Genuine question for 'spirit filled' born again christians

[Mumof]

I know lots of lovely christians but one church I know has alot of christians I Know in it that are so super spiritual (super insenstive too?) and quite frankly so difficult to relate to on a normal level - everything has to be perfect in their lives and they only positively confess etc etc. They actually come across as somewhat false and judgemental yet they firmly believe they are doing gods will. I cant relate to them.

How am I meant to relate to them ? I dont even like to be in their company anymore and that makes me really sad and I just cant understand how their alienating behaviour relates to being a christian in the true sense.

I want to know if anyone else has had the same experience and how they handled it?

I am confused and a bit hurt to be honest at being so judged!

No direct experience myself but a friend of mine (from church) attended a very 'spirit-filled' church as a student, and said it put her off church altogether for some time, for the reasons you said. I think the particular sticking point for her was that speakng in tongues was a big part of regular worship and my friend was made to feel that she wasn't a 'proper' Christian if she couldn't / wouldn't speak in tongues (which seems to me to be a crazy suggestion - Paul's letters go out of their way to tell us how we all possess different gifts and all of them serve God)

You haven't said if you are a Christian yourself? If you are, an 'exercise' I often do if I am struggling with someone (struggling to like them, feel kindly towards them, whatever) is to just say to myself 'God's child' - just a reminder to myself that whatever else I might feel about this person, they are a child of God as much as any other, and whatever they say or however they act, God loves that person just as much as any other. I helps me whenever I start feeling judgemental about someone else's behaviour - most especially when I start getting narky because they are spiritually 'wrong'

Or - if you find their company so uncomfortable - avoid them. And if you do have to be in their company, let it 'wash over' you. No, you don't have to be able to rellate to them. Sometimes you just can't. It's not your fault, and not theirs. It just is.

Sorry that was a terrible ramble I hope it makes some sense!

If you are feeling 'judged' in an uncomfortable way then that is already wrong in the first place.
Scripture says that we should not judge one another. I'll find the reference for you (or somebody else will) but it says: "Who are you to judge your brother?" (Goes for sisters too).
So all we owe each other is love. As Mrs C says, they are children of God, they have to account to God for their own behaviour, you have to account for yours.
They have no right and no reason to judge you.
Love them, but maybe love them from a distance. Pray for them, ask God to bless them, put the blessing of God between you and smile.
If nothing else you will feel the blessing of God on your life, because you are doing what he rquires of you. He will deal with the others.

Matthew 7:1
Do not judge, so that you may not be judged

I'd say speak to them and tell them how you are feeling, if that doesnt solve their ways then distance yourself from these people as it is cleary making you unhappy.
x x x

thanks guys you make sense

yes I am a christian although lesser in their eyes as i have not caught all christianity is and declaring it

infact i am quite comfortable in my faith so that really irks me!

ill do the golds child thing that rocks

god even

It's Romans 14:10-22 I was thinking of. I know that this talks mainly about food, but I have always thought that it also concerns forms of worship where it is ever so easy to look down on one another.

As for speaking in tongues.. don't even get me started on that one.

Matthew 6:1-7 is a relevent scripture (does quoting scripture make me super spiritual, lol?)

Basically, don't do things to be seen by men. If you do that, then you get your reward in full.

However, it tells us only what we can do, not what we can expect others to do. I thnk the advice about looking at those people as God's children is really helpful. I am assuming that they are warm-hearted and genuinely caring, mission-focussed, etc etc.

The other useful bit of scripture is about the Body of Christ. We aren't all the same, we were never meant to be, but together, we are perfection. It is not easy to be a little toe, when someone else is a beautiful eye - but that may be the plan that God has for us. Looking through the bible, there are many bible heroes who were low on glamour.

We can take a lesson from our super spiritual sisters. They don't know their bible quotes for no good reason. The have read their bibles daily, alongside commentaries. They have faithfully attended bible studies and hung off every word of their equivalents back then. They have a prayer life to die for.

They shouldn't make you feel bad for not having the same bible study and prayer disciplines, but surely they should be allowed to witness and testify? They need to encourage you in your Christian journey, but not judge. How you respond is a very fine line. At the end of the day, you should not be judging them, which is exactly what you are accusing them of. If you see a speck...take the plank out of your own eye (owtte).

hi mb , nope I love scripture so I dont make that super spiritual

'Basically, don't do things to be seen by men' thats the problem!!!!! thats what imo their christianity appears to be all about them which is why I am so flipping confused!!! for example how well they talk the 'right' talk, how well they 'positively confess' ie im doing greeeeeeeeeeat look at me, I am a pillar of what god can do / I am 100% healthy in every way - when they for example have a stinking head cold and look like death warmed up . Its so waring and difficult to relate to as it comes across as deluded / false and not real quite frankly! It annoys me as Jesus wasnt like this from what I read in the bible!

and no, sadly, they are not especially warm-hearted and genuinely caring, mission-focussed, etc etc its all about positively confessing, praying properly using jewish terminology, blah blah.....to me unnecessary shackles that dont make you a better christian or attractive for jesus.

I concur when you said We can take a lesson from our super spiritual sisters. They don't know their bible quotes for no good reason. The have read their bibles daily, alongside commentaries. They have faithfully attended bible studies and hung off every word of their equivalents back then. They have a prayer life to die for. I was not talking about solid, humble sisters. Im talking in your face, Im better than you and heres why....attitude christian sisters. It bugs me because I see it as wrongfully boastful when we should be giving god the glory and making him look...

ps, madameblueberry, veggietales ?

First person to notice, mumof

I work full time now so don't do women's bible studies cum lunch anymore.

However, I did very often feel very inadequate, even though intellectually, I had a lot to offer. I felt bad that I didn't have a chapter and verse quotation at my fingertips, or was able to admit to stopping in the middle of Sainsbury's as I prayed with a complete stranger. I did have bad thoughts about my sisters, but when trying to figure out what, I couldn't pin anything on them. I also thought that perhaps I was more of a Martha rather than a Mary - both important, and much of what we do in our church is mission, so hospitality is a very valuable spiritual gift.

It sounds like your friends are on the pious side, and I would find it difficult too. I feel strongly and passionately that our job is to encourage one another. Piety can be a subtle (or not) put-down or judgment, which is certainly not encouraging.

I feel strongly and passionately that our job is to encourage one another. Piety can be a subtle (or not) put-down or judgment, which is certainly not encouraging.

Thats how I feel in a nut shell madameB!!!

I like unity

The 'obvious' solution would be to say:"Why do you stay around them then?" But I know full well that that would make you even more of a spiritual 'toad' in their eyes and probably even in yours too.
The thing to hang on to is the encouragement of Jesus when He said to Peter: "Never mind him (John), you follow me." (John 21:22).
You are a very much loved child of God and must concentrate on believing what He tells you rather than what 'super-spiritual, positively confessing' sisters tell you.

thanks dutch that makes great sense to me too.

Have you experience of what I am talking about out of interest?

Oh definitely Mumof. We found ourselves in a straightforward Baptist church when the minister went off to some Crusade, Don Double I think it was. He hated it initially, and wanted to leave, but couldn't because he literally got "stuck in the mud" with his caravan. He took it as a sign from God and came back all fired up, all filled with the Holy Spirit and if you didn't lift your arms or spoke in tongues you were definitely a second rate Christian.
He came back from this caper and became the lovely intelligent, intellectual Christian again, but meanwhile we had left the church with about 30 others.
It's difficult to get over that sort of thing, but you have to keep in mind that you are not pleasing men but God.
I can speak four languages and have knowledge of Greek and Latin, I can also, if I so wish speak in tongues, but didn't at that time, because I did not feel it was from God at all.