September 2014 - Into the new year!

[RedToothBrush]

Shiny New Thread for a Shiny New Year.

shit. sorry didn't think I sounded horrendously anxious, it must drive you all potty. think am going to step away for a bit.

HOLLS don't you dare!!!

It does, that's what the thread is for and its better to get it out rather than let it fester in your head!

NO ONE has said that's it annoying. More that they are concerned for you and want to offer support and help. It may be appropriate to get help in real life too, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't come here too.

If this thread isn't about seeking reassurance and support from other people in a similar situation I'm not entirely sure what it is for. Even talking about what box set to watch is about reaching out to other people when you are stuck under a baby.

And you don't sound horrendous, you just sound like you care. Nothing wrong with it.

I'm a great believer that there is no shame in being anxious, so don't ever apologise for it.

Thanks Honey. We managed to pick up a swim nappy in the sales for a couple of pounds, so I was wondering what else I needed.

Holls I agree with red; I am anxious too, in fact all first time mums are to some extent, and if they aren't then I would think maybe something is wrong with them! It is a big responsibility to suddenly having to take care of another human being who is entirely reliant on you to stay alive; we all need a support network around us ; and this thread could be useful... Why would you step away from it??

Two days away and I've spent almost an hour catching up with posts!!
Holls, you don't sound horrendously anxious at all! So please don't step,away from here. The whole point of this is to rant, vent and get it all out and much better than keeping it all in to stew and then explode spectacularly.

No sitting up here, but DD is giving us just one roll over per day. Anymore than that and she gets terribly annoyed with me!
She loves her Sophie ever since she's had it and it's probably one of her fave things to shove in her mouth as well as most of her finger obviously.
Weight wise :
She was born @ 75th centile (8lb 5oz) and was pretty good until 12 weeks when she was down to 9th ( mentioned this earlier as my milk production took a big hit once her sleeping through night got settled)
So HV asked for another weighing at 13 & 15 weeks by which stage she was creeping back up and between 9th and 25th. She was happy for us to go back to monthly weighings a
After the last one on 6th Jan when DD was 12lb 9oz. Pretty small compared to a lot of the LOs on here I know but she's happy and I can at last see that she is growing out of clothes!! I have been tempted to get her weighed more often but as others have mentioned it'd prob create more anxiety for me so just keeping an eye on her feeds ( she was managing about 36oz per day until the weekend and seems to have dropped a few oz but not too much)

I have no idea on weaning yet , not sure how to approach but have essential equipment ready and will soon make purees and freeze in ice cube trays in preparation.

Holls, I don't think you should take a step back. I am another anxious ftm here, and the only reason there isn't too many posts from me panicing about things is because I come on here and usually someone has already mentioned it, and it has been discussed. We are all here to help each other.

I am not sure if this has already been mentioned, but why do babies wait til you have put them in a nice clean nappy to do a poo! And then when you are changing them, give you the biggest cheekiest grin ever. How can you stay mad at them after that!?

Thanks Cumbrian! My DD takes great delight in pooping in a fresh nappy and then rather helpfully holds her legs up with her hands for me whilst blowing raspberries at me as means of explaining how the mess may have occurred.
I'm finding it v entertaining despite the cheekiness being exhibited at such a young age (and worry what her toddler phase will be like )

Red- swimming: as honey said you need two layers; one disposable swimming nappy which comes in a pack and one reusable happy nappy which should go on top if it;

Then some people use warmers too, so their baby would be warm in water; but I given up on them once ds was past three months as I spent nearly £20 on one only for him to grow out of it in a flash! Ds was comfortable without it as the water is normally kept above 33/34.

The rest is your usual changing stuff ; my advice is to pick up the simplest quickest thing for afterwards as babies are very tired and don't like changing to take ages; pick a big snowsuit or similar instead of many layers to get him home warm

Cumbrian, its THE PROUD SMILE isn't it? "Look how clever I am Mum!"

Holls, I've been on internet forums longer than the vast majority of people - I was making friends with random people from when I first had access in 1996 - and over the years I've met a lot of people in real life from it.

There's one BIG lesson I've learnt over all those years. That no matter what you think or say, however daft, controversial or silly, there will be at least one other person reading it who will agree with you and be relieved you've said what you have. They will often be too shy or embarrassed to say it themselves. Sometimes you'll get a pm, sometimes you'll get someone tell you in person, just how glad they are you've said what you have.

Its a big lesson in learning you aren't unique in how you feel. And maybe it might be an unusual point of view, you are very rarely alone in feeling that. And it can help someone else massively.

Knowing that helps on the shitty days, when you are really struggling with something.

Something weird happens here so often. I can't say it is just by chance, ds likes to poo while sitting in his snug chair! I feel be wait for me to put him in there before he does a big poo!

All first time Mums are anxious. All first time Mums. Many second, third and fourth time Mums are too.

No one here needs to feel bad about that, it is perfectly normal. I can recall 16-20 weeks being the peak of my anxiety with my first born.

Holls - I think you handle yourself really well. Of course you worry. But rather than just pretending everything is fine and dandy, you open your heart and talk about things. You ask for advise and seek opinions and ideas. Even just reassurance that what you are doing is right is helpful. These are signs of a person who has excellent coping mechanisms.

You don't have to stop yourself being worried about your baby. You just need to know how to seek reassurance. And you do this well. Always ask when you need some reassurance, you'll get lots from us

Nazly, that sounds like a plan. We are fortunate and live no more than 2 minutes walk from the swimming pool, so I was planning to go light anyway and carry him.

nazly red the disposable swim nappies you can wash in the washing machine apparently!

holls I never thought you sounded anxious

I love coming on here and reading all about everybody's baby's!

Quick Question nothing about babies, so I have really thick hair it didn't change in pregnancy or after still ridiculously thick :( but when I wash it is still greasy in patches does anyone have this issue and if yes what do I do?

at what point do I need to start thinking about baby proofing?

You don't need to do it all in one go (assuming you don't have a very open plan house), but it is gradual changes over time until eventually your whole house is child proofed.

• Before rolling - Play gym or change mat size safe space on floor

• Once leg kicking/shuffling - Bigger blanket sized safe space on floor

• With pincer grip (to pick up small objects) - Vacuum often because they will pick up tiny bits of anything they spot

• Rolling - baby is now mobile so your main living room needs baby proofing at floor level

• Move any breakable or heavy items out of baby's reach.
• Fire guard
• Close door or use safety gate at door
• Make sure chairs/furniture will not fall on top of child
• Watch for pets reactions to baby moving

*Crawling - Child is likely to be able to move around same-level rooms

• Stair gate bottom and top
• Gate on kitchen door
• Poisons (cleaning stuff, medication) out of reach
• Kitchen cupboard locks
• Fridge/oven locks

*Pulling up to standing - Sturdy furniture.

• Be aware of things like book cases that are not fastened back to the wall. If baby grabs shelf to pull herself up, will the bookcase fall?
• Watch for sharp corners on things
• Stop doors from being slammed shut (trapping fingers)

*Walking - Childproof upstairs

• By this age you will not be able to keep baby downstairs all the time. Practice climbing/descending stairs safely.
• Poisons/razors in bathroom out of reach / locked away
• Anything squeezable in bathroom will be emptied onto floor if in childs reach (my children especially like toothpaste for this!)
• Make up. . Out of reach, not just out of sight.
• Anything in your room (like jewellery etc) either keep your door shut at all times or keep out of reach
• Window locks / care when windows are open if at climbable height
• Blind cords - strangulation risk

I'm sure there's lots more.

Fate that's really helpful thank you.

Our house really isn't the most baby friendly so it further complicates things.

Our lounge is a kitchen/lounge so no door as its open plan. And our bedroom is on the same level upstairs, with the spare bedroom downstairs. I think we are planning to keep DS upstairs with us until he is much older and can cope with stairs on his own.

Anyone else got snow?

Massive flakes here, and there is already settled snow on the ground from last night.

holls I didn't mean for you to step away at all by saying I agree you sound anxious, please don't. Here is exactly the right place for it. The thread is so helpful, I've learned more here than anywhere else. I hope that you are using it to help you and that you will carry on using it.

The thread is moving fast today ladies!

Re babybproofing: If you live in a technology filled house like I do you may want to think about cable tidies!

Wooow fate! We need complete change of furniture then; or even better complete change of house! We have a big open plan with very many furnitures which from your description can not be baby proofed easily; not stable for a kid to hang to them, all sharp corners; everything exposed ... I am sure we will forget things and will be then shocked when the time comes ...

Good point cookie. And flat screen TVs are easy to pull over if not fastened back

Oh - and toast 'posted' into the DVD player etc.

Well last time we tried to attach the tv to the wall, the plaster fell off. Its not possible to do.

I'm thinking that there are going to be severe limitations...

I will definitely be using a baby prison for as long as I can.

Another question: How do I get DH to baby proof... I don't think the concept has entered his head. He still keeps leaving DS in dubious places/positions.

There are corner cushion things you can buy to soften the corners of tables, worktops etc. The rest you just have to anchor down best you can.

We've replaced stuff for more child friendly versions when things naturally need replacing. Like we soon moved onto a leather (not fabric) sofa (easier to clean). When we needed new carpets, biscuit coloured replaced cream (more practical). TV cabinet with doors so Virginmedia box, x box etc can be shut away. Stuff that wasn't child proof just gets moved out of the living room and lives elsewhere.

My brother and sister in law expected that their children would just fit into their magazine quality interior design and would respect the lovely things around them. That changed within a year of them having a baby. Their whole (previously very stylish) conservatory dining room is now a massive mass of plastic toys and play things in boxes everywhere!

I would say though it is always really lovely to see a 'grown up' house change into a creative haven for a child. It's a nice change, I think.

You can never remove every possible risk, there will always be something.

Red - Your DH is very hands-on an just as involved as you are. The odd - what will happen if DS rolls off there? will make him think.

On the other hand, while serious risks should always be mentioned, it is not unusual that the two parents have different approaches to some aspects of parenting. As long as you have a shared ethos, it's OK for methods to be different.

Red, didn't you mention your DH being a climber and kayaker, and you the cautious one? It's reasonable that he'll have a different view towards managed risk to you. My DH likes to throw DD into the air and catch her. She squeals in giggles, its the best laugh ever, she loves it. I would not dream of doing something like that, which I view as dangerous. But to DH it isn't dangerous because he is certain he will always catch her and she will be fine. Just different views towards managed risks.

Thanks all. v touched. blame the hormones (I am going to blame them for everything for the rest of forever). sorry.

am currently trying to get a overtired b to sleep in cot. hahahahhahaha. good news is he has had more to eat each feed today than yesterday. he brought a bit of milk back yesterday after one feed and same today....I have decided that this is just his way now.
bad news is I decided to wash all blankets and toys that go in mouth just incase there were massive tummy bug germs living on them (mainly cos he has a friend who plays with tjem too)...and I dropped Sophie the giraffe in the sink and she has lost her squeak. The noise she makes is a pathetic sound. I am a giraffe voice box killer.
tesco delivery arrived with tommee tippee explora stuff so am busy planning purees. oooh and morrisons havr ellas packets on sale at the moment. 50p each.

Holls Sophie will be fine in a while; just leave it to dry
Ella small bags are on sale in waitrose for 40p

Holls, you just made Sophie more authentic. Giraffes are famed for making no noise as they have no vocal chords.

I was eying up a trip to Waitrose as Ella's kitchen stuff is 40p there, but 50p at Morrisons might work out cheaper (its closer and go there quite a bit and if we buy anything else at waitrose it'll soon wipe out that 10p difference!)

Yesterday DS had a hungry day and slept through for the first time in a week. Today he's vommed up all morning. More than usual. So I'm fed up and frustrated.

Fate, yes you are right, but I still think I have reason to be worry seeing as DH's risk threshold is so out there and I'll be the one dealing with a lot of risk on a day to day basis (including clearing up DH's stuff). I don't really want to have another repeated conversation about why the sofa isn't the best place to keep an ice axe/lighter/hunting knife/hammer/bow saw. (if only I were joking here, apparently I'm a nag for pointing this out). I reserve the right to have a few concerns!