Juggling tea/bath/bedtime with newborn and toddler

[sarahhal]

Just wondering how you are all managing this. I am finding it really hard to spend decent time with DS1 (2.4) at this time as new baby always cranks up at about 5.00! Any tips most appreciated!

Just noticed the time of my post .... DS1 out with grandparents ... am not neglecting him to post on MN!!!

my solution was that dh did dinner/bath time etc with dd1 - his nightime ritual then I would sort out dd2. Dd1 was 2.4 when dd2 was born. Dd2 would then go to sleep about 6pm and dh and I would have an hour relaxing, reading etc with dd2 before she went to bed at 7pm.

Only way I could manage it - even now that dd2 is 10 months - still do it that way.

Oh sarahhal I can totally empathise with you. Teatime and bedtime is the worst time. DD 2.5 and DS 14 weeks both demanding my time and I just can't split myself in two!! My husband isn't always around to help out as he works on call in the evening! I would love to hear some top tips!

Not sure it will help Sarahhal, but what I do is give ds3 (2 months) a little feed at 5ish while tea is cooking, and let ds1 (4) and 2 (2) watch TV or read / play. Then when we sit down for tea ds3 sits in his chair watching us and listening to the mayhem. Dh normally baths the older 2 while I get ds3 ready for bed, and we all sit down together for stories while I feed ds3 before putting them all in bed. When I'm on my own with them I get ds3 ready for bed before putting the other 2 in the bath while he lays on his playmat, and just ignore any moans from him!
Not sure its 'decent time' with the older 2, but we do get to all sit down at the table, and for stories.

I wish DH could be around at the early evening hours.

If he's home "early" then it's 6:30 and then he can hold DD (6 weeks) while I put DS (23 months) to bed, but more often than not he is either there to give DS a kiss or home after he is in bed.

DD and I are luckily capable of feeding on the move, and she sometimes has to cry because I haven't got enough hands left. Luckily DS seems all right about what happens but I would love to be able to have peace and calm.

im finding this hard too, yesterday was the first day i actually managed it by myself and i only have 2 kids, dd1 is 6 and dd2 is 5weeks i started at 4.30 by taking a drive to asda so that dd2 would have a nap and i could get some bread got home at 5.30 i fed dd1 while dd2 kicked on playmat without nappy then bathed dd2 while dd1 watched angellina ballerina (which i recorded from earlier) went upstairs with dd2 at 6.30 to feed her and settle her in moses basket was back downstairs by 7ish started sorting the bottles out and left them for dp to finish when he got in at 7.10pm while i went to the chippy cause i was far too knackered to cook he also put dd2 to bed at 7.30pm.

if anyone has any tips id love to hear them

Thanks for all your tips. Things are much better here now DS2 is 9 weeks and much more settled in the evening. I know i'm lucky as DH is a teacher so able to be home every bedtime to help out. Like a few of you have said, I too give DS2 a feed about 5.00 so that he is content to kick around until whilst DS1 has tea and then his bath.

Zubb - how's the building work going? We are having the big knock through this week so are living with parents. Hopefully thing will be sorted by Christmas. Things have actually gone a lot more smoothly than i had imagined - but there's still time yet for disasters!!

Hi, building is going slowly!! We have foundations and walls (one wall was rebuilt twice before they were happy), but things have stalled a bit. Hopefully roof on next week, and then they can tell me when they break through. Not looking hopeful for Christmas though - we'll have a kitchen as I don't think the old one will have gone, but we won't have a dining room as they will probably be in the middle of the work. Will have to see if some lovely family member will put us all up!
Hope you get back in to your house soon, and its not too much of a mess!

The only way I can manage it with 4 small boys is to have a really strict routine, not deviate from my times that I have to do things by, and I do everything in "shifts"!!

I feed DS1(5 years) DS2(4 years-last week) and DS3(16 months) together at about 4.30pm

I bath DS3 and put him to bed at 5pm ( I know that seems early but he likes his sleep and is quite happy playing in his cot until he nods off)

I then feed DS4 (12 weeks) at 5pm while DS1 sits next to me and reads me his school reading book (and DS2 normally sits the other side of him and listens to the story too)!!

I then change DS4 and put him on his playmat for a kick around.

DS1 & DS2 watch Backyardigans on Nick JR while I clear up the dinner things, load the dishwasher and run their bath so that as soon as that finishes (about 5.50pm) they come up and get in the bath.

After their bath they watch the second story of Fifi & the Flowertots and Pick Me. At 6.25pm we go up to their room and they have about 10 pages of a story and go to sleep at 6.30pm (although DS1 normally doesn't nod off until nearly 7pm)

At 6.30pm I come down and check on DS4 who is normally asleep under the playmat by now!! I clear up what mess is left lying around, bung the clothes in the wash, clean and sterilise the bottles and start dinner for myself and DH.

It sounds a lot more organised than it is and DS4 is only 12 weeks so you can't rely on him to keep in routine quite as well as the others and every now and again it all goes pear shaped. As a rule it works and I am free to spend time with DH from 6.30pm

tv!

Finding this hard with 3 just now. When it was just 2 I just carried dd the baby around while I put ds to bed and she went to bed later as she'd had a daytime nap. then as they got older and she dropped her nap I would put her to bed first and ds would/will watch a video otherwise he'll get in the way. For awhile I did manage to read stories together but it didn't last long and I prefer to put them to bed separatley. Now got a baby and have to put them all to bed at different times and its ds2 who is being carried around like a sack of potatoes. Haven't got a clue what to do when he is older and needs a 'proper' bedtime routine!

Dd 2 (12 weeks) luckily tends to feed just before tea and then sleeps either in her travel cot or graco swing while we eat at 5.30. I pretty much always cook things i can prepare in advance (e.g. tonight potato wedges were in the oven by lunchtime with the timer set so they cook themselves, chopped the veggies earlier so just needed to turn the steamer on, and ingredients for spanish omelette ready to go too. Then I feed dd2 again at six while reading stories to dd1 (2) or watching her video. Then up for a bath together. I take dd1's cup of milk up with us and warm it while they are in the bath. Usually i can dry and dress the baby while dd1 is still in the bath, if i take all the right stuff into the bathroom. If she does want to get out sooner she's happy drinking her milk while I sort the baby out. Then we all pile into dd1's bed for stories while I either breastfeed dd2 or give her a bottle of EBM - luckily she loves listening at the mo - then its just dd1 teeth cleaning and lights out for both of them.

BUT, luckily i only have to do it like this about once a week, otherwise hubby and me take one each. And while its harmonious some of the time, there's also plenty of times when there's tears from both of them and I do find it hard to give them both enough attention. AND I'm really lucky that they both settle really well.

I've had to get the hang of doing this single-handed as my husband has to work away a lot. I run a bath for my 17 week old while he is having a kick-around on his play mat and I am getting my 4 year old started on some drawing or playing. He carries on with that while I bath, feed and settle the baby. Once the baby is sleeping well I take the older one for his bath. I usually start the routine at 5.45 and both are settled by 7.30. Its a bit full on but it works (so far!)