FEB 2010 Three is a magic number, yes it is......

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Come and take shelter from the DC here, folks!

Anyone else's LO in the 'why?' phase? It is driving me rather mad. I never thought one simple word could be so irritating. EVERYTHING is 'why?', from 'here is your milk' ('why?') to 'we are going to xx to play' ('why?') to 'eat your tea' ('why?') to 'please pick that up' whatever she has thrown on the floor ('why?'). Then when I answer the why, it is still 'why?' 'why?' 'why?'. After a while I get cross and then I wonder why I am rising to it. She has been saying this for about a month now.

Scones, are you me? I could have written pretty much all of your post. Feeling lost when everyone else seems to have it sorted - check. Enjoying doing some work but struggling to fit it in - check. Fear of reading - check. Piano playing proving impossible - check. So you are not alone. Maybe we should support each other with starting to read and play piano...

DH is pulling his finger out. We still need to talk about it (we haven't been in and alone for a few days, which is probably a good thing , but he has been texting me), but I think he is finally recognising that his selfish attitude is causing quite a lot of problems. He is pulling back on his iPad use (he begged for one for Father's Day last year, saying it would make him more organised but instead uses it predominantly to play games), and is being more appreciative and doing stuff. So last night when we had people over for dinner, he commented on the food being nice, made sure my wine glass was topped up, didn't talk over me and helped clear up. This doesn't sound much but last week when we had friends over for dinner, he just sat on his bum and watched me do it all, and when I did sit down he constantly talked over me and made sure everyone else was ok for drinks but not me, and made disparaging remarks about the food when others commented on how nice it was. So this is progress. This morning he got up with the girls (and happily), brought me breakfast in bed and now has taken them off (DD1 has swimming and a party), remembering to give me a kiss before he went. And I have an unfamiliar sense of being looked after and cherished. It feels nice.

Scones, yes yes yes to the constant questions! I generally deal with them pretty well, but was tired and snapped the other day when DD2 asked me the same thing for about the tenth time in two minutes. Her huge eyes filled with tears, her bottom lip quivered and I immediately felt awful

DS has been such a little angel this lunchtime - not!! He decided that he didn't like fish and refused to eat it. So after a lot of threatenings, he got strapped on his booster seat (he never is) which got him to cry/scream for 5mn. I stood my ground and he finally ate his lunch. I could feel the angry look of my mum staring at me while I was doing this!
At coffee, I gave a biscuit to my mum and auntie but none to DS. He starting walling as he wanted one and I explained to him that as he wasn't good at lunchtime he wasn't allowed one.
I just hope he has now learnt that there are consequences to his actions

SB Oh wow you are pretty tough on your ds. What if he no longer likes fish? I stopped eating meat aged 3 because I didn't like taste or texture. Would you be happy to be forced to eat something you don't want and then on top of that you are refused a treat even though you did eat the food against your will? Maybe a little harsh to refuse him the biscuit?
My approach to eating has been somewhat different. If one of mine doesn't want something it gets taken away and no alternative offered. If it's a new food I expect them to try a bit rather than reject on sight. The meal then continues as normal and try get yoghurt or whatever as if nothing had happened. Sometimes they are genuinely not hungry or are coming down with something.

I have to say I don't get mine to eat, then again I'm the one with a DD who is only just starting to eat dinner. Although that started before she was 18 months . To be fair to him an if he did eat the lunch did he need the extra punishment, just a thought

I have been guilty of doing something that in hindsight I thought was unfair.

The eating thing is hard - and each child will respond to different approaches. DD is a tricky eater and there's no point forcing her to even try things, although she can sometimes be cajoled into it. Like BG, if she refuses to eat something, it is taken away, but she doesn't get anything else. It's annoying, but I'm hoping in time she will gradually come round to many of the various foods she currently rejects. And as she does eat plenty of healthy foods (even if it's not as many different ones as I'd like!) I know she's getting an okay diet. She's started to be slightly more willing to try new things, or things previously rejected and she's taking more interest in the results of eating food ("Will this make me bigger?" - she's keen to be taller, so I've been telling her to eat more protein...). It's frustrating at times, but we're playing the long game.

Good to hear DH is bucking up a bit again SR - that dinner party behaviour you described was crappy. Glad he's made more effort this time.

Yes to the constant questions, Scones! It never stops. Thankfully DD at least varies the way she asks them....

DS is on a 'I don't like it' phase hence this lunchtime episode. He normally eats anything but this phase + my mum been here make him push the boundaries.

DH and I had a lovely evening out this evening as my mum offered to babysit. Met a few fruends after who wondered where DS was!? My answer that 'hevwas at home watching films on Apple TV with a bowl of crips' did not seem to convince them!!

how's this happened? I've missed a week of posts?!? deary me?

for those that need them, and a boot up the bum for twinny but only if she'll return the favour

also get well wishes for all those under the weather? DS had his most recent check with the consultant in January? he has to give a urine sample for them to check his kidney function but he needs to be virus/illness free for 2 weeks before supplying it? hasn't happened yet?

IC I was about to remark on how incredible it is that your DD enjoys an okra diet (it's the only veg that I really REALLY can't bear) then I realised my mistake and sat here chuckling to myself? i think i may need some more sleep?

I spent 7 hours yesterday sorting out the pantry (and associated jobs) it's a big pantry, and it was a helluva mess having been used as a dumping ground storage for the last couple of years? I'm going back in there now (it also has no natural day light) - just finishing my cup of tea.

Sun shining here briefly at the moment and I've been watching the birds nesting in our massive hedge?

Stoof! Why do you need a boot? Will a hug do instead? Sorry you are still dealing with your DS's health issues

I too have a pantry cupboard, but seven hours?! And you're going back in?!

Interested in the food battles people are having. I get quite stressed about meals (food is my thing, if you know what I mean), but I try really hard to not show it. I insist that the girls have to try new things and won't make substitutes if they don't like it, but carry on with the rest of the meal regardless. But I hear what you are saying, SB, about this being more about pushing boundaries than the food itself.

CP, also interested to hear about your DD being bad at eating dinner. My DD2 is much the same, it just isn't her meal! But it is getting better. I also have to resist the urge to serve the same size portion to both girls, reminding myself that a six year old needs much more than a 3 yo! The variety they eat is actually quite good (I have to remind myself of this too!).

We're not currently in a why phase, but we are in a bum phase. Whether it is being asked 'do you want to see my bum' and then promptly dropping her trousers, bending over and showing us or 'look at my finger' or 'see there's no poo on my finger'

CP, eeuww!

well just remember what phase you would rather have.

not sure what to say about the dinner thing, when she was 19 months she ate loads from breakfast to lunch but wouldn't really touch dinner. Now she generally has some of the carbs and prehaps a few mouthfuls of the other stuff (although not two nights running). Now that she is a little adventurous I have more relieved as have faith that she will come round. DS eats a bit of everything. I have for a while done two meals a week that she will eat. She seems to the be the same at nursery and has mixed days. She likes her food separate so the fact we have a lot of veg medleys isn't great for her. We say she isn't allowed to say she doesn't like it if she hasn't done a test but she can say she isn't hungry or doesn't want it. 9/10 she will test it (first lick, then small bite). I try to be not stressy about it, but when she eats a full meal and I realise how relaxed I am then I feel that some of it must leak out (although I guess this is a little old now as recently things are more relaxed). Her not eating dinner is the reason why ILs are as weird as dinner times as they are. They seem convinced that they can show us how it can be done and then fail and just upset everyone.

Now you come to mention it stoof, I've never tried her with okra.....
(pigs might fly....!)

CP ew, I hope we miss out that phase....!!

Swimming today was very good - DD was more confident, going right down the steps this time (!) and up to her chin in the water, allowing her legs to float and happy to kick and splash and be briefly floated about by DH. Again, she didn't want to get out - very pleased! DS had his first go in the pool today and (not surprisingly!) he thoroughly enjoyed himself. I submerged him briefly at one point and although he was a bit taken aback it didn't remotely put him off, bless him! Think I'll look for some regular sessions for him on one of DD's nursery afternoons.

Mind you, DD's behaviour - particularly at meal times - has been driving us nuts these past couple of days. One penalty for bad behaviour is toy confiscation - they get put on top of the fridge (out of her reach!) for a while until good behaviour earns them back. We finally had a decent suppertime from her by telling her she could get a much loved doll back if she didn't make us cross. This weekend has felt like an uphill struggle, though. On the plus side, DD is now daytime dry - mostly preferring to use a toilet, unless it's an emergency - and only wants a nappy for a poo (which she's done every day without fuss for over a fortnight now - another positive sign).
DD's keen not to have to wear a nappy in bed, but she doesn't yet have the nocturnal bladder control. But she'll often call us up so she can do a wee shortly before she goes to sleep.

Question: are pull-ups/easy-ups suitable for nocturnal wear? What with DD wanting to use the potty once she has a night nappy on, it's starting to prove a bit wasteful (we replace the same nappy, but it's not always clean...). Has anyone tried using pull-ups overnight?

that's what we use

Dd2 has started calling us a few times a night to say she needs a new nappy please because the one she has is 'old' ie she did a wee. Sigh. Hope his phase is short lived because I don't like getting up several times a night to change her and it also is expensive.

I used pull ups at night, they were always fine, but neither of my girls were great wetters at night. They were often dry in the morning so I could use them for a few nights in a row, thereby cutting down on the cost

Good news on the toileting and swimming progress with your DD, IC! Shame about mealtimes being a challenge, though...

DD2 has been a bit whiney today, I'm not sure why. She has more or less dropped daytime naps (much later than DD1 who dropped them at 18mo) but still needs the occasional one, i suspect.

Much better weekend here, hooray! I went out (whisper it) before bedtime last night. The girls found it very odd that I was just going out, and not to work (which is how I explain my PTA and governor evening things). And today has been that rare occasion of friends having us over for lunch. We had kids before most of our friends so most seem reluctant to host for us (though we do a lot of hosting!) or are now at the baby stage. So it was a rare treat to be (gasp) cooked for! Very lovely it was too, and these particular friends were great with the girls (and we took a film for them to watch after lunch, so they were occupied and we could relax a little bit).

I don't have many refused meals but ds has a sweet tooth and will claim to have had enough when he thinks there is pudding in the offing. He is a pretty healthy and adventurous eater so I am a bit lax about chocolate and ice cream.

Have been really ill with chest bug since last Tues. Weekend in bed. So weak. Still coughing loads but at least have some energy.

DH was very good.

sb I think perhaps you were a little too harsh. Sorry.

Yesterday we gave ds a treat - gelli baff - weird expanding gel crystals so they have a bath in coloured goo. Was over an hour before he'd get out and gave us both a rest.

One of us was supervising him at all times, obviously.

sr so glad you had some fun this weekend.

Thanks for the advice, folks! RL mamas said the same about pull-ups, so I think I shall start putting the shedload of them in our cupboard to overnight use (there was a 3-for-2 deal just before DD suddenly opted for the toilet....).

Bc you have the sushi-eating DS, right?! Awesome!
Love the sound of the coloured bath goo - was it easy to clean up afterward?
Sorry about your cough - when I had that horrid chesty bug, I got some codeine-based linctus from the GP for night time and it did help somewhat....

Ooh, does your DS do sushi too, BC? My DDs are addicted to the stuff (but then I did take them when they were tiny and dripped soy sauce and wasabi on their heads while they were in the sling, so maybe it literally seeped in)

The bath stuff comes with another sachet (of table salt I think) to turn the jelly back into liquid. There were still a few flecks of gel but a quick rinse round with the shower and it was gone pretty quickly with no mess.

Yes, ds likes a bit of sushi and even wasabi peas although he claims not to like spicy things.

ic is that linctus ok to take if bfing?

survival if you are reading I'm thinking of you & the boys all the time. Please say if there's anything you need.