Atheists and "comfort"

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

I'm just kind of musing here, so this may not be entirely coherent...

My mum has a Christian faith, and said that she found her beliefs "comforting" when my dad died - the thought that he's in a better place, and all that. To me, a non-believer, that's just about the only positive thing a faith can provide that non-faith can't. How can an atheist offer comfort to a bereaved believer? I suppose you could be glad that the departed was now free of pain (if s/he had suffered in dying) but what do you say when it was a sudden death, an accident, a child?

I am an atheist in that I do not believe in any organised religion or any all powerful being or "god". However I am unsure about what happens after we go but I know we have a soul that somehow survives, be it as atoms or in some intact form in a "heaven".

Quite recently I lost my Nan. My Nan was not obviously religious, she didnt attend church but had a vague belief from attending chapel as a girl. My mother is an atheist whilst her sister is a devout catholic. This caused enormous problems when it came to deciding where to bury Nan and what kind of funeral service to have. My Aunt attempted to pursuade Nan to convert to catholisim and confess her sins on her death bed. It was very upsetting for my Mum.

It made the grieving process very difficult for my Mum as she could not communicate well with her sister. My Aunt didnt want to talk about Nan as she firmly believes she will not be in heaven as she did not confess etc...

My Mum said that having us (me and my sis) around helped a lot. We made her laugh and reminded her of things that Nan would have laughed at. My daughters started picking there noses in unison during the funeral service and I know Nan would have found that very funny. We laughed at the fact that they had the theme tune to the Vicar of Dibley during the service and cried at the Welsh choir music she would have loved.

I think basically we just talked about Nan and what a good life she had and how she impacted in such a good way on all our lives. Talking is the most important thing for us.

As to where Nan is now - I am not sure but I often think she looks down and has a good laugh at some of the things we get up to.

OldLady:
Born Agains who tell you you will burn in hell need to be shown that badge which says "It's Your Hell, You Burn In It"!

UQD: hey, I'd wear that badge! Got any spares?

Did OldLady's sister actually say that to her, then? What a horrible, horrible thing to say. Regardless of whether people actually believe that is true, it just amazes me how utterly insensitive people can be. It's very sad that there are people who don't engage their brains in the way they live their lives (with regard to faith or any other aspect of life), and it makes me boil to think that there are some people (e.g. some religious leaders) coercing people into living a brain-free existence.

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Cheers, UQD. >