March 2013 - gurgles, giggles and going on holiday (for some of us at least!)

[pudtat]

Will this do? Never started a thread before so hope this works...

previous thread

VJ dd arrived on the 4th, so we just missed each other. I'm not even slightly surprised that someone was sent home only to have their baby on the train, and I heard about another woman who went on to have her's on the bathroom floor.

It's a great hospital when they actually deign to let you in the door. The problem is they don't seem all that keen. DH was at his wits end as they just sort of abandoned me in reception in full on labour. He said you could see the panic in their eyes when they finally got round to examining me and discovered that actually, mini-worse was busting her way out... like now.

Sounds like a tough day . When the tiddler is being similarly difficult the only thing that works for me is to wrap her is a big fluffy blanket, hold her very tight, and go for a walk round the garden. There is something about fresh air and a hug that calms her down.

Leni I'm with the others - your DH needs a metaphorical clout. I am available between the hours of 10am and 12 to administer . Seriously though, he needs to pull his weight. Speaking as someone who maintained a status of doormat for 10 years before sorting it, I'd say nip it in the bud before it becomes entrenched.

KFF the secret to sleeping through here is sh*t day time naps. Although that probably doesn't help you much!

Am in a seriously good mood right now though as mini-worse napped for long enough for me to jump in the pool for 20mins. Given it is unheated and outdoors that was plenty long enough, and I feel like a real proper human for the first time in months

Similar here wors- I phoned to say contractions had only just started but were already 3 in 10. Think they only let me in because it was 4am and they were quiet. Even when examined and they saw I'd done 5cm in 2 hrs there was no urgency. Got in the pool, making definite transition noises (I could recognise them just from watching one born every minute. I was suddenly making animalistic grunts, was in a sudden panic, and contractions were back to back) said I thought I was pushing, mw ignored me, was only when DH pointed out the water level was dropping and she came over that she said "oh shit, there's a head" she didn't even get her gloves on before having to catch dd! It's like no one ever told them every labour is different!

Oh and I am completely jealous of your outdoor pool. The super heated LA fitness where we do baby swimming just isn't doing the job, I need that freezing blast only an outdoor pool can provide!

Want to shout at DH. Lots.
Been up all night, again but was out at 9.30 (baby group, lunch with Sis then popped in to see the witch MIL) and got home at 4.30 to find DH asleep in bed. Left him to it while I got on with dinner and sorting DD out. Have had dinner, am feeding and having told him a little earlier ro phone his Mum, I asked if he had. Angrily, he tells me no and that he's got other stuff to do first. Only asking as she'll bloody phone me and ask why he hasn't called. I also asked him not to keep treading on the squeaker on DD's gym mat in case he breaks it and rather than just say sorry, he tried to argue that one can't break it. The same could be said.of his face but i'll have to punch him to prove or disprove. I need sleep and I bet he's still up at midnight, then complaining tomorrow about not getting enough sleep.
Why are men so extraordinarily rubbish?

Hospital birth stories make me very very glad I had a homebirth and was in charge and didn't need to pursuade anyone that I was in active labour or have internal examinations! No one told me to push or anything and I just got on with it without having to go anywhere. Birthed DD head myself and midwife then caught the rest of her. Bliss!

Sorry to hear of OH troubles. Agree with worse about sorting it asap and not letting habits get entrenched.

DD had a her second lot of a jabs yesterday (delayed by three weeks) and had been a bit of a grump today but also extra cuddly which is a nice in a way as most of the time now she just wants to look around all the time and not waste time cuddling!

This is my third attempt at this message. Which makes me very gggggrrr towards all technology....
Like wing I?ve been away from MN for a week so I have used this nap time to battle with fecking laptops and phones that crash catch up with your news. There?s lots of it!
I ran away to Dads as DH in Spain for 8 days (he returns tonight whoo-hoo!). It has been a tiring and sobering week in many respects.

Tiring because being solely responsible for nappies, settling, feeding, bathing, entertaining for 8 days 24 hours a day is pretty sapping (I know this is daily reality for many people: respect). Also, like stormy we?ve gone from three nights of sleeping all the way through (preceded by only once a night waking for a good long while) to twice a night waking. Early sleep regression perhaps? We?re at 13 weeks here. So eig, kf, pud and vj I?m out there in the middle of the night too. As I?ve had a bed to myself for the last week I have also been indulging in the lying down feeds ? I agree with you worse very nice. I think EBW would say that I am falling into accidental parenting and that DD?s night time waking needs to be dealt with but frankly I can?t be bothered to try right now. It was however lovely for DD to spend some time with aunt/uncle/nieces/grandpa. DD discovered she can laugh. But only when plonked over my shoulder with me dancing/singing the conga whilst nieces dances like loons behind me and pull funny faces. I have been unable to rouse a laugh myself which kind of breaks my heart a tiny bit! I asked someone to give DD a bottle of ebm every day so that she doesn?t forget how to take it. My 13 year old niece even gave her one how comes it took you so long dh to get her to take one? I believe strongly that children need to see bf as something normal (just like you were saying really leni) so we did plenty of breast feeds in front of the two girls aged 8 and 13. They were inquisitive and asked questions. I also made the effort to talk about the birth positively; thinking being that they won?t fear childbirth if and when they come to raise their own families if they hear some positive/non-fear-mongering stories. Dad largely behaved himself with our visitors (75 year olds are troublesome buggers at times eh worse?) so that was good too.

Sobering because 1)I had to go through the last of Mum?s stuff. I found the special things she?d kept. Every single letter/card/postcard I?ve ever sent her. My old handmade dolls clothes. Newspaper clippings of me. That sort of thing. Drawings/pottery/embroidery I?d done. I found that pretty hard. I think having DD now myself is making it all seem even more poignant . 2) Dad?s neighbour who is my age and who cooked meals for Dad weekly after Mum died has recently had her first baby. She has been diagnosed with breast cancer and only has a few weeks left to live. Words fail us. There?s a cloud hanging over the village. I cannot imagine how that family are feeling right now. 3) one of our tight kit nct group is hospitalised 3 counties away with PN psychosis in a special mum and baby unit. I had lunch with her last week and she seemed totally fine. Scary. And awful for her DH who is at home without her and baby.

So yeah, funny old times. Looks like you guys have had funny old times too.

wing did you get your poo? The baby massage I just went to the peaceful atmosphere of which was interrupted by my daughter farting like a cart horse throughout suggested clockwise circles on the tummy can help stimulate poop. Don?t have any other ideas except my sister used to put hers in a warm bath whilst doing that. BTW, at the massage class we had to ask our baby ?permission? to embark upon the massage ah ha ha ha ha.... And wing excited about your dh?s relative. We love Haystacks ? it?s our honeymoon mountain and we purchased a beautiful black and white photograph of it which is on our stairs.
pud we have taken delivery of our next lot of real nappies too. We?re on little lamb OFSAs now in the day. Not quite used to them yet ? wee leaks up back(any tips?) ? although poo contained nicely. I have also started using them when out and about for the first time now as we bought a ?wet bag? from little lamb for £4 which you just pop the dirty one in and then shove whole thing in wash.

soyo west coast of Ireland is breathtaking; often quite literally when the wind blows. Have you and LO had a lungful of it today? DD here is starting to have some love for Sophie too. Chews the ears :-)
Agreeing with those of you still finding bf a struggle. It?s not a walk in the park is it. In the painful early days the hv and midwives and books told me it?d take 6 weeks to establish. It?s only just established really over these last couple of weeks (kf we had pain on right boob always until recently: it?s just evaporated so maybe that will happen with you?). And still we get thrashing at certain times. I find that if her feet are not in contact with anything that makes for less thrash. If she can push on anything she uses feeding time as a multi-tasking time building up her leg muscles too.

Where is zig? Maybe I?ve missed her... Hope she ok.

Ah...my DH is back :-) :-) :-) Bye for now.....

eco - to all those people who are having problems. Puts mine into perspective. I shall tell DH to stop being an arse (but i'll wait until he's asleep in a better mood)
Big hug to all tonight - my mantra will be 'it could be a lot worse'

eco what a lovely long post . Good to hear from you. Your mum sounds like a very special lady, you must miss her so much . I'm so sorry about her neighbour - life just isn't fair is it.

Totally agree with your approach to teaching the younger generation that all things child birth and related are not scary, or embarrassing, or taboo. I grew up terrified of the whole shebang, and actually it's fine.... fun even. A for the EBW.... stuff that . Babies do what they are going to do regardless of what the book says they should be doing. Go with what works. That's what I'm doing. I call it the stress free approach to parenting. If the small person seems happy, you're winning.

Rainbow your home birth does sound lovely. I'm glad I went the main stream route though as the tiddler and her enormous head got stuck, and if there hadn't been a doctor on hand to haul her out by ventouse she'd not have made it. If she hadn't made it I'd not have coped. So if Melanie, who works at TW hospital is reading this - you're an angel in a surgical gown.

Any you have my sympathy. Men can be a PITA. On the other hand when they aren't there and you're on 24/7 it can be worse. So, they have their uses

VJ agreed, nothing beats a bit of outdoor swimming. The colder the better! It's just a shame mini-worse won't be able to join me for a v long time. So, for now we have to content ourselves with floundering about together in a tepid bath.

Yy to Melanie! She was lovely. She got my placenta out after an hour of fighting with it and helped me avoid a c-section scar having not had a bloody c-section! Her arms must have been aching that night.

Eco- so many sad things. Screw 'unmumsnetty"- hugs to you and yours.

I think I'm going to write "if the small person's happy, you're winning" on several large pieces of paper and stick them all around my house. I feel like I'm usually pretty chilled and go by this about 80% of the time, but the other 20% like today I need some serious reminding.

Can you have empty nest syndrome with a 4 month old? We moved her into her own room full time on Sunday, I've just put the Moses basket away. The space left next to my bed has left me bereft! must prevent DH from filling it with junk

Hi all

We had lovely bracing walks on the beach, I had a dip in the freezing Atlantic & the air was lovely but all relaxation cancelled out by 12hr journey back with screamy mini-Yo.

Any I'm here with you. Actually once mine's asleep she's fine but I've not managed bed before 11pm all week despite trying from around 7.30 and the number of transfer fails is on the up, not a lot of fun at 3am! This better be a bloody regression rather than a sign of things to come because I'm reliably informed by many helpful people that 7pm is an appropriate baby bedtime.

I've successfully managed not to throw anything at DM or other family members who keep helpfully telling me that Dd must be teething and therefore need medicating as she's putting things in her mouth (normal behavious for a baby I think) despite lack of red cheeks, increased crying, nappy rash etc. They also assure me I'm dehydrating my baby by not giving her cooled boiled water as breastmilk is apparently only for food, not hydration. The smile and nod technique has been well used this week!

As for hair we are also sporting a fluffy, light brown monks do with a very attractive bald patch and flat patch on he right where she sleeps. We're still on the blue eyes too although DH and I both have green so we'll see what happens there.

DF is currently trying and failing to get her to sleep so I'm off to try again. Keep everything crossed!

Grrrr. Two hours.

Hi soyo, nice to see you but wish tiddler was behaving better for you sleep wise. We're an hour ahead of schedule tonight here, dunno why. Poss a bit hot...

Eco, great catch up but at some of your more sobering news. Puts it in perspective a bit doesn't it?

Off to a new exercise class for new mums today, wish my huge flabby tum and unfit behind and achy joints me good luck!

Owwwwwww woken with what is either blocked milk ducts or an infection as top and side of right boob are rock hard, red and really painful. Tried expressing but it's not helped. Any ideas anyone?

VJ It really is a small world isn't it!!!

What is this new trick of DS lifting his legs as high as he can then slamming them down in his basket while he sleeps which evidently wakes him up? He stared doing it at 1am and kept it up whenever I stopped rocking him, had to bring him in our bed so naturally I couldn't sleep. Is this his way of telling me that it's time to graduate to the big cot in his room?

something - the cot gymnastics are tres annoying - I find a sheet pulled as tight as it will go and tucked in the only option. The cot is one big play area so it'll be harder to contain the fun

soyo - bad times with the late nights. Minipants at least has stopped her nightly fights against sleep initially, I just have the rest of the day and night to deal with. Also have do-gooders 'advising' me on the cool boiled water, fist chewing and DH's default response to any sort of crying has gone from 'she must be hungry' to 'have you given her calpol?'. Not surprising as he's one of those men that eats paracetamol or ibuprofen like sweets every time he has the slightest headache.

Didn't tell DH what-for as I was too tired so just went to bed at 11 (seriously - tried to head in that direction shortly after getting DD to sleep at 9pm but it seems to take me ages to actually get there ). Think he must have come to bed late as I could still hear him on his laptop when I went to bed.
The good news is that this is the first wake up and she's just fallen back ti sleep - I think she was too hot, not hungry - so maybe we're heading back to 'normal'? I feel so mych better after a good 6 hour stretch of sleep though

Ouch Worse. I had quite an uncomfy left boob overnight which added to the sudden inability to sleep I've been having. Think that as minipud has been going longer, I have got v slightly less exhausted and therefore am finding the night weaklings more disturbing iykwim?

Anyway, sorting blocked ducts... Nurse that side as much as you can as you need to extract the milk and LO is your best method of doing it. May help to use a hot compress first and to massage the any hard lumps from outside in towards the nipple (this could well hurt like blazes!). Problem is caused by not draining the milk you're producing, but can lead to mastitis so worth persevering with sorting out. If you feel unwell or have a fever, then it could have become infected, get the to a doctor. Good luck!

Something, minipud does this when he has trapped wind. It forces his head up to the top of the Moses basket and wakes him up that way if not before... Sigh.

Thanks pud that was what I suspected. Left boob has sensibly adjusted to the new ff regime, but the right hasn't. Probably has something to do with the fact that the left always fired half its quota straight in the tiddler's ear, so she was less keen to feed from that side. I feel much better after a very hot shower, and I'll ask mini-worse to do her best when she gets up.

Any - I had the advice overload with my mum last week too. Most tedious. She means well, but lacks a maternal gene somewhere so has some fairly 'unusual' ideas. The idea of bf-ing nauseates her for example. I think the boiled water idea comes from the fact that back in the 70s you were considered to be some sort of weirdo hippie is you bf, and ff babies are more prone to constipation so most mums gave them water. I could be wrong though.

Right, I'm getting the small person up to drain this boob down. I don't care if she needs her beauty sleep, I need a bit of child labour.

Worse ouch. Would expressing in a warm bath or shower provide any relief?

Eco lovely to hear you've survived solo parenting. It's hard isn't it? I did 5 days when DS was six weeks old, so you definitely have my sympathy. Quite an achievement. And so sorry to hear about your those who are suffering. PN psychosis is incredibly rare, I hope she gets the support she needs.

SoYo sounds like you had a lovely time even if its back to business as usual now. Lovely to see your old mug around here again.

Yeah I'm totally glad I had a hospital birth. They admitted me before I could go on the ward as I was panicking with the pain so I got a lovely dose of cocodamol and a couple of hours in the biggest bath I've ever seen. Internal examinations aren't fun but they were worth it. We had lots of complications and as much I'd have loved a home birth we would've been blue lighted to hospital anyway. Next time there's no question about it, I'm going to hospital.

Sending my job application off today. I actually feel quite nervous!

Oh! And Moses Baskets? DS hasn't fit into his since he was two months old so I took the opportunity to move him into a cot in our room. We get acrobatics but I'm not woken up by Every Little Whimper. I don't get out of bed for less than an elephant impression now.

Boy she's efficient. The worselet has drained down the lumps in a way the pump just couldn't manage. I think I've sussed the problem too. You know the advice not to wear an under wired bra when lactating? You guessed it.... I did, and I've crushed the various workings of my boob. Won't do that again!

Plonko, your hot bath idea sounds perfect. If she deigns to nap today that's where I'm heading.

I wouldn't have fancied a home birth - the thought of the clean-up operation afterwards put me off! With subsequent babies I'd perhaps consider it, since the first was a doddle. But it doesn't look like there'll be any more babies here. I've told the man he can get the snip if he wants, as he definitely doesn't want any more (even this one was my idea) and if he doesn't get the snip then it's very likely I'll end up persuading him to have another in a few years and, really, that wouldn't be fair.

Seven minutes until we hit the squeaky zone, so I'm off out for a smoke, despite wearing nothing but a towel. I'm such a classy mummy.

Sormy no mess from homebirth here at all apart from a few soiled towels that midwife put in wash. In fact midwife restored everything back to normal as if nothing had happened without me noticing!

worse DD1 was hospital birth and she died - outcome may have been very different if I had stayed at home as hospital misdiagnosed me. So for me hospital birth means dead baby and homebirth means healthy alive baby born gently with minimal discomfort to me (so much so that still don't understand why people need pain relief!). DD2 showed signed she might be a bit stuck but advantage of being at home was that I had my entire house to stomp around in, lots of change of positions even a bit of dancing at one point! My independent midwives have a transfer rate of 10 per cent (including first time mums) while local hospital has 67 per cent instrumental intervention rate! Was certainly not going to increase my risk of that by going in unless it was medically essential. Ouchy on the blocked duct btw - haven't had this for week but previously hot shower, massage and lots of feeding solved it quick!

Rainbow How very very sad. I'm so sorry.

Forgive me raising an eyebrow at those figures, Rainbow, but you'd expect a hospital to have a higher rate of instrumental intervention, because at the slightest hint that things might not run smoothly one's told one can't have a home birth. That'll skew the figures somewhat. Two thirds intervention is still pretty shocking though.

As for the mess, I clearly remember the state of the hospital bed when I first got up to go to the loo. Had very little by way of lochia afterwards, I think because most of the blood that was going to come out all came out then. It was vile. Wouldn't want to risk that in a rented house.

We've been in the squeaky zone for half an hour now, yet no squeaking. Could this be because DD was paying attention when I told her: "Have a good long nap. The first time you wake up, just go back to sleep," or is it just that she knows I was planning to head out when she woke up so she's being awkward?