Sept 08 - No no no, ME do it!

[CappuccinoCarrie]

Shiny new thread for Christmas!

Ah now, the thing about the newborn latch is that it is a PITA mostly.

It will get better. The mouth is too small, the sucking muscles aren't strong, you're both figuring it out. I'm sorry to say this but mostly it is practice and time. Even if it is a pain keep trying it lying down.

There are different ways of cosleeping so I don't know what would suit you best. With ds I had a big cot with one side off that was right next to my bed so I just kind of rolled into it and carried on sleeping half in the cot.

With DD I found a way that worked better which was to put a single bed next to the double and dh slept on it, leaving me and the baby in the double.

Cosleeping is safest if started within a week of birth becaue your hormones are all tuned in with the baby and so you are unlikely to subconsciously forget about her or roll etc.

Careful with alcholol intake, as this impairs your ability to be in tune, as do drugs and drowsy medication.

Blankets are best but if you prefer a duvet you can either leave the baby in the centre of the ed and roll to the edge with your duvet, or face baby and tuck it in between your legs and under your arms.

You can have a pillow, but make sure the baby is down some way so that to feed her you kind of curve over her.

She can have a small loose celular blanket over her and the room can be kept warm but not hot. It is better if the mattress isn't too soft either.

To feed it is better in the early days to move towards her, so that you can move back and give her space afterwards. Don't worry about falling asleep though as you'll still be aware of her even then.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

Okay, keep feeding on the blocked duct side and massage it whilst you feed.

Then try to at least offer another side even if she is sleepy. It doesn't matter if she doesn't take much but the new breast has sweeter and faster milk to start with so she might wake up a bit if she gets some. It helps your body to keep getting the right signals too.

Star, thanks so much. I thank my lucky, well, stars s for your to The comfy sleepers thread. I'm in the middle of the early night feedathon which could last till god knows when. Wish me luck.

I have a platform bed, so attaching a Cot will be tricky. For now, we'll do as u suggest and share bed keeping her out of the duvet.

Been at the lump all eve with hot gel compresses, massage and rugby hold feed but still there although better. Should it just go in one session or over days?

Sorry for the hijack ladies. I'm just dreading another bad night!

Fanny, good luck with the move. Becaroo,, great you finally took the plunge! I hope the next house is a very happy one. Carrie, I so understand your dismay! If my dp had to go anywhere now I'd probably be histerical!

Sorry for my typing. I'm in Bed with phone!

well done on the muffins starlight, I've made them before and they are indeed yummy.

I have two answers for you with your cooking problems!

Get an oven thermometer (about a fiver from supermarkets), we've got one as our oven is 30 degrees hotter than the dial shows

If you knives are blunt, use kitchen scissors to snip stuff up. It's often quicker than using a knife as well.

Of all the different types of mixing, I think the most important one to know is folding. You use folding when you want to keep air in your mixture. So you gently and slowly use your spoon/spatula to go around the edge of the bowl, the mixture falls into the middle of the bowl and you repeat the process until fully mixed. The aim is to have everything mixed with the least amount of strokes as possible. Clear as mud?!

I meant to say earlier, congratulations pacita and thanks for befriending me so I could nosy at your ever so cute baby
StartingAfresh have you been lurking waiting to come back when your great advice is needed or did you just happen to come back as pacita needed you?

Well done on releasing some of the blockage Pacita, mine have always gone gradually to start with, but then quickly start to disappear once it has been reduced.

Wishing you a good night xxx

Thanks ILTMIMI, shes asleep next to me. Tried the Cot, but of course she immediately woke up and complained. Really good point re: bras. I wonder if the wire has made blockage worse.

Impressive work with the baking. I reckon there's three levels of mixing that all those descriptions fall into:

1. folding - gentle, as described above
2. mixing, blending, stirring - get everything mixed up, no need to get angry with it.
3. whisking, whipping, beating - electric whisk on high setting, or imagine you're beating the slats out of someone from the LEA

pacita, really hope the blockage clears soon. I found the rugby ball hold helpful for getting the baby to drain different parts of the boob.

ps, I've gone a whole day without crying about missing DH. Wow! Two days down, eight to go... [sob]

Sigh. She wakes up every 20 mins just as I nod off. Argh!!!!!!!!!!!

pacita Sending you love, sleep, and unblockedness vibes!

I can so sympathise with the latch and early feeding. DS from his first feed had a high suction vacuum cleaner hold on me which has never let up (ow!). For the first 24 hours including all the way through my first night in hospital he wanted to suckle every 30 mins.

This meant that when my milk came in it was like nothing I had ever seen/felt before: SO engorged, milk spraying everywhere, and several very painful patches in my boobs. This coincided with him deciding he was full now and didn't need to feed much for the next two days!

It was so painful and I thought I was going to have real problems with blockages/mastitis, but I did like Starry said, tried to keep calm, did lots of rubbing in the warm shower, tried to make him take feeds in a variety of positions whenever I could - anything to relive the pressure. It eventually righted itself with no ongoing problems.

Do you have to wear wire? I found that a stretchy vest was more comfy at that stage. The secret support ones are good and will accomodate washable breast pads / entire muslin depending on milk flow.

I'll be back in a mo with some questions for you all - must go to hungry boy now.

Right, here's my questions for you all regarding nursery choices.

Before we moved DD was in a totally brilliant outstanding rated nursery 10 mins from home with brilliant access and loads of local connections. Needless to say we are finding it impossible to replicate this in he new area.

She really misses the place and I want/need to get her in somewhere as soon as poss. She is currently at a temp childminder while we were looking for a house, but this is a different area from where we will be living.

Choices at the moment are:

1. The local nursery in next village. Rated good but I was quite dismayed on my visit there. It seemed dull, boring, and lacking joy and imagination. (Am I making sense?) In the previous nursery the children were always excited and exploring so many activities, role play, book corner, messy play, free access to the outdoor play, etc etc. This place did not look inspiring. Also just little things niggled me, like the access procedures described in the prospectus were not followed when I entered the nursery! And although I have asked for over a week they still weren't sure exactly which days they have availability and forgot to call me back when I asked.

1. Nursery at MrP's work. Also rated good but appears to be a big step up. Looks professional, colourful, inclusive, intelligent, etc. But it is a long complicated drive for me to get there. MrP said that doesn't matter as he can do the drop off / pick up. But from experience I know that this doesn't always work and I'll have to trek there with DS, get stuck in motorway traffic etc. Also, I won't be meeting parents from our local area.

1. Continue the search as there are probably half a dozen other nurseries closer to our new home which I've not yet investigated.

We move next week and then MrP goes away for three days leaving me with two children, a house full of boxes / baby hazards / no stairgates, and no childcare for poor DD.

My instincts tell me two things:

• MrP's work nursery seems the best option for DD, but not necessarily for our easy daily routine.
• I am scared I am rushing a decision because I don't want to end up with nothing arranged.

Help me see clearly please! Am I being over fussy about the local nursery? Is driving over 30 mins across motorways / busy cities sensible for a nursery run? Should I keep looking for something else?

Hi there Fanny.

I would say go with your gut instinct about the local nursery and look at the other nurseries. I personally wouldn't do that sort of journey for a nursery (if I didn't have to), I should imagine it would be a nightmare for you all tbh.

Take your time and make the right choice for you all.

Can dd stay at the temp childminder for a few more weeks? It is better that she is bored for a few more weeks rather than choosing a nursery that is a second best.

Hope this helps

fanny I think you need to look at other nurseries nearer to you HOWEVER if none of them feel "right" then the nursery at MrP's work would be the one I would go for....travel aside if she is happy you wont mind and it will become second nature after a while.

pacita I second the advice re: secret support tops rather than bras...M&S do great ones! My boobs were HUGE after I had Toby (36 J ) and there is no way I could have tolerated a wired bra. You are doing so brilliantly well x

Too busy to post properly but will answer your qn later fp Not an expert but did loads of research into C's nursery so I have a few thoughts for you. Xx

mrsa I would really like to hear your experience too....

I think clearly the fall-back option is the workplace nursery. Take that as your starting point and try to find a more logistic friendly alternative. I don't think your local nursery is on the cards really is it?

MrsA Yes please let us know your thoughts!

Gosh I am so interested in everyone's view on the local nursery, and so relieved. I wondered if I was making a fuss over nothing as there is nothing actually wrong with it, and local people I have spoken to praised it and said 'everyone goes there'.

But I really need to feel confident DD would be getting excellent care, and I didn't feel that. My instinct is that the kids there were doing the toddler version of looking at their watches waiting until their session time was finished!

I have found another rated good with some excellent features, and I have an appointment to view it tomorrow. And I'll just keep on trawling those Ofsted reports...

The local nursery sounds a bit rubbish,
MrP's nursery is a bit far away,
She is bored at her childminders.

I would personally keep her at the childminders for a few more weeks whilst you look around all the local nurseries to find one that suits you all. Keep MrP's nursery as a backup.

Pacita Not much advice except feed, feed, feed. The quicker your milk supply gets good the easier things should be. I had trouble with Lucy as she was so small and when she stretched her mouth it only just covered my nipple. she also found it really hard to suck strongly and would drop off frequently from the exhaustion of sucking. What helped me was Robyn had a mammoth feeding session on day 3 which helped my milk come in. Unless you want to feed Diego then some hand expressing might help after a feed. Even if you only get a few mls up it will make your body think more is needed so will produce more.
Ditch the wires as well. If you can find them you want feeding bras where you don't drop the whole cup when feeding. Mine leave like a peephole bra behind so your boobs dont 'flop' when you feed. I got mine from Debenhams and they are reasonably priced. They are really comfy as well.

hmmmm..beware being too trusting of OFSTED reports.

Sorry to say this but IME they mean very little......ds1's old school (where he was miserable and where they let him be bullied by same child for 3 years...I could go on!) was rated "outstanding". i.e. they got good SATS results.

The school he is at now (where he is happy and where they are very child led and friendly) is rated "satisfactory".

I looked at 2 other schools which were rated "outstanding" and "good" respectively, but I got a good feeling about the one he is at now. and he is happy.

You need to view as many as possible and go with your "gut feeling" as you have wrt the local nursery.

Good luck x

Tricky one FP! I second the thing about local nursery, I'm doing the same here for DS's place once he gets his funding next Jan; he can't go to DD's old nursery school as its incompatible with the school run, but I just don't like the nursery at the end of our road, didn't get a good feel about it at all, so we're going for a great playgroup that's further away and a git of a commute.
I second the option of keep with the childmider and do a bit more research. Are you planning on working, or do you have time on your side to find the right place?
And when your DH goes away, remember, tv is not the devil, it is your very best friend!!
Pacita I loved the nursing tank from bravado, and would shove muslins and all manner of absorbant things down there to catch the torrent drips. Expressing in the shower was also utter relief once milk came in with gusto!

ust had a lovely skype chat with DH :)

just even...doh.

pacita have a look at the nursing vests on the jojo manan bebe website or look at H+M maternity range.

The vests are fab as you can wear a normal top and lift it up to feed but the vest keeps your tummy covered and warm. I was able to layer up my normal clothes t-shirt / long sleeved t-shirt underneath and have the vest as my bottom layer. Think they were about £14 for pack of 2 (one black, one white) in H+M. No wires, just very stretchy cotton.