Immigration on my doorstep & confused

[Averagemumessex]

Hi,

I am a nervous, frightened, confused and truth seeking uk Mum.

I was born in Archway North London as the youngest child of legal Irish Migrants in the 80’s.
Mum and Dad lived in private small room rentals whilst on a waiting list for a council house. Dad worked on the buildings and Mum took care of us and later worked in a school. They were labour voters and often had the odd wink or joke about the posh English conservative neighbours.

Looking back we were probably exposed to mild anti British attitudes in the sense we thought the ‘pure’ English were rich, posh and looked down on us. However we all loved Princess Diana, the red arrows, ham egg and chips.

Mum said the day she got our council house she felt like she won the lottery. They paid rent on it but it was ‘our’ home. They kept it impeccably clean and well presented. Dad painted the front every few years and mum had beautiful flowers on the window sills. They were thankful for it. Us siblings toed the line, not one of us was ever in trouble with school or the law. Mum and dad told us we had opportunities they didn’t have and we had to do our best in life. Dad would tell me this as I plucked splinters from his rough hands. My brother kicked a ball in the Scottish neighbours garden and Dad told them to keep it to teach him a lesson. They wanted us to be good citizens.

We had a catholic community around us which was obviously lacking diversity in religion but not race. As a kid I really enjoyed the church ‘international evenings’ a celebration of all the cultures and races. Tasting lots of different global foods was exciting and watching all the kids from my school perform different traditional dances with their parents on stage was a beautiful melting pot of modern community.

What I am trying to say is I grew up the child of an immigrant, I am aware of the hand outs my parents received (they did always pay council rent) but did get a roof over our heads. Racism was something we hated.

I was educated in a fantastic all girls senior school, my friends were all colours, I didn’t even notice who was from where, they were my friends. We played with the girls from the corner shop who were Hindu, they brought us back presents from their homelands as we did for them when we visited Ireland once a year.

The families on our road were Irish, Turkish, Nigerian, Cypriot, Filipino, Greek, we knew them all and got along well. Looking back now I wonder how did the English who also lived there feel?

I took the loan and went to uni and studied hard, I found a job in the city in finance. All 4 of us siblings worked from the age of 16 part time alongside education. Then we all got full time jobs and paid taxes.

We married and looked to buy our own small homes. Mum and dad were so proud of us with this accomplishment. The 4 walls of our council home were all they needed. Dad died age 56, mum moved to a one bedroom council flat and is happy there.

Fast forward and I met a husband who was indeed pure English and married and we started a family. Living in London was not an option as too expensive.
We moved to the suburbs of Chelmsford. I took a part time job in a local dr surgery and my husband continued to work in London.

He has a well paid job but works long and hard for it. He wakes at 4:30 daily and leaves the house by 4:50 to be at his West London workplace and working by 7am. He arrives home from work at 6:45pm.
The length of his working day means I took a local job to be able to raise our two children.
We would have liked more children but we decided we couldn’t afford more. Both of our parents are elderly so I raised the children with some help from friends.

I am trying my best to bring them up well, I am reading with them doing spellings, badly baking cakes for sales and help pta where I can. I want the world to be a great place for them to grow in.

We both pay all taxes and have a 3 bedroom semi detached home with a mortgage for another 25 yrs at least.
We used to have an annual holiday to Portugal but won’t be next year due to budget, we are hoping to go to Norfolk instead. Not complaining just a noticed adjustment for us.

We have a lovely life, our children do sports, we have noticed a squeeze on our finances but overall we are very lucky with all we have.

We love Chelmsford and its amenities for families. We chose it over my husband’s hometown of Southend as it felt safer.
My eldest daughter is now at senior school in Chelmsford and doing well.

I have watched the news over the last few years and aware of the migrant crisis and small boat crossings. I am aware of some of the big names in it. I remember the heartbreak I felt when I saw the little body of the Syrian boy washed ashore. I would have loved to have helped that poor little soul.
Our school did a fundraiser for humanity washed shore and we all wanted to help in some way.

However over the last 6 months I have noticed the huge increase of migrants in my town of Chelmsford. It’s really impossible not to notice as there are large groups of men hanging around the high street and parks.
It’s the scale that is just really hard to ignore, groups of 100 men together is intimidating.
I always believed myself not to be racist but I suddenly feel uneasy walking through such large groups of these men.

In honesty I would feel the same if they were white British men just hanging around in those numbers.

My daughters like the freedom to pop to boots or any other high street shop while I might do the food shop. I suddenly feel this is not an option. I would feel really uncomfortable with letting an 11 yr old and 15 year old walk through the crowds of men. I try to rationalise it but it’s my mothering gut instinct telling me it’s unsafe.

My husband feels the same and tells me to watch the girls even more due to the influx of these men hanging around. I want to allow my girls freedom but the high street has over night become a no go area for them without me. Even with me there it feels I want to quickly get out of town. Last year it was still a lovely town.

I want to know how my friends feel about it but I am so fearful of being branded a racist that I don’t want to ask.

I have voted both labour and conservative in the past depending on which person was leading. However right now I don’t feel any of them represent me here stuck in the middle!

I respect people’s varying opinions but I wouldn’t really hang a Union Jack flag on my house. I believe those that do have a right to be proud of their country though.

I know racism is a horrible experience and that I am lucky enough to have not experienced it.
However this migration crisis is now here, on my doorstep and I can’t help feeling frightened by it for myself and my daughters.

I today was sent a video of a new apartment block for migrants who arrived in the country 3 days ago. It is next to the leisure center my girls love to go to with their friends.
I feel uneasy and confused.
This is along with two other large hotels for migrants in town.

I really don’t believe all of the people that I see hanging around are fleeing from unsafe places.

I am watching my husband and I pay more and more tax for these men to be given apartments instantly. I would like to know who voted for this? Was it me without even knowing about it?

Am I racist for feeling intimidated by the amount of men hanging around my town?

I sure would like to help those really in need but seeing the videos has made me wonder if there is a media coverup. Are middle of the road people like me being forced to stay quiet due to fear of being branded racist? Before I would have thought these videos are scaremongering but now I am seeing it first hand I know the scale is true.

Are we allowed to to ask why this is happening on the scale it is happening?

Am I am hypocrite as my family lived in a council property?
Or is this different? It feels different, the pace, scale and secrecy feels different.

I wonder how other children of immigrants like me feel about current immigration. The children of all the nationalities that I grew up with, how do they feel now they have grown up in the uk like me.

Are a lot more people worried than I know about ? Am I over reacting?

Who do I vote for ?

I can’t believe I would ever say this but some of the facts Nigel Farage says are agreeing with my thoughts.
How do we know these men who are freely walking around our towns?

I don’t want to protest in the streets as I don’t identify with the left or the right but instead I am here stuck in the middle wondering who is with me!

The bit about the past was just to show I get how being the child of an immigrant is

Are there really groups of 100 men just hanging around together? That seems like so many and would be intimidating no matter what their race or status.

You’re right. I am the original AI. I’m a professional writer. Been gainfully employed by my pen since 1993. I’m completely unable to alter my tone, style or response format to suit the situation. I’ll be over in Pedants’ Corner birching myself if you need me.

I took my time writing the first post, then everyone is convinced I am ai. I am now quickly typing back. I still can’t understand why people think it’s ai when it’s just me

Yes I wouldn’t have thought it either. Outside m&s Chelmsford high street groups of easily 100 men. Thank you

Not really when ur from an Irish family, it’s a very common term.

I genuinely believe that the NHS and our social care system would collapse without the hard work and dedication of immigrant workers. This isn’t just something I’ve read in the news — it’s something I’ve witnessed firsthand.

A few years ago, when my elderly neighbour fell seriously ill, it was a team of nurses and carers — many of whom had come from overseas — who looked after her with such compassion and professionalism. They were there at all hours, often doing long shifts, always with kindness and patience. It really opened my eyes to just how much of our health and care system depends on people who’ve chosen to make the UK their home.

More recently, when my own family needed care for an elderly relative, the same story played out. The carers who came to the house were from all over the world — the Philippines, Nigeria, Poland — and each of them treated my relative with dignity and respect. It struck me how seamlessly they had become part of our community, quietly doing vital work that keeps the system going while rarely getting the credit they deserve.

When people talk about immigration purely in political terms, I think they often forget that behind those numbers are real people who keep our hospitals, care homes, and GP surgeries running every single day. Without them, our NHS and care system simply couldn’t cope.

For me, this isn’t about politics — it’s about fairness, gratitude, and recognising the humanity of those who hold everything together, often while being undervalued or even scapegoated. We owe them so much more than we give them.

(This is written by AI - I said that the NHS and social care system would collapse without immigrant workers and asked it to give some examples.)

Ok but we have imported 8 million immigrants for this purpose and the NHS is still ‘on its knees’. So is immigration actually even working? If after so many people you say we need more immigration, it sounds like a very poor exchange to me.

I didn’t say we needed more immigration.

We have one. I wasn’t aware either, til I saw it mentioned on another thread recently.

https://www.davidsonmorris.com/points-based-immigration-uk/

I can’t understand it either. I came on concerned about legal immigration in my town but I am now more concerned that people think a normal mum couldn’t have written a basic post.

It was too good OP. Take it as a compliment that we all think you might be a robot.

That’s a fair point — and it’s true that the NHS is under huge pressure despite years of recruitment from abroad. But I don’t think the problem is simply about the number of people coming in; it’s more about how the system itself is being managed and supported.

We’ve brought in skilled workers — doctors, nurses, carers — but many end up leaving because of burnout, low pay, and poor working conditions. The issue isn’t that immigration “isn’t working”; it’s that the NHS has been stretched to breaking point for a long time. Recruitment alone can’t fix that. Retention, training, and proper funding are just as important.

So instead of saying “we need more immigration,” I’d say we need to value the people we already have, wherever they come from. That means giving them the right pay, manageable hours, and a health service that’s properly staffed and resourced. Immigration helps fill gaps — but it can’t be the whole solution.

Oh interesting - I wasn’t aware either. I thank you kindly for sharing.

Do we know if it’s definitely enforced though?

Perhaos there’s also something to be said for illegal immigration and those that overstay visas etc

I love this post! Great thoughts 👍

You speak so wisely

Thanks for your opinion. I know I am not pretentious so that’s all that matters.

Why would hundreds of legal immigrants - all men - be gathered outside M&S on a Wednesday?

Thanks, I am starting to wish I was! I might delete the post as it’s a bit savage out here for me.

You can't delete your own threads on MN.

@Averagemumessex this is why people asked about AI. There are characteristics that come with AI generated posts. For example, I asked ChatGPT the following prompt:

Hi, please can you write me a forum post about recent immigration levels. Include some evocative examples of 1980s British culture, working class childhood and aspirations of class mobility.

This is what it gave me:

Certainly. Here’s a forum-style post that combines recent immigration themes with evocative memories of 1980s British working-class life and aspirations for class mobility. The tone is conversational yet thoughtful, suitable for sparking discussion on a community or opinion forum.

---

Title: Immigration Today, Through the Eyes of a Child of the 1980s

I’ve been reflecting a lot recently on the changes this country has gone through — and I keep finding myself comparing things now to how they were when I was growing up in the 1980s.

Back then, I was a council estate kid in the North — dad on shifts at the factory, mum cleaning at the school just down the road. We didn’t have much, but we had structure. We knew our neighbours. We played in the street — Kirby against the kerb, British Bulldog till it went dark, and we’d race back in when we heard the ice cream van jingle (which doubled as your mum’s dinner bell).

People often talk about class mobility like it’s a myth, but it wasn’t back then. We did believe we could move up, even if just a rung or two. “Work hard at school and you won’t have to work like I did,” my dad used to say, his hands black with grease. There was pride in graft. Education was your ticket out, and not in a smug way — more like a baton being passed on.

Fast forward to now — and immigration’s become one of those flashpoints. You can’t switch on the telly or scroll through the news without seeing figures about “record levels” or politicians shouting over each other about borders, visas, boats. The numbers are real: net migration has risen sharply in recent years, particularly post-Brexit. But numbers don’t tell the whole story, do they?

There are folks who feel like the ground’s shifting under their feet. Like the familiar is being replaced so quickly they don’t even recognise their own high streets anymore. I get that. There’s genuine anxiety — about housing, schools, the NHS creaking at the seams — and it often gets channelled toward immigrants. But let’s be honest: this country’s been under-invested in for decades. It’s not newcomers who shut down the steelworks or sold off the railways.

At the same time, I see the same spirit in some of the migrant families around here now that my parents had. Grafting, building, dreaming of better for their kids. I see it in the kids with perfect accents and school uniforms slightly too big, chasing those same class ladders we once climbed.

But I also understand why people are uneasy. When you're still in the same rented flat you were born in, working two jobs and feeling like the promises you were fed have been broken — it's hard not to look for a reason. But blaming immigrants for a housing crisis created by years of political failure is like blaming the kettle for the blackout.

My question is: can we talk about all this — honestly, emotionally, and without letting the conversation be hijacked by either the far-right or the blindly idealistic left?

Because I miss a country where someone from a miner's family could become a teacher, or a nurse, or maybe even own a semi-detached with a garden. I don’t want those dreams to die. Not for anyone — born here or not.

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Would you like this tailored for a specific forum (like Reddit, a political board, or a local community group)?

OP, do you see any similarities??

I totally get where you are coming from. I agree with your sentiment. I’m not an immigrant. I suppose I was when I worked in the UK for a few years but took in my stride Irish jokes. I was in a well respected profession at the time though so perhaps not going to be viewed through the same lens as others. Two of my siblings work abroad also - so I view them as immigrants to their respective (white) countries. I wonder how they are viewed? They are both highly educated and in professions if you like. They will unlikely ever rely on state aid. So I suppose there are the two tiers of immigrant. I do not like where I am living now having completely changed in a short space of time. I don’t apologise for that. I think as humans it is innate to fear outsiders and change. It’s how we survived for thousands of years. Small communities built up and outsiders coming in were viewed as a threat to resources. When you have a housing crisis like Ireland does it seems insane to deny that there is a link. But the left do. You are labelled racist if you ‘blame’ immigration. Equally as humans for thousands of years we kept safe in communities with a healthy fear of outsiders in order to protect our vulnerable, children, women, elderly in case they raided the village for food. Groups of men, are a physical threat ((I am not saying they would do anything) but innately until we know them, have their background etc we are suspicious and just fearful. If I am a Neanderthal then so be it. I’m sure if a 100 white men people started hanging out around the Masai Mara where the tribes normally forage for food it would be viewed as some sort of invasion. And that’s what it sometimes feels like. Same in Nigeria, India- places where white people are few and far between but their native population flock to majority white countries. So all that to say, trust your instincts, it’s there for a reason. And I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m racist / unwelcoming/ uneducated/ hypocritical etc etc. I feel what I feel and won’t be made to think I am a bad person for it. So pop along.

Ah here, people keep saying “sure immigration’s not working, the NHS is still banjaxed.” But come on — it’s not the immigrants breaking it, it’s the system itself!

You’ve nurses and carers running themselves into the ground, doing savage hours for peanuts, and somehow they’re the problem? Cop on.

We don’t need “more immigration,” we need to mind the people we’ve already got — fair pay, decent hours, and a bit of feckin’ respect. That’s what’ll sort it, not finger-pointing.

It’s all in the em gaps.

I am honestly not trying to stir up any controversy however yes it is extremely noticeable. That is my whole point. It’s the scale of the groups of men who have nothing to do other than hang around that is unsettling.
They are doing nothing wrong however they just hang around on the high street. It is a pedestrian area with some trees and benches and now approx 100 immigrants. Not 100’s but yes up to 100.