August 2010 - new thread ladies!

[Chulita]

New thread cos we've nearly filled the last one!

eh? I posted about an hour ago and it's not here...
neenz the rf seats fit in a normal Astra so they're not hugely massive and L tucks her legs up - there's quite a bit of space between her seat and the car seat. Not something to feel guilty about though we just looked into it and decided we'd prefer rf. We do have an estate though so room lengthways isn't an issue.
making pineapple upside cake if anyone fancies some.

When we looked into RF we were told they were really only for SN and when she tried to fit one in the car it would not go in - we have an estate too (Honda Accord)! It was the Wigan Car Safety people (they have loads of car seats there that you can try in your car, and they'll fit yours for you too). Didn't actually ask anywhere else abotu RF (would have maybe found the one you have if we had) cos we realised we would have to get the multimac cos could not fit three car seats across the back RF or FF!

What is your RF seat called?

It's the BeSafe Izi Combi. Only for SN why on earth would that be the case?
We started off here and ended up buying one online. It fit fine and we've since used it facing forwards in my parents' car which doesn't have isofix. I agree re 3 car seats not fitting, we've already resigned ourselves to replacing our gorgeous Avensis when we get a 3rd!

Chillita I'm pondering the car seat issue too, as I rather suspect S will be too big for his RF car seat before I ideally want to put him FF.

Thing is, though, the reason we put DS1 FF was only partly because he outgrew the seat - it was also because he screamed bloody murder for the duration of any journey. Absolutely fine as soon as he was FF. Just wanted to ask whether you've found that an issue at all - ie DCs not being able to see where they're going (or to see you)??

The seats are tall enough that L can see easily out the back/sides so I don't reckon they see any less than if they were FF. L hated her little RF infant seat and screamed every car journey which is why we moved her so soon. I think it was the position rather than the RF aspect that she hated cos she's been fine in this other one. We have little mirrors on the headrests so we can see each other.

Well, after much soul-searching about how we were going to get E to sleep last night, she fell asleep straight after her bottle of EBM at 7.20pm without the breastfeed she usually has. Woke 45 minutes later, had a breastfeed and fell asleep, then 5 mins later because she needed winding, then I think she woke once more needing a quick cuddle before 11am, when she fed again. Night feeds at 3am and 5am with no fuss. Happy belly! We have removed the side of the cotbed so in the night all I have to do is snuggle up to her and pop the boob in her mouth - prob will only have it like that for a couple of weeks but it helps for now.

On a less positive note, we had our first accident today. E was sitting on my lap and while I had hold of her, I wasn't paying quite enough attention and she managed to twist herself and fall headfirst onto a small table at the side of the sofa. Not hurt I don't think - I was holding her the whole time so the fall was controlled by how far she could reach - but boy did she cry. Felt terrible .

11pm. 11am would have been a genuine miracle.

Belly I hope E is ok and I hope you are too, as it can be just as much of a shock for you. So hope you're both ok.

Controlled crying by default tonight here. Too traumatised to post properly but feel like the worst possible mother in the world. Other parents don't need a bottle of wine to get themselves through it, do they? it was like a drinking forfeit game - a slug of wine & a 'wish me luck' before going up to check on the purple baby every 10 mins. Not the fuzzy, warm scene of my idle, pregnancy dreams or even a rational, planned response. Have no idea what came over us other than a red mist of 'that's it, he's not getting up'. Shite, shite, shite but he's asleep now..

belly normally I'd tell you to man up with a smiley but I'm feeling too raw myself to try & joke you out of feeling terrible.

gya just listening will have made such a difference to how your lodger feels. You might have needed matchsticks but you did something good that night.

chulita (I refuse to call you by your seasonal guise) yay for being pain free..finally! But you ain't ever gonna look like Calista, sista if you keep baking

blueberries the boobysnoozing lawyers will be onto you...if Gill Rapley can make a living on BLW, I'm putting my patent application in as soon as my MA runs out.

Feel a bit calmer for typing nonsense. Sadly, just want A to wake up now so I can cuddle him. It would be Sod's Law if after tonight, he slept through for the first time.

Don't feel bad weehector. We did the same one night and I regret it now but sometimes you're just so desperate! I fed him every time he mde a squeak during the night after that cos I felt so bad and just wanted to cuddle him.

I don't want to get out of bed but J is starting to get bored under his mobile. humph

weehector I've done the same and he won't think any less of you in the morning!

and thanks for reminding me to change back :)

Thanks dogwalker, it really was a fairly minor bump but I think it hurt her enough to shock her into a big old cry. She was fine v soon afterwards, once I could force a boob into her screaming tomato face.

weehector you poor thing, we've been thinking tentatively about doing a bit of controlled crying as E just seems to get more wound up if you go in and pick her up... it's not for the fainthearted though and when Ive let her cry just a little bit, and then picked her up she immediately stops crying which 1) makes me feel like a horrible person for letting her be so upset when she only needed a little cuddle but apositely 2) suspect if all it took to calm her was a cuddle, if I'd left her that little bit longer she would have fallen asleep...

The wonders of the night before last were not repeated. It was agreed I needed to go out so I was going to a salsa class. Fed her to sleep and left at 7.45pm. Got a call from DH at 9.15pm saying she woke the moment I left and he hadn't been able to get her back to sleep... got home about 10.15pm, fed her then she fell asleep at 10.45pm, but woke at 11.30pm and midnight (both times I ended up feeding her cos she was being v noisey) but then only woke at 3.30am and 7am.

Oh well.

Oh, and I meant to say that's great BF no longer hurts chulita, you're a hero for doing it for so long in pain!

Oh Weehector, you're not the worst mother in the world, you just want the best for your LO. Believe me it gets to us all at some time. When T had colic and my DH was away, I found it difficult to cope with the 15 hours of incessant crying day after day, but I got through it, as will you. And if the red wine helps, well go for it, hopefully the more chilled you are the chill vines will pass to A

Congrats on the pain free BF chulita, weel done for going on for so long.

Belly I'm glad E is ok.

Well my T woke up this morning unable to open his right eye, all glued together with conjuntivitus (sp). A trip to Docs has got him sorted hopefully, but he is still coughing and sneezing, so being over protective Mum and keeping him well wrapped up and not going out for our usual walk.

Hope everyone is having a good day x

Oh Hector big hug! We have come very close to doing the same thing with E. Trying the No Cry Sleep Solution as a last ditch fuzzy way out of this no-sleep hell we're in (waking 10+ times per night, not even doing a stretch in the evening like he used to). Found myself wandering around a park screaming 'Go to fucking sleep!' at E earlier this week. Nice, eh? Bet all the Dulwich yummy mummies were horrified! It's mad what 3 scanty hours of sleep will do. I feel like such a pyscho for yelling at him though. Need to dig up just a bit more patience from somewhere.

However, sounds like some of us are turning a corner. Well done Belly! I'm sure your littleun is ok after the bump. Horrid though, isn't it? I trod on E's hand really early on and felt AWFUL.

I came very close to swearing at J today, and felt like slapping him :(
And I thought I was a patient person! It just feels like very hard work at the mo. He's become quite whingy and hard work to entertain. Maybe on 9 hours unbroken sleep I'd be able to look after him cheerfully all day. No chance of that though!

Sorry for rather miserable post. Will try and be more positive tomorrow

Oh Hector, poor you, and poor others going through similar. None of you (us!) are bad mummies. You do what you need to get you through the day, and sometimes you do things that you feel unhappy about afterwards. (I'm not bashing controlled crying, but it sounds like it's not what you personally want to do, Hector). But one night of screaming is not going to do your baby any lasting harm, and he won't remember it afterwards. Plus, we're not all saints (especially not on hardly any sleep) and we can't be perfect all the time. Blimey, if we were all judged on the basis of how we treated our children on one occasion, then I think most of the nation's kids would be in the care of social services!!! I remember a horrible day over Christmas when DS1 was STILL ill (not really ill, but enough to make him whingy and negative and stroppy). He'd been like this for weeks, and I finally completely lost it. I dragged him out of a museum sobbing, practically hauled him home on the bus, sobbing, while constantly hissing 'shut up, shut up' at him . Not my finest hour, and I felt terrible afterwards. But my point is, we all have days when we just can't keep up the 'calm parent' bit, but it doesn't make us bad mothers.

And as for 'other parents don't need a bottle of red wine to get through it, do they?'; no you're quite right. Has to be gin for me .

Seriously, though, how are you feeling today?

Thank you ladies for your support. Still feel awful about last night (and Elusive, you're quite right it's not something I'd been thinking about doing), it just happened because he wouldn't nap all day then got really cranky by 8.30 & just wouldn't go down. I seem to be making a few crap on the spot parenting decisions at the moment (will post on weaning when less tired) but I guess life now is lived in real time, we don't have the time or sometimes even the rationality of a clear head with the lack of sleep to follow our lofty ideals.

Anyway, even though he didn't sleep through, he woke just after I posted last night, A still loves me this morning .. :)

Been a busy day here. Up (still knackered), bake cake, clean house, 9 mummies/9 babies & a 4yr old here this avo for baby massage & coffee then we dropped A off at ILs, headed an hr into Glasgow, had dinner & went to a concert. Came back down road, picked A up at 11.30pm - who didn't sleep at his gran's either despite a tiny nap today & managed to get him down in 5 mins flat tonight..in our bed though, no heart/too tired for a repeat of last night..he just wants to be close to me, wee soul.

LOL at your 'go to fucking sleep' walk in the park, Nat. Right there with you on 'oh how the mighty (ideals) have fallen' & the judginess of the Dulwich mummies. As above, more on weaning but feeding & nutrition is my last high scoring card (except toys). If I ever change my tune on Fruit Shoots, stage an intervention because I need it desperately if sleeping continues to be my Joker.

Night lovely ladies! X

Hello lovelies

Quick hug for Marzi felt that way myself last week.

I have had a break from mn spanning almost 2wks!! Partly due to getting a good book, and mostly due to feeling pretty low. I found that MN was not helping me deal with the problems i was struggling with - mostly parental guilt on what was the right decision for getting F to sleep better and be less grumpy. I chose to follow my gut instinct, but would come across posts that flamed someone for doing exactly what i was doing (more than once) so i stayed away, and have stuck to my instincts and this last week has seen a huge improvement. I know MN is only opinion, but when you are having a wobble, reading that someone thinks you are a terrible parent/woefully incapable etc, can really send you over the edge.

Anyway, a bit more sleep, some kind of routine and a more jolly baby has perked me up considerably F was weighed yesterday and is just under the 80th centile, and the HV was very pleased at how strong and healthy he was looking (this is not a slight at anyone with small babies btw) so that has made me feel strong enough to come back to MN, and think "Sod it, my baby is doing absolutely fine with me, anyone who thinks they know better can feck off!"

Alice, I don't go on any other of the baby threads on MN, as I don't who the people are. I know that we don't know each other in the flesh but we have been through so much together that I feel like I know you all, so I only trust our thoughts and feelings when it comes to weaning, sleeping etc because we all are going through it together. People on other threads who have older DC etc may have forgotten how hard it is sometimes and put their halos on when giving out advice. Glad you've come back to the fold {smile].

morning ladies

hector we did exactly the same with ds1 and I hated it. dh and I vowed to never do it again, but it did have the desired effect and our little screaming horror finally learned how to sleep. Fortunately there hasn't been the same need to do it with G...yet! So as elusive said, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and there's no point beating yourself up about it. We've all been there. And by the way you can call off your dodgy hard-man Weegie laywers missy! I credited you with booby snoozing (TM weehector), so naaaaaaah

not the best of weeks here either. But as dogwalker said, we're all in it together. At least we know what everyone is going through.

G is back to waking every 2 hours through the night and I'm on my knees with exhaustion. We've managed to settle him in the evening and he goes to sleep by 7:30pm (so far this week), but it does seem to be at the expense of the rest of the night! Waaaaaaah! He taking proper feeds too, not just having a quick snack. Another growth spurt maybe? Who knows!!!

How on earth will I cope when I go back to work in April? Waaaaaah!

blueberries our boys are pretty much the same age aren't they? S is back to waking every 2 hours too. I'm not ready for a growth spurt He's not that keen on solids yet either!
alice welcome back! I'm currently having a 'when to start cc' debate with myself that I most definitely will not be opening up to the wider mn community.
dogwalker how's T's eye?
marzipan we've all been there, and nat many's the time I've hissed something at S that he can't possibly comply with.

Hello all sorry for lack of posting..

T has Bronchiolitis AGAIN! She is wheezing like mad and is now on ventolin
at least eating ok so we don't have to go to hospital (so far)
Lodger not well at all I have a 4th child effectively.
He has chemo on 1st feb then a course of radiotherapy and about 3-4 apts before that starts.

All at the marsden which takes us best part of an hour to drive to.

Couldn't sleep last night as we were there yesterday and a little girl who mustve been a bit older than my 3 yr old sat next to me.
Hair all gone from her chemo but still bright as a button.

Made me give my 3 extra squeezes and extra doses of patience yesterday.

There but for the grace of god go we all.

I've had an awful afternoon, I hurt my poor little boy. I was clipping his fingernails when i accidentally cut a bit of his skin off his thumb. He has cried for hours and so have I. it has at last stopped bleeding, but I feel so bad .

T is quite happily playing now, but I can't stop crying, it was just so awful to hurt him so much. My DH is away at the moment, so I rang and told him what I had done. He said jokingly that I was a bad Mum, and then he quickly realised that he had said the wrong thing, because that's just exactly how I feel. Oh I do hope it heals ok, what a stupid thing to do.

gya how awful :( and what a reality check...
Best wishes for swift recovery for T!

dogwalker we've all done it (well I haven't but DH has chopped both the DC's fingers). They're so darn wriggly that it's nigh on impossible to cut them without some casualties. You're not a bad mum, you're human.