Graduated Elderberries

[HazleNutt]

It's time to move to Post-Natal clubs.

My baby is broken
She will only settle with me and nobody else. Today I had to take her with me when I went to Zumba as she would not stop screaming with dh or my mum. Then slept through the lesson while constantly checking if I was there!!! This must be separation anxiety on another level! How long does it last?
Another question. I'm having to come round to the idea of introducing a bottle of formula in the evening as I seem to be struggling more and more to express and she likes a bottle every night. Which brand and which type should I try? I've read about hipp bend the only organic one in uk. Is it worth it?

Sorry that was so self centred!!!
Lily great news on weight gain!! And I'm also criticised for bf too long by mil and sometimes even my mum!

Lilly fantastic news on the weight gain. I think sometimes moaning about BF is a kind of get out of jail free card when someone hasn't nailed how to look after your baby. My Mil is making noises about it being easier to look after W when she 'eats different things' which I think is because she struggled to give her a bottle or just generally work out what she wanted when she looked after her the other day and W cried a lot. It's easier for her to decide that the reason W was crying was because she wanted nothing but boob rather than because she hadn't got it right herself, despite the fact that DP can happily look after her in my absence with a bottle so it's not boob or nothing.

DP has been working super long hours for the past week or two and getting back after W is in bed. I am feeling much more tired than normal despite the same amount of sleep. Kudos to those of you doing this with very little/no DP help, it's so much more knackering when you are doing all the care and trying to run the house by yourself without any respite at all.

alex, you do deserve a medal I found those first 2 week really hard too and even then H didnt like it, he never took to it at all so all my hard work was wasted. He will happily take his milk, antibiotics, water and steriods from a bottle without question though which makes me happy as if he was a bottle refuser I have no idea how I'd cope with having to give him all these drugs!

Great news re the weight gain!!! Good work mummy!! I'm worried H will have dropped weight since being ill.

quod I could star in a zombie film and need no makeup! Not sure if I said moaned before but my OH has tonsilitis and isnt allowed near H (docs orders not mine) so he cant even hold him for me, it is knackering doing every tiny thing for him, all nappies, all comforting, all wake ups etc, basically every tiny thing. Especially after 16 days of having an ill baby. Good news though, even though he has been up at 12,2,4 an 6 again tonight far worse than when he was a newborn he has woke up and fussed/cried, but not had a 10 minute coughing fit resulting in vomiting on me, I am actually thrilled, but still knackered!!!!

So excited to hear merks news!!! Sending her lots of easy labour vibes, heres hoping she has a sneeze birth!

lol a lady at water babies is having exactly the same issue, she screamed when the instructor held her and even when her mum sat her on the side of the pool! She was really really upset, H is a bit like that and its driving me nuts so I can imagine what you're going through

I use aptamil but I've heard hipp organic is good too, to be honest I think they are all pretty similar so its more what works best for your baby. My friend uses cow and gate as aptamil made her lo consipated.

No advice regarding formulas, V still firmly refusing each and every one I have tried. He is cutting another tooth, so grumpy and clingy and didn't want to eat much yesterday. Hopefully that won't last too long, as DH has picked up some bug as well and as you say, not easy to look after a grumpy baby if you're not well yourself.

Lilly fantastic news on the weight gain. I think sometimes moaning about BF is a kind of get out of jail free card when someone hasn't nailed how to look after your baby. My Mil is making noises about it being easier to look after W when she 'eats different things' which I think is because she struggled to give her a bottle or just generally work out what she wanted when she looked after her the other day and W cried a lot. It's easier for her to decide that the reason W was crying was because she wanted nothing but boob rather than because she hadn't got it right herself, despite the fact that DP can happily look after her in my absence with a bottle so it's not boob or nothing.

DP has been working super long hours for the past week or two and getting back after W is in bed. I am feeling much more tired than normal despite the same amount of sleep. Kudos to those of you doing this with very little/no DP help, it's so much more knackering when you are doing all the care and trying to run the house by yourself without any respite at all.

Yeah it is tough quod, my DH gets home after 7 each day, I also think it doesn't help with separation anxiety surely if they see mum so much more than anyone else. S must be too young for separation anxiety, she is happy to go to anyone at the moment if she's in a good mood! She couldn't give a damn if mummy isn't there as long as someone is haha!

Watching This Morning and they really should lower the age of smear tests. Making me sad seeing a lovely girl with terminal cancer after I had my lletz treatment at 21 - they must have changed the smear test age as I was having them from then and now it's 25. I need to go for a smear - I was going to bury my head in the sand as I remember someone saying they're more painful after having a baby for some reason but I'm going to go now. You'd think they'd notice anything unusual during childbirth but I'm not sure.

Oh and can I just be a soppy mummy for a second? Sophia swam under water for three seconds in her swimming class with no one holding her - she even closed her eyes as she knew the command then opened them and looked around under the water!! Loved it so much :) She came up, didn't cry at all and smiled a minute later!

Lol - I totally feel your pain on the separation anxiety, it's a real pain, L was always happy to be held by anyone but in the last week or two she's become a Velcro baby who screams pretty much whenever I put her down. I'm getting a great workout lugging a stone of baby around constantly but I'm knackered! Hopefully it will be a short lived phase, I don't care about my bingo wings enough to do much more of this!

Oh and Alex - I've had a smear since birth and it didn't hurt at all just to reassure.

Alex I believe the age for routine smears was raised to 25 a few years ago as too many tests from under 25 year olds were coming back showing what looked like abnormal cells but were actually healthy and it was felt that too many young women were being scared unnecessarily. It is something to do with the development of cells in younger women but by the age of 25 an abnormal result is more likely to be a true result. I can see why they've done it, but a young woman with problems should be able to request one and be given one and it's a disgrace that poor young girl went undiagnosed until it was too late.

I've had a smear and a coil put in since giving birth and both were absolutely fine.

And it's not being a soppy Mum to be proud of your baby, it's lovely! Boast away! We spend too much time moaning about them not sleeping etc. so it's nice to hear a contrasting one where they have done something good.

Quod my DH works very long hours and when he gets in from work he usually still has loads of work to do so can't help me out that much. For example, today he got up at 4am to do some work before actually going to work and he'll probably be back about 7pm and will still have a load of emails to send and this is not an untypical day. It is tough and I am always knackered but he does what he can and hopefully his hard work now should pay off for our future. His company have just had a Dragons Den-style investment to allow them to expand rapidly and take a load more staff on so hopefully the extra staff should lighten his workload a lot and he might actually be able to get some of his life back. I've got everything crossed! And I've managed to prize him away from work for 8 whole days next week so I am looking forward to some family time, although he will inevitably end up doing some work while we're away.

Hazle I have had a small breakthrough on formula in the last few days. I tried giving it cold from the fridge in a freeflow cup with her solid food and much to my amazement she drank some. She just had sips like she would with her usual water but it's a start.

My Sister got a BFP this morning and her DS is 1 next week. It's early days as AF is not due until Sunday but she is over the moon. I am pleased for her but personally I think she must be mad!

cav congrats to your sis!
I think she's perfectly reasonable to get the baby-years over with.

oh and DH reported that V just drank 150 ml of ebm from his doidy cup Guess that baby just hates bottles. Will use up the frozen milk - I have tons - and then see if he takes formula like that as well.

Cavort that sounds full-on but I can totally understand the investment of time now/pay-off in future argument.

We don't tend to have regular hours, it's all-or-nothing for both of us.
We've had the bad news this morning that DP's possible £10k pitch went to the other guy, after months of hanging on. Major blow to the family finances and it's all looking a bit worrying, tbh. My work brings in more regular/predictable income, but DP's is all like this - large chunks that either arrive or don't, and he hasn't had one for a while. We are going to have to start having a rethink about who does the working and who does the childcare if something doesn't come through for him soon.

Alex, W has just started minding being with other people, which is also a bit worrying, seeing as I need to leave her with others to get some work done otherwise we will soon all starve.

Fantastic achievement from S on the swimming! So those of you who do swimming - can you describe to me how you safely dunk your baby? We are going again at the weekend I think.

congrats to your sis on the bfp cav, I agree she is mad

alex S sounds like a pro

I can't stop smiling about merk, what a fab birth huh!

quod that sounds really tough!

I just put a wide awake child in his cot upstairs because I thought he should be tired, even though he was smiling and happy he was a tiny bit whingy. He whinged for about 3 mins and is now fast asleep. Yay! He rolled over for the first time yesterday and I missed it I put him down on his back after water babies to get myself changed, turned around and he was on his tummy....clever boy hasn't done it again though.

missed out a congrats to hazel re the sippy cup

Plus alex I've had a smear and a coil, didnt even feel the smear and hardly noticed the coil

cav congrats for your sis and I think I'll be one of the mad ones ttc that soon!

quod one good thing they teach in waterbabies is a command for going under water - so it's "child's name, ready, go!" and on the "go!" they're dunked under. Start by doing the command and just splashing water over their head and face. Then practice at bath times etc. And then just go ahead and dunk after they've got used to that a bit! Always use the same command. They might cry/splutter a bit at first and just do short dunks when you start the dunking.

mother I thought S rolled over on the bed today - I turned away for literally a split second to pop my phone on charge. But I think it was more that I'd put her at an angle on the pillow rather than amazing skill. although I secretly now think she's a child prodigy of course

Oh and quod every time you splash water or dunk them, talk encouragingly and bounce them around (if you're in the pool) smiling, "good girl wren" etc

Quod if you wanted we could try to arrange an east london swimming session one day and go with you? I've been to the v glamorous Leyton leisure lagoon and am trying out the olympic pool tomorrow. I'm sure Sophia and Miles would happily show Wren their swimming "skills"?!

Getting of all this East London action! I lived on that side till I met dh and now I'm all the way to the west!!!

Quod before we started actual dunking, they started us off by us hugging the babies to our chests with their head level with our shoulder and then slowly lowering under water and back up again. Make sure you give a clear signal and lower slowly at first until W learns to hold her breath and then take it from there. I haven't looked but I bet there are demo videos on YouTube.

Er HELP! I know nothing about newborns! Couple of questions to get me through tonight...
To sleep she is currently in Moses basket in a vest and babygrow, with a cellular blanket. Is this about right? Does she need a hat?

Nope no hat as she can overheat. And if she is in her basket you are one lucky lady!!! Chances are she will wake up a thousand a few times wanting to feed and may want to be cuddled by you the whole time. Remember she was inside you only this morning so being outside is quite scary! She will need the body heat and sound of a heartbeat to soothe her. Enjoy xx

Thanks Lol. She sleeps after a feed for a while before getting tummy ache, puking it up and needing lots of cuddles. Its fine by me as I'm enjoying the cuddles too!

Merk that sounds about right to me. Newborns all have cold hands and feet so ignore if they feel cold. To check she is an ok temperature just stick a finger inside her babygrow and feel her chest. If that is warm but not sweaty then she's fine. I know it is recommended that a baby sleeps in a room which is 18 degrees but we have found that is way too cold for E and she is more comfortable at 20-21 degrees.

And I agree with Lol. After she had slept off the birth E literally did not stop feeding for 2 full days until my milk arrived so if this happens to you overnight don't worry. Just get some matchsticks for your eyes and enjoy your lovely newborn cuddles.

Good luck merk enjoy the newborn cuddles and hope it goes well tonight, let us know how you get on