Having children is essentially a selfish thing to do.

[PrettyCandles]

We have children because we want them. Is there any other reason? I suppose religious people have children because of God's commandment to multiply, and sometimes parents have another child to try to save the life of one they already have.

But don't we all translate selfish as being bad? Can it really be said to be bad to have children?If at least some people didn't have children then society would fall apart. Who would work to fund older people's pensions, healthcare etc? I guess we could all adopt from more populated parts of the world, but many people have ethical issues with that too. It's a real concern for many Western countries where birth rates are dipping close to (or below) replacement rates, and the population profile is changing radically.

It can be said to be "bad" when one section of the population (who are under-valued) are doing it (alone, apparantly, because the other section of humanity have no say in it at all, they're all just sperm-donors, if you believe Michael Burke).

And selfish is a very negative word in our language. (Which is why Dawkins deliberately used the title "the selfish gene".)

[Late night crotchety icon]

And if we're 'bad' for wanting to have children, then so is every other species on the planet. The instinct to want children has to be seperated from any moral reasoning because it's just that, an instinct, not a consicous reasoning process. How to provide for those children is however. But its a catagory error to lump them together as though they were one and the same.

When I get told that we are selfish for having an only child(and sadly, people do feel at liberty to tell me this) - I do think well, aren't almost all parents in this country selfish for having children? we have children because we want to and, in my opinion, that is fine.

i do not think having kids is a selfish thing to do as they are our future and if we did not have them then life would not go on.

What an interesting thread! As a churchgoer I want children and wouldnt have them otherwise just because of what god wants us to do. I don't think it is a selfish thing to do (have children) as when the child is conceived and then born, wouldn't it be the parent (us) who turn into the selfless person who would do anything, even die just to keep our children healthy and alive?

Why is choosing to have only one child selfish? To me, having gone from one to two, it seems odd - no offense intended - because having two gives you such a different perspective on things. But it's as much a personal choice and a valid one as having children is at all.