Sorry not sure what topic to post this in. My baby was born five months ago. On the first night she was fine one minute and the next minute started choking - the midwife happened to be nearby and hit the crash button and ran with her to the resusitation room, saying she had turned blue. I thought she was being sick and hadn;t even realised it was something serious. I sat on my bed for several minutes thinking she had died when I realised I could unhook my catheter and go and find her. I fully expected to be told she had died when I found her in a sideroom with midwives - her chest had been suctioned but she was fine.
I thought I had dealt with this and am just thankful to have a healthy baby who made it, especially as I have a friend with a seriously ill baby at the moment. Also she had health difficulties to begin with and an operation at 3 months old so I concetrated on that. Now she is five months old and happy, healthy and an absolute delight. Yet today, and admittedly we had a bad night last night and I am very tired today, I just started crying about it and feel dreadful. I don't think my dh, who was at home when it happened because he'd gone home for the night, gets how awful it was because by the time I told him the next morning he knew she was okay, whereas I had spent several minutes thinking she wasn't.
Any advice for working through this please?