November 2012 - Walking or not walking, talking or not talking, any other skillz?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2000561-November-2012-The-exciting-all-new-all-singing-all-dancing-fred

We have quite a range of ages and they each develop at their own rates... so what can your toddler do?

Yawn.... temperature, reeky bum and up from 11-2 looks like our two month teething respite is over. Thank you anbesol for the rest of the night!

Stunt get him checked, I know it wouldn't matter if his IQ is 95 but best to know who's barking up the wrong tree.

Oh and no monitor here. It broke shortly after we moved in, but if he is really cross we can hear him. unfortunately we can' the are him if he pukes as demonstrated the other week when he was discovered curled up at the other end of his cot in the morning

Do they check IQ at at school then?

This has really wound me up just because someone doesn't have a high IQ does It mean they are not worth the effort and can not be a success in life? Should we really be writing people off in the primary system because they haven't got a high IQ?

Don't you know loads of people who aren't that academically bent do brilliantly and be happy and fulfilled and loads of people who have been academic successes bomb out and not fulfil their potential?

Isn't the job of the primary system to give everyone a great start to go out there and make the best of their talents which ever end of the spectrum they may be?

we have no monitor either sophia, haven't for about 6 months. we can hear him and i was keeping everyone awake!

Anyone ever heard of a coatigan? Is that an actual word?

NEW FRED: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2023090-November-2012-Spring-is-here-time-to-get-our-babies-out-and-about

Yes that is a long cardigan, heavier than a card, lighter than a coat!

Soph I would actually say there is an almost inverse correlation between very high IQ and success - if my contemporaries from Oxford are anything to go by. The very brightest seemed to struggle to cope with real life once they were away from uni and having their meals cooked and a scout to clean their room. I wonder if this is because they were used to achieving things easily with little effort because they always picked up stuff at school quickly, many were often praise junkies and consequently couldn't hack the long periods of applied work with no praise or gold star grades that often lead to success in adult life outside of academia. If you pick up stuff quickly, suddenly having to put the hours in can be a shock.

I'd much rather Jonas got a trade than went to uni if that suited him better. I know too many folks who thought a degree was the be all and end all who are now raging at being stuck in middling jobs beneath where they feel entitled to be. Which given that half of the population were encouraged to go to uni - is unsurprising that an undergrad degree is now just considered average. Most seem to be plunging themselves into debt to reward themselves with the lifestyle they think they deserve.

I listened to a fascinating programme on R4 about materials science and how little, as a society we reward those who 'make' things. The theory was that because legislators and politicians are largely folks who were good at exams, writing and rhetoric - they assume that all intelligence = being good at exams, writing and rhetoric. I know I'm actually happiest when making things - paintings, renovating furniture, decorating. I'm shit at it and things I create can be truly ugly but I'm very happy whilst doing it!!!

Define success....

I really wish I had the time today to post lots as I have so much to say on "intelligence" but I am busy intellectually challenging myself finding out how many ways I can describe tops.

I think everyone had a different definition of success dependant upon their aspirations and place in society, success is not necessarily monetary either.

Everything yw said [high five emoticon]

I count success as fulfilling your potential in such a way that makes you feel happy. I agree it often isn't monetary, to me it very rarely correlates with what society defines as 'success' i.e. the exec newbuild house, new car on finance etc. Those things always make me think of the brilliant monologue in Trainspotting about 'choose life'

I think success goes hand in hand with happiness and having as few regrets as possible. That doesn't mean not making mistakes, I think to be be successful you have to make and learn from loads of mistakes.

Arrrrgh I love our day time debates. Back to cotton mix tee shirts.

So agree with YW

Both my brother and DP dropped out of uni, to do stuff rather than learn. They are both very successful and far happier than most of my friends who went to uni, learnt and now have jobs that don't fufil them as much as the people who are doing.

Its not right for everyone and i'm a classic went to uni, got some degree, went into coporate and thats where i have stayed. It works for me as i'm a worker bee, but its definately not right for lots of people.

I want L to be amazing at whatever he chooses but most of all be happier, even if it means less money. I mean i earn a lot less now to work 3 days a week but i am happier (mostly) and happier to have less but gain more in terms of time with my family.

I blame isles for spending my time on Hungarian ebay to look for a nice kitchen for O. I hate plastic, it must be wooden.

Went to playground, first time with bike, she fall asleep on the way back home. Still sleeping, not in bike seat though.

I count success as the feeling that you are doing what you were put here to do. By that definition I'm still looking for success. I like what I do, am well rewarded but I don't feel that it's my calling IYSWIM. I think realistically I need to move back to the not for profit sector and accept the cut in wages associated, to get that feeling back. I used to work for a zero carbon development company when I was first out of uni. Essentially a bunch of visionary hippies doing amazing things to change the way we build, it was exciting, influential and a million miles away from corporate bullshit (360 feedback, teleconferences, corporate roadmaps, learning lunches, the usual HR bullshit deflecting staff issues away from management gaaaah ). I think I need to head back to the not for profit sector. I've had a good guzzle of corporate cash - my heart and soul needs to be more fulfilled than I am currently. I think I need to spend the next few years freelancing time plotting out a path to do this.....

Yes I am also using this time to rethink. So glad I am having a break from the finance world.

Am trying to articulate my thoughts about success so that I can join in with the conversation!

I don't count my life as a success right now, but I can't put into words why that is. Me and the BF have discussed this a fair bit actually. He has a PhD and subsequently, a well paid job. I have an undergraduate degree, which I almost failed and a low level job. But I actually consider my university experience a success, as although I didn't gain huge amounts from it academically, personally it did wonders for my self esteem and it is where I became 'me'. BF on the other hand didn't enjoy his uni experience. I do wonder if that's because a comes from a veeery academic family (intimidatingly so - and I am meeting them this weekend ) whereas I was the first of my family to go to uni, so he may have felt more pressure than I did. Having said that, I feel that I have massively failed my dad, by not being married and not being in a traditional family set up. I think I will count my life as a success when I am settled in a healthy, loving relationship preferably with JFG but that's another story and I am financially independent, with a job I enjoy.

Sorry, that was quite the stream of consciousness and possibly didn't make much sense

chasing not a ramble. Perfect. You know yourself. I am sure it will go well with his family. Remember when you walk I. Don't think "do they like me" think "do I like them?" And ultimately good in laws are hard come by.

Hmm. Intelligence. I have two brothers. One, he tells me, has a very high IQ. He has always thought himself better than others. He has a good, well paid job, and is one of the most miserable people I know. He is a twat, ignorant bla bla bla.
My other brother was labelled 'backward' at school. He is very sociable and is loved by everyone, except his many wives, for long, anyway. He has recently been diagnosed as having Asbergers. He is wonderful and I am immensely proud to be his sister. He has a good job, well paid, but is seeking happiness.
I did ok at school, ok at uni, have an averagely paid job, do ok socially I think. Most days I would say I am happy.

I want my children to be who they want to be, and be happy. Being older I knew I ran the risk of my children having extra challenges. I feel extremely lucky that they were all born healthy. I hope they stay that way, and life is kind to them. I will love them no more, no less, dependent on what grades they get, what job they do, who they marry etc.

Hmm. Intelligence. I have two brothers. One, he tells me, has a very high IQ. He has always thought himself better than others. He has a good, well paid job, and is one of the most miserable people I know. He is a twat, ignorant bla bla bla.
My other brother was labelled 'backward' at school. He is very sociable and is loved by everyone, except his many wives, for long, anyway. He has recently been diagnosed as having Asbergers. He is wonderful and I am immensely proud to be his sister. He has a good job, well paid, but is seeking happiness.
I did ok at school, ok at uni, have an averagely paid job, do ok socially I think. Most days I would say I am happy.

I want my children to be who they want to be, and be happy. Being older I knew I ran the risk of my children having extra challenges. I feel extremely lucky that they were all born healthy. I hope they stay that way, and life is kind to them. I will love them no more, no less, dependent on what grades they get, what job they do, who they marry etc.

Bugger!

Just handed in my freelance projects. Thank fuck i'm a fast typer and spellcheck exists.

Well done PR

PR

A question for the foodies: what can I add to my breakfast of porridge (made with whole milk and fruit) to make it more calorific? Needs to healthy, cheap, quick to prepare and possibly be eaten on the way to work. I did think of smoothies, but they are neither cheap to buy nor quick to prepare and I'm not keen on the sugar content...