Dec 08 Mums - Onwards and bloody well upwards!

[Beans36]

How's this? Thought I'd just press on with it!

PS GUI,t should say guilt !!

Oh and the dog just calmly took a piss right in front of me in the sitting room. Furious about that too!!

Oh beans, you just said it you are emotionally drained. DH isn't thinking. I bet you look like your coping fine on the outside, but inside is a differ story. I cant imagine how raw your grief still is.

Have a virtual hug and a . I think a break would be just the thing. But it would really need to be a break too, ie Ni children or at least DH taking on all the childcare. Much love x

Will come back and write more later, but I think something that might be good for all of us (esp darling Beans at the moment, by the sound of it) is a weekend away somewhere in a cheapo cottage - miracle baby M's mum and her mn thread pals spent a night away and all just enjoyed the peace and quiet. And I realised that I've not had a night away from the girls since S was born. On the one hand, that's great, but on the other, for goodness sake it's about blinking time. Anyone else keen?

Oohh sounds like a wonderful idea!

Brilliant idea. Count me in!

Dh is going to do the secret santa draw tomorrow now. So time for any last minute takers. I've had replies from:
ZJ, Beans, kayz, jam, sybil, ladyt, summer, Rubes, JJ, nolda.

Address is: ItsChrist masdecember08 @ gmail . com without the spaces!

I would love that! Have had a couple of nights away with DS1 thread. We have an absolute drunken blast.

I would too. Yes please! Sorry am on a self-pity bent at moment! Raw is exactly the word!
Thanks everyone. Supportive as always xx

I think that sounds like a super idea, JJ. You can get some really good deals in Jan and Feb. Maybe we could do Midlandsish so accessible to all? Peak District?!

WG - lovely to see you back - and I have some time now but I do have some thoughts. I have not exactly had a marauding libido since DD2, as I was saying to the girls just a few weeks ago. Very lovely to see you back too, NJAN.

Do hope you feel a bit brighter in the morn, Beans xx

I meant I have NO time now, obviously!

I'm in!
Will catch up later as been / am busy recently! but WG and Njan so nice to see you back.
Beans hope you get some rest and totally understand x
Must go but will catch up.

What a great idea. I'm in depending on when as I'll only be able to do it when DH is home. But if there is a date to suit everyone when he's away then never mind.

We had a little disaster yesterday. We had a lovely few days at PILs, been to see the Hairy Bikers for DS2(he loved it bless him), went to see Santa and had a walk around Bristol. Then we came home yesterday and we had no electric. It was dark and freezing, the boys were terrified. So we all bundled into my Mums house, DS1 clutching his pizza we had bought on the way home and DS2 crying his eyes out.

DH and my step-dad have managed to get everything working apart from the plug sockets in the front room. Luckily it hadn't been off too long we don't think as everything in the freezer is still frozen. But our poor fish are dead

Beans, it is perfectly understandable you feeling like that and I am sure your DH knows that.

Absolutely lovely to see WG and NJAN.

I can't sleep hence the stupid time of this post. I hope everyone is well and asleep.

Hello ladies have been lurking but never have a chance to post. I've had a few friends sick lately so have been taking care of extra kids. This mornings extra clearly wore DS2 out as he is currently asleep.

I've had a lovely weekend. DH organized a surprise 40th birthday for me which was great fun. Then we had enough dry weather yesterday to take the boys for a wonder in the sand dunes which is always good fun.

Lovely to see you WG, well thank you for your post. It was actually quite helpful for me. I felt all the same things as you, up until recently. Literally just the last few months I have been less annoyed by DH touching me (though I'm still not big on a snog). After reading your post I think it is because since going out on his own I have regained respect for him. For a long time he wasn't happy with work but now he's gotten a bit more in control of his work situation and I feel he is more his old self. Does that make sense.

Sorry had to post as my phone had a seizure.

Beans I would be royally pissed off. You must be completely flat emotionally & worn out physically. I think a few treats are in order for sure. that DH of yours needs to get on the job really.

JJ that sounds a brilliant idea. I will keep up with plans as I might be able to sneak over.

Gosh KayZ your poor little fellas.

Gosh KayZ your poor little fellas.

And Shady thanks for your reply re : leverson report. I think there needs to be a reminder that the phone hacking was wrong & illegal. No amount of regulation would have stopped that happening, it was already wrong to do it. Surely keeping inside the laws of the land is enough.

Oh no see what happens when I post more than three times in a row. I've broken the thread!

I'm here vag, I just have a very stroppy dd who is revisiting the terrible twos (probably under the weather, she is very hoarse) and a velcro baby so I keep posting on random threads but not making it back to this one tthat needs actul reading and concentration.

I'm here! Just pootling. Dog has puked again. Suspect over-eating again. Vile little thing. She's absolutely fine now!
DH working til god knows when again this week, every night. I do feel sorry for him. He also said we shouldn't do big presents for each other this Christmas. Gutted! I'm always v generous and now feeling a bit spoilt and grumpy!!!
Never mind! Won't be so nice this year.

Girls slept through last night, just when I was starting to feel I might go insane. Such a relief!

Kayz, all ok tonight? X

Kayz How horrible. Did the boys see the fish or can you smuggle new ones in?

Beans dd2 slept through for the first time in yonks too, must have been something in the air. Fingers crossed they all sleep beautifully again tonight.

Try giving smaller but more frequent meals to the puppy. Kittens do the same given half a chance!

Is your DH serious re presents? You deserve spoiling this year esp with the in laws coming without due consultation.

DH is doing the secret Santa now. Names all drawn from a hat away from my prying eyes!

Hi all,
lady and rubes i am probably still on for 12th or 13th - 13th would be better for me as 12th is day after DH's Xmas party so might be a bit worse for wear, to be honest would rather go to work than try and drag the littles to london!

beans you do need a bit of time off and spoiling - poor DH though working all those long hours too though. Is it likely to ease up soon? Does he have Xmas off? DH likes doing big presents too, I don't!!

jj is a fab idea re weekend away. Oh the peak district sounds nice shady can i bring my bike Oh also jj if you would up for taking the nippers out of nursery and heading down to winter wonderland with me and lady and rubes, that would be fab.

wg heeeelllloooo! Is a tricky one re shagging. Have been there but is much better now. I don't like soppy snogging or staring into each others eyes either. Much rather just go straight for it!! Have not really gone through the losing respect side of things, but have gone through phases where I find everything DH does annoying and therefore don't feel like it. And didn't feel particularly into him or it in general. Can you try talking to him about wanting a bit more ermm...domination/him taking control as it sounds like that is what you are up for?? Not necessarily kinky stuff or anything! I have not heard of Nancy Friday but could you try reading some fruity stuff online or something? Might put you more in the mood for things? I have heard mention on here of something called l i t e r o t i c a (spaces as jam has made me paranoid about googling and people recognising me - am v recognisable on here but don't really care mostly) which I recognised cos I used to read it occasionally in my 20s to titillate myself when had no bloke and then my mum gave my computer away and I have always worried that she didn't wipe it before doing so Anyway I recall this site have stuff to suit all tastes. Ahem.

kayz is stuff all fixed? Poor fishies

Right am sure I had stuff to say but have forgotten. Is my birthday tomorrow, not going to work, kids in nursery - awesome (is that bad?). I might go for a bike ride and then get my hair cut and sit in town and have a coffee and do some low pressure Xmas shopping. And buy my Secret Santa a present as got my e-mail!

Morning.

Beans, you really need spoiling this year. I hope you've had another night of the girls sleeping through.

Nearly everything is fixed. Still no power in the front room but we've got long extension cables we are using.

The boys know the fish are dead. My mum said she'd get them some more. They're only £15 for 5 but they are very pretty.

I'm getting a sore throat and a cough. Really could do without it this week.

Happy Birthday SL! Enjoy your freedom today.

I love the thought of a night away. What a great idea JJ. Count me in.

Beans - I'd be pretty cross of my DH chose to go away for the weekend having hardly been around to help. I'd be especially cross if I'd be as recently bereaved as you. He needs to put you first for a while and between his weekend away and his Christmas plans he doesn't appear to be doing that. Does he know that you are feeling quite fragile at the moment? Could you make a list of things you need from him to feel supported and then discuss it?

Kayz - sorry to hear about your fish. Thank God your DH is around at the moment to sort out the electricity. I hope your cold is not too bad.

Not much to report here. Still feeling a bit sick but managed an amazing night out on Friday and out for my first Christmas "do" tonight so must be feeling quite a bit better. I really want some winter sun and am fantasising about Feb half term in Egypt although DH not convinced that it's a safe destination at the mo. It may not be safe but that does mean it is tantalisingly cheap... (where are my priorities?).

Arti, I think sharm el sheikh is always meant to be very safe. I'd love some winter sun. DH is probably going to Qatar on Jan 2-3. It's not fair.

SL happy birthday! Sounds like a fabby day lined up.
and VJ glad you had a lovely birthday weekend too :)

Kayz glad the electricity is being mended - power cuts are all very romantic for the first few minutes with candles etc, but then it just becomes a pain in the neck.

Beans - you have been through such a lot this year, definitely time to have a bit of time for yourself. We can all sympathise with the Oh FFS DH feeling of them getting time out - I used to envy DH his quiet commute in the car... do you have any chances to get out with friends yourself?

WG your honesty is a great thing. There's been some great advice from the ladies already, so can't add anything but definitely know the feeling of "I should be doing this more but can't work out how to make myself want to". DH and I manage it once a month or less - it's not even as if we've got the excuse of being too tired as the girls are both sleeping pretty well. I have a secret fear of getting PG again - E was conceived shockingly easily, and I really don't want another. So hoicking out the condoms makes it all a bit too much of a "performance" and it feels too artificial. Do you find that just snuggling up on the sofa is ok? Would that be a good start, and from there things become less stress inducing?

spot - sounds like dp is in a positive place right now, long may that last.

Right - our current dilemma is schools . The primary school that S would be most likely to go to is very friendly, great community feeling, it's linked to our church (v important for DH, not debating the whole faith school thing! ) several of her friends go there already. BUT parents we know there say there's a tendency for bright kids to be allowed to coast and to get lazy - they're not achieving as well as expected from KS1 to KS2. We know she's a bright spark, and don't want her to lose that if school doesn't give her enough to work on. She has an offer of a place at an independent school (not debating that point either! ) which has a great approach to learning - not just about passing exams but about extending the way the children think, instilling thinking skills and habits that are about more than just the subject in hand. Downsides; class sizes are possibly too small (10-15), it's on a small site with no grass (but they do have a nature reserve, playing fields a little way away), there's much less of the community thing as kids come from further afield.

SO. What is more important? Will a bright child genuinely do well anywhere, in which case is the family feeling of the first school most important? Or should we give her the opportunity that's available of the second school, to really stretch her and open her mind to everything that's possible?