I've been a believer since I was a kid. Always had faith, had some real encounters with God (and I mean real), but went off the rails quite badly as a teenager - for quite a few years. Held on to the promises of God for my future though, and always knew that He would always be a part of my life.
Think I've made a stack of mistakes, but the thing that is so incredibly difficult is that my life began slowly falling apart around 2002. As it stands today, my marriage is virtually dead, dh has been struggling with various physical complaints & doesn't seem to want to know me (haven't been intimate with him for ages - embarrassed to say how long), I've lost a friend that I had for about 25 years, a couple of close friends (dh's relatives) are going through a nasty divorce and are causing me a lot of stress. They want me to choose between them (the husband has threatened to cut me, dh and my son off for the rest of his life if we don't take his side) and on top of this I struggled with major depression in 2007 & 2008. Still trying to keep my head above water. I only have one child (a boy) whom I love dearly, he is almost the only light in my life right now but I don't want to affect him with any negativity. Very very hard though.
I've had various prophecies over my life from people in ministry and had great hopes for my future (and specific promises from God, I truly believe) so I don't know why this is all happening to me. I have never felt so alone and hopeless. Perhaps this is my 'wilderness' experience - who knows. I pray in tongues which helps somewhat, but I don't think I pray enough to be quite honest. Praying in tongues helped me incredibly at first and I saw some great changes in my life in a short space of time, but I think I allowed other distractions and worries to take over my life. My faith and relationship with God once seemed so simple and straightforward, and now I feel completely distaught. Hard to even muster enough faith to get through this. Would appreciate prayers, other stories or input from anyone who is experiencing anything like this. Just when I get over one hurdle, another one comes. Sorry this is long.