March 2013- the one where plonk gets married!

[Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife]

Perilously close to filling the old thread suddenly!

Sorry all, I was on call!

So A&E....I have removed an orange (surprisingly difficult), an ice cream scoop, an ornamental clock, a remote control and the lid of a deodorant can from people's bums. The list of excuses are all very similar and include falls of various types and this doesn't include the guy who really did fall off a stepladder onto a small bush and get impaled on a branch. Ouchy. I've also removed a mobile phone from a woman's vagina and while I was talking to her her idiot boyfriend was ringing her as it was on vibrate

I've also seen some pretty gruesome stuff and some pretty awesome stuff and one took someone's sock off and found some toes in it and this doesn't even touch on the delights of a labour ward! Fun fun fun

So glad the cat's out of the bag Eco as I hope it will help you get the support you need to come out the other side of this. Go you for taking the first step on the journey to next!

Betty I am so easily shocked. Have friends who've worked in a&e and tell a terrible tale about which you gas first when a man comes in with his dog...

What do SAHMs do all day? Good grief. What don't they do?

Eco I hope you're feeling lighter for talking, and that it's a step towards a happier you. I've been known to be a bit, erm, ambitious with what I can achieve with a toddler in tow. More fool me, but it's either dragging him about everywhere and creating lots of stress, or looking at every. single. leaf. I still find the sling great for a back carrying stomp about, and I'm hoping to do it more now the weathers cooler. Is it completely off the cards for you now?
I hope the childminder works out. You can't judge your well being by bank balance alone, these things are worth forking out for IMHO.

Speaking of, I'm considering increasing ds's nursery hours. I have too much to do in my pitiful 18 hour working week. But my word, the guilt at even thinking it. I really don't enjoy our post nursery afternoons at the moment, and I think I'd rather spend that time writing blogs and playing with my camera, or going to the gym seeing as I've utterly lapsed.

Doli the shit days have a habit of smacking you right between the eyes, don't they? I might've screamed a bit this morning before locking myself in the kitchen with a tub of peanut butter and a dessert spoon. Could be worse I suppose, we could have 'fallen' on highly unlikely objects and lied about them.

My day was spent doing household chores. I didn't manage to get down to Wilkos to buy a hole punch - my one real job for the day - but I did rearrange my lounge. Looks better now.

Betty a phone?! I hope she got a new handset afterwards. But from the sound of the partner I'd put money on her just giving it a wipe.

Eco you've done the hard part, which is identify there's a problem and take steps to fix it. I think you'll be surprised how much the childminder will help. One day feels like such a long time when you are used to measuring your free time in minutes. It'll be money well spent.

It'll get easier from now on, I promise. Now the weather has turned and walks have become more pleasant, the first thing I do on a nursery day is take dog2 for a proper muddy walk. Dog1 is far too sensible to have anything to do with such folly, and prefers to stay at home monitoring the fox situation in the garden, but his loss. Fresh air and freedom. The best medicine!

Betty I'm lost for words!

I'm off to bed now, although I may just go and gaze at a sleeping toddle for a while. Thinking about it scrap what I said earlier. Fresh air and freedom is the second best medicine. Baby/toddle gazing comes first.

Oh my betty. I am not sure what to say.

eco i think the childminder option is a great one and will make a big difference. I value my wednesday afternoons when I finish work early and ds is still at nursery. I do my cleaning,cooking, food shopping and a coffee whilst out. It is fab. I did my food shop in 15mins without a toddler.amazing. I hope your sister spoils you today.

plonky I am sure you have told me before not to feel guilty for having some me time while ds is in nursery. Now I am going to tell you. Toddlers make less of a fuss when at nursery or perhaps they deal with it better than us. Once they see mummy they know how to play us. I am sure ds will love to spend more time at nursery playing away with his friends.

Wow, quiet weekend here!

Yummy having spoken to DH about it I've decided to heed my own advice and just go for the extra nursery time.

I am feeling very spoiled. Yesterday the Somethings covered me in pulled pork and today I was allowed to have a lie in. It's my birthday tomorrow but DH will be at work so we're having low key celebrations today. When I say low key, I seriously mean it. A sainsburys two for £10 lunch and a few chocs later on I think.

Plonky sounds like a lovely weekend to me. Great that you're upping your nursery hours and hopefully downing the expectation about what you might be able to achieve in the given time. Birthday fun tomorrom then? Lovely. Have a super day. I hope you get to have fun with your blonde boy.

Doli those unwelcome micro sleeps screw us over as well. Why can't they just realise they're still tired and be bloody flexible. It really impacts the timing of activities day to day here. Which sounds ridiculous really. Sleeping babies are lush, I agree. You'll have a whole new one soon

Yummy your Wednesday afternoon sounds manic. Maybe you should take the Gerry approach and ensure some baby free time is for you?

Betty yikes a doodle! A phone? Yuck. That doesn't mean to say I think any of the other items are acceptable. They are not.

I dragged Ecotod off to my sister's yesterday. Am recently returned. She was more hands on than usual which was good. I also got one and a half bonus baby free hours this morning when they all took her for a walk and left me to craft. Bliss.

I know some of you guys have had very poorly babies in the past but we've been lucky really. Until yesterday. I've never seen her more poorly. If I'd have been home alone I'd have imploded with worry. She was sick on the journey (I think on retrospect travel sickness), went limp, couldn't keep eyes open at non nap time when she had previously slept well, cried a low level moan, wouldn't stand, wouldn't smile or talk, wouldn't eat. I gave her calpol and cuddled her on my lap for a couple of hours watching Disney (robin Hood something) and then she just got up, said 'more' which means food and ate a mega meal. She's been a bit grouchy but not the same again since. No clue what that was all about. She had a fever too. Odd. And worrying in my already anxious state. Sister very reassuring and stayed with me. I'd previously had a bit of a breakdown on her when I arrived so it was all high drama. During evening, nap and walk I got loads of dh scrapbook done though and having a focus was useful. But I'm exhausted and in bed now.

I'm not going anywhere overnight for eleven days now. So some calm will descend hopefully. I feel like cancelling everything!
Happy Sunday everyone. I'm loving the new, cooler, sunny weather. Beautiful.

Aww poor ecotoddle. It is heartbreaking and scary seeing them ill. All i can recommend is calpol and cuddles for her. Wine and chocolate for you. If she hasn't improved maybe see the gp tomorrow.I think this change of weather has a lot to answer for. Me and ds have the sniffles. Ds is trying hard not to be grouchy. I wonder if our nursery accepts babies with a cold.

Eco you are right about Wednesday afternoon being just for me but this week a friend came over for a playdate and I needed to clean/tidy. This week will be for me hopefully.

So today i arranged for some cousins/friends round for a gather. I cooked lots of food and cheesecake and guess what? They cancelled one by one. No more guests over. Upside is I have food for dinner tomorrow.

Hope you are all having a good weekend.

plonky happy birthday for tomorrow.

You know, I never thought I'd be actively glad not to have a car, but now I'm seeing they cause mini naps that wreck days, I'm glad Fartypants gets a four wheeled excursion on average once a month.

We did have a day that started with a five today though. Ouch, and kudos to those of you who frequently see such disturbing clock displays. Resistance at bedtime is on the up again too. She goes to bed, it's all quiet for a few minutes, then she starts chatting to the toys in the cot. I leave it a while before going up, to give her chance to get the inevitable poo out. Finally go up to find Fartypants standing in cot, room lit by light coming through the wonky curtains where she's been saying goodnight to the world, and the entire menagerie on the floor. Fartypants looks innocent; clearly it's nothing to do with her that five bears, two bunnies, a giraffe, a monkey, and a pig all decided to make a break for freedom at the same time. And she couldn't possibly go to bed until they've all been tucked back into bed. And then it's time to clean up a great big stinker. Every bloomin' night. I'm getting a wee bit tired of it.

Stormy fear not - the toy throwing poo party will end soon. DD was doing just that for an age but seems to have stopped now. She just yells and points at the bookcase now to try and get another story. And then another. And another. But at least the menagerie of furry creatures stays put

This is why we have stories downstairs before going up to bed. Books while in bed are never allowed to end, otherwise she gets very cross.

On the plus side, spoon work is improving. She pinched the spoon at breakfast after a few mouthfuls, and proceeded to clear the bowl, with minimal attempts to throw it. I am impressed!

Happy birthday plonky! Hope you have a great day.

stormy if your DD poops every night like clockwork at bedtime why not stick her on the potty and encourage her to do it before you put her night nappy on? You might as well take advantage of her regularity! Works with DD at various points in the day when she would otherwise go in her nappy.

eco hope the family help and the crafting is bringing some light into your world. I highly recommend going to find your nearest blackberries and get picking with your little one for some outdoor therapy. The blackberries seem to be ripening early in our part of the world.

Why have I seen leaves on the floor in August? Very strange. Autumn has come early.

Me and ds are laying in bed with a cold. Ds is coping a lot better than I am. He looks well enough to go nursery but he has dire rear again and they have 48hr policy. This seems to coincide with teething.

stormy stick with it. The poop routine may be different by then of the week.

Happy birthday Plonky! Hope you're getting those cuddles.

I booked to see gp on Wednesday. I couldn't figure out what to cook for lunch with friends today and it made me feel anxious and stressed and hassled. That's wrong. Hence my call to doctor. I wonder if 17 months post partum is classed as postnatal depression.

I'm going to wake my girl and go find some blackberries. Good tip rainbow.

Stormy, I am going to invent some sort of cuddly toy lead that fixes to Ecotod and that won't strangle her. When I've perfected it I'll send you one.

I'll send you some brambles in exchange, eco. The bush in our front garden suddenly has loads of fruit. Had one crumble already.

Unfortunately, Fartypants isn't mega keen on actually sitting on the potty. Which is a bugger, because her poos have taken a turn for the really solid these past few days and they're not easy to pass while standing up. Will bear it in mind though.

Apparently weather wise we're due to finish the summer with a couple of searing hot weeks. Not sure precisely when though. Tonight I'm thinking of going back to the 2.5tog sleeping bag.

eco can I offer another dino-hug?

stormy no advice (as per) but solidarity sister. I think I'd actually prefer a bedtime poo if it was in any way a perverse guarantee of a post 5am wake up call. But both? That's, quite literally, shit.

I think the less said of my birthday the better. It hasn't been a particularly good one. It involved a lot of pantry time and peanut butter.

Eco have another cyber hug from me. How are the blackberries round your way? I really must get my arse in gear and grab a few from the garden before the birds have them all. They're pretty good this year, plenty for all, feathered and bald.

Plonky birthdays can be a bit like that I think, well after the age of 21 that is. Did the peanut butter help?! I'm still waiting to reacquire a taste for it. Most of the weird morning sickness cravings have gone, but I still can't stomach peanut butter or oatcakes. Most odd.

Speaking of odd, things are very odd round here. Afternoon naps are up the swanny, well and truly. Two days in a row she battled through until 3.30pm, and yesterday was absolutely full of energy until 5pm, at which point she fell asleep, literally face first in her dinner. It was funny . Today, a nap happened, briefly. V briefly. It's almost like she's decided sleep is for wimps.

Stormy sympathy on the poo front. I bet two years ago you'd have never thought your evening schedule would be dictated by another's bowels . I have a poo question myself (sorry). Does weetabix do anything untoward in that department? I think someone mentioned a while back it did. It's just that the Toddle's recent agreement to eat weetabix for breakfast has coincided with the world's most disgusting nappies ever. I guess it's better than her previous tendency to constipation, but all the same, urghhh.

Yes Doli! Weetabix nappies are absolutely vile. Bleugh.

Happy Birthday Plonky

Eco i'll be interested in what the GP says on Weds - I hope it helps to get it off your chest and in the hands of someone who can help. I had a wobbly day today with a few shouty moments (me, not DD) and as your post resonated with me so closely, I may have to make my own appointment...

Hugs to all who need them

Cue exaggeration but I feel sooooooo ill. I thought it was just sniffles but it's the flu. I can't take ds to nursery so I can crawl back into bed because he still has dire rear but he is well in himself.

Someone in the feminist pub on here said something yesterday that may make some of you feel marginally better - for intelligent women, depression is a natural response to living under patriarchy. There may be something in that.

Anyone else love seeing their home on telly? We're watching Neighbourhood Blues on BBC1 at the moment. First story on it had the police sniffing round to locate which house is growing weed. Fartypants looks intrigued; she recognises our street. I'm just grinning at the poor sods thinking there's only one grow to find - if my nose is any judge there are at least three.

Yummy hope you feel better soon. Is there anyone who can watch ds for you?

Stormy that's an interesting POV. Not one where you can easily say hell yes or Jesus no, I think I may be pondering on that for some time. What was the general consensus?

Right, all you ladies who work freelance or are otherwise self employed, or have experience of either...what exactly do I need to do to be self employed? I'm an aloof arty farty type. Good for business, bad for my relationship with the tax man.

Nods of agreement, but it wasn't discussed in depth. Someone's counsellor had said it to them. Definitely one to ponder on. Obviously living under patriarchy isn't the sole cause of depression, that's far too simplistic. But I can see some truth in it looking at our experiences here. The SAHM thing being expected of us, but the reality of it getting us all down, for example.

Plonky I set up work email address, got professional indemnity insurance (though you won't need that I guess as you not advising people), public liability insurance, got a business bank account with Barclays free for first year and registered with hmrc on line. It takes a while to get that all done. I am clueless myself though! I also set up a basic cash book and invoice template. In haste!

Stormy I'd not argue with that perspective. There is a reason why married men are happier than single men, and married women more depressed than single, and I'd say it has an awful lot to do with the sheer drudgery of being the one who is expected to bear responsibility for literally everything at home.

I was f-ing depressed when I first got married. Couldn't believe that the supposedly caring, responsible man I married wouldn't so much as lift a finger at home unless I nagged him for 3 days, and then it became me being unreasonable and him feeling martyred for being nagged. It still grates on me to this day.

We've reached an equilibrium, he earns, I do almost everything at home but have walked away from gardening duties, and he has to spend time with the Toddle, change her nappy, and generally parent, although not cook for her or wash her clothes.

When he gives up work for good this equilibrium will have to change or by default he'll end up living his life like he is in a hotel, and I'll be staff.

It makes me wish I had a boy so I could instil some sense of domestic responsibility in him from an early age and make sure any future DIL had a happier marriage than so many women today.

Oh, and that's before we even start on discrimination outside the home! Perhaps I should join the feminist board. Although on second thoughts perhaps not, given I am a SAHM who gave up a career, that had required years of study and hard graft, without any thought, for a man!!!

Plonky I'm kind of relieved to know the nappy situation has a logical explanation.... although I may be varying her breakfast a little more from now on

Those of you feeling down, I'm thinking of you. I've been there, it's hard, but the best way to manage things, and the way that worked for me is to take control of things. It's that spiralling feeling of my life being completely out of control that takes me down. I find breaking things down, to identify what it is I'm not dealing with, and then trying to find some way of managing each thing on the list really helps. It's a step in the right direction anyway, although obviously some things on the list aren't immediately fixable.