September 2006 babies

[Lysettes]

Start of our september 2006 post natal thread!

Redz- I did read that the sma white isn't actually a heavier milk, it just stays longer in their stomach and takes longer to digest- hence the wind probs! although it was ok with DD, from what I know now she was amodel baby oh, how diff it is this time! I would avoid it and try anything but it after the probs i've had with Ben on it. It has been nothing but trouble and he never went longer than three hours in the day on it anyhow, so it couldn't have been that effective for his hunger... Good luck and let us know how it goes...

Here I have B asleep in his chair, now overdue a feed -whay hey... since we changed his milk he seems more settled and DD asleep under my arm on the sofa as she wouldnot go in her cot and screamed- lil'minx!

Went to get B weighed as I said and saw lady in there from my mw app's- she was always waiting when I was there... Said she saw another lady who was in the waiting room always too and I said I had seen her in town too- but she blanked me when I spoke to her and I thought she pretended that she didn't recognise me even when during our app's her and her hubby were so chatty, maybe even toooo chatty and telling you and everyone their business. She said that she had blanked her too and when she said that 'don't you remember me from the mawney rd clinic?' the woman said no and was rather fierce! Both agreed some ppl are weird as surely when you have a baby and it was her first, you want to make friends with ppl with the same aged children... I just don't get some ppl.

For what it's worth, Dr Browns increase colic in babies! If you notice the straw down the middle of the bottle & the type of teat used means that the baby is continously sucking...i.e it's forced upon them so they don't get a chance to stop & come up for air. Avent bottles on the other hand are much better in that they allow the baby to suck at their own pace ( due to the specially designed teat)...if they're not sucking then no liquid is being drunk...unlike Dr Browns whose teat, if always in the mouth, means they have no way of controlling the amount of milk that is passed into their tummies. You can test this theory by turning a Dr Browns bottle upside down...it always leaks...an Avent one doesn't..

Blimey, the bottle thing is a complete mine field isn't it?!! We're using the Avent ones for dd's top up bottle and so far so good although only dh has given her them so I've yet to see how she copes with it.
Dh has gone out tonight so i'm home alone, praying dd will stay asleep!! Been up since 5am so coulddo with an early night. Mother and Toddler's was lovely with just ds - I could go to the loo on my own and drink my cuppa as ds playing really nicely. Dd didn't need feeding while I was gone so everyone was happy. God only knows when I'll be able to do it again though

I'm totally crestfallen....

Tonight was the first time I had to put both of them to bed on my own as DH working late! I was panicking about it slightly as J has been going down the same time as DD (so how would it all work out with doing what when & how etc!!)...in a nutshell before I even get DD up to bed, I told her I loved her to which she replied (pushing me at the same time) "No Mummy love Jack, no love Olivia..."she repeated this a few times always pushing me away etc. So then on to pjs & story. She wouldn't put them on, ran around being difficult so in the end I got cross & got hold of her & told her it was time for bed etc...all through this she's screaming for her Father...Jack is screaming for milk so I go & get him, feed him whilst reading to her. She's not that interested in the stories (is chopping & changing which one I should read etc)so off we go to bed to which she suddenly demands that "Jack go away, Mummy lay on her bed" etc. I can't stop feeding Jack, obviously but she's screaming & screaming & crying her little heart out. I finally get her to calm down & lay down & I go back to Jack's room to finish feeding him (with the low light thing going on!) etc. She them starts again, crying out "Mummy Mummy" etc...in the end I can bare it no longer so go back in with Jack, try & calm her down & tell her that I love her etc...all the while (which probably didn't help) me crying along with both the children!

The point I think I'm trying to make is that a) I know it's a huge upheaval for her b) it's been 4 weeks since I managed to put her to bed c) she senses things have changed & as Daddy wasn't there played up (she goes to bed fine when he's been doing it, kissing me good night & telling me she loves me etc) d) I feel awful not having the patience I did with her ....I just didn't anticipate her telling me I just loved Jack...it's really hit a nerve .....I just don't know which is the best way to go tomorrow if Jack needs feeding again at the same time...all this & she's just two years old!

Aw Cori - HUGE virtual being sent your way What an awful evening you've had. I don't know what I'd do if DS1 said that.

Re colic/wind/bottles - with DS1 we tried every single teat you can buy from boots/mothercare/sperdrug etc and NONE of them could stop him getting wind - we ended up in hospital because he couldn't feed properly. The paediatritian told us that it's all down to mouth-shape and sucking 'style' and different bottle suit different babies. We eventually managed to get hold of the cow and gate disposible teats (pink ones you get in hospital) and they worked best for him - though for most babies they're no good!

Redz - you'll probably find that as LO gets a bit older you can start to space the feeds out a bit more. Personally I'm a great believer in the 3 hour 'rule' for helping wind/digestion/reflux - unless of course baby is really hungry. It can be difficult to get into because they get used to 'snacking' and end up never taking enough to see them through. With my 2 I've slowly 'eeked' out the space between feeds by giving a dummy, doing a bath etc. if you persevere you find that they begin to increase the amount they drink at each feed and then go longer until the next one - but bear in mind that's just what worked for me and my babies and some people on MN might have me shot for 'starving' my baby!!!

Thought about making gingerbread men today but ended up starting to decorate the hallway instead! - gingerbread tomorrow maybe!

Claire - I'm really sorry to hear about your day.

I had a weird one: the AD was stress-tested yesterday and must be working. Blew out a tire on the highway; had to wait an hour for a tow truck while massive SUVs and 18-wheelers sped past 0.6 meters from my rearview. I wasn't really any of what I would've been - frustrated, angry, sad ... just calm, cool & collected ... A bit frightened; rolled on the rim further into service lane. Used the time to start a diary.

Was on the way to pick up DS1 from school, so DH went.
While I was waiting he was home trying to handle business on the phone with a colleague from Dallas while juggling crying baby and bottle and DS1 who was blowing his loud "train whistle" - LOL just thinking about it. Luckily colleague has a sense of humor and children of his own.

We're using the Playtex drop-in system; just sterilizing the nipples and tops, as drop-ins are disposable. Used it for DS1 as well; had to replace nipples b/c they were leaking after use by DS1. Took two weeks to figure this out ... poor DS2.

Cori, we crossed - so sorry. I do still remember trying to get used to my sister, who is 3 years younger than I. I hope things get better.

Claire - replied to your email (sorry about the essay!)

Don't have time to reply to everyone, but I just wanted to say Cori, don't panic. I've done a few bedtimes on my own now, and found that the only way to cope is to basically put DS1's routine first, and make DS2 fit it. Here's my "system for coping" - We have a seat in the bath for Fraser, so they both go in the bath together, and DS1 "helps" by pouring little cupfuls of water over F's tummy. Fraser then gets out and I dry him and dress him in the bathroom on the changing mat. Then he gets infacol and half a feed while I sit on the loo and sing with/talk to DS1. Both seem quite happy with this at the mo... Then DS1 gets out too, wrapped in towel, and we all go into our room, where DS1 lies on the bed to get dry, and Fraser gets to lie on the pillows. Basically this is exactly DS1's routine from before with another person added. Then Fraser just gets left, either on our bed or in his cot, while I read to DS1 and sing a song with him before sleep. Once DS1 is settled, I finish off with Fraser in his dimly lit room! I've found it definitely works to leave Fraser and put DS1 to bed as though Fraser doesn't even exist, as DS1 would hate me to be feeding Fraser while doing "his" bedtime routine. THe first time, Fraser cried in his cot the entire 10 mins I was putting DS1 to bed, but at least the door was shut..!! The second time, he just cooed to himself in our room and didn't seem to mind much, as he was near the light which he finds fascinating. I guess this will just become the norm for him when DH isn't there.

Sorry, very very long way to say that maybe tomorrow try something similar. I figured bedtime was when I just HAD to make DS1 feel like nothing much had changed and he still got his mummy time. When DH puts DS1 to bed when he's here, I also take a couple of minutes and put F down to go and give DS1 a big cuddle all of his own, on his own in bed. Even if it's just 2 minutes, I think they do appreciate it.

Good luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you - I'm doing it tomorrow too, so 6-7 pm let's remember eachother and keep our fingers crossed!

Xx

Cori - so sorry to hear about your bedtime trauma. I totally sympathise, we are having all sorts of wierd behaviour from DS1 - he freaked out yesterday with me because he didn't want me to wear my boots, again because he didn't want his slice of quiche cut up he wanted it whole - just really silly little things are setting him off.
Redz - I agree with liquids advice to you on the wind thing - Fortunately DS2 doesn't suffer with it, but Ds1 did terribly, I relied on infacol, and I think trying to space the feeds out is important because of the digestion thing. I remmeber that by 6 or 8 weeks though he's almost got through it, so not long to go!
I am starting to move Freddie up in to 3-6 months clothes!! He is huge!! and only 4 weeks old! I'm getting him weighed on friday - he'll probably break the scales at this rate - and Ds1 was such a skinny thing

Dr.browns bottles have really worked for us, it has stopped DS taking in air from the bottle, as Cori pointed out the bottle will leak when upturned unlike our avent or tommy tippee ones but it leaks because there is no air to hold it in, if you get me. DS is only taking in milk during a feed rather than loads of air and so it has eased his problem. DD was very happy with the avent bottles but if having DS has taught me anything is that all babies are different and what works for one doesn't another and I think you'll only know if you try...

Here, we're ok... DP has to teach an evening class tonight so no doubt i'll be putting them both to bed on my own- not that i'm bothered really as he isn't much help any how... Sorry to hear about stressful bedtimes!

we are having problems with jacob with wind although we are using coleif and gripe water (half a dose) and it does seem to be helping somewhat. we are also using avent bottles for top ups.

told by a nurse yesterday that breastfed babies are windier than bottle fed???????

on a good note jacob now 9lb 11oz, so getting really good sized now, although I end up funing every time we go out because LOTS of people see him, remark how lovely he loks (this is great!) and how tiny he is . one woman even doubted his age the other day

on a good note FIL left today and dh had obviously ad a word as i got a half hearted apology as we left them at passport control.

Lysettes, I think no-one knows what they're talking about - your midwife! Surely some babies are windy, some are not? Both mine have always had to burp before I can lie them down or they screw themselves up in pain, and both breastfed.

Bit tired today, think it's just 6 1/2 weeks of broken nights catching up with me. DH is in Dublin today, left at 6 this morning, so I woke up then too.

Feeling very sad about DS1 today. He cried and cried when I left him at nursery today. I have said to DH that I have to spend some time very soon with DS1 on his own, doing something fun. We've all been going through this I think (those with 2 I mean).

DS2 has been unsettled today as well, we had to take DS1 to nursery, so that interrupted his feed first thing, and he seems to have been snacking ever since, until he took a big feed about an hour ago, then fell fast asleep. He hadn't really settled to a sleep earlier, kept falling asleep on my shoulder, then as soon as his head touched the mattress, waking up and screaming. Although he settles well in his cot at night, he seems to hate it in the daytime. But I can't have him fall asleep on me for sleeps, as DS1 would then have an immobile mother! Sigh. I remember around this age with DS1 we had to teach him how to settle in his cot. I'd forgotten....

Message withdrawn

Compo - Georgia will be 6 weeks old on Friday. She is still sleeping through most nights, usually about 7 hours. I'm trying to get her into a routine for daytime naps. Up until now, I've been having problems putting her down during the day in her travel cot, but a new friend of mine, who also is a mw has told me that her LO's wouldn't settle downstairs because there were too many distractions so she puts them down every day at 12.30 in their bedrooms. I'm going to start trying it with Georgia. She suggested using the 1 tog Grobag during the day and keeping the same nap time every day. It may take a while for her to get used to it but I'll be much happier if it frees up a bit of time for me.

Marls - My ex so far has said he wants nothing to do with Georgia. I have no idea if he'll change his mind, but thanks to his recent behaviour, any access he does have in the future will be at a contact centre with social workers present as I don't want to be alone with him. The last thing I heard, he had told my solicitor that I had an affair so Georgia is not his, he's sacked his own solicitor to try to drag the divorce out and he has moved all his money so that it looks like he has nothing in his bank accounts. Pleasant chap really! We will get a DNA test done to prove he is the father but he will have to pay for it so he's really not helping himself. GRRRRRR!

Georgia has been really windy too. I had started her on the larger bottles as she started taking between 4-5 ounces but I kept the number 1 teats as the larger teats meant she took the milk far too fast and therefore struggled afterwards. Also, she really likes her food and if I tried to wind her in the middle of the feed, she'd get so distressed, she'd end up taking in lots of air, so the winding was a waste of time. I've been using Infacol and I've just started her on infant Gaviscon as she was having problems with reflux. So far, it all seems to be working and she's improved no end with the wind.

I have my 6 week check next week and Georgia has hers too. She seems to be growing in length as much as in body size and is growing out of her little outfits so quick I can't keep up! She weighed 8lb9 at the last check! Hope everyone is ok and all LO's are doing well. I've added a couple of photos on the Yahoo site and will add some more soon.

Mandaz - I forget the detailed circumstances of yor breakup with Georgia's father but from what I remember and what you're saying now it sounds like you and her are much better off without him. Shooting himself in the foot a bit as well with the DNA test and sacking his solicitor!

For mandaz and anyone else who might be dealing with reflux rather than wind there are a few things I learned from DS1 that might be helpful (sorry if I've mentioned them before). First is that if you're FF and using gaviscon then ask your GP to prescribe 'enfamil AR' instead as it's a type of formula with the thickening agent already mixed in. This means less hassle, free formula but most impotantly it means that baby doesn't get a 'double dose' of sodium. It costs approximately the same for a GP to prescribe as gaiscon so there's no reason for them to refuse. The second tip is this website - directed at BF mums but a lot of the techniques apply for FF as well.

Here I think Alex must be having growth spurt or something! He's been so hungry I can barely keep up and poor DS1 is having to entertain himself as I seem to either be feeding, burping or nappy changing - all hopes of routine today disappeared when I tried to take a shower this morning and DH thought he was being 'helpful' by settling Alex back to sleep at 8am! Thankfully I had my homestart volunteer this morning for a few hours. I didn't really 'use' her time productively but instead took the opportunity just to sit down and have a cuppa, go to the loos on my own and put DS1 to bed without having to rush off to see to the baby in the middle of it.

Norms, Fraser's poos are very yellow (just like English mustard) and very very runny, often liquid!

Liquid, what's a homestart volunteer? Sounds like an angel...

I just burst into tears on my neighbour. How embarrassing. Just feeling really miserable today with missing DS1 time, and tiredness, plus I haven't seen another adult today, apart from Philip and Fern on the TV..! Can't grumble at Fraser, who is asleep... Had my 6 week check today and they asked about contraception. Like that's on the cards... not. Sorry to moan.

Hey Claire - what else is MN here for if not to vent at occasionally?

My homestart volunteer is an angel of sorts. Last year just after we'd moved house and I'd just found out about the little surprise now happily snuggled on my lap I was struggling with some aspects of DS's begaviour (banging head on walls deliberately) and I wanted a second opinion on how to handle it. So I rang my HV who is just great and I respect her opinions loads. She asked how my migraines were now I was pg again and quizzed me on work and how I was balancing that with life and my studies and she decided I had a 'need' for some extra time (as we all do I'm sure). So se referred me to homestart which is a voluntary agency that sends volunteers to families to basically give mum/dad a helping hand. Initially my volunteer (comes one morning every few weeks) would play with DS while I studied or wrote essays but now that's finished she can play with DS while I have a rest if I'm ill that day or I can catch up on general SAHM stuff that I maybe don't have as much time for because I can lose time to migraines. I think it's a great scheme and I'm hoping to pass the favour forward someday when my 2 are older and I have some free time.

Have to go - DS2 has just thrown up some green mucus with his sick ?

Lysettes- well done for your apology from your FIL...! At least DH is standing up for you and appreciates what you do with your children and he respects you.

Liquid- My sis had homestart when she had her twins as her eldest was only 11 months (as you guessed the twins weren't planned ) and her homestart lady was lovely and still comes to see her and the children but not in a home start capacity just as a friend now. Anyone with two children under school age are entitled to them I think...

Got DD off to bed fine and luckily DS enjoyed watching the tv... a recorded episode of the little princess! Was dreading him screaming downstairs and me having to sort out DD upstairs... luckily we were all ok! DD went to bed with the free peguin comforter with the fabric softner we got today- how easily she is amused... thank goodness at the mo

Evening everyone
My mum was a Homestart volunteer many moons ago and I remember going with her in the school holidays and playing with the kids she looked after...
Went to baby clinic today and dd has put on 11oz in a week!! As for the poo question - dd was doing daily poos but it has gone right down now and she did a massive one today after not poo-ing since Friday Hv said that's quite normal in b/fed babies and not to worry as long as they are runny and not hard.

forgot to say - my ds is obsessed with his nipples after watching me b/feed - after his bath he shows us his and says 'nipples'

compo, F has also cut down his pooing.. none today, but several yesterday. apparently breast fed babies might do 5 a day or 1 a week, and both are normal.

Re nipples, DS1 thinks I feed Fraser from my tummy. He tried to feed his dolly the other day, with a crayon. Don't think she got much milk out of that..

Feeling better now, my neighbour came with her daughter (10) and helped at bath time (DS1 loves her), then I had a bath, DH has cooked fishfingers for tea (my request - he can do other stuff including beef wellington). Still knackered so won't be up much longer...

Homestart sounds great. Could do with it myself!

Oh Mandaz I'm so sorry about all of that.

Claire - LOL at DS1
May want to at least think about birth control ... I had forgotten that it takes four weeks to become effective. Understand where you're coming from though. I think I just had no drive for so, so long that I'm up for it now, even through the sleep deprivation ... but now it's DH feeling so tired he just can't. At the very least we're going to Grand Cayman next April, though I would hope things wouldn't take that long to get back to normal with us.

Unfortunately, my turn for grousing. I needed a beer after today and I'm drinking it now. Went to pick up my car & found out the other 3 tires are down to the treads and it's basically unsafe for me to be driving around on them so they need to be replaced ASAP - at 100 GBP per tire. Meanwhile the manicotti has burned - the first time I've ever burned anything in my life. It was a ready-made meal for people like me who can't cook so you'd think they'd have made it easier to re-heat. DH is working on a high-pressure deal with the tougest people to negotiate with in the entire US, a situation that could last until way past Christmas and he's extremely stressed. Having two children was overwhelming today - DS1 EXTREMELY needy. Anyone else's 3-year old ask you the same question over and over and over?? And yes, it still bothers me that I'm wearing maternity clothes while a whole closet sits untouched for over a year.
Okay ... I'm done. Thanks for listening.

Marls, we are here to listen! Hope today is better. I am hoping for a better day here, it can't be much worse...

DS1 in nursery, and went happily today because Daddy was taking him. DS2 is now in his cot asleep, or at least not crying anyway. Forgot to say yesterday he was 10lb 8oz on Tuesday, so he's not putting on the huge number of ounces that some are - but a lb in 2 weeks isn't bad! At least we are edging towards the miraculous figure of 12lb.. and hopefully a full night's sleep...

Hope you all have a good day.