March 2013 - we're gonna need a bigger wine rack

[Plonkysaurus]

Ta da!

Just my personal opinion, and you're all of course free to disagree, but I think that a baby should carry the name of the person who grew it and brought it into the world. I can't imagine carrying a child and not giving it my name.

Ds has DP's surname because the deal always was that one day I'd have that surname too.

I definitely don't want to just keep my maiden name. I don't agree that a girls name is her fathers and her married name is her husbands, that's just stupid. My name is my own and it's up to me whether I keep the name I've always had, mesh it with dp's to make a new name to reflect our marriage, or take his name because, well why not?

My problem is what the name is. It's a silly name.

Neither of the meshed names I can think of sound that great either. So would DsoontobeH be happy to change his name?

My eldest niece has her father's name for the same reason. They intended to be married and both sharing his name before having kids, she got pregnant before they'd set a date, and she'd already spent six hundred quid on the dress so wasn't prepared to get married in a different dress that would encompass her bump. Sounds fine to me, although she says now that she wishes she'd kept her name, because it was hers.

plonk it was that wedding yes, although I only went for the afternoon and am currently on my second now so as tempting as a night with you sounds, I can't justify drink driving for it

DS has DP's surname because of the same reason Plonk said; one day so will I. It never crossed my mind to give him my surname and although I don't think I, or my name, belong to anyone other than me, it's never crossed my mind that I wouldnt take DP's name. That's what we're all happy with

DP came back a day early off his stag do. AIBU to be somewhat slightly peeved to lose out on my DP/DS-less night and morning to myself and wish he had just bloody stayed out? I mean...I love him but...I was so looking forward to my night of nothing.

Why did he come back early Summert? I'd be very cross if dp returned now, I'm curled up in bed with a cuppa and a mug and expect to be asleep within the hour! Silly dawn waking baby making mummy grumpy.

Doli seems tough to make Mr Nice Personal Trainer go away, he seems like a good sort after all he's helped you with. Any chance of future p-ting with him?

Running wise I'm most thrilled - I can run a mile without stopping now! Not a quick mile, but it's still a mile. Spending next Saturday in a spa with Dm and DSis (and my kindle while they both have uber long expensive treatments). Cannot wait.

A mile! Nice one! I don't think I could manage a hundred feet without stopping to cough up a lung.

I took dh surname. I like it. it gives me the shortest name ever. People assume I'm Chinese. I'm not. I kept my original name for work purposes as I've been known as that in publications and with other organisations and it's helpful to be remembered. I also have the Christian name that's on all my official documents, birth certificate etc. In conclusion I never know who I am and when call centre staff ask me my name it throws me. They then think I'm a weirdo. Complicated!
Plonky I quite like C G D. It sounds like a character who is a debutante doing 'the season'

C G D does flow well, yes. Not double barrelled, just two surnames. I quite like that. But I'd like it best if all three of you had those two surnames. If Plonky is C G D, but DH is T G and DS is G D, it sort of separates her from them. You could all legally have the same two surnames, but decide for yourselves whether to use one or both in general day to day life.

Whoops, if DS is G G, I meant.

Ds is GG, and dp really doesn't want to change his name (and I see that as his prerogative, just as this choice is mine). I'll likely become Mrs G, it's just going to take some getting used to.

Lovely day here so we're going for a walk in a very fine park before dp gets home. But ds has slightly scuppered my plans by going for a nap at 8.15am! I should probably take the opportunity to have a shower.

Is anyone else suddenly finding it way easier to get them down for naps? I let him grumble with tiredness for about 10 mins and then he's banana-ing and whining and goes down so easily. Making life that little bit easier.

plonky I think you will get used to it. There will come a time when you won't even think about the name change.

I have 101 things to do today. Im working the whole week this week so need to do meal plans for the week and be extra organised. I hope I survive the week. I haven't worked full time since I was pregnant.

The weather is lovely so im sure we will sneak in a walk in the park.

plonky I think they are finally realising when they need to sleep. Ds slept through til 5.30am. Amazing.

Good luck with your full time week yummy, let us know how it goes, still terrified of the idea if this promotion happens for me probably should actually apply at some point

I'll be honest and say that I didn't really want to change my name, no real reason just felt like I was losing some identity. However, my desire not to change wasn't as big as the hassle I'd get from my in laws, and I just couldn't be bothered with it. They already see me as a dangerous liberal (have made it clear dd will not go to boarding school, pick them up on their casual racism, think maybe poverty isn't due to laziness, you know, radical stuff like that) the feminist issues around name changing was a battle I just decided not to fight. It took me another year to change my name at work, I was concerned that I would get a nickname with "horrible" put in front of my surname. Then I kept getting confused about what I was supposed to be calling myself, so changed it there too. Kids probably do call me horrible, but I don't really care anymore.

I could get used to this morning shift thing, especially as dd was up at 5.30 this morning and it was dh's turn. I got up at 8.30, what a treat! In typical lazy Sunday morning style he's gone back to bed while she has a nap and I'm enjoying a very peaceful cuppa :)

Morning all!

We took DD and DDog to the park this morning to get DD to nap and instead she demanded to get out and because we were expected her to just drop off she was in a sleepsuit and no shoes but get out she did.....and then had a roll in the muddy grass while wrestling with the dog over a ball. They do love a mini-adventure don't they?

Plonky I kept my name at work and changed it at home and I quite like my dual identity. It means I'm Dr NameOne and Mrs NameTwo and I have a passport in one and driving license in the other. It took me bloody ages to get used to being Mrs NameTwo and I still get it wrong sometimes but it was the right thing for me and us. DD is as much DHs child as she is mine and he has as much right as I do to have the same name as her and I like us all having the same name. I think it's completely right that names could be changed either way but for a man to change his name to his wife's is a massive statement and would bring a lot of comment and explanation. It shouldn't be like that but it is and I think it takes a very strong person that really wants to make a statement and can be arsed with the fight. I guess I'm lucky that it's not a decision I had to make!! If I were you I might go for CDG but not double barrel and then you can choose to use the whole thing or just CG on a day to day basis.

Yummy we had 5.30 too! We'll make sleepers of them yet! Good luck this week. It'll fly by and I'm sure by the end of it you'll realise it was easier than you thought it would be but probably not something you want to do every week! That's how I felt when I did 48hrs the other week.

Something how was the wedding? I was at an evening do last night and had a bottle of wine and 3 G&Ts so this morning I have sore feet and a sore head! It was worth it though, I love a good wedding boogie!

I changed my name, and I have to say it was such a complete PITA what with all the sending off of the marriage cert to various places, waiting for it to come back, re-sending it and filling of forms. If I live my life again I really wouldn't bother. The reason I did bother originally was that dsis didn't, and I lost count of the number of people who rang me up to ask what to call her, as they had no clue whether she was Mrs or a Ms, or a double barrelled, or still a Miss and I figured I could do without the confusion.

I also didn't like my own surname. It has one syllable, my first name has two, and whenever I introduced myself in formal circumstance such as work people used to run all three syllables together and think that was my first name. It was funny the first time. Then it got boring.

Plonky I won't lose touch with Mr PT man, he's a friend for life, and will be the toddle's godparent if we decide to christen her. He also does driving days with DH, so won't be vanishing into the ether any time soon. I'm just a bit sad to say good bye to the weekly chat with neutral bloke, who is practically a girl, so knows how to give advice, nicely!

Right, speech, be honest with me here. We have absolutely no speech what so ever other than babble, no pointing, and I swear that she is either a bit deaf or she doesn't know her name. 80% of the time she doesn't react, and the other 20% could just be coincidence. Should I be worried? Her motor skills are good, she can walk, run, pick up tiny objects, but speech and response seem very slow.

doli, don't worry about the ignoring you when you say her name. Toddlers are good at selective deafness. Does she respond to other sounds? Pointing, again, I wouldn't worry just yet. It's only in the past few days that Fartypants has started pointing at things, before that she'd sort of flail one arm in the general direction of whatever had caught her attention. No words is also nothing to worry about. There are a lot of stages they go through when learning to talk, and babbling is one of them. She'll get there when she's ready, and at the moment she's too young for a lack of words to be indicative of anything other than the fact she's not an early talker.

DD will give kisses if asked to now. It is possibly the most adorable thing I've ever experienced.

Thank you all for sharing your name changes/keepses. I'm erring on the side of changing it to Mrs G for simplicity's sake, but it's going to take awhile to stop being Miss G. I considering Mrs C D G, but that still leaves me with some awful initials (CJD).

Doli remember when you lot all had crawling babies, and babysaurus and wottababy still weren't even interested in rolling over by Christmas? I got very anxious about it. Everything I read said crawling happens between 6-9 months. An HV put us on a schedule, which only made me feel worse. And then he just did it. Two weeks later he was trying to pull himself up.

If she wasn't babbling I'd be concerned. It's worth noting your suspicions that she may have some hearing loss, but if she does it's clear it's not profound. Ds is great at responding to his name but still throws a deaf un about half the time when I call to him. She'll probably just do it in her own good time, but if you're really concerned call your HV.
Glad to hear mr pt is just ttfn not ttfg. We need people like that in our lives!

Ds's morning nap lasted a whole ten minutes. We had a lovely long walk inthe sun though, a now dp's home I get the joy of mowing the garden. Will this pleasure never end!

doli I wouldn't be too worried. I know there is a 2 yr check which may mean that all the things toddlers are supposed to would be around that age so that is when referrals would be made to the appropriate people if you are still concerned about dd not responding to you. Perhaps she is just being rebellious. Babbling is a good sign.

we don't really have pointing we just have arms flailing about and fake crying when ds wants something.

we had a lovely walk in the most amazing park. I forgot I was in London for a while. eco I remembered you goi g on our nature walk. Ds fell into a bush and it had to be stinging nettles.ouch. Now a pile of ironing awaits me. Such a wonderful life.

Doli the NHS guidelines are that you should have a few words by 18months and that they should be able to follow simple instructions by then. DD ignores her name around 80% of the time but responds to sounds such as singing, dog barking, clapping, banging pans etc. does your DD respond to other sounds? If not then take her to the GP for a hearing check just to reassure you. I'm sure it's fine as she's babbling and still on the young side for words but it's horrible when these things niggle away at you! It's only the last fortnight that DD had suddenly starting understanding simple instructions and with that has come clearer words. These things often just come all of a sudden! I think DD's going to have a lisp. She only has a couple of words but all s sounds end and all d sounds are made with her tongue between her teeth, the same as DH when he was wee. It's a silly thing to worry about but worry I do and I also can't help comparing her to other babies the same age that have much more advanced speech. It's so tough not to compare!

DD is currently having her tea in front of the TV while I feel sorry for my hungover self on the sofa. Not a top parenting moment I fear!

Haha betty
Late to the party but I haven't changed my name yet. Now I have DS I will do though. No big statement. I just want to have the same name as my child.

We are on holiday! so may be quiet this week.
plonk hope the wedding planning going ok. I didn't get stressed until about 36 hours before and that was for reasons out of my control.

Can't remember everything else! eco it's June now...are you down sarf soon???
Happy sangria Sunday ladies!

Hello from the bath. We've had a 'get home and have all hands on deck clean of house' session so feel satisfied as I lie here. Earlier today we were at a christening in Worksop (Something and Plonky I thought I could smell you both vaguely so waved in case I was in the vaguest vicinity). I was responsible for the photography which was fun. I was let loose in church and appreciated the event more by paying close attention to the details. It's a shame that there will be no photos of Ecotod and I. We looked like something from the early fifties! I had a full skirted, fitted bodice, print frock on and baby had on pale yellow and white smocked dress with matching knickers and white socks (and chubbly legs). Cute I reckon! It was only by chance....the dress was only non jeans outfit that fastened up around my ribcage/boobs post baby. Lots of driving this weekend as we were at sister/dads last night. It was a rare one where everything flowed nicely and I felt like we were in a happy scene from a cheesy Richard Curtis film. Very lovely. My sister, nieces and I headed to the church to see mum at sunset and it was lovely. Then had a nice session with my old man going through mum's jewellery box and reminiscing. A rare few hours of the planets aligning to make all eight in the family satisfied and in good humour. Does anyone else have older relatives who exclaim at your offspring's amazing talents when there's nothing remarkable about them? Almost as if they've forgotten when kids do stuff. Sweet really.

Yummy your park adventure sounds like a necessary learning point for ds, hopefully he won't do that again. Good luck this week. Sounds hardcore.

Doli I'd not be worried myself unless she was showing no signs of hearing at all. Startling at the dogs barking for example. Speech will come in time would be my mantra. We've only had ' mummy' used correctly in context today. It all seems very sporadic here. What did you go for flooring wise by the way? I'll hopefully have a hovel to replan soon and the expanse of kitchen floor needs something so looking for something to inspire a cheap offshoot idea!

Shattered it's the week with June 17 in that we're supposed to be in Dorset. I saw supposed as we are expecting a completion date on our move to be thrown in our direction any day and dear for our holiday as a result. I'll keep you posted. You anywhere nice?

Plonky the lawn mowing is just the start of the bliss. Much more excitement like that around the corner. In less than two months! Have you purchased your foundation garments yet? I mention that because I wore my wedding undies today again for first time since wedding. Underwiring! How very daring of me.

Phone app is back for me which is great but means I am going from memory and it's exhausted now. Hello everyone else. What a lovely sunny day it's been

The power of MN is a wonderful thing. I have gone from niggling doubt to reassured in the space of an afternoon, so thank you everyone . I'm sure she's fine, but then I go and look at all the men in DH's family and I think, oh h*ll, genetics are most unfortunate things. Every single one of them is ASD of greater or lesser degree so I'm hoping she is entirely her mother's child

Eco your outfit sounds gorgeous. I wish I could pull off such a look! Fingers crossed one of the other guests got some photos of you and Ecotod.

Floor? Ah well we're still at the theoretic stage, what with the roof being not quite there, and even less so since one of the guys caught one of the roof panes with a drill, and smashed it. In all honesty, it's like a Laurel and Hardy film out there! I'm not sure the tile option would work though. Too much red. The grey screed is actually not a bad colour, so stone slabs are looking increasingly likely.

Tis bedtime now, and someone is not tired, so I'm bracing myself for a long evening. It's not all bad though, as once she stops fighting sleep she does largely sleep through. 11 hours last night. High five for dolitoddle!!!

Doli dear, reread your first paragraph. The men in DH's family tend towards the ASD. Is dolitoddle now or ever likely to be a man? I have no idea why, but it's more common in males than females.

We've just had a two hour bedtime fiasco for the second night running. I kept wanting to scream. "FFS, child, stop throwing everything you need for sleep out of the cot, stop dragging things through the bars into the cot, leave the bloody curtains alone, lie down, and go the fuck to sleep!" I figured that would be counterproductive, so I took her some milk and read her GTFTS instead.

Anywhere naice Shattered?

Betty ds just had breakfast in front of the TV. I just cba with the highchair faff this morning, and the kitchens a mess so laziness won. Feeling any more human today?

Eco sounds like you had a lovely day, and with a lovely outfit too! I once fell asleep on the bus after school and ended up in Worksop. Interesting place did the mortgage come through in the end, or are you expecting to be in the fun position of sold home but not yet but another? How's the job hunt coming along?

Not yet found my foundation layer. I expect great big control pants, but no bra because there's one built in to my dress. Oooh I'm itching to see my dress again, mums been tweaking it this weekend.

Doli glad you're feeling better. Does she dance to music? The communication thing is interesting. I think ds being slow to get up and go meant his communication developed quicker than I anticipated - immobility meant he naturally seems more interested in people than exploring. Fwiw I know ds is saying dog and cat, and der with pointing means there. But to everyone else it sounds like do! And ga! Babble really.

Your builders aren't making a comedy are they? They sound a bit Monty Python to me.

Got up with ds this morning, changed his nappy and discovered...it was bone dry. I'm now worrying that he's horribly dehydrated, but he drank 7 flozzes before bed last night. Hmph.

doli DD has been very slow physically compared to most here with everything, rolling, crawling and now walking which she has only just started to show early signs of. All babies develop at different rates and have different preferences. DD has very obviously selective deafness in that she grins and turns her head away deliberately when she doesn't want to hear instructions!

stormy we selected a double barrel name for both DH and I with my surname at the end purely because we wanted DD1 to have a bit of us in her name. Wouldn't have been my preference but felt right at the time. Means DD2 has a handful of a name but again just felt right. When we married we agreed that if we wanted the same name as children we would both be prepared to change, whether his to mine or mine to his or a mesh and would see what felt right. We still us our own names professionally and in most other circumstances so the change is pretty symbolic anyway.

betty the problem with making decisions to try and avoid massive statements or upsetting people is we would never have progress - those early female pioneers getting us the vote and out of the kitchen made massive statements so it makes me and DH feel humbled to make even a tiny statement to support equality. The problem about people saying that every woman has a choice whether to change their name and theoretically every guy has too is the massive cultural pressure to select the father's name for both child and wife. Whether we like to admit it to admit it or not our choices are only as real as our culture allows even if they feel real as statistics show, whether it be name change, housework or childcare or ability to advance career.

eco love the sound of your dress! I really need to update my wardrobe for my new figure and also breastfeeding friendliness. Some our my recent outfits have been stupidly baggy and misshapen which does not do me any favours. You have inspired me to go get a beautiful dress to enjoy!

Our new word for the day yesterday was car, yelled at the top of her voice at every singly vehicle passing by accompanied by manic waving and saying bye bye. Kept her busy all afternoon so managed to get lots of lovely gardening done which was handy and very cute to watch.