Good post OP. Many of us have suspected this for years.
The Labourites are a bunch of entertainers and thespians of little talent. They are a travelling circus who put shows on in constituencies up and down the kingdom. They are like that famous group, 'The Travelling Raspberries', regaling audiences with their forte of blowing raspberries. They follow in the footsteps of their idol and inspiration, the circus entrepreneur, P.T. Barnum.
P.T. Barnum is credited with the quote "there's a sucker born every minute", and the Labourites agree and view the good people who vote for them in this manner. Mrs. Duffy, the lifelong Labour supporter, whose union representative father used to proudly sing the 'Red Flag', found that out that haesh truth, the day that she went to buy a loaf of bread.
Like thespians they have been trained to talk their way out of a paper bag. They have studied another quote attributed to P.T. Barnum, "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time". They lament that it is not possible to fool all of the people all of the time, but they do their best to fool as many as they can for as long as they can. The election found them out, but they're back, hamming it up as ever, putting on spectacles and reading from autocues. They have all the circus attractions; jugglers, clowns, trapeze artists in charge of the economy and the elephant in the room in overall charge of economic policy, the star attraction. You've seen him before, you know the score, it's the same all mumbo jumbo, delivered at the despatch box by Dumbo.