March 2013 - by the time we finish this one we'll be shopping for elf outfits. Eek!

[ecofreckle]

Here we go again then ladies. Plenty more shiny new space to fill up with ramblings :-) Link to last thread

It's inevitable Stormy! I've got a fairly neutral accent which I thought was because both parents had strong regional accents but not from where we lived so it balanced me out apart from the Nottingham glottal stops that I've never left behind and the few Yorkshire-isms I've picked up over 12 years but DD has a full on Leeds accent. I'm sure it'll drive me potty when she's older but at the moment it's bloody gorgeous with big shouts of Mummaaae and nerrr.

Worse, great news on the good night! I bet you feel fantastic despite getting about a tenth of the sleep you need! Glad your friend's doing ok. It's so sad isn't it. You'd never go into a marriage thinking you weren't compatible for life but then one day someone wakes up and realises that's the case. Nobody's fault just a dose of bad fortune and a society where it's no longer the norm to live the rest of your life less happy than you should be for the sake of appearance, thank God.

Stormy, she's been sleeping through until about 5-5.30 for a wee while now but the last couple of weeks it's stretched to 6.30/6.45 and we've seen 7.15 twice which was bizarre! pass us a bun

betty and worse great news on the sleep. Betty now that your dd sleeps through you have given me hope that one ds will follow suit. I remember your sleep struggles with dd from the early days. Are you ready for baby 2 then now that you get some unbroken sleep?

worse it is odd that milk triggers the reflux. Milk was my cure for reflux. I suppose everyone is different.

One of my worse nightmares is to one day that my dh is not mr right. Silly though because I love him loads and we have a lot in common.

We have no accents here. Just a cute squeeky voice.lol.

something I am on season 5 of Lost now. I can't wait to finish it actually its take n over our lives. Me and dh are glued to it.

Betty the improved sleep must feel fantastic. Well done that toddle! Yummy I have no doubt that ds will follow suit and learn to love his bed. It gets us all eventually!

Yummy I know what you mean about your worst nightmare. Since having ds I've had a few concerns here and there about mine and DH's relationship but so far we've managed to work through our problems. I guess neither of us has ever had a relationship long enough for hat to be a problem in the past, so it's been a learning curve. Thankfully he's a good egg and, obviously, I'm a hell of a catch

Worse glad you enjoyed your meal out, and that you found your triggers! Seriously though, have a bang on a cornetto. Mmmm.

Ds has a derbyshire accent. Its not quite errr nerrrr nor is it anywhere near eww newww. It's like he's put a big w on the end of ohw nohw. And he says "'iya" instead of hello. Duck has a very hard u. Earlier I told him daddy was at work and he said "wok", which is very derbyshire and really made me smile.

We got his new play plan from nursery today. It cracked me right up! Apparently he gets toy trains out even if they're doing something entirely different, and goes through the hat box trying every hat on and twirling for the key workers.

yummy first day back wasn't too bad thanks, I was surprisingly awake. And DS's sleep has improved. Like stormy I've always had a good sleeper so it's quite a shock to the system when he goes from 14 hour stretches at night to long middle of the night wakeful periods. You've caught up with me on Lost, I watched part of episode 3 of series 5 today. To say I've seen it all before, I can't remember a bloody thing. It's such gripping tv though, isn't it?

worse your "oh no" is adorable! Ours sounds quite similar but he puts his hands to his face a la Home Alone. And then makes everyone around him join in. They are daft, these toddles.

plonk DS couldn't wait to run off and leave me at the door at his CM's after his 3 weeks off. He doesn't even honour me with eye contact when he waves, just a half-arsed attempt that clearly means "GO AWAY MUMMY". Was DS happier to be at nursery today? Hat-twirling and train playing sounds like a good time to me.

I'm fed up because there's nothing fun to do wedding-wise this far in advance. I've taken to making my own wedding planner so that at least when I can plan, I have something to plan it. And I've got my hungry pants on today. I want to eat EVERYTHING!

Well, tonight I've learnt that even at less than 2 a toddle can show empathy, and understanding. DH is broken. His granddad died today, just a month off his 100th birthday, and on the same day as his son (DH's uncle) was buried. I've never seen such grief, ever, it's heart rending. The toddle put her arms round his neck and cried with him. She also pushed me away, as if to say there was nothing I could do so leave him alone.

Yummy ah you'd know already if your DH wasn't your Mr Right. You've done all the big steps together already, marriage, parenthood, if there were cracks you'd be papering over them already. Here's to many more happy years in all our households.

Something so officially it might be too early to plan, but there would be no harm in a bit of escapist wedding magazine reading, and web surfing now would there? Wallow and enjoy

Big hugs to the house of [Worse]. Dh sounds devastated. Grief is so..,I don't know really, grief is grief. Your daughter's display of empathy is a real credit to you both.

something it's never too early to plan. You need to do your costing and you can definitely plan a loose time table for what you need to do and by when. Granted a year does seem like you've got ages, but you has a ds, a mad puppy and you work. I'll bet you're actually way behind

And my grasp of the English language slips further away still.

Sorry to hear of your dh's loss worse. The pain of losing someone is unbearable at first but over time you learn to cope better. What can be even harder is seeing the person you love grieving and you have no way to make them better. Your dd is amazing and a credit to both of you. Everyday our toddlers do things that makes us think "wow you are amazing".

something it took me over 20 years to plan my wedding ever since I would wrap a blanket around me pretending it was my long wedding dress trail. Me and my cousin used to take turns being bride and groom and play out our weddings . It's never to early. Enjoy the planning. It's great fun.

stormy how is your mum now? Is she better?

I really hope ds sleeps tonight. I gave him ibroprufen before bed last night and we got 4hrs of unbroken sleep then he began crying in his sleep. Calpol and teething granules have been useless with teething this time round.

Seconding (thirding?) hugs chez Worse. It's a bloody impressive age to have reached at least.

yummy we're keeping DD fully dosed with calpol all day. Cample, she calls it. Not surprised the teething granules aren't working though. They're basically just sugar. Which is a surprisingly effective painkiller in small babies, I think because the sweetness just overloads their brains. Nowadays DS can focus on other things while consuming sugar, and so its magical power is lost.

As for my mum, suspected pneumonia was ruled out after tests, and they were going to send her home, until my dad pointed out that we've been here twice before, and just because the tests are clear now doesn't mean they'll still be clear in six hours. So they kept her in overnight, tests again the next day, pneumonia confirmed. She's still in hospital now and not happy about it. Not helped by the dementia, of course - if the doctors say "you can go home tomorrow if test results are good" and all she takes in is "home tomorrow".

Yummy did DS sleep? Crying in his sleep? the poor mite, he must be completely exhausted.

We never tried teething granules, so thanks for summarising their sugary properties for me, Stormy. I had previously written them off as being woo anyway, after I'd seen a photo of Fearne Cotton with a sachet between her teeth. Presumably for her baby, though with her you never know.

I'm so glad your dad put his foot down. I remember you mentioning awhile back that SS finally got involved in your mum's case. Does your dad now get any respite? Does she get the professional care she really needs?

Worse I hope you're all as OK as you can be at this time. So awful to have such a double whammy. That keep-putting-one-foot-in-front feeling is so wearing.

Well she's in a care home permanently now, Plonk, which I guess counts as 100% respite. Still stressful, but without the ever-present worry that she might have fallen or set herself on fire or whatever. And of course there's the financial silliness to contend with, as follows:

1. SS assessed mother's finances based on her income - DLA only - and said they'd fund the care home
2. Council want proof that mother is on ESA before they can process the paperwork
3. ESA is based on household income; Dad's income meant she didn't qualify
4. Council won't do anything to process paperwork until D has applied for ESA on M's behalf
5. Applying is pointless because she's a permanent care home resident now and so cannot qualify for ESA.

In short, it is a bloody silly catch-22.

In other news, if anyone was thinking of getting drawing equipment for their toddler, can I recommend wax crayons? I have just discovered they wash off painted walls and TV screens (!) easily.

Wax crayons are ds's favourite snack

You've got to love a bit of bureaucracy when it comes to the wellbeing of older relatives. Does your dad have power of attorney for her then?
DH's grandpa was in a similar position. His wife is in the late stages of Alzheimer's and a couple of years ago began putting her coat on at 3 am and would try to catch the first bus to Northampton. Problem was there was no bus service and by the time she got to the old bus stop she'd completely forget what she was doing. FIL forced her into a care home for her own safety and he has power of attorney. Although they pay £££ for her care - she has no income, but has a two bed house they bought off the council yonks ago. It can't be sold off because DH's grandpa still lives there, so his council are essentially waiting for him to expire so they can sell the home and fund a few more years of care. Not sure how else it could be funded but it's a thoroughly unpleasant trap, because she dared to develop a very common illness.

In your mums case it beggars belief that the authorities are at a stalemate! So who currently funds her care? Is it drawn directly from her DLA? What a pain!!

Well I've done my intense yoga thingy and eaten my lunch so I better get back to work. eco love are you still about these days?

Thanks everyone, it's a little subdued here, but we're all ok. Yummy you are right, the very worst part of it was being so helpless to help. I've seen DH teary before, but never full on wracking sobs. The funeral is in two weeks, and I really want him to go and say his good byes, so I've arranged for a friend to take me to hospital and be my birthing partner should I by freak coincidence go into labour on that particular day.

Stormy I'm so glad your mum has you and your dad looking after her interests. SS sound completely incapable. Fingers crossed things start to look better soon.

Teething granules are just sugar?! Really?! That's made me smile as aren't they favoured by the whole food all natural brand of parenting ? Never worked for the toddle so I have packets of the stuff sitting in the cupboard unused. Perhaps I should give them to MIL for her tea next time she's down...

Speaking of MIL she wants to come and stay to help when the baby is born. This pleases and terrifies me. Pleases, because who wouldn't be glad of help, and DH is going to have to be in Cumbria a fair bit doing hotel stuff. Terrifies me because, well, she's my MIL.... in my house..... for more than one day . Slightly less terrifying than having my mum do the same though, as MIL wouldn't dare boss me around. My mum wouldn't entertain the notion of not doing so.

Todays new word is abble (apple). I'm amazed how fast she is catching up. Might even pass the two year check up at this rate. We also had a second night where she stayed in her bed until 6.30am. Yay!

You did make me laugh there, Plonk - the idea that DLA would come remotely close to covering it! Not sure if she still gets it, even, what with being in a care home. So far as I know, at the moment there is a rather large unpaid bill somewhere, which by SS's reckoning is not our responsibility. Worst case scenario is them clawing the cash out of our inheritance. But wills and power of attorney were sorted a while back, and the house can't be sold while Dad's still in it, and they could only potentially get half its value anyway - when he dies his half goes straight to us. And if she dies first and the council have decided by then that they will pay after all, then I will inherit one sixth of a house that still has my dad still in it, which will feel a bit peculiar.

worse, they do all get there in the end with talking. It just suddenly clicks, it seems. Awesome, isn't it?

We had a similar night last night and was counting down the hours to give him another dose. I feel bad for giving him calpol/ibroprufen but I don't want him to be in pain.

stormy I had no idea the granules are sugar. Maybe you are right they are not as effective as babies get older.

I am pleased wax crayons are washable. I bought some for ds stocking and have yet to be brave enough for him to use it.

I am glad your dad put his foot down stormy. Hope your dm gets better soon.

We never think about what happens when we are old and who will care for us. Me and dh need to think about these things as we would hate for our children to be mind boggled with all the care home dramas (if we live to be old that is).

I have done more cleaning this morning. My kitchen and store cupboards are sorted and clean. It is very therapeutic.

While we're on the topic of being old and decrepit, has everyone got a will sorted? I hear they're the done thing once you've dropped a sprog. Although I only know that because my sister called me a few years back to ask if I minded being left two small girls in her will.

Rules for wax crayons: at the table only, and absolutely no wandering about with crayon in hand, especially when Mummy is distracted by the washing up. Oh, and discourage sticking them up the nose. Other than that crayons are pretty easy entertainment.

As for when I'm old... Not very likely to have any assets that could pay for care - home ownership is out of the question until such time as my parents die. And I'm not sure what I'd get for one third of the value of a 1920s 3-bed semi anyway. Possibly a garage?

You'd get a bostin' holiday Stormy.
Wills are on our to do list. We're still undecided on who gets the sprog if we pop it, we have two v good candidates in mind but politics etc.

Yummy I need to devise his I want my new kitchen to work. There's no order to it at all, we just shoved stuff anywhere while we were unpacking. Hmm. I need order! Can I borrow you to do this for me?

Worse I cant believe you're making contingency plans in case you go into labour in two weeks. I mean I can, because you're sensible, but you've only been pregnant 2 minutes! I'm sure you'd disagree, but it feels that way anyway. Exciting! I bet you can't wait to meet him, dare I ask about names?
Can ds teach ds about apples? He calls all fruit either "poot" or "papple". Come to think of it, ham is known as "pam" so maybe she needs to teach him about the letter P.

Wills, yes, done, after I caught the end of a radio 4 money box programme on the implications of dying intestate.

If you have children together, but have no will, assets are split between the surviving spouse and the children. All fair and good you say. Well it is, until you think about the reality. Often women (as it is usually women who have given up careers to be SAHPs) are faced with a situation where they have to sell the house, as other assets have gone into trust for the children leaving them with insufficient means to pay the mortgage. That kind of scared me as we have most of our money tied up in the house. From DH's perspective if I died first my family would have a claim on various assets, which would be a political nightmare. A half hour trip to a family lawyer seemed by far the easier option.

Plonky I know.... where has the time gone???!!! . I am in complete denial. Hospital bag isn't packed, babax's clothes and blankets are not sorted, and my contingency plan for toddle childcare on the big day is, errrr, to be advised. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day when I will sort these things

Wax crayons sound excellent, but may I also recommend washable felt tip pens. They are fab. Make every bit as much mess as ordinary felt tips, but can be wiped off surfaces with a wet wipe, washed off hands and face in the bath and removed from clothes with a good soak. Very parent friendly.

Funeral is 30th. Due date is 6th. Odds on my having already sprogged by then??? I'd say fairly good

Plonky we have a name. I'll FB it when he's here, to do so earlier seems like tempting fate somewhat. We hadn't, until yesterday, but now it seems right to name babax for the great-granddad he so nearly had a chance to meet.

Worse I'm so sorry for your family loss but it's a lovely tribute to name babax for his great-grandad.

Stormy, we're great fans of the wax crayon here too until the dog ate the blue one and pooped it out whole and drawing is the number one activity for madam and I'm starting to curse the blackboard because chalk dust is a pain in my ass!

Thanks for reminding me about a will, we don't have one and really need one.

I've been very good and been to the gym/swimming a lot this week but eaten half a pack of chocolate orange segments and a KFC for dinner. Dirty!

Worth mentioning for those pending marriage that any Will becomes invalid and will need to be redone when you get wed.

worse what a lovely idea to name Babax after DH's grandad; such a nice tribute to him. I hope DH is doing better after the shock of the news - I'm sure he will with cuddles and empathy from your caring DD.

yummy how is DS coping with those pesky teeth now? I felt one coming through in DS's mouth and I can see why they're in pain; the buggers are huge!!

Making wills is so grown up. Surely I'm not adult enough for that? Actually, yesterday was the first day I felt like a proper grown up. Sure, I'm responsible for a child, a dog, have a mortgage, drive a car and all that kinda stuff but yesterday, I caught myself listening and smiling along to Radio 2 and then the idea of making up a kingsize bed alone didn't faze me...and I did the task in under 10 minutes. I'm such a big girl now!! But on the info from wotta, it may be worth waiting one more year until I become a Mrs.

betty your dinner sounds amazing. I gnawed my way through carrot, celery and cucumber sticks, a banana, an apple and an orange for lunch yesterday; I'd have killed someone for a chocolate orange, I think.

We have teething pain and constipation. Ds is super fussy with his food. All the wonderful fruit and veg he used to eat as a baby is totally the opposite now resulting him in crying and me helping him poo by teasing it out with a cotton bud. Sorry hope any of you weren't eating.

worse ditto what everyone says about naming baby after his great granddad. Who knows you may be overdue with babax. My friend was over a week overdue with her second we was quite surprised about that.

How on earth do you decide who would have your dc in the even you and your dp dies. What if the person you choose dies before you do or their situation is no longer stable as at the time you made the will. Dh's close family is abroad does that mean dc would have to move country to be cared for. The mind boggles. Lots to think about.

We had a lovely walk in the park today before the sun disappeared. Ds has kept a leaf to give to dh when he comes home. Did I say that as well as looking after a grumpy constipated toddler I now have a grumpy snotty dh to look after too. I hope me and ds don't catch it.

Something you must have been ravenous. That is not lunch, it's barely more than a pint of water! I still balk at making the king size bed. I'll never understand how you're supposed to do it without climbing all over it. Dh won't even go near the cot, he's crap at making beds pretty.

Yummy would ds suck fruit purée from an Ella's pouch? Could be a way to ditching the cotton buds (because, you know, boak). As for picking who gets ds in the worst case scenario, we narrowed it down to our two candidates quite easily. Ds has bonded well with both, they're family, not too different in age to us (we wouldn't choose our parents because their increased age holds the potential for more instability iyswim) with a similar outlook on life. Our candidates are my sister (good job, stable home life, would support ds's emotional wellbeing and education) and DH's sister (she's only 22 but mature, has better connection with ds and would sacrifice everything for him). When my parents chose guardians for me and DSis it wasn't based on closeness, but who they knew would best replicate the life they would themselves give us. I think that's a good way to make the decision.

I'm yawning my head off.

Oops posted too soon.

Ds woke me at 5am. He'd normally go back to sleep but today is my lucky day! We've pottered about a bit going to shops and eating soup, and now we're watching Brave. It's been nice, I've really missed him this week.

But I think I smell poo.

Plonk I am still here but with all this chat of cotton buds and ooking out poo I may not be for much longer ;-) Yikes!

That sounds like a nice chilled day Plonk. When you say you've missed him, do you mean when you've been doing your work and he's been at nursery? I guess because you've had him with you 24/7 for a couple of weeks. It's nice to feel that 'missing' feeling; they are getting to be little allies in life. I love Ecotod's company except when I don't if you know what I mean she's a proper little person now.

She is currently singing jingle bells through the monitor. Which is pretty funny. It won't be funny if it doesn't stop soon though. DH is in the big smoke and won't return until 1am ish so I am keen to have some peace and eat my dinner.

Yummy does he go for dried dates, apricots, sultanas and figs? Will he drink more if encouraged? It must be hard to know what to do for the best. I believe our Worse is our resident expert on baby constipation. With regards the will, I guess it's something that we need to periodically review as our own and other people's circumstances alter. Making the will is the first step in the direction of adulthood, reviewing it means you've officially arrived.

Something. I don't understand why January is supposed to be all about reining in your foodie desires. January and February are all about the cake surely? What else is there to do? If you can't enjoy a sauce smothered spotted dick in the bleak midwinter when are you supposed to? Your wedding is ages away and you are already delightful. Don't be fading away to nowt. Your DF evidently thinks you are super hawt currently.

Now Betty, I like your style. How did you feel after the KFC? I love the skin coating stuff. It's probably MSG mixed with cocaine. When I was about 12 my mum had a hysterectomy and we visited her daily. The hospital was near a KFC so that's pretty much how is fulfilled his duty of feeding me. KFC reminds me of then. I bloody loved it.

Worse I am sorry to hear that DH is experiencing such cruel blows. Grief is such a powerful physical feeling. I felt like I literally had an aching heart and instinctively grabbed my chest to try and convey the strength of feeling. I do hope that you are OK supporting him through this time. It's tough for both of you I imagine. I'm not very mystical badger but I do like the idea of a brand new family member arriving after the departure of another. Thinking of you.

Stormy I'm in the lucky position of not having had to plough through all that care stuff that you're in the midst of. Sounds like an overly complex and unfair system. How does your Dad cope day to day without her? I imagine that it's easier in many ways but not in others. Was he fairly capable and independent?

Oh, crap, I forgot my dinner in the oven. best go.

Some bastard stole my hunter wellies from my doorstep. I am fairly distraught about that. They are my daily footwear of choice for most circumstances. That's my news!