Please help! How do you manage when DH returns to work?

[joosiewoosie]

Hi all. Am new here. We have our beautiful 11 day old daughter (our first) and hubby returns to work in 3 days time. I had an Em C section and have been in and out of hospital until 2 days ago with high blood pressure (they've now put me on some tablets for the time being). This means that DH and I have only had a few days with our lovely new addition, before he needs to return to work.

Added to this, my left boob is cracked and pus-sy, so I'm struggling to feed consistently, but I really want to breastfeed. (It's so painful on that side that I'm in tears and my bp headache comes back whenever I do it).

I am blooming petrified about him returning to work, if I am honest. I can't drive due to the C section, and I'm worried I won't be able to manage.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom on any of the above fronts? Wise words most gratefully received to relieve some of my anxiety about it all! Thanks in advance folks.

PS I could not find a July 2012 thread - could someone link it for me if there is one? Ta.

It is scarey, but trust me, in two weeks you'll wonder why you worried.

My top tips:
If you want to shower and get dressed do it before DH leaves for work. Theres nothing worse than realising that its 4pm and your still in your PJs.

Prepare some snacks and lunch if you can while your DH is at home - I used to make a pasta salad or some sandwiches.

The good old saying is very important, sleep when she sleeps!

When your feeling a bit better and its a bit cooler, have a little walk - I did this every day when my first was tiny and if mine was still asleep Id park her in the garden and have a nice cuppa.

Sorry to hear that your having problems feeding, the fact that youre hanging in there is amazing, youre doing really well!

Congratulations by the way

My advice is good - but not that good!

More needed - Bump!

Hi
do you have any friends/ family to help out? If so do not feel guilty about asking them to do jobs/bring food/watch lo while you sleep, most people love to help/feel useful

make sure you eat- packed lunch is a good idea, eat whatever takes your fancy, internet shopping is great!

Have you thought about nipple shields? Not everyone likes them but they saved Bf for me, check out the feeding page on here for advice/support

Be kind to yourself- I shouted at ds 2 days into being home alone- exhausted mummy, grumpy baby and very sore nipples= meltdown! I went outside, took a deep breath and carried on five minutes later I couldn't believe I had ever been cross as he snuggled up in my lap for a nap- it gets so much easier so quickly, ds is 14 weeks and so much easier than at the beginning!

Keep changing stuff downstairs, also Moses basket/ pram downstairs for naps

never sit down to nurse without drink, snack, remote and computer handy!

And cuddle them as much as you can! Ds now want to be up and looking rather than snuggling, I kind of miss the snuggles!

For the first week after DH returned to work I went from only being on the bed (with snacks & supplies surrounding me) to gradually moving into the front room, then out of the house (after 2 weeks alone with DS).

Take it as slowly as you want too and don't feel like you 'need' to be doing anything else (we lived off microwave food & takeaways for the first 2 months), I still don't get dressed until we're about to leave the house (DS has a habit of throwing up when I put him in the buggy) so it's ok not to brush your hair for a few days!

Well done on continuing to breast feed, but if it's not working for you don't feel guilty.
I could only express so I gave up before DH returned to work so I didn't have to go through the annoyance & pain that is giving up breast feeding alone, plus it made looking after DS alot easier for me (DH made up feeds in the morning & I washed everything up when he got home).

Congrats on your DD & I hope you have an easy first few days.

My top top would be to try not to worry, and just believe that you will manage :) just don't try to do too much.

My little one has been home just over two weeks, DP at home first week then me solo.

I had to retrain myself to think that the most important things were feeding Minipop & settling him, expressing, eat & drink for me, then sleep. Everything else had to wait.

Get food in fridge that's easy to heat & eat, so you don't have to faff about. Or get DH to make it for you.

Organise willing friends to visit (with food) & get them to make you tea.

Don't feel bad if you don't get dressed or make it out the house. Sometimes it's just not possible.

Shower before DP goes to work or when he gets back.

You'll be amazed at the new skills you learn. I can now open my laptop & login with my foot :o

congrats on your little one.

Thank you all for your advice. It is nice to know that I am in good company in feeling apprehensive about it, but that somehow I will survive!
I will take the boob pain and deal with it the best I can with the help of Lansinol and cabbage leaves! I hope it repairs soon, then I've half a chance of feeding with some success and feeling better about everything else.
I will try all the practical tips offered here, and hopefully report back when I feel I'm coping. Cheers x