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November 2012 - Spring is here, time to get our babies out and about.

999 replies

StuntNun · 12/03/2014 09:16

Apart from the 'down under' contingent anyway!

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2011361-November-2012-Walking-or-not-walking-talking-or-not-talking-any-other-skillz

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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14
ChasingDaisy · 18/03/2014 09:24

Oh VQ Sad I just want to wrap Valiumcastle up in a protective bubble.

Zamboni, that sounds awful Sad I really don't know how you cope. I too have shouted at O when he hits out or is getting on my last nerve You more than deserve a break, and the whole family will benefit from at least one member being well rested Thanks

I burned my hand on the oven last night and it bloody hurts this morning. Is there anything I can put on it or should I just let it heal itself?

Sophiathesnowfairy · 18/03/2014 09:30

Ha ha ha ha Grin brilliant.

Cakes look Delish. Will they be decorated?

So as a result I have one redundant stick in box with instructions. Who is contemplating going for number two, who wants it? You might as well, save a few pennies and it feels a bit wasteful to chuck it. ( is only a basic one btw)

Sophiathesnowfairy · 18/03/2014 09:31

Sudacream chasing

PurplePidjin · 18/03/2014 09:31

GT I'd be pissed off too - Ikea here has a screened off area of the cafe for bfing so you can have your coffee and cake in peace while you do it!

What's wrong with showing a child that deliberate hitting makes you cross? It's unacceptable to hit, so I tell R off. Shouting at accidents is not great parenting, but showing anger at deliberate naughtiness just stops them doing it again, surely? Confused (ignore me if you like, I have odd views on parenting Wink)

and tries not to mention that R is still asleep, I left the monitor off last night and afaik he slept through

PurplePidjin · 18/03/2014 09:32

Yeah but was the first one + or - Sophia?????

YellowWellies · 18/03/2014 09:41

Pidj I wish shouting stopped him doing things! Not my free spirit.... gah god knows what will tame him? The army? I've been trying not to roar at him for standing up in the high chair and spinning around alllllllll breakfast! Envy Time to put the high chair away.

FatimaLovesBread · 18/03/2014 09:41

I'll join in the group hug

I feel shit, I seem to have lost all motivation, my whole body just feels heavy and useless. Not sure if I'm coming down with something or if it's my anxiety having a couple of down days. Supposed to be doing so much with my days off but I've only just got out of bed despite being awake since 7am.

zamboni sympathies! I have done similar. Nights with M seem to be really testing at the moment, wakes ups and refusal to go back to sleep. She also likes to get v het up and lash out if I try get her to sleep or say no.

Linked in with that her multiple requests for boobie in the night are doing my head it. I'm not sure how to go about stopping it. She doesn't need it but sometimes with the performances it's easier to give in.

((Hugs)) VQ, poor you and J. It seems to be one thing after another for you, I don't know how you do it, you're awesome!

Glad you got your phone back pidg

Zamboni · 18/03/2014 09:46

Thanks all.

I agree in showing them something is unacceptable PP, and not hiding emotions from DC. But I shouted because I lost my cool, I wasn't angry in a firm, controlled parental demonstration of the unacceptability of something.

PetiteRaleuse · 18/03/2014 09:49

No soph they are just going in like that - they prefer cakes to be as simple and mess free as possible, so I will put candles on the flat round one and that will do. Neither of them rose particularly well but at least I can blame the packet mix and not my whisking skills.

I'm going to bake a proper cake this afternoon for after nursery. Or I might go to the baker's and get a strawberry tart

PetiteRaleuse · 18/03/2014 09:51

Losing your cool is a normal reaction too though. OK it's not ideal, and soon our toddlers will find us losing our cool quite an amusing goal, but I honestly wouldn't feel guilty about shouting. It's not like you are shouting all day every day. You know you are showing them plenty of love and warmth and that shouting is the exception, not the norm. So don't beat yourself up about it.

MsJupiter · 18/03/2014 10:05

Zamboni I also find myself shouting at L more often than I'd like. I'm not really sure how to handle it when he repeatedly does something he's been told not to. He does a lot of pulling my hair and hitting me - he doesn't really do it to anyone else. So I try to say calmly but firmly no, that hurts mummy. But he does it again and again. It happened yesterday during nappy changing, he grabbed my hair really hard on purpose and laughed. So I took his hand away and said ow! That hurts mummy. Did it again. Repeat. Looks sad, goes for a hug, then when I hug him I see his face changing and he does it again. So I shout and feel like a shit parent as I am obviously getting this all wrong if he wants to keep doing it. I feel quite ashamed to admit it.

Does anyone else have this? What do you do?

TheDetective · 18/03/2014 10:06

Shouting is just a fact of life.

When O wallops me it's my normal reaction. I haven't found a way around that one yet Hmm it fecking hurts.

I know others have had really shit nights but I need to talk about O's night on a 'was it a reaction' and nothing else.

He woke multiple times. None required resettling. He woke at 6.50 for the day.

Usually he doesn't wake at all and a start before 7.30-8 is unusual.

Last time we had similar, except the difference this time is that he can self settle at wakings. So we don't have to get up to him.

So I conclude this is likely to be a reaction, yes?

Or is it teeth? If it was teeth he would be more distressed and less likely to self settle surely?

I fucking hate this. How are you supposed to know whether they are okay or not? I am petrified of breaking him. Hmm

PetiteRaleuse · 18/03/2014 10:14

I think they do it with us more than other people as they know they can. It's an affectionate thing really - they don't realise they are hurting us but enjoy the reaction. It's playful, though is starting to show up in anger too. They are testing boundaries on us as it is safe to do so - they know we love them and are pretty sure of our reaction.

When it is playful I stop smiling, say no and distract. Refusing to engage in the game.

When it is done in anger I shout am far firmer and put them down and walk away.

Then I reward good behaviour with lots of cuddles and praise.

Honestly I don't think it works particularly - toddlers all go through violent phases and grow out of it when they realise it just isn't socially acceptable. DD1 is learning that her friends won't play with her if she hurts them, and in turn is teaching the same lesson to them - she sulks if one of her friends hits her. Nursery are quite lax and will separate children if they are hurting each other but take a step back and let them sort things themselves if it is just rough interaction. Once they are done they will take the children aside and explain things, punishing if necessary. If one is attacking another unprovoked then that child is dealt with far more quickly.

It seems to work. But we do have a violent nature at that age and it's a question of working through it with the least damage done.

I don't believe in the long explanations advocated by some parenting books - they just don't see further than the next few minutes. But maybe I am just being French and too strict. Talking to our kids is great but I was reading another thread earlier all about negotiating with them and just thought oh ffs :) I'll find a link it's quite funny.

YellowWellies · 18/03/2014 10:14

Det I'd say that's a reaction. We see a slow erosion of sleep at each end of the night ie. harder to put to bed and up earlier, then suddenly we're in sleep utterly gone hell! It's cumulative - see how the next dose gets him. Fingers crossed.

Sophiathesnowfairy · 18/03/2014 10:15

It was a - pp I am well relieved.

PetiteRaleuse · 18/03/2014 10:15

Oh it's in discussions of the day, here it is: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2027747-To-hate-all-Parenting-Strategies

FatimaLovesBread · 18/03/2014 11:36

Can someone come to Yorkshire to give me a quick fish slap please?

Thanks kindly

ValiumQueen · 18/03/2014 11:36

I also have a test in my handbag at all times. Just from Poundland. I think it is sensible to test even if you know it should be negative, as it is very reassuring.

J is to go to baby clinic this afternoon. He looks like he has the plague so I am sure the mums of tiny babies will be just delighted to see us. It could be mega contagious and dangerous for all I know. It makes me angry that they send sick babies to the same clinic with vaccinations. Very angry indeed.

I shout and smack sometimes too. Mostly DD2. I hate that I do it, but I am human. DH lost his rag with her the other day and apologised as he hit her in anger. She just pushes buttons like no other kid I know.

ValiumQueen · 18/03/2014 11:38

I have been looking at Orkney property porn. Mainly at the gardens. The ones in the towns seem to have veg plots and green houses and daft little garden ornaments. I guess the town offers a bit more protection from the elements. It is helping me cope by escapist thinking today.

Sophiathesnowfairy · 18/03/2014 12:06

Greenhouses have yo b v robust here! My SILs got all the goass broken by the wind this winter.

Fish slap for fats get thee out got fresh air my love. Xx

FatimaLovesBread · 18/03/2014 12:10

Thanks Sophia Grin
I would go out for a walk but it's absolutely pissing it down, hoping it stops this after so I can go for a coffee stroll

PurplePidjin · 18/03/2014 12:16

Tip I use from a friend who's dd is 16m older than R and went through a bitey phase - cry and pretend to be really upset, think massively melodramatic. Worked for her, I've tried it with R a couple of times and it seemed to have an effect. I'm lucky, R isn't a button pusher yet but he does have his moments when I'm premenstrual

GTbaby · 18/03/2014 13:45

Fuck it. I'm not shredding. I'm going to bed to nap instead.

FatimaLovesBread · 18/03/2014 13:47

Just to add to me feeling bleurgh and lethargic and generally rubbish, I now have diarrhoea Sad

Oh the joys!

I'm going to try sort out and bag up M's old clothes this afternoon as that's the main job I wanted to do with my time off. Then at least I won't feel as guilty for doing naff all Smile

PennieLane · 18/03/2014 14:14

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