Attending Reform synagogue after Orthodox upbringing... anyone else doing so?

[Lulumaam]

I live in a small town where there is not really an Orthodox community to speak of, but the Reform community is quite well established and new people are joining.

Finding it a bit different, but good in many ways. DS is 10.5 so we are gearing up for Bar Mitzvah etc..

anyone else made the transition from Orthodox to Reform.. did you do anything official to make the change ? I don't think I want to, but then it is nice being part of a community again.

any words of wisdom/advice?

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just me then??

Lulumaam

I'm not really sure what you're looking for. The Reform synagogue won't expect you to do anything. It would be quite insulting to them to suggest you need to convert from orthodox Judaism (although a few ultra-orthodox rabbis might approve). Therefore no welcoming ceremony expected.

Also, as you were brought up orthoodox, you will know that they are generally not that enthusiatic about the Reform, but also that you can't stop being Jewish by attending a different shul. So there's no leaving ceremony either.

If you want to keep kosher, do something for shabbat, etc, then all strands of the faith would encourage you to do so, irrespective of where you worship. I think you are making it into a bigger deal than it really is.

Samantha

righty ho

was just looking for someone who has perhaps made the change and transition into different parts of the faith as of course there are notable differences in the services and so on, how they had found it, there are some really big changes and i was just wanting to see how others had managed the different mind set etc

was not really expecting a welcoming ceremony just some reassurance and advice on the transition

My experience has been the other way round, I'm afraid. It depends what you're used to. if the Reform is the only player in town, it will propbably cover a fairly broad range from religious to scarcely identifying. Also, reform might be quite happy with parking in car park, using money on shabbat, etc, which you may find odd. The service is probably a bit more formal, and there will be more in English, perhaps some poetry or selected readings, not necessarily biblical. Often they have pews so that you can't move around and chat, or leave halfway through for a breath of fresh air. And I've got a nasty feeling that when they say the service starts at 10, that's when they expect you to turn up!

Good luck with the barmitzvah. In my experience, there is less leining, because the Reform read only 1/3rd of the weekly reading, but on the other hand your son may be expected to lead the service as well, which is quite a useful skill to have.

thanks very much, i appreciate you taking the time to help. slightly bizarre to see a car park in use on saturday and to shake hands with the rabbi! but they could not have been any more welcoming and i feel that being part of a reform community is certainly better than none. the orthodox shul has virtually no members and certainly no bar mitzvah age children.

they have said DS can do the whole sedra or just get called up ( he is dyslexic) so depends on how it all goes, but everyone has been incredibly warm and welcoming

thanks

Hi Lulumaman, my DH had to "adjust" when he moved from Orthodox to Reform. Initially the organ, the amount of English in the service and the lack of choir/ chazan would irk him. It felt all wrong to him. Now he doesn't notice anymore.

The thing that helped DH "settle" into our community was to become involved. He got roped into becoming a warden and taking part in services. His good level of Hebrew/ orthodox upbringing are much appreciated.

hi, mae, thank you for your reply, sorry mine is so late

I met up with some of hte other women from the shul, one of whom is also new and we all ahd a long chat and it has really helped. i feel very welcome and i think this is going to be something really really positive

thank you x