FEB 2010 Two and a half to three...the "contrary age" (no it isn't! yes it is!)

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Come in, sit down, fresh coffee is brewing, Prosecco's in the fridge for later and there's a bumper box of Lindt chocolates for all....

BG your poor DD2. As far as I'm aware chickenpox is only contageous at the incubation stage ie before the spots come out.

DS slept fine last night but looked tired this morning

Sending get well dust to all poorly

Oh. I thought she is infectious until all spots have crusted over...

Check on tinternet or fb science as she may be able to confirm what is true

Oh rubbish, dd2 has hit the jackpot. She seems to have dd1's high fever bug plus chickenpox. Her temperature right now is 40.2 and she is very cross with me for taking her fleece blanket off her to cool her down. She's already had calpol! I haven't got nurofen in the house and feel reluctant to drag both girls out in the pouring rain to buy some. Hoping dh won't be too late today but can't reach him either because he's somewhere having a work christmas do...(and never has his mobile on him, switched on, and charged). Argh.

Call NHS direct or your GP I am pretty sure you can't give nurofen with chicken pox, explain everything. They might prescribe something else.

SB you are wrong all the spots must been crusted over before you are not contagious anymore. I had to go out with DD1 as I was alone and need food. I put her in the pram with the rain cover on so she couldn't spit on anybody... better than nothing

although I thought new guidance was veering towards 5 days after spots appear.

Mous, the no ibuprofen rings a bell... Will double check. Dh home now and I popped out to get nurofen (dd1 also has her fever back so it will come in handy for her). Dd2 has calmed/cooled down a bit.

Mous, checked and you are right, ibuprofen has been associated with more severe secondary infections (eg pneumonia). Thank you, that was a close call.
CP, also checked and it does say all spots have to be crusted over, which may well coincide with five days.

Oh poor DD2 BG. The hospital gave us Ibuprofon for DD2 when she was very ill with cpox so I'd say ok but do check. Advice to us was infectious until all crusted over; takes 5-7 days. Poor little thing, it's awful when they get it badly.

Oh and I had to take mine out with me occasionally or I'd have been housebound for weeks. What else can you do??!!!

X posted BG good thing you checked.

Scones I also think I will use it as a last resort if her fever really won't come down. The guidance is that it is not advisable but that doesn't mean you can't use it if absolutely necessary.
I'll stop hogging the thread in a minute but feel that she's got it very bad. She's currently lying naked covered in calamine lotion, crying. Her pubic bone area is the worst and the spots run into each other, making it look like one big blister. There are also some on/in/near her private parts as well as in her mouth and ears.
She was crying for medicine and dh had the idea to use something as a placebo because I can't give her more calpol just yet. Gave her a bit of lactulose and at least it made her feel as if we were listening to her.

If you are worried at all or if she gets some in her eye ball, you have to get her checked by a GP. Poor little thing. Don't let her get too cold though there is a fine line between bringing the fever down and making her miserable with cold.

Do you have ice lollies/ice cream to make her suck?

I am so sorry, BG - there's that Virasoothe gel that's especially for Chickenpox and meant to ease the itching even more than Calamine Lotion (also - I think calamine ointment or cream is better as it doesn't dry out like the lotion? Not sure where I heard that - on MN probably - but someone said it recently).

And have a jug of water to pour on her bits when she wees maybe?

Oh BG so sorry to hear about poor old DD2 with the cp AND the fever thing. Thoroughly unfair. No advice to offer, but sending lots of love and get well vibes. xxx

BG and Scones I agree re child 2!! DS is a much better napper than DD ever was but I don't have the time to keep a close eye on them and will often break the "let sleeping babies lie" rule because we're off out somewhere. Heaven forbid I ever did that with DD!!

Another early night tonight, although last night was okay (previous night was a shocker, but in hindsight, I realise DS was too cold in our chilly bedroom, especially with an uncovered head that has so little hair insulation). Now remedied with overnight heating (eek!) and hat....

Dd2 is sleeping now bless her. I'll hit the shops/pharmacy tomorrow to ask questions about that gel and also calamine cream. We got something like that when dd1 had it four years ago and I remember the pharmacist was quite clear you shouldn't dry the spots out because it would leave scars.

IC hope you have a better night. It's much milder now so you may not need the heating on all night. Fx. He is totally adorable by the way. Loving those fb pictures.

Delurking to say to BG to please use the ibuprofen if you need to. Don't let her be miserable with fever as, on balance, she will feel better if she doesn't have one. My two don't seem to respond very well to paracetamol but ibuprofen does the job, so i have always used it. Also, PoxClin from Boots is great stuff for the spots. Stings a little when it goes on, but really quickly takes the itchiness out and makes the LOs feel much more normal. One bottle costs a few pounds but will last the duration. Really good stuff.

Poor thing. At least you are a day through it now.

Oh, and it's aqueous calamine cream that doesn't leave the mess like calamine lotion, but PoxClin is better. But only stocked in Boots as of two years ago.

SR you are a star! Thanks for the advice, much appreciated. Hope all is going okay for you at the moment

to all of you actually! Got a bit panicky earlier when her fever went over 40.

Glad DD2 is feeling a bit better now BG. Have you got piriton? You can also do as many oat baths as you like (but beware, she'll be very slippy when she gets out!)It's so horrid when they are poorly. I discovered today that DS1's very best friend (with whom he is pretty much attached to by the hip) was sick last night and has a nasty virus so I've put the bucket by the bed! If he doesn't get it from me, he'll get it from his friend!

I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, given what you've written above, but I believe that it is really important to stay well clear of people when children (or adults) are infectious with chicken pox. This is due to the risk of giving it to ladies in their first trimester of pregnancy, as it can cause miscarriage, and the risk to people with compromised immune systems (to whom chicken pox can be life threaatening). I had 6 days between DS2 spots crusting over and DS1 getting his first but we avoided people anyway as I knew there would be people at playgroup/in Sainsburys who had not declared their pregnancies by that point (and that it was highly likely that DS1 was harbouring it - as he was). Yes, we stayed away from people (unless we knew they'd had it) for 3 weeks and nearly went stir crazy, but I felt it was worth it. I think people underestimate the problems that it can cause, especially as it's something we don't vaccinate against here.

Does anyone else get irrationally narked by DP/H going out on a night out? I can cope with his dinners with friends that involve driving and coming home by 11pm. I find his occasional work outings into town until midnight-2a.m more difficult. He tends to wake me up by mistake when he gets in, inevitably means I do the night with the boys as he sleeps through regardless, he's tired the next day (though rarely lets on to being hungover), has to get a taxi back (which I think is a waste of money) and I worry about whether or not he's okay. Writing it down makes me sound controlling and ridiculous, but it bugs me nonetheless...

And, finally, do you have any tips for not shouting when you get cross? I guess we've had a bit of a run of bad luck again recently so stress levels are high, but my tolerance is low and I don't like hearing myself shouting so often. I know some of you on here don't shout at all and I take my hat off to you. I've read the 'talk so kids will listen' book and I need to make time to reread the summary pages (although I've used some bits so much that DS2 now grants me my request in wishes, as in the book, "Mummy, I wish we could tidy up for you..."). It's mainly when I'm saying the same thing about 6 times or when the boys are getting really wound up into an excited frenzy and I can't seem to get through to them that they need to calm down for their own safety. Anyway, as usual, I've used 100 words where 10 would have done, but I'd really appreciate any thoughts. I know I could add some time off (alone or with DH) as a good idea to start off with (and will maybe grant it to myself in wishes!!)

I've forgottten to read the end of the last page and I don't dare try and copy and paste all this now as I'll probably lose it on our crap internet connection. Apologies to anyone I should have replied to or mentioned.

Survival I totally agree. My heart sank when dd1 told me her best friend was sick in school today... . I was really conscious of taking dd2 out today and when I collected dd1 I actually left her in the car. First time ever!! (hugely secure car park one minute walk to the school door, and she asked to stay in the car because she was feeling unwell and it was pouring with rain). We've also cancelled our weekend plans meeting people.

No problems with dh going out though. We are both really unsociable . He goes out once a month usually until 11 and I am always looking forward to having a night to myself!

As for shouting ... it's dd1 that drives me up the wall because I have to say everything five times, and she really knows how to press my buttons. Come to think of it, I don't shout at dd2 because I don't need to.

I get annoyed if DH goes out - even for work if he is out at teatime/bathtime/bedtime (ie 5pm-7ish). If he goes out after kids are asleep I mind much less. I am just used to having two pairs of hands for that intense period of the day when you have to be doing cooking/eating/bathing - I know most of you do that bit alone and I take my hat off to you because I struggle there. Obv. if no DH I can manage with eg fishfingers and a quick (or no) bath for DS.

It feels unfair that he still gets to have a life outside the home and I don't.

I am actually going out on Monday night but really scared as haven't left DD for an evening before and she is very mummy-orientated. His mum will be here though so she can see to DS while DH gives full attention to DD.

Tips for not shouting - I felt like shouting today when it turned out that DH's trip to the States is not happening because he dithered over getting a work visa, only applied today and now it is too late to get one and he can't chance his arm on going on a tourist waiver as the Embassy has been alerted to him going over for work. Instead of shouting about what an arse he was I thought "what's the worst that could happen" which is that he loses out on £700 and the mag who commissioned him are unlikely to ask him to do a big feature for a while. When I thought about it like that - we aren't going to starve, no one will die, and it's not any of his main employers I was more able to stay calm and be there for him rather than railing at him. I guess it's staying mindful of your thoughts - like part of you is just watching it all happening - just as it is, without judging and seeing it as much as you can for exactly and only what it is. Then not following set, habitual paths of reaction but thinking and consciously reacting to just what has happened or is happening. Sorry if that sounds like hippy bullshit - it has helped me a bit though (I still shout and get the hump sometimes but much less so when I remember the stuff that I read in my book on Mindfulness).

dd2 woke at 10 and is doing a little bit of log fire watching with us on the sofa while we wait for calpol and piriton to kick in .Temperature is 39.4. Expecting her to wake around 4 again and dh is under strict instructions to wake me (I still can't hear a thing; dh is getting fed up with me not hearing my alarm in the morning, then no hearing him telling me my alarm is going off and then having to shake me awake...)