivery suite Jessica's head was nearly out. I'd planned an epidural (natural born wimp me) and in the end there wasn't even time for gas and air. I found the whole 'not being believed' thing quite frightening, not to mention at first thinking the midwife must be right as she was the expert and these agonising pains I was having must be just 'twinges', and thinking 'oh hell - these are just the early twinges, then what the hell is coming next' scared the crap out of me!

Re: weaning, I've been trying to wait until 26 weeks (she'll be 22 weeks tomorrow) but her night-time hungers are starting to exhaust me. Last night she had me up 7 times. Shock I'm contemplating maybe starting in a week or two? Also she's very interested in food right now. She watches me and DH eat with great intensity and I'm starting to feel quite mean not giving her any.

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holls2000 · 12/02/2015 11:26

the thing about your notes is interesting. my post natal notes came home with me until I was discharged by community mws. Some of the stuff they had written was wrong!! Sadly in my post natal haze I did nothing about it.....

holls2000 · 12/02/2015 11:26

the thing about your notes is interesting. my post natal notes came home with me until I was discharged by community mws. Some of the stuff they had written was wrong!! Sadly in my post natal haze I did nothing about it.....

cookielove · 12/02/2015 13:48

Elijah had his first swimming lesson today he did very well :)

ella I agree with everyone else I hope you are able to find out what went wrong. I have a friend who is making a formal complaint about one of the midwives who originally saw her at the beginning of her triplet pregnancy!

I had my judgy pants on last night I was out at dinner with my friends and at 9.30 a family with a small baby and a 1-2 year old came in to it! I was very Shock

EllaBella220 · 12/02/2015 14:08

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Acorncat · 12/02/2015 14:15

I wouldn't have the guts to complain, but I think if it's still on your mind then definitely worth pursuing. I can relate to not being believed in a way - when I got to hospital I wasn't examined and told to relax and watch TV. With intense contractions a couple of minutes apart I wasn't really in the mood for tv! Luckily another midwife came in and she decided to examine me. I was fully dilated and the head was already there. It's like because I said I didn't want pain relief then I must be in early stages still. If I'd stayed with that original midwife I'm pretty sure DS would have been born into the toilet!

I'm seriously hating weaning. After trying again with baby rice and him still spitting it out I tried sweet potato. He took it happily but started wretching and gagging and threw up a massive amount of liquid everywhere Sad . I know gagging is normal but to that extent of distress is just not on. I think I'm going to wait till he's 6 months and do blw.

EllaBella220 · 12/02/2015 14:17

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EllaBella220 · 12/02/2015 14:20

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RedToothBrush · 12/02/2015 14:21

Ella. Still no rolling here....

We don't do valentines. But then we got married in Feb anyway.

FATEdestiny · 12/02/2015 14:39

We do cards for valentines day.

I asked my children if they would like me to buy them a card to give to someone special at school (aware DS has a 'girlfriend') and both my boys wanted a card, not my eldest daughter though.

DC5 actually asked for two cards (because "Helen is my girlfriend but I am going to marry Lois"... apparently). DS9 has a 'girlfriend' who happens to be the sister of Helen mentioned above. So spoke to their Mum about this and it would seem that my two boys will be getting valentines cards back.

Knowing that DH and I will buy each other cards and that DS5 and DS9 will be getting cards, worried that DD10 would feel left out.

DD10 is of the ewww boys camp but I think she's like the ego and self esteem boost of an anonymous valentines card. So have got her one and a work colleague of DH has written it so she doesn't recognise the writing. I'm going to deliver it to school so that she gets it in class.

EllaBella220 · 12/02/2015 14:49

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FATEdestiny · 12/02/2015 15:18

Oh she'll love it, she is no wallflower my daughter! I can just imagine her reaction now, that mixture of embarrassment, flattery and attention.

They have a secret postbox system at school. So if she is to assume the card is from someone at school it has to go through the secret post box in school reception.

IAteSomeofthePies · 12/02/2015 15:59

We're waiting to wean, and I was feeling badly about sitting at the table and eating without the little guy. But the past two nights we've put him in his high chair at the table with a little beaker of water to play with and he has been very happy and busy, bashing away on his tray. I hope this will keep him happy for another 3 weeks or so!

IAteSomeofthePies · 12/02/2015 16:00

Thanks for the reminder to pick up a Valentine's Day card for DH, btw. So I guess the answer is no, we don't have any plans!

lilone1234 · 12/02/2015 16:15

It's sad there's quite a few negative birth experiences here directly due to the lack of care from midwives and other hospital staff. Similarly, I was told my waters had broken so to come in and be induced to later find, after being on the drip for 5 hours and in hospital for over 12 hours, that they hadn't entirely. The drip was left at a high level causing me to have too many contractions which affected my baby's heart rate. The drip was messed about with so much I do feel it was a big contributing factor in my failure to completely dilate and my need for an EMCS and am certain it was the cause of Molly struggling.

And also regarding cannula - they put mine in the inside of my elbow (really helpful when holding a newborn) and it caused my whole arm to really swell up.

Glad swimming went well Cookie!

I didn't watch This Morning this morning (haha) Fate but that feature sounds interesting. Did anyone catch The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds on channel 4 on Tuesday? It will be on 4od. I would recommend!

Went to a sensory play session at the children's centre today, was good fun. Molly is still the youngest there but I do think it makes a difference to her as I feel like she is starting to get bored at home. Other mums have been very friendly so far too, not too cliquey. Glad I have started going - thanks for all urging me to! No sessions next week though as its half term!

CumbrianExile · 12/02/2015 16:22

A has his first valentines card already! It is from my parents though Grin

We don't do much, will have a nice tea together once A is in bed and watch a film or something. We have had an offer of babysitting, but everywhere puts there prices up for valentines night. Even the weatherspoons have a set menu option!

We also went swimming this morning, A spent more time trying to drink the water though lol.

KitKat1985 · 12/02/2015 17:51

Ella Jessica's 22 weeks tomorrow and she's not rolling either. She still hates tummy time too. And she's not sitting. She has however mastered blowing raspberries. I'm not convinced she has her priorities right!

She is however getting better at drinking water from a cup, so that's good!

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KitKat1985 · 12/02/2015 17:53

Oh and as for valentines I've got DH a card and some chocs, and may stretch to a take-away. That's about it! I bet he's bloody forgotten as well and I get nothing.

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jaykay34 · 12/02/2015 18:30

lilone I also had the cannula arm swelling !
I didn't realise until I woke up in the middle of the night amd my arm was in agony. I looked down and my arm was HUGE, and i couldn't move it. My hand looked like a blown up rubber glove Shock . I went to ring my buzzer...that wasn't working. I had to wait about 30 minutes until I saw a midwife walking down the corridor and yelled out to her. She came over and just said "oh someones put the saline drip into your tissue, rather than your veins...don't worry it happens all the time", and took it out !
All i really cared about was if my arm would return to normal size - which it did several days after.
That was really my only bad experience about giving birth though. I had totally forgotten about it until reading these posts.

Neena88 · 12/02/2015 19:01

The valentines cards for your children is very sweet Smile

It is a bit discouraging that so many have misgivings about their care.

We've started a baby sensory/mothers group which we both enjoyed, it was so great to meet other mums. It's really nice for the babies too as we sing to them which ds loves.

He had a lot of sleep yesterday so I am expecting him to be full of beans today...

holls2000 · 12/02/2015 20:11

Valentines!!!
Well, guess what we're doing tomorrow then!?!?!?

I am totally unartistic…any ideas as to something I could do from DS to DH?

Love the idea of valentines at school. I went to boarding school and I think valentines post was the most exciting post of the year. One year I didn't recognise the writing so thought granny hadn't sent one and that it must be from fit boy i fancied but she had just got someone else to write it. I was 17. Enough said.

topmammy · 12/02/2015 20:36

That sounds like a traumatic experience Ella. I'd definitely get one of those after thoughts meetings to hopefully bring you closure on it all. I feel lucky that I didn't have to have a cannula!

Holls I brought my notes home too and it said in it 'Dominic was holding the baby. ..' or something like that. I was like.. who the heck is Dominic?! That is not my hubby's name. A few weeks later I found out who Dominic was - it's the husband of a mum o made friends with at a playgroup who was in hospital at the same time as me but didn't know her lol! Small world.

Jessica is 6 months but hasn't rolled yet Sad she does get onto her side though. And has got slightly better at tummy time As she can last about 30 seconds before crying rather than 3 now. Slowly does it!

holls2000 · 12/02/2015 21:04

mine said mother said too tired to feed. NO. they were tryinf to get me to do the rugby Ball thing sittinf on a chair. I had a section. the chair they pulled up to bed was in wrong place - to get out of bed would have to swing legs over chair back. couldn't do it.....
baby feeding well. NO. Baby wasn't feeding well at all.

oh and the embarrassing moment when I couldn't get my buzzer and b was crying and o couldn't get to him so had to hit the emergency thing...had I been able tp reach phone would have phoned dh and asked him to come back to get my buzzer for me.....