January 2011

[MacMomo]

Thought we should have a post-natal thread so we can stay together from our ante-natal one. Technically, DD was a December baby after coming early on new years eve; hope you don't mind if I stay with the January group after all this time. How is everyone doing?

smallsniffle what sling do you use?

readyornot wow - a date! how exciting! I can't wait to wear heels and go out somewhere that we don't have to check for a childrens menu/change room/highchairs etc!

walkthegod thanks for the quiet box idea - DD1 doesn't know the meaning of the word quiet but I have got a few books that she likes to read together. Had a breakthrough this morning and baby slept on her own upstairs in moses basket for a 30 minute nap with monitor! Progress people!!!

I use a kari-me, I did have a ring sling originally (the one shoulder type) but it got really uncomfortable really quickly. When I first went to baby group I saw someone else with a kari-me, came home, told DP I had sling envy and he ordered one for me .
I also have a patapum as the stretchy slings don't work as well when they're older.
I used to hang around the sling topic quite a lot and there's loads of good advice there. I only discovered after ordering it that the kari-me is just one long piece of material and some instructions for tying it, you could just get a length of stretchy material much cheaper. I also have instructions to make a mai-tei so I can have something in funkier colours than the patapum - however I've had them printed off and sitting in a drawer for 2 years now so I might not get round to it before DS2 is too old for slings...

Hi all!

Is the kari me a good bet for a sling then smallsniffle? Is it good for bfing? I get nothing done atm so really think I need to get one!

Glad to hear you're all getting there! Quick update from me:

DD has had tough time since birth with sleeping, constant screaming especially during/after feeds etc. Diagnosed with reflux, using combination of colief and gaviscon means that finally we are getting a few hours sleep at night and dd is a bit happier - finally smiling regularly! She also has a tongue tie which was only spotted by HV at clinic at 6 weeks. Discussed with GP who said it wouldn't be causing problems and shouldn't be corrected, however as she IS having problems, HV referred me to BF expert at hospital who immmediately said it is likely to be the root of her problems and she is now having it snipped on Monday. Hoping it will improve things. Not looking forward to it though as it sounds brutal - they just snip it with no anaesthetic! I will cry more than her I think...

God this parenting lark is hard! Finally turning a corner I feel!

Oh and I had an interview for a medical school today and was offered a place! Had already done two years, but wanted to transfer to new one as I moved to be with dp and have dd! Pretty chuffed as both our families are local. God is was weird though, me in my suit with my engorged boobs threatening to leak everywhere! First time I've felt like a person in my own right since having dd! Now got to get everything in place to start in September...

Hi! Lurking every day here enjoying the updates! Going to pluck peter out to feed him now before I get into bed as he has been in his own bed since 8 and is sucking in his sleep! Has a current routine of waking for feeding at 11pm, 2am and 5am which is not great!

I think I am going to try a kari me sling too while he is tiny. Ergo is good but can't get comfortable with the infant insert so will try it again when he is bigger. He loves sling time though so hopefully will like kari me too.

Macmomo your post re giant turbo tit made me laugh out loud while cuddling DS1 on sofa, he asked what was funny too but I didn't tell him! I have similar problem but not as bad, abundant milk supply in one side and probably one cup size bigger. I am starting feeds maybe twice as often on smaller side to keep supply stimulated. Had same problem with DS1.

Msscarlett congratulations on your medical school!

Walkthedog congratulations on wedding - lovely news!

Readyornot where up north are you? I am yorkshire expat in tyne and wear.

Ps i am slight technophobe and don't know how to make names bold when posting from phone-sorry-its a bit annoying! Hoping for good nights for everyone!

Crumblequeen how old is your ds? My dd is nearly 8 weeks and since we have been medicating her reflux she has slept most nights from 10pm til 5am! (Previously she was settling for 40-60 mins at the most!) It seems a long time to go between feeds but she doesn't seem to be suffering for it, she is still gainig lots of weight and all of us are a lot happier for the extra sleep! I would leave him to sleep if I were you, he might surprise you, though not sure if this is contraversial?! .

Also, I have one huge tit! It has always been very slightly bigger, but in pg and while bf it has grown disproportionately to the other! When I had my nursing bra fitting the woman asked me if that was the one I was due to feed from next, but I explaine dthat it was always bigger than the other! I reckon there is at least a cup size difference there too. I hope that when they shrink back, the difference becomes less!

MsScarlett I adore my Kari Me, I got mine on Ebay for about £25. I've not managed the BF position, I just tend to put DD2 in the upright, tummy facing position and she goes straight to sleep after a feed. In fact, I think she hasn't managed a daytime nap in her moses basket yet as I always put her in the sling as she sleeps longer in there.

DD2 is 5 weeks today. Will probably go and get her weighed next week, I am so lax! Doing great and she is now settling about 8, 9pm, going through to about 1.30 am, having another feed about 4.30 and then getting up round about 7am when the whirlwind of DD1 appears. She is still quite a good sleeper during day if I am holding her or she is in sling. She feeds, looks about for an hour or so and then goes to sleep.

It's only been the past couple of days I have seen her begin to lengthen the gap between her daytime feeds. She was a real snacker before but has just began to show signs of going every 3 hours between daytime feeds. However, my motto is "if in doubt, get 'em out" so if she whimpers I always offer the boob and she invariably has a little drink.

Typing with one hand here and need to go and get dinner on. Lovely to read all your stories!!

I have a Kari-me type; but I find that DD slips down as I go for a walk. It is made of stretchy t-shirt like cotton, and just seems to get loose. Does that also happen with the Kari-me? I have been lent this one, so not too worried about buying a Kari-me if needs be.

What do you think Kari-me fans?

I have one boob bigger than they other. I call it my Major (in a ridiculous Spanish accent) and the smaller one is Minor (again said with Spanish accent). Seems less bad since I had DD. Was fairly uneven between babes.

MsScarlett Wow! I'm impressed tnat you've got into medical school once already and even more impressed that you're managing successful interviews at the moment. Sounds like you have avoided baby brain .

I'm glad I'm not the only one who hasn't managed to bf in a kari-me blanche, I only did the front carry with DS1 because I got the sling when he was a bit older and already too big for the newborn carry. A big part of the reason I got the sling was seeing someone else make bfing look so easy in it but it didn't really matter if I sat around feeding and then popped him in the sling after so I wasn't too bothered when I couldn't manage bfing in the sling. I've tried harder to make it work with DS2 but his head seems to be too high and I'm not sure why . I might have to have another go because it would make life so much easier if I could feed him and run round after DS1 at the same time.

sarrita I would say the kari-me is thicker than t-shirt material so might have slightly less give in it. Depending how well used it's been yours might have lost some of it's elasticity or you might need to tie it a bit tighter (there are good demo videos on you-tube so you can check your technique). It might be worth trying a carrier like the ergo or patapum if wrap slings don't do it for you.

crumblequeen I think you do lose a lot of functions on a phone but I'm too much of a technophobe to get my phone to do the internet at all so you're still doing well .

DS2 appears to be having yet another growth spurt, all he's wanted to do all day is feed. Unfortunately I wanted to try out the double buggy as I only picked it up last night (ebay purchase), he screamed every time he went in it . Hoping tomorrow goes a bit better...

Msscarlett DS2 is 5 weeks, I decided to leave him in the end last night as was too busy posting my message here but he didn't disappoint and woke at 11.30! Really hoping the 3 night feeds become 2 soon. My tolerance for the noise and shouting of DS1 diminishes the more tired I become!

Got my kari me sling from eBay today so really looking forward to trying it.

DS2 much prefers sling sleeping during day to being put down and I am quite enjoying it as am sure he will be my last baby so its nice to keep him close! Also don't need to worry about DS1 assaulting him while he is sleeping somewhere.

How is everyone's toddler behaviour going? Ds1 seems to have settled down a lot now and is much happier generally. It's nice as the house is a much happier place in general too, there is nothing like a difficult toddler to ring down morale!

Crumblequeen, agree entirely! We are all smiling a lot more now we have sunny toddler back!
Am jealous at all this talk of routines! Ds is 7 weeks but wakes whenever he feels like it, random and often! Feeds up to 18 times a day, little short feeds sometimes...

Congratulations MsScarlett Good luck with the tongue tie. When DD had a blood test in her 2nd week I cried and cried but you just need to remind yourself it's for the best.

readyornot date

MacMomo the settle thing baffles me too. I don't understand how you're supposed to settle them in a cot especially when they settle so quickly on boob or on you. DD just wakes up unless she is fast asleep when she's popped into her cot.

After our horrid week of DD spending hours and hours (9 hours was the longest) wide awake it seems we have turned a corner. She's starting to cry when she gets tired which (I know this will bite me in the arse saying this) is better as at least she knows she's tired so she's more willing to settle. Last two nights DD has gone to sleep at 9:30, woken at 2:30 and then again at 7. I'm trying to bring the bedtime forward but we'll just have to see how that goes.

My biggest problem though is feeding to sleep and comfort sucking. DD loves it and I really don't enjoy it at all. Love BFing but comfort sucking makes my toes curl and she wont take a dummy at all.

smallsniffle I DO have baby brain which made the whole thing all the more surreal. I just felt like a complete fraud and that I shouldn't be there! I guess I just did a good job of pretending! I still don't feel like a capable human being just yet, but I hope by September I'll be feeling a bit more raring to go. I know it is the best in the long run for all our futures so I just want to get stuck in and finish my degree so I can start earning a decent wage for the first time in my life!

Thanks beijing! comfort sucking also makes me sore! Though in retrospect I don't think my dd's latch has ever been quite right due to the tongue tie. My dd also had trouble with a dummy (again tongue tie prob didn't help) but with some perseverance she does now take it occassionally if she's in the right mood. She can't hold the orthodontic teats at all but she just about manages with a cherry teat - have you tried one?

Thanks blanche I may purchase a kari-me soon...

Oh well crumblequeen! I'm sure he'll sort himself out eventually and go a bit longer! I never thought my dd would but she is getting better every day thank god!

Hello all,

another one-handed typer here, apologies if spelling is bad!
Well DD2 4wk4dys today. feeding going well, managed to stretch to about 2 hours in day, sometimes 2.5 if sleepy, but night time is a whole other story. most nights she's settling about 9pm and then waking around 2 and 6. ( nothing like DD1 who never did this until about 4-5 months! )
But last night she didn't settle til 2230, but did'nt wake til 5am! fluke springs to mind, she was sooo tired from having such a windy evening.

I too am considering a kari-me. baby bjorn doesn't seem snuggly enough as her arms and legs are exposed.

DD1 (2y8mo) is being a little rascal at the moment. trying lots of new naughty things out to see if she can make my head explode with her behaviour, i'm sure.
I know she's just trying to get attention and whenever baby not in my arms I make a point out if cuddling DD1 and making a fuss of her but the guilt is sometimes overwhelming when I cant play/pick her up and she's asking me too
Half term has made it even more intense as she's not been going to groups and creche. roll on next week

Happy toddler service has been resumed here as well, it does make such a difference. Up until this week I didn't really trust DS1 anywhere near DS2 but this week he's been having his first proper cuddles (I've uploaded a pic to my profile as it's so cute) and the only problem has been persuading him to give DS2 back. Tetty things might improve soon - I know they don't all follow the same schedule but your DD2 is one of the youngest on the thread and a week or two is a long time for a toddler.

We're still on 1-2ish hourly feeding by day, cluster feeding most evenings and 2-3ish hourly at night [yawn]. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to the length of feeds or the spacing yet but I'm sure it'll happen eventually.

DS1 would only take a cherry dummy and they discontinued the only type he would consider, we had a huge struggle to make him take a different sort and he still has one for sleeping now. So far I haven't tried to give one to DS2 because it turned out to be such a PITA with DS1!

DD1 is still being a bit naughty here. I think, however, it is a combination of my patience level being at an all time low and she feeling pushed out a bit with DD2 who spends 24 hours with me (we co sleep, DH in spare room, or she is in a sling or on my knee). Yesterday was the first time I left DD2, and that was only for 30 minutes to take DD1 to Sainsburys for a few bits.

I'm trying to focus on the positive behaviour from DD1 but I am struggling with the general two year old defiance, etc. We can be having a lovely time colouring or playing and then it just instantly sours when she hits, draws on sofa, etc, etc. I know she isn't being malicious or manipulative but I find it hard. All she must hear from DH and I at the moment is "no, no no..." .

Just trying for lots of cuddles and nice snuggles when I have the time.

smallsniffle I tried with a dummy here but she was having none of it! Never had one with DD1 but this little lady likes to comfort suck for hours before bedtime and my nips aren't as keen.

I had felt everything was settling down nicely a few days ago - getting out and about with two of them, managing bedtimes/getting ready on morning better and having ok, if not great, sleeps. Now in state of total exhaustion and think I really must be doing something wrong...he wakes up every 40 mins to an hour at night at the moment crying. Have tried a dummy, which he likes during the day, but at night he screams till he is fed, then only feeds for minutes at a time. His longest feeds are under 10 mins, have not worried about it till now as think have fast let-down as I feel boob more or less empties each time (he never takes second side). He is a big baby and piling on the weight, heavy nappies and bright yellow poos, so he is well. He can do 3.5 hours sleep, he was doing it before at night. Sleeping better during day at moment, but really had felt had cracked day and night over last 2 or 3 weeks. I keep interaction to minimum etc, only vital nappy changes etc. Had got him out of our bed into his cot. Just not sure why the sleeps are all going wrong now. Anyone got any advice/ideas??

hi, wow loads of reading - also typing one handed - lettind DD comfort suck on pinkie-she is in pram and has just woken from a very short nap screaming, she did that yesterday twice, she is settling back to sleep again.

Haven't had any probs with kari-me once know how to wrap it, but do wonder how it will be as DD gets heavier. Not tried BF with it. tetty have sling similar to baby bjorn and I didn't feel it was secure enough, think it'll be fine once she is a bit bigger.

deedee DD only feeds for a short time too, and as your LO is putting on weight etc wouldn't worry about that. Maybe he is going through a growth spurt and just needs more food. You could try comfort sucking on your pinkie, or gentle tapping on chest with "shh" sounds while still in cot, he maybe just needs some reassurance. We now have got DD into crib next to bed, (so I can very easily reach in to), and couple of times she has woken up and I've managed to get her to return to sleep by doing those things, other times food is what she needs, might only take about 2-3mins worth though so she might not really be hungry, just a bit of close comfort.

blanchedeveraux think most people go through same thing as you with DD1 and new baby, I know my friend had problems with her DD biting DS. If you are worried about the "no" . Friends in NZ are advised to try not to use the word no but turn it into a positive statement i.e. You draw on paper not on the walls. Not sure how it works in practise over 24hours though!

smallsniffle good to hear things going well with DS1.

bejingaling your DD night sleep pattern similar to mine. Also had the hours of her being awake through the day. Only over last week can we occ get her to lie down without being completely asleep. We also are starting to get the tired cry, and other tired signs.

got to go she is wide awake now

We had a bit of regression last night here too. DD wouldn't settle at all and has continued the same all day. She is knackered! Plus she had her tongue tie done today so she is fussing at feeds as she must be a bit sore. Deedee, I don't have any adviceI'm afraid, but lets just hope it's a blip and things settle down again soon. x

deedee google dr jack Newman and read his stuff. If you still don't have a clue, email him. I did, and I got a reply overnight. Amazing! You might find breast compressions help - as the swallowing slows down they keep the flow going, this can help keep baby interested and if he feeds for longer he is more likely to get milk with higher fat content which may satisfy him for longer. But that dr saved me, he's a genius!

MacMomo, thanks so much for fab advice and link - had never heard of him, great to get the info. Had called NCT Breastfeeding helpline and been advised the same thing, something I'd never have thought of. Last night was lots better, think was combination of AIMING for 3-hourly feeds (dug out the Baby Whisperer book, used bits from it with dd), slightly longer feeds with breast compressions and the end of crazy growth spurt. But approaching tonight with no expectations, just hope!!
On the plus side, dd has achieved pees in the potty today

Also thanks walkthedog for ideas on how to avoid such frequent feeds - think getting them out of routine of being fed the min they waken is also key...though not easy when you're praying they don't wake the toddler!!

Stopped swaddling ten days ago because DD cries a lot about it. Went from sleeping 6-7hrs to sleeping 4-5 hrs. Swaddled again last night...8 hrs! I think we will be swaddling for a while yet!

Gave two lectures this week - the only ones planned for this year mind. DD went to childminder and took a bottle of expressed milk (8wks). She did of course wake up at 2.30 and hourly there after last night - but I am so used to being sleep deprived and I new the subject well so it was fine.

Got up the road and realised I had left to give a lecture in a grey sweater with no breast pads! Had to go all the way home. Can you imagine. I actually dripped milk onto my mother-in-law the other day while serving her tea as I had forgotten to put pads in.

Now planning DS's 4th Birthday party on Saturday. Luckily sharing it with a friend. I would like to make a pirate birthday cake. Any good tips welcome.

Must must go to bed.

MAcMOmo we swaddle at night too and she sleeps much longer. We use a 'swaddleme' which makes it easier.

Have been tying Kari-me type sling tighter and discovered I didn't have it on right. It's now brilliant, although I still get sore back and neck. DD loves it and sleeps almost instantly in it.