January 2011

[MacMomo]

Thought we should have a post-natal thread so we can stay together from our ante-natal one. Technically, DD was a December baby after coming early on new years eve; hope you don't mind if I stay with the January group after all this time. How is everyone doing?

[Ladyopheliastar]

Thanks for the welcome, it is good to know we are not alone. Having my first baby has been one hell of a shock despite planning for him and doing all the research reading I could. I never imagined how all consuming a baby can be or how traumatising the birth could be! They really do change everything!

[readyornot2011]

Ladyopheliastar it gets easier and more'normal' honest!

Started a new regime last night in a bid to regain a little bit of us time and the use of my arms. We put her in her moses basket upstairs after her early evening feed and used the monitor (movement & sound). Usually she lies in our arms all evening but after a few evenings & nights of grumpiness we decided that wasn't working. Anyway it seemed to work well, she settled easily after all her night feeds and we enjoyed our dinner and a recording of Glee in peace. Also it was nice to have a relaxed bedtime with her already asleep rather than it being all about feeding and settling. We also went back to swaddling her because she kept waking herself up, that seems to have worked well too. We have tried having her basket in the living room with us until bedtime but she won't settle.

What do other people do in the evening?

Also what do people do about changing nappies at night. Rosa doesn't yell for night feeds she just wakes up and snuffles & makes sucking noises until I wake up & feed her. So she stays very relaxed and then gradually falls back to sleep during the feed, but when I change her she's wide awake again & sometimes yells, after which its hard to settle her even if I top her up from the other boob whereas if I just feed & burp her, I can literately just put her in the basket and she sleeps. So I must admit if I'm really tired & I know she hasn't done a poo I don't bother with a change everytime, is that bad? On that sacred day when she finally sleeps through she won't get changed... Again I'd be interested to hear what other people do?

Thanks for reading my long post, hope today is a 'good day' for everyone

[crumblequeen]

Readyornot re bedtime-peter stays upstairs with light out once we have put ds1 to bed, sometimes I have to stay too for an hour if he is not quite ready to settle as he hasn't fallen into a routine of timing sleeps and feeds yet but I still think it will get him used to day/night difference quicker even if he doesn't sleep straight away. Peter has been settling for a couple of hours in eve too so I have been going to bed early to bank some sleep, I forgot how awful the sleep deprivation is and I have 3yo ds1 full time so cant get any rest during days.

Wandering round house with peter in new ergo baby carrier at mo while DH and DS1 play train track upstairs! Peter fell straight asleep in it so he likes it so far!

DS1 has had a great week, behaviour much better now its just the three of us with no one else in house, maybe he just wanted things back to normal, although normal does now include baby of course!

Splodge sorry arnie still not well.

Ladyophelia yes its a huge shock! In a few months you won't remember life without dc though!

[crumblequeen]

Ps no way do I change nappies in night unless there is a poo, and they are pretty noisy so I usually know! And i don't even change a poo after 5.30am until DS1 wakes up as the risk of waking him up at that time just too big as he would be up for the day!

[wintersniffle]

DS2 is still down with us in the evening, I like being able to give him a bit of exclusive time after DS1 goes to bed. Most evenings he cluster feeds so I'd have to be up there too if he was upstairs but so far tonight he has mainly slept which makes me wonder whether it is time to start more of a bedtime routine. I think I'll probably see how tomorrow goes because one night doesn't necessarily mean he's started a new routine!

With DS1 we changed his nappy at every feed, DS2 is on a more neglectful relaxed schedule and only changed if he's pooed. Once DS1 slept through we certainly didn't wake him for nappy changes and it doesn't seem to have done him any harm .

splodge I hope Arnie is getting better.

DP goes back to work tomorrow so it's my first full day with both DSs. Even with 2 of us some days it's taken ages to get out the house so I'm just hoping it all goes smoothly.

[beijingaling]

Just want to say I love all the baby names!

kiwi my DD has also found her lungs and now let's us know when she's pissed off. Yyyaaaaaay

readyornot DD is the same for nappy changes. I don't change her at night unless I'm sure she's pooped, she's uncomfy or the nappy feels heavy. In the day I change her after feeds but at night I change her before so the feed relaxes her.

Re bedtime we are all over the place for sleep and feeds at night. I'm now not waking her unless she is sucking etc in the hope that will make her sleep more. At the moment I wake her up and usually can't get her back to sleep after. Bloody nightmare as she gets more and more tired.

[Jobi1]

Its a nightmare when they start resisting sleep!

Having just (bottle) fed Nathan at 3am & 7am, I can't believe the difference! 7am all relaxed & guzzled it down. 3am fussy, limbs flailing & a real struggle. I don't get it! A lot of night feeds are like this, almost as if he doesn't want it, but I'm feeding him on demand! I suppose its wind, and he settles ok afterwards, but it makes night feeds even less enjoyable. Anyone any ideas?

[sarrita]

Hope you are all exercising your pelvic floors!

Last night was hell. She screamed from midnight till 3.30am. I got DH to come through a 1.30. He stayed with her till 3.30 and was in a serious grump this am.

She is exhausted now from the nighttime shenanigans.

I think it is definitely caused by wind. My friend is going to show me another technique where you lie baby on your legs and roll them. Will let you know how if it works.

I also find that over stimulation causes it. So if DD is in a noisy, brightly lit space at bed time - i.e 7pm onwards - she gets upset. If I bring her into bed and give her a big feed in the relative calm away from noise DS etc she seems to have a better night.

Last night DH insisted on watching Die Hard 4 in our bedroom (where TV is) I am sure this contributed to her unsettledness.

Re nighttime nappy change I don't unless it is dirty.

She wakes... have to dash.

[wintersniffle]

jobi I like to think making the night feeds less enjoyable is nature's way of persuading babies to give them up quicker (please DS2!).

sarrita that sounds like an awful night.

DS2 has been vomiting an awful lot today. He was restless 5-7am but not making enough noise for me to bother standing up and turning the lights on to see how he was doing. At 7 when I did get up I discovered he was lying in a puddle of sick, it did make me feel like a fairly useless parent, even more so because exactly the same thing happened with DS1 so I really should have thought about checking a bit quicker but he wasn't making that much noise. He's not normally very sicky but that seems to have set the tone for the day, he finally went to sleep after projectile vomiting all over me.

I'm now worried that he won't sleep well tonight as he's been asleep for so much of the evening and slightly worried that he's sleeping more than usual as he's poorly , can't win really!

[splodge77]

glad to read these comments about night nappy changes. I was just having similar concerns. Arnie hates being changed and screams his head off - he doesnt cry much otherwise so i find nappy changes rather stressful! i dont change him every feed in the night, only if i've heard a poo. Relieved to hear others do the same.

[Jobi1]

Just wondering how those with older kids settle little ones for naps? Now he's past that newborn sleepy stage he doesn't settle so easily and DS1 is very noisy! I get fed up of trying to settle him upstairs as I end up backwards & forwards like a yoyo. Any tips?

[Jobi1]

Finally got him off after next feed and managed to move carry cot into dining room so the poor mite can get some rest without being disturbed by no naps shouty 3 year old! Gosh I feel tired and grumpy today! I'm actually considering being brave and trying to take them both for a walk. Just got to choore between buggy board and wrist strap with bag pram or toddler in buggy and baby in babybjorn. Decisions!

[blanchedevereaux]

Jobi1 I am resorting to put Abigail into a sling as DD1 just goes up to moses basket and shouts "Wake UP!" at any opportunity. It also means I don't have to worry about popping out the room and leaving them both alone (DD1 is 2) as the risk of DD1 presenting/assaulting Abigail with a toy is too high at the moment.

How did the walk go? I've not managed to get out in the fresh air for a walk on my own with them both yet as it just seems like a lot of hard work to get everyone ready and I have a 2 year old that makes getting dressed a huge battle.

We seem to be on another growth spurt with feeding pretty much all day. Glad DD1 is at nursery. I forgot how hard these days are, can't get a thing done!

[beijingaling]

Winter sniffle is ds2 feeling better and over the vomiting?

Jobi1 I'm blowed if I know how to get DD to sleep even without a toddler. Shell go 4 to 5 hours with only a 20 minute cat nap and becomes increasingly tired and unable to settle because of it. I'm at my wits end. I obsessively wrote down how long she sleeps for and im lucky if it's 15 hours a day which is too little.

I have a problem ladies. DD only wants to fall asleep on my boob which I hate to the point that it makes me want to stop bfing. My choice seems to be an overly tired baby off boob or falling asleep on boob.

[Jobi1]

Hi beijing :o) 15 hours seems just fine to me, well within normal range. To solve comfort sucking issue why not use a dummy? Its natural for babies to suck for comfort & easier to control and stop than thumb sucking.

[beijingaling]

Is it really? I thought all the bloody books said they should get more like 18!!

Anyone else being horribly pfbish?

DD won't take a dummy at all job1 as she just gags.

Now Shhhhhh you lot. DD has just dropped off with no help at all!

[Jobi1]

I think 14-18 is normal, and there will always be those who don't conform.

What does that mean?!

Great she's just gone off! It can take a while for them to get hang of dummy, and worth trying different ones.

[beijingaling]

Pfb= perfect first born.

Pfbish is behavior likely to cause mirth in others such as obsessively documenting exactly how much sleep your pfb has had etc.

May well check other dummies.

[Jobi1]

Haha, well its second time around for me, so I have Pfsb behaviour. I think you're supposed to be more relaxed, but I spend about a week obsessively noting feeding times and amounts!! Mad.

[MacMomo]

oh god - also guilty! am noting on my iphone every sleep and wake time...at least I have stopped recording feeding times and nappy changes

Seem to have silent reflux here. totally gutted for the little thing, really thought we were going to escape more easily! She sleeps 5-6 hrs at night, then 3 hrs through to 9/10 am, then barely sleeps all day and feeds small amounts, constantly. Hates to lie down on her back. Hope it's temporary.

Is anyone else thinking of using reusable nappies? I planned to, but am putting it off until things settle down a bit more.

splodge how's Arnie doing?

[wintersniffle]

Another one here! I practically had a spreadsheet for DS1, columns for feeds, sleeps and poos . I'm not sure whether DS2 will feel like a NSB (neglected second born) or just be relieved that he escaped the obsessive recording! I was looking at the DS1 diary while I was pregnant and thinking I should throw this away but I couldn't quite bear to part with it - I have an image of myself becoming the kind of terrible mother who shows it to his girlfriends one day...

DS2 seems fine, throwing up doesn't seem to bother him at all but the amounts were much larger than usual. I'm not entirely past the worrying about perfectly normal behaviour stage so maybe DS2 isn't that neglected.

[pacita]

LOL, I hear you all ladies, noting sleeps and feeds was my pet obsession with my first (and I still do it for my second), only this time round I use a brilliant Iphone app to do it.

Try this:

apps.milocreative.com/milkmonitorapp/

[sarrita]

Never noted sleeps or feeds. Firstborn easier than 2nd so far.

I just spent from 9 till past 11 bouncing her. She will no doubt wake now.

Did not use a dummy with 1st; am with 2nd. And yes - it takes some perseverance, but hours of screaming is making me more patient.

Had lovely day with DH. In laws flew back home this am - DS went to Childminder, and DH and I went for a delicious meal. Then we watched the Kings Speech and DD slept through it with the odd whimper/sucky noise/grunt. DH said I was very moody when pregnant and it was miserable for him. It is true, but I feel so much better now, so hopefully it will be for him. Realise I do love him after all...

reusable nappies I used a laundry service with DS. They went bust. Will do it with DD when the weather is better and I can hang them outside. It's not that bad -honest. You only every stockpile one load and then it's in the wash. We used prefolds and they were great - very simple and effective and cheap compared to the fancy nappy ones.

DH lurking and this is private for me... Best go.