Christian Marriage?

[changequick1]

There is nothing in the bible that says what you should do if your husband abuses, mistreats and constantly puts you down, other than turn the other cheek. I have been worn down and I'm in a very hard place right now.

I don't have many wise words I'm afraid, but a very wise vicar friend of mine once said that although the marriage service says "until death" he believes that there can be a death in a marriage when the love for the other person dies(through disrespect/ abuse etc) - therefore there is a death, although not actual death, and therefore in his opinion in those cases divorce would be the right thing to do, and not unChristian in any way.
Sorry I can't be more helpful.

The turn the other cheek injuction is about your enemy - not your spouse! The Bible doesn't tell you to be a doormat.

There is something in the Bible about how you should treat your spouse, though. And it doesn't sound as though your dh has taken it on board.

Are you in a church? Is there anyone you can talk to?

So sorry you are feeling so low.

I talked to a vicar a year or so ago who had just married friends, one of them divorced. He said simply: some marriages just become a living hell. He seemed to completely accept that kind of marriage breakdown.

Can I suggest you talk to your own vicar or get some Christian counselling. You can't be condemned to a life of misery. I think you need someone in your church to give you reassurance.

Don't turn the other cheek. Your husband is not behaving like a Christian. I hope he's never hit you? For Pete's sake don't turn the other cheek. Call the police. You have the same rights as every other woman.

Also if you are in a long-term emotionally abusive relationship you'll need strength to take action. There are many women on mn who have experience and if you've no one else to talk to, ask them, in the relationships topic.

Please don't think you have to put up with abuse and cruelty, and can't leave, just because you are a Christian. Please don't think that. Don't put up with any kind of abusive crap.

changequick1 - nowhere in the bible does it say you have to stay in a loveless, abusive marriage either. I found it difficult to end my first marriage as I thought it was "until death do us part" as well. It took me a long time to find the courage to end things before they got really bad. It took me even longer to reconcile that with my faith, but you WILL get there in the end. You just need to find the courage for the first step

thinkingaboutdrinking - a very wise vicar friend indeed I wish the vicar at my church had been so understanding when my first marriage broke down in similar circumstances...

Read Paul's description of responsibilities in marriage in Ephesians. This is what helped me to realise that my physically and emotionally abusive marriage had toend. I didn't divorce but did leave. If your husband is not treating you in a scripturally sound way then he is failing in his responsibilities as a husband and has broken your mariage contract anyway.

Men are supposed to love their wives as themselves and treat them as their own flesh. My abusive, alcoholic husband couldn't do this and it took me finding th courage to leave th change his behaviour. God does not want to to be stuck in this kind of situation, it is not what marriage is supposed to be like. Christ treated women with respect and love and so should our spouses.

Hope you are ok changequick. A woman in my Bible study group a couple of years ago had divorced her abusive husband. She was very devout. But she knew it wasn't required of her to tolerate cruelty and abuse.