FEB 2010 Two and a half to three...the "contrary age" (no it isn't! yes it is!)

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Come in, sit down, fresh coffee is brewing, Prosecco's in the fridge for later and there's a bumper box of Lindt chocolates for all....

IC Can you try to skip the potty? Dd1 never warmed to it and went straight on to the big loo. She didn't even want the insert.

DD wears pull-ups when she's in a nappy quite often - doesn't seem to make much difference! And she's even less keen on the idea of using the loo at the moment.

She's been funny about doing poos for months now - she's a fastidious creature and odd things trigger fearful reactions.

I think the situation was getting too pressured, so that's why I've decided to back off for now and leave it for a bit. I'm hoping she will volunteer to try again herself before too long, but we shall see.

She's clearly bright enough to understand what's expected of her - and can do it - but something is upsetting her about the process, hence the urine retention as well as the fecal retention. I'd rather she peed and pooed in her nappy than hung on to both for long enough to distress herself!

I agree IC if it's causing her stress (especially with the feed back loop of stressed parents) than back off for a while. There's no rush and they're not even three yet.

IC good call. It'll come to her sooner rhan yiu think and the holding is not the best for an adult let alone for a 2 yo.

NK forgot to say. The new owner of your DD2 nursery seems rather odd Hopefully you can manage the new hours for the next 3 months. I too would be about them

IC I agree to back off for a while. That's what I've decided with DD1's poo-phobia, she asks for a nappy and I provide it (a cheaper no.4 size of her sister's in fact!), she does the business and off it comes. For whatever reason, she REFUSES to use the potty or toilet so I'm not going to push it for now. The stress levels are markedly less already.

It doesn't matter! They will all get there in their own time.

NK what a shame about your nursery. That is very odd about the Halloween non-party. At least you don't have long to wait until you can transfer her, the next few months will fly by. It's nearly Christmas already... [head in sand emoticon]

DD1 still cries often (about half the time) at drop-off to nursery, but seems to be having a whale of a time when I pick her up. On Monday I hung back and watched her interact with one of the workers who was being really loving and playful with her, like a GP would, and she was giggling away, it warmed my heart. I am SURE she does like it really, although she insists she doesn't.

I think I probably have the most veg-phobic child, she eats cucumber with gusto and most fruit but other than that, tomatoes occasionally and that's it. Oh yesterday she ate uncooked frozen peas straight from the freezer but that's a first. I have to remind myself that I didn't really eat any vegetables apart from raw carrots until I was a teenager. I don't know what we'd do if we were vege

SB good luck with your home alone duties! I have done full days this week, up to and including bedtime, as DH is working late. It hasn't driven me to despair which is good. I am guffawing at your DS promising to DH that he'll behave for you. DD1 promises all the time to behave and it makes not a jot of difference. She naughties away.

stoof great to hear from you. You really have been in the wars, you thoroughly deserve your holiday, I hope you have a really relaxing (with children? ) and enjoyable time.

CP how are you feeling? Your fellowship application sounds amazing. I seem to have a complete mental block when I think of my 'career'. I am intending to apply for standard office/admin jobs at minimum wage (in this part of the country) and I am a chartered accountant. All the accy jobs round here are FT though. and I'm not sure I could do them as I have forgotten it all

Mous, what's going on with your situation at the mo? Fab that DD2's speech is coming along so nicely.

We had DD2's first birthday party on her birthday, on Sunday. Phew it was hectic, we have a lot of family between us (well mine mostly) and quite a few friends with babies the same age so we had a real houseful. We worked like dogs to get the house presentable as we're still in the middle of decorating. It all went off well, but that is me partied out for a LONG TIME. Much, much nicer to be a guest and be the one accepting cups of tea not making them.....!

Sugar it's time to collect DD1 from nursery! Bad Mother alert

scones DS promises and if he starts playing up I remind him what he promised daddy and he behaves again. It's so useful!

Thanks for the support everyone! Today was much less stressful, although DD twice removed her nappy. First time, she said she wanted to do a wee in her potty (actually, I think she'd just done one in her nappy) but as soon as she felt like she might do a poo, she got worried again and wanted her nappy back. The nappy removal is frustrating, but at least we didn't have the tension levels of the last few days.

NK that nursery does sound rather odd....!

Scones I'm impressed with the cucumber and tomato-eating!! The only reliable piece of vegetable-type matter DD will eat is potato. That said, she's now getting a bit more adventurous and is at least trying things, even if she's not eating them. It's a step in the right direction.

Argh, DD's got another cold - less than a week after the last one cleared up. Meh. I'm hoping this one will remain a head cold and depart swiftly - the coughing and poorlyness that came with the last one wasn't much fun. Still, at least I'm armed with the Benilyn this time!

quick hello to mark my place!

DS HAS got conjunctivitis? operation immune system re-build underway with a vengeance! DH took him to docs yest - lovely new GP who had called the haematologist (sp?!) to review last lot of bloods to reassure us further?

panicing a little - DD having her first ever bday party on 25th? sent invites out at school yesterday?. only one reply I figure I don't always reply immediately, needing to check what's on etc etc?. but still?

5 sleeps til hols

2 crazy busy days at work

NK IC

CP off to google vegusto!

not so much of a quick hello then!

DH has man flu and is highly annoying

DD and DS are ill still ill?

DD still waking several times a night, but sleeps really settled once in bed with me. Actually DS while ill and cranky in the day is sleeping more settled and feeding 3-4 hours at night so is alright.

I meanwhile am fine, despite a cold. Going to attempt a run tomorrow. Was going to go yesterday but whacked my knee on a door. I have A LOT of background reading to do . DH is supposed to be off work tomorrow afternoon (like he was today) but doubt he will up to anything. I swear if he is off ill tomorrow morning he will be made to reschedule his holiday. Had hoped to do some more tonight but had to do all the housework. Did sneak off to McDonalds earlier for some coffee and reading time, even found a highlighter DH had stashed away

Anyone else ever wonder if their DHs make themselves more ill than they need to be? You'd think he had what I had a few weeks ago.

nk what other nursery provision is around?

oh, took DD to tumbletots today, she had a great time and think I will sign up for it. She likes the vegan cheese but was unimpressed with the spicy sausage. Although I did realise afterwards she was complaining of her mouth hurting so don't think it was the spice in hindsight. Already been up to her 6 times tonight :( and I still have a shower to do.

I think DS may have worms. Not sure. He seems generally sprightly but has been recently complaining of itchy bum, his appetite is down and he's gone really picky about food and his stools are quite loose and pale. Also he has had a persistant crackly cough for months - not all the time but quite often I hear it when he's in bed. I'm not sure - I have checked his bum and looked at poo when he's done it in the potty and no evidence as yet. Actually the complaints of itching are less than they were.

I am less sure about the Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting book the more I read it - she advocates giving the child something other than it wants when it expresses a preference eg. the red one over the blue one just so they learn they don't always get what they want. I find that needless and a bit cruel. I still think think throughs, descriptive praise, special time and explaining what is expected are great though.

nk - would def ask the new owner about what happened on halloween. We had to buy loads of horrible biscuits and chocolate coated apples the kids had made from ours - money raised went towards a new pram shed.

CP Yes, I think my DH complains more than is warranted when he is ill. He also takes to drinking a lot of whisky whenever he has a cold which I think is self indulgent and probably doesn't help and also makes me dubious about how ill he actually is. I couldn't touch booze if I were that ill. Then he moans for weeks about all the work he has to make up that he fell behind on when he was unwell. He stll sits in front of laptop all day during ill periods but apparently having a cold makes hiim a lot slower (not the whisky, no).

Have any of you read The Diary of a Provincial Lady by EM Delafield? Pre-war but still very pertininent (and funny) about what it is like with small children and a typical husband.

CP BC, the term man flu hasn't been invented out of nothing!!! Typical male behaviour, DH says he is more sensitive to be able to react more quickly when attacked by a mammoth or a sabretooth tiger

BC I did read it but prechildren so a long time ago I am sure I would understand it more now.

DD2 has croup but it is falling on her chest and she has horrible gunk coming out of her nose now. I might have to go back to the doc...

oh dear? more poorly people :( poor DC's and croup is horrid! BC our two can get itchy bums when they eat anything spicy?. often goes with a soft stool too ;-) but I imagine you've already ruled that out!

DH has been complaining of being ill for weeks and weeks now? but soldiering on. I think we all just probably need a break! (speaking of which, only 3 sleeps til centerparcs :) :) :) :) ) I get furious with him cos he doesn't seem to do anything to help himself feel better (like eating better, going to bed earlier, exercising etc) just seems to wallow in it?.

happy friday night!!

Hi all. I'm babysitting at a friend's house this evening and have her computer to myself (and the tv remote control!!) so I'm able to catch up with you all without a)working; b) trying to sound like I'm actually listening to DH or c) dealing with jobs/night terrors or any other disturbance - bliss!!

IC It will be interesting to see what result comes back from the sample - could be a phobia but may have come as a result of DD having a urine infection too. The only way I picked up DS2's the other week was by the smell of his night nappy. DS1 decided himself when he wanted to be in pants and that worked well. She obviously knows what is expected, and agree there is no need to hurry. Hey, you've got enough on your plate at the moment!! I sometimes used to ask DS2 if he wanted pants or a pull up in the early days - that seemed to work too.

NK rubbish news about the nursery. We've also faced some changes in the last few months as the manager has gone on maternity leave. This week they tried to tell me that DS2 faced a new key worker and one that we know he doesn't like. Luckily, I arranged a meeting with the acting manager and politely requested that he go to one of several other girls instead(on the grounds that he just hasn't gelled with the other one). She has agreed and we are very relieved! It's so important that you are happy and confident in the childcare isn't it? When things aren't going well, it just increases the mummy guilt in my experience.

Stoof hope you have a lovely holiday. Sounds like you've really been through it and I hloope the DC continue to get better soon. I think internet multivitamins are the way to go when they are really needed (but the price can be monstrous).

SB DS1 is still in nappies at night at 4 years and 7 months. They're starting to get lighter but he has my type of bladder that doesn't empty in one go, so I think it will take us a while longer yet to get him dry. DS2, meanwhile, no longer has an infection and is having to retrain himslef to get to the potty in time now that he doesn't get a pain sensation when he's about to go. The same happened with DS1 at a similar age so I know it's a phase, but, really, 5 pairs of pants/trousers a day is getting a bit dull!!

In fact, DS2 is generally being a PITA - lots of screaming/angry shouting/poking/rough play in the day and back to waking us for up to 2 hours(and other regular wakings) in the night needing comfort (having been back in his room about a week). I'm already at 'crying tired'...

I'm also fighting the school over DS1 having a hot meal. The county caterers will only cook a gluten and dairy free meal for him if I pay the £1.95 that every parent pays and also provide all the ingredients that they need. In addition, the only suggestion for pudding is fruit, which will not fatten up my famine-victim sized 4 year old. Also, I feel that it isn't fair that he can't choose anything but fruit while they have all sorts of stodgy cakes/puddings. Either I have to abandon the plan, suck it up and send in all the stuff (including a homemade pudding) or make a formal complaint to the LA (have tried just emailing the top lady already). Sometimes this simple problem, which is so insignificant compared to those that my work families face, is very wearing and overwhelming. Sorry, sad and 'too-tired-to rant' rant over...

CP Good luck with your application - sounds very exciting (and slightly out of my league )Hope your lot are better soon. My DH seems to think that he must take to bed on the rare occasions he is ill, even if I am ill too and am left with both boys!! He likes to resurface every now and then to share the germs and/or show how poorly he is! I find it irritating too, but DH thinks I'm just crap at being sympathetic, having not received much as a child (or since) myself. Mous hope DD2 gets well soon too.

I'm sure there was more that I wanted to add in response but my brain is fast switching off (and I don't want to set myself a new record for the longest post!!) Hope you all have a good weekend. Dh and I actually have some time to go Chrostmas shopping tomorrow without the boys (thanks to the in-laws). Maybe we should just sit in a cafe all day and snore quietly in the corner?

p.s. BC DS1 had worms found during his colonoscopy last Christmas (I do know how to spell it really!) and we had no signs of anything in poo or from an itchy bottom. If he's itching, I'd treat you all anyway (as we have done recently), but I wouldn't say that all of those symptoms are from worms so best to keep an eye on him anyway.

I've checked the breastfeeding network leaflet about worm medication and it says that it should be fine even though not licenced for bf mums. The thing is you have to then keep your house scrupulously clean for the next 6 weeks to prevent re-infection from eggs lying about. I don't know if I could do that. I think I would go insane.

I am a bit worried about the hacking cough though - it has been going on for at least 2 months.

We had a horrible, horrible day today - constant whinging or crying or lying down in the street. Demanding treats/biscuits/juice and refusing his meals. I told him (calmly) that dinner would be finished at 5.30 and told him for the last 10 mins "You have 9 minutes to eat", "there's 8 mins left for dinner then I take it away" - he had 1 fine bean, a chunk of bread and 2 bites of pizza. The rest went in the bin. Of his packed lunch the only thing eaten was half a small cheese sandwich and a smoothie. Breakfast he ate about 10 grapes and none of the toast he asked for. He has never been fussy about food before - I don't get it.

Maybe because he sees me spoon feeding DD? (she has mainly stuff she can pick up but sometimes when I don't have anything appropriate I give her a pouch). Tonight she had fine beans and pizza crust so she had what we had and didn't get special attention.

It has been so horrible today, I have disliked being with him for a lot of it. Really had to cajole the odd smile/laugh out of him. I can't stand it.

Oh BC that sounds like a really horrible day. It's amazing how they can be lovely one day and horrid the next isn't it? DS2 was great yesterday and awful today. Maybe he is sickening for something, which might explain the lack of eating and behaviour. I hope tomorrow is better, or you at least have more back up.
On the worms front, I haven't really tried to keep our house any cleaner than usual and figure it's better to have an initial blitz on the worms than not treat at all.
Maybe time for a trip to the doctor about the cough?
Wishing you a good night and a much better day tomorrow.

Thanks and you - hope you get a good night too. Off to bed now, meant to go an hour ago... x

Two very unhappy children :(

Oh rubbish Bc - what a trying day. Sorry to hear about your problems bethy - the food thing sounds incredibly frustrating - and the night waking very tough, no wonder you're crying tired...

DD's sample came back clear so it IS a psychological thing, as I suspected. I've started a thread on it in Behaviour/Development to canvas for other ideas on how to deal with it.

I had worms as a child Bc - don't recall any special house-cleaning being needed though......

Gotta go...

And CP....

CP what's happening?

survival fx you can sort the lunch problems. How is your DS2 night terrors going?

SR every thing okay for you?

DS has a cold too which starts to be chesty... He is good but looking to push the boundaries every day. DH is back from his trip with a cold manflu

I've started the xmas cake decorations with DS (pix on fb). I also bought some Pixar Cars 2nd hand from a local fb selling page - they'll be great stocking fillers. We bought DS his main present - a micro scooter - thanks for the suggestions

Sending lot of get well spirit

brief moment of outright stomach churning full scale panic tonight at bedtime? took DS nappy off and there was just mucus? smelling exactly like after he stopped passing blood with the e.coli? back in control again now, found the perspective, sure it's all fine? but still?

it does sound rather like everyone's got a lot on at the moment :(