June 2008: new year, new diets, new resolutions, but when push comes to shove creme eggs are still the solution!

[KnittingRocks]

Sorry, couldn't cope with Christmas anymore!

Constant low level annoyances is so right. Tonight I had to hold C down twice to get her nappy changed and twice to get her PJs on. I then had to lie down next to her for an hour before she went to sleep, and return her to bed about 15 times. I really, really hope this gets easier!

She is cute though, if a bit too self-sufficient for her own good. She answered the door to the milkman with no top on and told him he was a "good milkman". He always comments when she answers the door in bare feet, so goodness knows what he thought of a half-naked child in the middle of winter. At lunchtime dp went to get her lunch and she told him "Got lunch, daddy" - she'd got hungry so got the step, climbed up to the bread bin, got the new bread out, opened it and took a couple of slices through to the living room.

Also - is it normal that she is trying to learn headstands?? She keeps launching herself off my lap head first and I have to hold her ankles as she balances on her head. She is now insisting I hold only one leg as she is building up confidence.

Hate to be the voice of doom, but I found it so much easier being pregnant with a toddler than I am finding it ATM. But I am also feeling homesick which doesn't help much.

This will pass, this will pass, this will pass....right?

Penguin I'm sorry you are finding it tough. Being pregnant with a toddler I found more physically demanding. But life with a toddler and a baby I find more emotionally difficult as you have two little people's needs to balance. Having had as c-section and a vbac I can now appreciate just how much harder it is after the section, so you have to contend with that too. Homesickness is horrible (I had that too when I lived in Oz). It's still early days though isn't it (4 weeks ish?). I would try not to expect too much of yourself.

I meant to say the other day that it is possible to nap in the day: feed the baby, put the TV on, have the toddler cuddling you, and you hold on to an ankle or something whilst you put your head back sonthat if the toddler moves you wake up: I can grab the odd 20-30mins like that!

So, yes it will pass.

Hmm - don't feel like I have said anything useful, only spelt out to you what you already know - sorry.

I think it is useful Spider. Sometimes you just need to know that someone understands what you are going through.

Systems, handstands! Ha ha no I don't think its normal but c isn't normal is she but then who'd want normal! She sounds like a real character. When the DTs do cute things it makes it all worth it. There is lots of low-level annoyance but also lots of good stuff too.

It's great when you work out what they are saying ie esther always asks for the 'fat control' - they have lots of thomas trains but no fat controller so I wondered for ages what it was she was asking for. I worked out the other day it is the remote control

It's called the cemote montrol in this house - by all of us now!

Systems J is obsessed with forward rolls at the moment. He does them on the floor, the sofa, anywhere. I am a bit worried he is going to break his neck but, fingers crossed, hopefully they will move onto something less physically demanding soon!

T does forward rolls, too. She also does handstands which involve putting her hands on the floor, sticking her bum in the air and raising one leg.
Not been on much as my internet connection is being strange.

good to hear from you Rolf realised yesterday you hadn't been on much, hope all is OK!

You're up early SA!

I think it's a problem with the airport utility we have (is it obvious I have no idea what I'm talking about?). It's very annoying but made me realise how much time I spend fannying around on the computer .

We've had the thrill of school exams so been very pre-occupied. I don't like this stage - too many big scary decisions to make, and my boys growing up. DS1 is ready to leave primary school but I'm not sure I'm ready.

We've had some sleep success! Last night P slept through to 6. We told him to go back to sleep and he stayed in bed till after 7. W also managed 6.5 hours from 11.30-6.00. Systems the evening you had with C sounds exactly like P was throughout January. I thought you might be interested to hear that instigating rapid return since Wednesday night led to the breakthrough. Let me know if more details would be helpful. Obviously one swallow does not make a Spring but I feel like there are some signs of hope.

Spider yes please, I have been doing a lot of returning her to her bed but think I must be doing something wrong which is making it not 'rapid return' as we have been doing it for months now!

Rolf early indeed, ds has been up since 5, just hoping they will both have a bit of a nap now ... this is why evenings being crocked is such an arse 'cos I don't get much time either end of the day.

Had some Food Sense success this week - Theo has eaten veggie sausages, cheese and baked beans and esther has tried cheese (didn't like it) and cashew nuts which is great cos I always worry about her not eating enough protein. The big difference is they now eat meals sat at the table not in their high chairs and they choose the foods they want from what I put on the table. So I always make something they like eg pasta and carrots and something they don't normally eat eg sausages and hope for the best! It seems to be working, they are trying new things all the time. It can be a bit of a stress sometimes tho if they just keep getting down from the table. And the other day I turned the telly off just as I was putting tea out cue major meltdown for about five mins and tea ruined .

Quick post - Neenz, we had a lot of problems with S having a tantrum when putting the telly off to go for dinner. We've had some success over the last week by either avoiding tv just before dinner, or setting up a favourite programme on pause ready to watch after dinner. S now knows that if he sits nicely at the table for dinner he can then watch an episode of something after dinner with a yoghurt.

We've had my eight year old niece here for the weekend - two children is exhausting!!!

Thank you Spider - your daytime napping solution made me laugh out loud.

Just having a 4 week "this won't last for ever, will it?" freak out. Already forgetting that this time last week I couldn't actually walk around the block and just one week later I want life to be normal again.

Amber - How are you coping?

Neenz - I like the PDF book you linked to on FB about whining. Did it work with Theo? I'd love to try it on Ry but I think he's been through enough upheaval for a bit.

Although dealing with the same issues as Systems, I am almost ready to potty train R even if he isn't. Fed up of fighting every nappy change. Although R is very funny blaming F for all 'smells and poos'. All I hear is 'baby poo, not me'.

All the acrobatics sound fun!

I'm really confused about the potty training tbh. Yesterday while I was in the shower C came in, announced she needed a wee, took her nappy off, sat on the potty, got up, got a clean nappy out of the cupboard, pulled it on and wandered off. She must be ready surely! And yet still, she has never managed to get anything actually in the potty .... I think it will only take once or twice before she gets it.

It does reassure me to know that we are not the only household where nappy changing is a battle.

Oh yes - every nappy change is a battle here too.

Maya the nap solution works seriously!

Systems with P's sleep despite him being a chronically early riser, before W was born he was brilliant about going to bed - put him in his cot and walk out. So, since W, everything else unravelled - firstly waking in the night. At Xmas he was given a duvet from my Dad with our blessing and once under the duvet he realised he could get out of the cot, so then our hand was forced into moving him to the bed. This was fine for a week and then going to bed became a nightmare all through January. One night last week it took P and hour with DH to settle. It suddenly occurred to me that this was crazy as he used to go to bed so brilliantly and now he was begging for books and us not to leave him. Maybe he was playing us and we needed to break the cycle. We tried rapid return with no eye contact or conversation, just in and out v quickly. There is also a gate on P's door as we cant get a gate on the top of the stairs. When P was leaping out of bed before we could get out of the room I switched to controlled crying at the gate for 5 mins with a view to increasing the time by a minute, but we didnt need to go to more than 6 mins. The other elements are a gro clock (another Xmas present) so we can say stay in bed until the sun. Finally the clincher at the weekend was bribing p with the promise of burger and chips in a restaurant with Mummy and Daddy if he stayed in bed until the sun.

Hope that makes sense. Ask if not - on I phone and I can smell two nappies that need changing!!

Ah. A gate. Therein lies the rub. Caitlin would be up and over a gate like a rat up a drainpipe. I am rather tempted by the solution in the book "Toddler Taming" - using a rope to tie the door not-quite-closed, so she's not shut in, but can't get out. But this is immediately followed by a scary story about one of their boys getting his head stuck in the gap, which has always put me off!

It has been an hour or more to get here settled here since I don't know when. Since she started vaulting out of the cot some months ago, I think. I think she is playing us - in fact, I know she is playing us, most of the time in fact .

The bribery idea is a good one, though. That might well work. I might try Smarties tomorrow morning if you stay in bed like a good girl tonight....

Thanks Spider, I really appreciate it!! We have had marginal improvements the past few days in that she has been asleep by 9, so maybe, just maybe, I might start getting an evening again at some point in my life ... I miss Channel 4 news, how sad is that!!

When c is an olympic gymnast it will all have been worth it systems! It sounds like she is more than ready to train, just take her nappy off and be prepared for a few accidents, that was my method anyway. Love Toddler Taming btw . I would try it.

Maya i havent tried the whining plan properly cos it involves time out which is pretty difficult to administer with so many kids and things to do! But I do tell him 'stop whining, just ask nicely' and I am trying to wean him off holding hands to go up the stairs which I am having some success with.

I usually turn the telly off way before tea to avoid the meltdown but that night I forgot - I should have just left it on at that point. Their tantrum/whining was so bad I actually shouted 'shut up!' in Esther's face . A new low for me

Spider I found there was a lot of night waking when they first went into beds. But it just tapered off and they rarely wake now. I just used to go in, tuck them in, a kiss and a 'time for sleep'. They have a gate on their room. They often play for an hour or so before going to sleep in the evening. At first there were meltdowns at bedtime but we just used to shut the door and go back every 5-10mins to tell them to get into bed and go to sleep.

That's pretty much how we played it Neenz, it's just that going in and tucking him up didn't work in the night and it got progressively worse. Mind you, the night wakings started after W was born so there was lots going on.

Systems according to my cousin 1m high stairgates exist and solved the problem of athletic toddlers with their DD.

Spider faced with a 1m high stairgate she would just pile things up to climb on to get over it! I like the idea but I daren't try it! Liam was a lot easier on that front, he never worked out how to climb things and we had sporadic episodes of controlled crying to cure sleep problems right up till he was 3 and went into a toddler bed. I might just try closing her door and going back every 5 minutes to check / reassure. (Neenz you're right about the gymnastics, I am tempted to check out local classes ...)

We get lots of whining here but the advantage of whining is that it is almost always when they want something, so there is an immediate reward if they ask nicely. That is, if they're not just tired-whining and everything is wrong ... We can't really do time-outs either, the focus on keeping one of them in one place inevitably means the other one gets into mischief!

Just a quick post to see if anyone has any advice. C has been toilet trained for about 3 or 4 weeks and doing really well, rarely any accidents, until today when we've had 3 wet pants and 2 dirty ones with two successful toilet trips, one when at the dentist and one when we had friends over to play. Do you think it's a one off and tomorrow will be fine, or has she decided it is a good way to get attention from me when feeding D etc?

Hi Biscuits, having failed at toilet training twice now I'm not the best person to advise but I believe the odd regression is normal!

Biscuits, Theo had regression after a few weeks trained. I think he just got bored of going to the toilet/potty (it was novelty at first) so started waiting too long. I tried to just play it down when he had an accident, just say 'oh you shouldn't wee/poo in your pants, you should wee/poo in the toilet'. I also had to go back to asking him/reminding him all the time if he wanted to go. It helped to focus on something about the toilet that he liked eg counting up the stairs on the way to the loo, or reminding him that he could press the flush afterwards. I also started giving him massive cuddles and ott praise when he did go. If it is attention seeking because of D don't give her the attention, just change her pants and carry on. And make sure you give her lots of prasie/attention when she does go! Of course it could have just been a bad day and tomorrow will be fine! But it took about 3 weeks to get Theo back on track. Does she say anything about D being in nappies? T and E have never mentionedthat Dasniel is in nappies and they are not

Biscuits just off to post on potty training...so don't ask me! (Iestyn is perfect at home, at my mums, but has accidents at nursery.)

Systems my sister was just like C. When she was 6 my mum took her to gymnastics, and they originally refused to take her because the starting age was 7. My mum begged (and yes, , but now I understand that kind of desperation!) and they reluctantly agreed. She was Welsh gymnastics champion by the time she was 9 or 10. A superb gymnast.

Had a pretty rough day here all in all. Iestyn had enormous tantrums on not leaving nursery. But far worse was my public humiliation today. I was lecturing for 2 hours and for a change, gave the students a break halfway. I was just attempting to open a window when one of the students came up to me and said, quietly, really sorry but Dr R, your trousers are all split and we can see your knickers. I thanked her and ran very fast to the nearest toilet. Yes indeed, a 10in split down the bum cheek of my trousers. And I had been writing on the board a lot, and flashed them every time. I was wearing red knickers and all (but thanking everything possible that it wasn't a g-string!) Thing is, the class was going really well and they were ever so responsive and smiley!

Now a question for Spider, the resident Amby nest expert! Did you get yours s/h, and are you willing to reveal how much it was? I thought I could borrow one from my friend but she reckons her baby will still be in it in the summer (I'm a bit about that but she's funny about lending stuff (actually I think it's her DH) - but fine about borrowing, so basically I'm admitting to being more than a tiny bit annoyed about that). She has a friend though who has one which isn't being used and she offered to ask her. She did, and the friend doesn't want to lend, she wants to sell, for £100. Thought that was the high end of things according to e-bay - plus I'd have to go and get it and they're not nearby, or nearby in London either.