Arrggh just lost long post
Louise I (and dh) am my own worst nightmare when it comes to dummies. We swore blind we would not use one this time and lasted about a week. Trouble is without thinking we just shove it in when it falls out it give it when she doesn't need it and create a dependence.
So after my epiphany moment the other day I decided to try to restrict it and only give as last resort (easier said than done at 3am) I do also try to take it out as soon as asleep (very hit and miss)
I think only real way is to go cold turkey if you have a baby who is too dependent, but I feel it's bit too early and will try this route until 4 months when sucking reflex goes. Also she was constantly sucking on me and making herself sick over feeding.
Tbh she does quite often fall asleep without it, her problem is she can't stay asleep for long at night.
Come to the conclusion I am just cursed with non long night sleeping babies. Looks like I am on route to sleep train again, which is what I did with DD1 at 6 months. 
Tis: what an amazing friend and friendship you must have.