March 2013 - gurgles, giggles and going on holiday (for some of us at least!)

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Will this do? Never started a thread before so hope this works...

previous thread

stormy you are right I am just sensitive and it was the way it was said, clearly too sensitive though... Who cares if her daughter is bigger and has better head control...

leni two of my teacher friends bought under shared ownership and they were both good buys that worked out well. Is the block all shared ownership or some mixed? Cn you buy the rest of the flat if you want to? What is the "rent" on the amount you don't own, can it be raised annually or is it linked purely to inflation? What is the service charge? If those things are ok then shared ownership can be a great way to get on the ladder. Ideally you want to be in a mixed block with the option to buy more and a rent that can't be moved up indiscriminately by a landlord. no idea about area though...

In my view hungry milk a very bad idea. I think it's about the amount of whey and casein in the milk. Breastmilk and first milk have more whey, hungry milk more harder to digest casein. Most people I know that are maternity nurses or the like say first milk is fine til babies need cows milk and that follow on milks and hungry baby milks are a bit of a con, they let formula companies get around advertising laws ( as unlike from birth milks) these can be advertised. So they can get brand recognition. Most common issue is constapation. Some people think they will help babies sleep through but I've not known it make any difference among my friends.

Sounds, erm, pleasant! Might not bother then, just wondering how to graduate on from this endless morning boob feed.

£250K is our max. That has to include all fees etc. The Beckenham 2 up 2 down is on at £249,900 and would push us to the limit of our funds so we'd have to negotiate the price down considerably, but the shared ownership is worth £283K for an extra room and closer to town plus a much smaller mortgage.

I'm talking myself into it...! You ladies are all wiser than me - I'm always lurching from one bad decision to the next, although it wasn't actually my fault the last place I chose burned down

DS has become enamoured with the orange monkey from the jungle gym and he'll hold it's tail and grunt at it for ages, such a cutie. Poor leopard has fallen out of favour. Music definitely the most entertaining thing so far. Happy mummy!

He managed to throw OH's glasses across the room yesterday too which was highly amusing. They got flailed violently! Serves him right for making him wear them.

Right, after a huge nap I can hear poonami happening... Better go

Gosh, London house prices are crazy aren't they? Although I adore London so can see why, but me and OH had our offer of less than £95k for a 4-bed semi with a loft conversion and a gorgeous garden accepted so we're very excited. It all seems so grown up and scary to be buying houses and having babies. leni you seem to be edging more towards the shared ownership. It sounds like you know which one you really, really want but you can see the benefits of the other one too. It's a tough decision!

We've got DS this He seems to love it. Lots of smiles and it means me and OH could get on with a full house clean. Plus, it's super cool!

Okay ladies, I have a dilemma. Basically, the dream is to be a writer. And after having one of my plays go on tour, it's going to be at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this August for a week. The problem is...what do I do?! The options are

1. Go with my company to Edinburgh for a week leaving 6 month old DS with OH meaning I miss him constantly and struggle to do anything without thinking about how he is.
2. Go up to Edinburgh for just a couple of days and let my partner do most of the work. The problem here being that she's ever so ditzy and I'd worry about the show when I'm not there.
3. Not go at all and relinquish all control of my play and not see it at the Fringe, which has been a dream for so long and would be the only time I'll have one of my plays there.

I'm in such a pickle

something I had to to Miami when ds1 was 9 months old. It was important for my job so OH took holiday and came too ... Is that an option? Very exciting ... You should go?

Well, if you fancy moving to Hull, leni, your quarter of a million could get you a five bedroom Victorian house in the poshest part of the city. There's even a six bed one within your budget. Very nice area too, and in the catchment of some good schools. Good big gardens too. And it's the pricier ones there that are £250k; a lot of them are going for around the £190k mark.

Dammit, I'm going to spend all evening looking at property porn now!

Scrunchy Cow from the baby gym has proved popular today, and even Random Cat got a smile, but Squeaky Bird just made her scream. No idea why...

Amazing Something!!!

So house celebrations

I think you should try to work out a way to get your partner to deal with half the Edinburgh stuff in a more trustworthy way and go for the rest of it - it's your dream!

By 6 months your LO will be big enough to come with you if your DH goes too?

If you don't go you'll always wonder what if...

Stormy it's nuts isn't it

We aim to move out of London sometime before DS goes to secondary school

Congrats on the house succuss something.

leni sounds like you made your decision. Hope you enjoy your new home whatever obe you decide to choose .

stormy i wasbt convinced about the jumpy thing, mainly because of the damage it could do to the doorway and we rent our home. Does it wreck the doorway? If not i think i will go for it as ds likes to ve upright. Hes soooo nosey. He no longer sleeps in his pram because he is just to nosy.

Right i need the opinions of my mn friends. As you know my mil is here from abroad. Shes staying with us for a month. It seems she is not so helpful with caring of ds or around the home as i thought she would be. In fact shes making more of a mess for me to tidy up and is expecting me to do her washing. She asks me when am i going to put her clothes on to wash. Maybe i have high expectations and im conparing her with my dm. When my dm comes over she feeds, entertains and changes ds. Basically she takes over if im ok with it and i would go for a nap. She has also helped with housework and cooked for us in the early days. Im in need of more help when im on my period as im in so much pain and feel so weak. This is not helping with my aneamia. I havent spoken to dh because he wouldnt like me bad mouthing her and he would just take her side. Also im worried this will pish me and dh further apart.Shes said shes bored being here already and she hasnt even been here a week. We have been taking her out everyday even though i would prefer to be at home. Do your parents or in laws help you out? Do you think its right for me to expect her to help out.?

KFF it's a strong spring that holds the thing either side of the top of the doorframe. No screwing or anything like that. We're renting too, so great big holes in the wall aren't the best idea.

As for the mother in law... An overnight guest doesn't have to help out (although volunteering to wash up always goes down well). A guest for a month? She should be pulling her weight. At the least I'd be expecting her to cook regularly, take her turn with the washing up, and take the baby out so you can get some sleep. Is your husband likely to hear badmouthing however you say it? Or, when she says she's bored, you could perhaps innocently point out some housework that could entertain her?

Wow so much to catch up on! Exciting times house buying something and leni. Also leni I'm just catching up on BGT (guilty pleasure) and watched the egg throwing just as I read your post...oops!

We've had a lovely weekend...in France! Aunt and uncle's ruby wedding so 100 of us went to their house in France for a party! We had a lovely time and dd was incredibly well behaved, she enjoyed being cooed over by everyone and being passed around. I felt about guilty though- I kept thinking "this would be more fun if I wasn't a mum". Gone are the days of getting very drunk with my dad and cousins, smoking too much, singing, sitting round a bonfire etc. instead we went to bed at 10 with a mere 1 pint of pression drunk over the whole day. I wouldn't change things for the world but a time machine back to the old me every now and then would be lovely.

We've decided to go for a jumperoo instead of a door bouncer, but I still don't think DD's head control is good enough yet.

And stormy I'm totally jealous of those house prices. In the SE we're in a 3bed Victorian terrace in the not-so-nice suburb of our town for that price. And now I'm definitely spending the rest of the evening on the right move app looking at property porn in hull.

vj I saw a thread on here once, asking "What would £1m get in your town?" I checked rightmove. My town has zero properties for a million, they're all cheaper. There's one up for sale at the other end of my terrace, it's not even quite fifty grand.

Leni - can I give you some very worse style advice on house buying? Don't be too head lead rational about it. There'll be one that just draws you in. It might not tick all the boxes but there will be something about it... a gut feel... a warm fuzzy hug.... just something. The only time I bought somewhere that won out on logic, but didn't give me the heart tug I never settled, never liked it, and couldn't wait to move. My current house has been an absolute nightmare and money pit, but I've loved it from day one, and we have turned it into something amazing. Go with your gut

Eig - Who cares whose baby has the strongest neck. It's not like they are up for the Olympic shot put team any time soon now is it . That woman is probably just jealous of you for some reason.

Something Yay !!!

KFF To be blunt, your MIL is a selfish self centred, lazy piece of work, and that is me being polite. It's not like she is a childless spinster who has no idea, she has every idea what it means to have a young baby, and is frankly and embarrassment to the sisterhood. To give you some balance last time my MIL visited she offered to help me with lunch, and when I said no asked if she could iron some shirts or something instead. That's kind of more what you should expect. Your DH should be having words with her.

Thank you all for your well wishes on the house. So exciting!!

Re:Edinburgh...thank you for all the advice. I know I really do have to go or I'll very much regret it. the best option would be to take OH and DS with me but it wouldn't be practical. First of all, I'd be so busy during the days doing promo and evenings doing the show and there'd be little for them to do. Also, the accommodation we're staying is university halls of residence so not really suitable for 2 adults and a little one, and hotels etc are so so expensive during the Fringe period and we can't afford that at the moment leni I think doing as you suggest and doing part of the week is the best option. It's just hard to completely leave my hard work to someone else, but that's just me being silly I think

On another note, I now have a full box full of outgrown baby clothes. Where has the little newborn gone?! I'll be waving him off to university before I know it won't I? Sob!

wors and stormy i was thinking the same as you but wasnt too sure if i was overreacting. Ive retreated to tthe bedroom to get away from her because she tells me i dont eat enough fruit. Since when did she have the right to interfere with me. Shes also said im winding ds wrong. Errrr well ive done this for 3months and ds has survived i must be doing something right. Cant believe i have this for another 4weeks.

something i know babies do really grow so quick and it all becomes real when you have to sort out the outgrown babygros.

Eig, the boy hit 5kg exactly on Thursday. He was 12 weeks yesterday. And I am adding more tummy time to try and work on head and neck control but he hates it. Much prefers peering over a shoulder, but nowhere near ready for door bouncers here yet.

Leni, as an investment manager my advice on property buying is if its your home, buy the one you want to live in, and don't worry too much about the investment side. I know you plan to move, but sometimes plans change and better to be somewhere you like.

Something your mil sounds a piece of work! If she's staying for a month she should at least be neutral on the creating extra work front, and in the circumstances (new baby) I'd expect her to be aiming to be a net positive.

Congrats on Edinburgh... A real shame you can't manage for your DH to go with LO. No chance that a group of you could share an apartment rental or similar? Hope you manage to get there for some of it anyway as that's really exciting.

Had a lovely day here. Parents came over for lunch which we ate in the sunshine in the garden, DS was lovely and we managed to actually tidy the house and cook lunch and still be really relaxed. Was great.

Only downside is that he's being a little sod about taking his formula top ups... Last few days he's been refusing them again. Just hope weight gain still good on Wed as otherwise we'll be in bother again.

Sorry, Something re Edinburgh, KF re mil. Doh!

Hi everyone. Firstly, stormy sorry to hear your news. I hope that you've people around you and that you are doing ok.
Nap angst people (me included here) I just read something interesting in the basic but life saving (although it also says 'your baby is unlikely to have an accident whilst changing nappy now' and we had a mega poo fountaid all over holiday cottage this morning as we were about to embark on our journey home!) book 'your baby week by week': at around 11 weeks our dc's sleep cycle alters from 40 min to 60 min. So, we should expect a natural improvement if we're struggling with crappy short naps. (and stormy yes, I freaked out a bit when I thought dd wasn't doing what wonder weeks suggested she might be but am chilled now as keep mindful of the fact they mention things at earliest time we might observe things).
Congratulations something on your house. Hope you having a drink to celebrate? With ref Edinburgh, great news too! Like others have suggested my first thought was go for whole week and take dh with you too. Make a family adventure out of it.
worse I love the sound of your glove! All we hear on the monitor is hand slurping so anything to mix up the tone is welcome.
leni the pro and con approach is the only way forward, what we'd choose wouldn't match what's best for your family. Sounds very exciting times though.
eig your dd's weight sounds just dandy and as worse said the church lady was lucky to get away without a barbed comment. If we were to line all our babies up they'd be a smorgasbord of diverse lovliness, and that's how nature intended it. There'd be no need for mn if they were all the same!
We returned from hols this eve. Too late for 'normal' bedtime but guess what? Dd didn't care :-) she did object to journey in car though. Lots of crying which pulled at my guilt strings. Luckily dh very sensible and pointed out the holiday gave her lots of fun so journey worth it. We had blue skies and sunshine so were able to bimble around outside lots. Climbed mountains and had picnics. plonko thought of you today as we stopped at hardwick hall on way home. Not far from you? So, all in all fun times but been missing mum terribly. Not sure why especially this last week but probably subconscious as we were in peaks on hols the day she died. Had lots of dreams about her. It's hard because I know she'd have loved my having had a baby and would have been relishing getting involved. She was also the wisest woman I know so her advice would have been very welcome during these crazy baby times. Not wanted to dampen our first family holiday with chat about this so hope it's ok to voice my sadness here. Anyhow, hopefully we'd be making her proud with how we're getting on. And she'd be the first to applaud our having taken dd to her first summit :-)

Oh, mega cross post then! You all came out to play at once! Sorry for doubtless out of date comments

Place marking as the threads disappeared from my MN. I'll be back at first waking so prob very soon!

stormy how selfish of me forgot to say earlier that im sorry for your loss.

Its the first of many feed of the night. Surely there comes a point when babies sleep through a bit more. This is exhausting.

eco i have no doubt you have made your mum proud with little eco. Glad you had a nice time on holiday.

Gosh, yes, me too. Condolences to the Stormy family.

And Eco, that all sounds perfectly understandable. I am sure that your mum would be thrilled to see how you're getting on, as generally your enjoyment of babyeco shines through your posts.

Sleeping through eh? Back to being some way off here, but at least he will still take a dream feed, currently my best way of getting a decent amount into him. Anyone experimented with how long they have to have been asleep to be deep enough under for it work? Could I do his top up post this feed as another by waiting 15 mins for instance?

KFF your MIL sounds a nightmare. I think you need to hide a stash of chocs & wine in your bedroom. & find reasons to retreat regularly.

Something I think you should go to Edinburgh for the full week. You'd miss LO like crazy but they'd be being well looked after & that way you could properly concentrate on your play. It such a great & I'm sure rare opportunity & something your baby will be immensely proud to have a mum that can do things like that! It's something very cool to tell them about in years to come!

VJ & Eco glad you've both had good breaks. Eco it must be so tough without your Mum but lovely to be able to go to beautiful places & have them remind you of her it's amazing how many little pearls of wisdom mums pass down over the years that stick & we'll be passing them on to our LOs too!

Leni go with your gut about the house. There's no way f knowing what the housing markets going to do, as the last few years have shown, so best to do what will make you happy & be able to enjoy life most!

We're down in very sunny Cornwall & it's beautiful. I'm not sure DDs at her best though. She's a hot, snotty babe on night 3 of karvol & calpol. We went to the most beautiful beach this morning, can't believe it's in the UK! The dog loved it but think DDs still a bit wee to appreciate it!

Eco this is definitely one of those times in life where those of us without DMs miss them most. Mine never met OH either and I often wished she could issue some wisdom in the early newborn days. She was always tough on me but for the right reasons and I hope I can do as good a job with DS

KK I'd be much ruder than you - doing her washing?! She's having a bubble surely! God knows why she'd want you touching her smalls anyway, most people like to keep that to themselves having said that I have been surprised how many visitors we've had who we feed etc and then trot off leaving me with piles of washing up to do.

We've lost an hour of sleep here - 9-5 has become 9-4 now , followed by unsettled mornings full of feeds and sleeping all afternoon. Just as you think you have a routine...

Stormy - I'm so sorry too, what sad timing for you. Similarly un-MN-ty hugs to those of you without DMs to see you through this phase of life.

We're back to sleeping through here, and I have sussed the problem. Mixed feeding. Sad though it may be now we've started down that road I am going to have to switch 100% onto bottle from here on in, as the combination option just isn't working.

Firstly my milk has adjusted right down to the point where she just isn't getting a full feed when she needs it, and second now she's discovered bottles she has got lazy. She uses me for snuggles and comfort but doesn't drink enough. For the past two days I have expressed the feeds she'd normally have from me, and she has slept through. I feel terrible as I have been unwittingly under feeding her, and both DH and I had noticed she had become a little thinner

I guess this is why all the books say 'don't be tempted to supplement with formula during growth spurt weeks' as it really does mess up the balance. I have always been someone who has had way too much milk before, and the tiddler has always been a very very committed eater so I really didn't envisage there being a problem with going down the mixed route. I feel like the ultimate bad mummy, and I mean that seriously not in my usual flippant way.

On a more amusing note, I have learned that taking her-maj to one of those family run cafe places on a sunday morning (you know the ones.... fab food, but incredibly slow service) is a bad idea. We only got to about 10th on the list before we'd used up all our quiet baby credits and faced the ultimate meltdown. DH nearly cried as I walked him away from the carrot cake.

The sun has disappeared today. DD will be thrilled, she doesn't do summer apparently.

Wors you are certainly not a bad Mummy, you've given her an amazing start to life, you're not changing because it makes you happy or for your benefit, you're changing because she is showing a preference for the big, filling bottles & you want her to gain weight & be healthy & happy. It sounds like now it's the right option for all of you & what your DD needs is a happy family & a full tummy, however that may happen.

Madam here has got the perfect knack of waiting just until main courses are served before suddenly realising she fancies a scream!

Our friends are joining us on holiday today with their 1yr old! So tiny cottage with MissMadam, PuppyMonster & a toddler! Who said holidays were supposed to be relaxing!!