Dear all,
My closest friend had her first child on boxing day and they are still in hospital, as she is not feeding. They're about 5 hrs from me and I just don't know how to support her through this so wondered if anyone had advice.
In the past I've always called when she's felt down or faced a problem, to talk it out, but my friend says too emotional to hold a conversation at the moment. She's always been hard on herself and isn't really an optimist - I wish I knew if there was anything I might say that would bring reassurance, comfort or a feeling of being loved and supported. I have never had children, so have no idea what would help her right now. I can't imagine how worried she must be. I've told her how amazing I think she is, that I love her, am proud of her, am here if she wants to talk, etc.
It must be very frightening for new mothers to face a huge experience and brand new worries like this. The last thing I'd want to do would be fob her off with platitudes or truisms. I had resolved to wait for her to tell me what she might want or need, but I also want her to know I've not stopped thinking about her for a second, and am here for anything she needs.
Anyone who has been in a similar situation, I'm sorry to hear it was so hard for you... Is there any way you could give me some idea of how to be a good friend? What does a person need when they face something like this?
Sorry for the essay, any input would be so welcome
Thank you
B