Labour leadership lineup

[longfingernails]

Diane Abbott
Ed Balls
Andy Burnham
David Miliband
Ed Miliband

This is clearly discriminatory against people whose names begin in the second half of the surname. People with late surnames are woefully underrepresented in politics because their names appear lower down on each ballot paper.

Surely, as the party of positive discrimination and quotas, Labour should mandate that at least half their leadership ticket should come from the nether regions of the alphabet??

Argh surname should be alphabet... maybe I should preview more!

Prolesworth

I changed my username during the election. Rest assured my fingernails are still (metaphorically) a deep hue of royal blue.

Actually I would like to confess a dark secret.

Red is actually my favourite colour! It is a shame that it has been appropriated by the left, it would be a fine shade for the right. They have things the right way round in America.

The Labour leadership lineup reminds me somewhat of a police lineup, together with a photo of the sorry bunch and a caption saying :

Wanted for lying to the public during their last term in office. Have you seen these imposters who call themselves honourable? The public should be warned that they are a devious bunch who are known to use all manner of disguises to trick and fleece the public. There have been reports of identity theft with them disguising their true intent and now working under the false identities of "progressives"

Members of the public should approach them with caution because they are masters at the art of picking pockets. They call it wealth redistribution.

Eyewitnesses describe them as referring to themselves as socialists, but the public describe them more as slippery, sanctimonious sharks. Members of the public who had been mugged by them 5 years ago describe them as saying that they cared for the public and wanted to listen to their concerns. They called this a "big conversation", but the public soon discovered that this was a "big lie", and on checking their pockets, found that they had been relieved of all their cash. One old age pensioner in Rotherham had a chat with one of them in the street, and came away pleased to have met the charmer, only to later find out that he had referred to her as "that bigoted woman". Needless to say she has resolved to have nothing further to do with them. We advise other members of the public to do the same.