Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Original poster

never been to church before- what happens?!

20 replies

glitterkitty · 12/11/2009 13:22

I want to go along to our local church- they have a baby/toddler friendly service on Sundays.

But I have never been before as me and dp do not come from churchgoing families.

Can anyone sort of tell me what happens? I know I'll feel really stupid and out of place, and wont know what to say/do! Thanks!

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 12/11/2009 13:25

What type of church are you planning to go to?

paranormalghostygoat · 12/11/2009 13:26

OK in our church all that happens is the service is made more child friendly. It is always stories that kids can join in with holding up signs or pictures, answer questions if they feel like it. Normally toys and things to play with at the back of church. It's a bit shorter so only 30 minutes and then perhaps tea/coffee & biscuit afterwards.

I would go in, smile and you'll be fine. They'll expect the kids to make a bit of noise and walk around but just keep an eye on them.

You'll get a service sheet normally 1 piece of A4 to tell you what is going on as well that week. Sometimes you'll find there is a christening going on that week which is lovely for the kids to see and be involved in.

Original poster
glitterkitty · 12/11/2009 13:27

Hi Lynnette!

Church of england- on web it says:
Style of Worship 'Modern Catholic'

OP posts:
Original poster
glitterkitty · 12/11/2009 13:28

And... 'Our services are based on Common Worship Order One'?

Its like a language I dont understand!

OP posts:
Original poster
glitterkitty · 12/11/2009 13:31

Thanks ghostygoat!

OP posts:
Nettee · 12/11/2009 13:34

someone will give you a service sheet on the way in and you will go and sit down in a pew. Then your follow the sheet, stand up and sit down when everyone else does. Sing hymns, say prayers all together, listen to readings and a sermon and then drink tea afterwards. Will probably be less formal than I just described as aimed at toddlers.

Unlikely to be a communion service but if so most people go up to the front to get wine and a wafer and if you want a blessing instead you keep your hands low and bow your head.

people will be really pleased to see you and make you feel welcome but there is no pressure to say or do anything (except maybe to stand up and sit down at the right times which everyone does at the same time anyway)

Nettee · 12/11/2009 13:37

common worship order one looks like communion might well be included

Original poster
glitterkitty · 12/11/2009 13:41

Hi Nettee thanks- that link is useful I'll have a look- I do like to have an idea of what to expect when I go somewhere new and I must admit I feel apprehensive...!

Thanks again

OP posts:
Nettee · 12/11/2009 13:42
  • offering the sign of the peace involves shaking peoples hands in the immediate area and saying peace be with you.

there are loads of different options in that link but the chances are they will have decided which words they are going to use and will print them on the service sheet

AMumInScotland · 12/11/2009 13:57

If you're lucky, everything you need will all be printed on one piece of paper, and you just work your way through that. If you're less lucky, you might have a service book, a hymn book and a sheet of paper. But don't worry - people around you will be friendly and will help to keep you right.

If in doubt, just stand and sit when the people round you do.

DutchOma · 12/11/2009 16:44

Aim to be there 5-10 minutes before the service is due to start. There's bound to be someone at the door. Just say you have never been before and is there anywhere particular you should sit. They will take it that you have not been to that particular church before and they will be very glad to help you
We have a small team of people for just that purpose and would be very glad to have you with us. Let us know how it goes.
How old are your children?

BetsyBoop · 12/11/2009 19:36

They will probably have bags of books/toys etc in church, but just in case it's worth taking some quietish toys along to keep the kids amused. Nobody minds the kids making a bit of noise (other that one old biddy who will tut - every church has one ) especially in a service aimed at families, it's just easier for you if the kids are kept entertained. (You will be stressing more about the noise they are making than anyone else in church will be, trust me, been there done that...!)

Also it's worth checking if your church has a children & families worker or something similar (will probably be on their website if they have one) you could always ring her/him beforehand. They would be more than happy to welcome you & introduce you to a few families so that you don't feel on your own.

chrisrobin · 14/11/2009 20:31

Its great that you want to go, don't be put off because its new.

I've recently returned to church with my two weans and everyone was so welcoming and happy to see us

I can't help you with what to expect from the service as I'm URC but I'm sure the congregation will be happy to show you what to do during the service.

AuraofDora · 14/11/2009 20:37

they will crucify your mind and take your wallet
prayers songs draftiness sermon handshake and home

DutchOma · 15/11/2009 09:00

I'm really sad that is your experience AuraofDora, it is not the same for all of us.

mathsmum · 16/11/2009 21:25

glitterkitty - have you taken the plunge?

as a methodist, i'm no better placed than chrisrobin wrt practicalities, but a church that advertises a child-friendly service will hopefully do what it says on the tin - i hope you find it welcoming and enjoyable - you and your kids should benefit greatl, in so many ways xx

Original poster
glitterkitty · 17/11/2009 18:53

Hello all, thank you, thank you for bothering to reply to me!

Well, I didnt get there this weekend- ds was (is) not well and just wanted to cling and stay home.

But I'm really hoping this Sunday is the day! And DP has agreed that he will come with us sometimes too so that's nice.

I went and peered in the gates today. I think my fantasy is an interesting talk on some part of the bible, moments where I can think or pray, and not too much singing of hymns that I dont know!

I know this is unlikely to be the case with ds in tow but hey...

OP posts:
BetsyBoop · 17/11/2009 22:01

I hope your DS is better & you manage to get there this Sunday glitterkitty

DutchOma · 18/11/2009 07:04

I think the bit where you have quiet time to pray and think is the least likely to be fulfilled.
I hope you get a talk on some part of the Bible, it's likely to be quite short in a CofE church and hopefully gives you something to think about for the rest of the week.
As for the hymns and the music, even if you don't any of it now, you soon will.
And they'd better be kind to you or we will all be after them in droves.
Hope your little boy is well enough to go next Sunday, I'll be thinking of you.
Failing that there are bound to be extra services over the Christmas period in the next couple of weeks, where all the 'normal' liturgy goes out of the window and everything is even more 'child' (baby) friendly than usual

nighbynight · 18/11/2009 07:35

Sit at the back so that you can see what everyone else is doing, and sit/stand at the right times!

Hope you get a good sermon!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page