Finding time to pray?...

[gingertoo]

That's it really. How and when do you find time to pray...

I lead a very busy life (with kids, hubby, house, study, work, church work etc) and I find it very difficult to find time to pray.

I do pray. But I pray in the car on a journey, in the shower, outside school in the car while I wait for the kids, at odd times of the day when I remember someone or when I'm touched by a conversation / phonecall / news item etc,
I also say a prayer when I get into bed and when I put the children to bed.

What I don't get is a quiet time for reflection / thoughtful / structured prayer...

So, what do you do? When do you pray? Does it matter when / how you pray?

www.pray-as-you-go.org/

Really that's all you can expect to have time for and it is fine, living your life against a backdrop of prayer.
Susannah Wesley would put her apron over her head and sit in her chair in the kitchen if she wanted a few minutes of communion with the Lord.
You might be able to organise a day away from the family for a retreat, but if that is not possible... God knows just how busy you are and loves you for it.

I second what DO said. I'm like you - I pray as-and-when, with very little time for quiet reflection, and tend to fall into bed at the end of the day with a final prayer of 'Dear Lord........ oh, you know......' and trust in the knowledge that he does indeed know (!!) and will respond to my innermost prayers and needs even when I don't have the mental energy to voice them or meditate upon them.

I read a book a year or two ago on prayer (very much a 'how to' guide) by an Anglican Bishop (I forget who, sorry!). One of the things he said in the book really struck a chord and has stuck with me: he said that the time when your family are young is the hardest time in your life you will ever have when it comes to prayer, and that we should "be gentle" and kind to ourselves during this time; don't expect to be able to find time for quiet solitude and reflection because you will most likely not manage it. God knows your needs and will respond. There will be time later for a more reflective relationship with God.

I cried reading it! But it's true. God does know your needs. He isn't going anywhere, either, and will wait for you until you have the time and space in your life to deepen your prayerful relationship with him.

It sounds to me like you are doing just fine

I'm so glad it's not just me (2 & 4yo DC here), I've even been known to pray on the loo but sometimes it's the only quiet 2 minutes I get (even then I sometimes have one or both DC "accompany" me )

I'm supposed to be trying to find more time for quiet prayer as one of my Lent commitments, but not doing too well so far, off to check out that link...

Thank you for posting this as I found it very interesting.

I pray 6 times a day (I am a Muslim and so 5 prayers are obligatory). The 6th one I do is optional but carries much "reward" as you have to wake up from your sleep to do it. As the prayers are at set times, you have to make time and you know when to make time. That is a benefit. The downside is that it can become routine and just a ritual if you are not concentrating but going through the motions. However, I make about 5-7 mins after each prayer for reflection.

I do believe strongly that God hears our prayers at any time of the day because prayer is a conversation with God and so can take place at any time anywhere. It seems like you are doing fine.

Sounds to me as if you pray LOTS! I have to admit I'm lucky in that I get chance to pray at church most mornings, once the kids have gone to school. As I open up the church, it gives me the discipline to go and pray too.

I also like the 3 minute daily retreats by Loyola Press, which give me peace and calm:
www.loyolapress.com/3-minute-retreats-daily-online-prayer.htm

Mrs Cadwallader, are you thinking of "Ways to Pray" by David Thomson (Bishop of Huntingdon, and my local bishop)? His book is very good.

Mary I've been searching online for it and I think it was this one

I borrowed it from the library a couple of years ago though so I can't be 100%!

It is important to be able to change your pattern of spirituality to the phase of life you are in. When I was a student I had plenty of time by myself for contemplation and reflection. When I was married and working but before kids came along things shifted again, with lunch hours being my main time for reading or prayer. With pre-school children any thought of the standard "quiet time" is nearly impossible.

To get round this I have recognised that most Christian spiritual examples are predicated on retreat (think Desert Fathers, Medieval Mystics, monks, nuns, etc.), but we have few good examples of a spirituality of engagement. As a result anyone with a busy life (i.e. with small children) feel they can't sustain a proper prayer life, when really we are trying to fulfill the wrong sort of prayer life.

I now aim to see God in the circumstanes I am in. So instead of my children being a distraction from God, they are a channel for God to communicate to me. I don't see the daily round of chores as something which takes away from my spiritual time, but recognise that it is part of my service to others (OH, children, local community, etc.) and my pattern of holy life.

Once you start to redefine spirituality and the nature of the holy away from "retreat" and towards "engagement" then maintaining a healthy balance in your Christian life while bringing up children becomes easier.

Cheers,

PV

BetsyBoop - you are not alone. And I'm hugely relieved it's not just me either. I do sometimes worry that it's irreverent, but it really is the only time I get any space to myself.

thanks Dragonmami, so glad it's not just me

I worry about it being irreverent too

I think you can train yourself to use your daily activities to prompt prayer.
Some examples:
Brushing teeth- family health
Cooking- Eating problems dc may have
Ironing- Praying for the member of the family the item belongs to.
Waiting in car or driving- emergency services and hospitals
Making your bed- sex life/ sleep
Making kids beds- dc would have encounters with God in dreams.

A personal example- my dh has fungal toe nails so I have decided that instead of getting cross that he leaves his socks on the floor, I will pray for his toes to be healed.
I agree that you have to be kind to yourself. Have a heart to seek some special time with God, if you are open to this, time will come as and when needed.