Feeling like I need more from my church

[flibertygibet]

I have been attending church for about 5 years now, since my son was born. It is CofE, very 'high' church. It is attached to the school that he goes to. If I'm honest, I did start going because it helped his case for getting into the school. (please don't flame me for that. I was raised a Christian and have always felt I'd like my dc's to have a Christian education).

However, I have found a greater sense of spirituality and connection with God since I've been going to church. But I've found a greater sense of faith through the other parents at the school.

So I feel like I would like to 'switch' churches but is this something that's 'done'. My son doesn't like the Sunday School, he prefers to sit in church with dh and me. I enjoy the sermons but I have no contact with anyone in the church outside of Sunday mornings and those parents who go to the school.

I guess the bottom line is I'm looking for more. More of a church community. More spiritual guidance. I can honestly say I have not met one new person through the church. It was probably 2 years before anyone came up to me and introduced themselves.

Any thoughts?

im praying for you because i am saddened that your church is not more "friendly" its not the way to be!
I dont know what area you are in but i would def consider changing the point of church is to have a personal relationship withGod not the building or the church! but it always is nice to meet and mingle with true christians!
who speak to you and show interest in you!
My church is a family and i love it so do my kids!
I thank God for He directed me there and i will never leave- I pray that God will direct you to a place of true worship and family in the Lord.

God Bless you and your family xx

Thank you Mama and TeamEdward...I think you are right and thank you for your prayers. Perhaps I need to extend myself more within the church?

I would like to have a more 'complete' relationship with the church if that makes sense.

Have you tried mentioning your concerns to the vicar? You probably aren't the only person who isn't finding the church very friendly - and churches that don't function as communities tend not to thrive in the longer term. There are other ways of getting spiritual input e.g. there may be a retreat house in your diocese that does study days or other courses that might interest you. But if you feel that you're not growing in faith the way that you'd like to you should definitely speak up both for your own sake and for the other people in the congregation who might well feel exactly the same way.

I would suggest speaking to the Vicar too. If he is any good, he should be aware of this need generally in his church community. It may be that he's tried to get things started before, it may be that he's got plans, but needs a push in the right direction!

Have a think about the sort of things you'd like to see at your church, and then perhaps make an appointment to see him.

I have been having the same problems as you flib in my church.

People can be nice and ARE nice but there is no fellowship which is very upsetting and no youth which would be nice for me. For the mean time I will stay here and hope that the church continues to move forward (even if at a snail pace)

Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in how you feel.

People change churches all the time, for good and bad reasons. I don't think it's a bad thing to check out other churches near you to see if they will provide you with a greater sense of community and spiritual support.

What I would say (as a clergy wife) is that it can be really hurtful for the vicar/minister when someone just stops coming. You are not sure whether they need help in some way or if you have offended them or if they just don't like you!

Although it can be a hard conversation to have, I would go and see the person in charge and explain what the issues are. They may have some suggestions that might help (get involved in a small group, for example). If you give those a try and you still don't feel it is the right place for you, then it is a kindness to the church to have an 'exit' conversation. It won't be the first time someone has left, I'm sure!

Thanks everyone. I've talked to a few people I know at the church about this and it seems I'm not the only one! There's a feeling that more needs to be done to make it more welcoming to families. So maybe this is my chance to get involved.

Do you have a women's bible study group at your church, fliberty?

If not, could you start one?

My chuch keeps being up my past and making me vist it again and again its been 5 fives when i lost my kids into care and had them back two years and found god I am told to help people that have lost there kids or are lossing there kids i cannot do it i also got a very diffcult son with needs I feel I cannot keep going on like this Amanda do thid do that And i will its getting me down what shold i do i have talked to the elder and that has not work please help

I am a outsider when it comes to church nobody talkes to me its a new frotiers and I feel trapped thats Amanda she had her children in care and when Jane around and a new person is there this is Amanda I foster her children when they were in care my faith is very important to me put the chuch is getting me down i have moved on found god the chuch wont let me move on from my past i have talked to them they said i am worring I need pray and adive please help thank you Amanda