December 2012: Sunshine, saliva & sleeping more...we hope!

[WeeJo08]

New thread ladies

A friend's DH was talking about being a SAHD for a few years. He took a week off work recently and was with friend and their DS. He thinks he should stay at work!

I think we're some sort of growth spurt. Feeding every hour last night.

And Spotty there must be something in the water. Last night was the 3rd out of 4 where DD has wet the bed. She's denied it twice! But this morning she slept for nearly 2hrs longer and we had to wake her to get up for nursery. So I think it's deep sleep to blame.

Dd was dry last night Barbeasty we didn't do anything different though so I still have no idea! When dd wets the bed she just lays there shouting 'daddy!!!!'

DH also says things about how hard it is and how he "couldn't cope with a third". I can get a bit about it, given that I'm the SAHP and do all wake ups too (and even when I'm back at work I'll still do the lions share of the childcare as I only work part time), but when I'm feeling more charitable I think that maybe it's because he's not around as much that it comes as a bit of a shock how relentless it can be. I agree that it is probably tiredness talking. I know DH adores the boys and there's nothing better than hearing the three of them giggling together.

I do also think this is a particularly difficult stage as there are so many things the LOs want to do, but their bodies can't quite keep up!

thanks for being understanding everyone. It is pretty relentless, but I guess I'm more used to it these days and I guess it was a shock to him. he sent me a very sweet text this morning so feeling happier (and O has 'bought' him some chocolate to say sorry for being po pestilential shouty yesterday. )

Chocolate makes it all better. Drool.....
For some mad reason I've decided to cut down on sugar and there are no goodies in the house. What was I thinking???? Sulk

wlmum fx that happens for us.

mamapo are you back from Australia yet? How is C doing with the jet lag? How was the flight? We were supposed to go this summer to see my dad and other family, but I chickened out. I'm thinking of next summer now.

utopian its perfectly normal. My DH loves our 3 to bits and is immensely proud of them but does say he couldn't be at home all the time as I am. We briefly discussed his giving up his job before I left mine after dd1 as I was much better paid and he was horrified! I think sadly its ingrained in our society that childcare is mainly women's responsibility so we mentally prepare for it but men don't. I also think its one of those things that I might have said before I did it - when DH does have them it's harder work as none if them are used to it and don't have their rules and routines in place.
Controversially I also believe that men and women feel differently about their children. DH gets offended when I say that but honestly I think it's true. I totally know what you mean though.

Utopian i think babies really are a woman thing, they need their mummies and the men feel pushed out, even mine who is here all the time and very hands on finds things easier now he can take R out for walks get chatted up in Costa by thousands of impressed old ladies and feed him breakfast. As soon as they can take a ball to the park I'll be left for dust! I expect his feelings will change again once he gets his first dada, that's when parenting in real life will become more like the parenting he imagined pre-dc :)

I got annoyed at DH recently when he implied that I was better at looking after DS than he was (he never goes to sleep for me etc.) because I'm a woman. I think it's ridiculous to think that we have this ingrained ability to look after children. I'm better at it because I do it more. I'd hope that if I do something 24 hours a day, I will eventually become good at it. I certainly didn't just know what I was doing from the start!

Funnily enough, last night DS was so tired that he just fell asleep while DH was holding him. He looked at me in amazement, mouthed "he's asleep!" then went and put him in the cot and came back with "I did it!" Was pretty cute.

PS dp is wonderful and fair and enlightened but a massive part of his self-worth is caught up in his ability to provide for his family. Obviously after the stroke we discussed the idea of him staying home and me working ft (with R on the bottle) but it just wouldn't work, he doesn't have the same instinct for reading R's needs - and not for lack of trying. That came as a huge shock to us actually, having planned to be equal parents!

Actually Ski, he's right sorry! Women generally have a greater ability to read body language and understand social cues, meaning we're genetically better at looking after non-verbal children. Obviously there are exceptions, but as a generalisation it's pretty spot on...

It's completely normal Utopian, DP keeps saying to DS "I can't wait til you can walk/talk" and I just think stop wishing his life away. I think all the lovely hormones swishing about keep us sane through the tough stuff. Like pidj says when there's football to be played you won't see them for dust!

I tried a bit of weaning today! I've tried him with carrots, turnip and sweet potato before but they did not go down well. Porridge was quite well received today and pineapple was snaffled up!

He's settled into a lovely afternoon napping routine now (well its been the same 2 days running ) he's well away smiling in his sleep.

Parsnip always goes down well here WillYou

I just don't like the implication that I am better at things simply because its easier for me. It's ignoring how hard I have worked to try and figure out this whole 'being a mum' thing. I never felt like it came easy for me but I am proud of myself for how much better I am at it now.
I also feel like it's an excuse for men. They can say "oh, you're much better at it because you're a woman" when really if they spent more time trying then they could be almost as good.

Ds is so grumpy today pidj and anyone else on three meals a day can you remind me what you give? I think ds is ready for three but I don't want to give him two main meals iyswim? He's not good with finger food yet....

utopian think it's hard for the men at this stage as we spend so much time with them that we are beginning to see their personalities which makes up for the hard bits whilst they don't see so much of that yet. Dh is amazing with ds now he is older & walking & talking as easier for him to relate to and he has become a real daddies boy even though he spends more time with me! Although for the more nurturing/comfort type things he still comes to me. Think however hard we fight it & try and make everything equal males & females bring different things into parenting a child.

And wow at those 17lb babies on the thread! Dd is a tiny 13lb

Should have said different but equally important things in my previous post!

Sorry, ski, i know it's tough for us too i just meant that women have a slight head start into this alien language we have to figure out, while men can't even find the guide book iyswim? It's bloody hard going, my mum finds him as hard to read as dp does and i reckon I'm only about 60% accurate! I just spot the signs he's not happy and change the activity quicker until he is normally

R has 1/2 weetabix with bm and pureed pear or apple for breakfast, something with pasta for lunch then a variation of what we're having for dinner. With dinners, i find that a small portion pureed makes 3 for him so save them for lunches - today was bolognaise sauce, tuna tomato sauce also goes down well as does just veg and cheese eg broccoli and spinach or cauliflower. If I'm stuck he gets sweet potato, parsnip or something similar with baby rice. A rusk or lightly buttered toast soldiers keeps him occupied while i prepare it, although I've got a good stash in the freezer from nap time. Roast chicken was a hit, mashed potato not so much, think it was a bit gloopy! Fish pie tonight so he'll have poached fish and veg with maybe a little mild cheddar cheese.

pidj how long did it take for your LO to start actually enjoying his food. A has a tiny amount and pulls a face of utter disgust then spits it out.

I understand what you're saying pidj and I agree to a certain extent. Men and women do have different strengths and styles of parenting but I don't think it's fair or right to say that either one is better than the other.

So far DS has tried melon, watermelon, orange and green beans. All just tastes of what we were having. Not really typical first food though...

Right I just gave him carrot and parsnip. He had about three tbsp. at lunch had an Ella's stage 2 pouch and whole pot of yoghurt and for breakfast had porridge with cows milk. Going to try a bottle of formula in an hour need to get him used to it as end of ML is fast approaching...

Oh and he's still fed two hourly all day

Teething again . Hoping that the top front two put in an appearance soon, as he looks like a vampire baby with just the fangs .

Their front two always look massive when they first come through

Well ds had 60 mls of formula at 6 I tried giving him the rest after his bath but he was most offended