My Dad died 2 weeks ago, and last night ds saw a man in his room..............

[DrNortherner]

DS has had the odd bad dream about monsters before but this was different, he ran into our room screaming and shaking and he was all sweaty, his heart was beating out of his chest nearly.

He said he saw a man with blonde hair peep around his bedroom door(my Dad was blonde when he was a young man but ds never knew him to be blonde), sparkly white teeth (my dad did not have this kind of teeth though) and he heard a voice say 'Goodbye'.

He is still shaken this morning and recalling it vividily.

Now this is rather freaking me out. Was it my Dad, or am I going bonkers?

Ds is 7, and went to the funeral on Tuesday so maybe things are playing on his mind?

Oh how horrid

I would have thought that things were playing on his mind, but then you know your ds better...although had it been your late father, I am sure he wouldn't have wanted to make ds scared. I think the feeling would have been a nice one had it been intended that way iyswim.

So sorry about your Dad

I think, it was probably a dream, thype when you are half awake half asleep. I am a beleiver tho, so I am not biased towards just making an explanation for it!

I would imagine that at 7, having attended the funeral, that it has left a real impression on him, maybe more thanis apparent?

I am really sorry about your dad. Hope ds gets on ok today.

I think that's a vivid dream composed of lots of things - some of which will be images from the funeral and some of which will be things your ds comes across in real life or in his books etc. He may have heard people talking about your Dad as blonde - I'm guessing he can't have been very elderly when he died so perhaps there were elderly relatives at the funeral who would have remembered him when young? Also - the state of somebody's teeth is often something mentioned in children's books.

This is very hard on you - because of course we would all give anything for a bit more time and it's hard to think there's a chance for that and you've missed it or it's gone wrong in some way. You haven't done anything wrong in the way you've handled this btw - yuour ds would have to process this loss in someway and I personally very much believe in young children attending funerals. He hasn't had this dream just because of that - just it's been a stressful time for you all and that shows up in all sorts of ways.

I'm sorry for your loss - it must be very hard for you all

I dont want to cause offence at what clearly is a very difficult time for you (I have suffered the loss of my mum and my mil so im not being deliberately tactless).

I believe your son did see your father in his 'at peace' persona,some spriritualists believe that when we die we return to our looks of optimum health for some thats as a 20 year old for other you are 40 - age is irrelevant.

I think your ds was in a relaxed half asleep mind and that allowed him to 'see' your dad as he 'popped' by - he will pop back again,sometimes youll catch a scent of him sometimes you will see something and think immediately of your Dad and that is when he is with you.

The thing thats scared your ds is the 'fear' of the dead its a fear we all have because its not a fear that can be measured,reassure your son that his grandad loved him and even if it was him grandad loved him so he would never hurt him and isnt it nice if he really did see grandad that he looked so well with lovely teeth,let it pass.

I myself have had a 'few' of these experiences as a child they scared me but as an adult it is of ultimate reassurance to my dh that his mother 'visited me'- incidentally in my 'dream' mil was the exact opposite of how id known her- she was very 'earthy' with short bleached hair (a bit like a earthy pottery teacher) quite different to the smart classic way she did dress and dh explained that by saying she longed to dress like that but his dad had very clear ideas how a woman should dress and milconformed.

i also believe that you ds probably did see him - however the only thing that i would question is that his grandad would not want to frighten him - so why did he? the only reason i say this is that my gran whom i was very close to has spoken to me before when i was in a dream - i know it was her, it was her voice, and a medium 2 years later retold the dream to me. And told me she'd never show herself to me as she know i'd freak out!

So sorry for the loss of your dad

My Dad died last July, and shortly after my then 7yo DD felt him lying next to her in bed, she felt his breath on her neck and was really re-assured. Several things happened in the week following his death but all to my DD. She also saw him out of the corner of her eye at school one day but felt happy knowing he was always watching over her. I, on the other hand, have felt quite cheated that I haven't 'seen' him, but I do know she takes great comfort in that he 'chose' her to visit.

When my dad died my DD saw himn for ages.
It was not anything I have ever been able to rationalise even though my instinct would be not to believe.

She was only two and he had died when we were out of the country so the events were not traumatic for her really. She just used to mention that she saw grandad and that he was pulling faces and making her laugh.

The really strange thing was that when we then went on holiday DS2 also started saying that he saw grandad as well. He was banging on the door in the garage part of the house we rented and calling him.
the odd thing about that is that DS2 has very very severe autism and doesn't pretend.

Finally DD became quite upset one night and said that grandad had to go and wouldn't be coming back.
She mentions sometimes ( several years later) that she misses him but thats it. She seemed to derive huge fun and comfort from seeing him - it never was a scary thing.
I don't resent that I didn't see him - I know he would have wanted to see her rather than me - she was his favorite

I still don't know honestly what i believe but to me it doesn't really matter.

I've been thinking about what ds said all day, and to cap it off, I was upstairs earlier in my bedroom putting away some laundry and my dog (a black lab) was laid on the rug next to my bed, all of a sudden he was growling at something but growling into thin air. Then he walked very slowly towards the mirrored door on my wardrobe still growling and started barking furiously at what seemed to be only his reflection in the mirror.

I am worried I am reading far too much into this, not sure I am thinking straight, but my dog has never behaved like that before.

well that's not normal for a dog to do is it! maybe your dad is about. What area do you live, maybe see a medium. you may feel odd saying it, but do talk out load to him,ask if it's him and say it's frighening you.

Our youngest ds was born after mil died and he used to tell us about sitting with a lady watching us before he was here he knew this was his nanna and told us all sorts of things we would never have mentioned to him.

I know I saw my mil after she died she was so real I could even smell her,dh tells of a time he was very worked up and couldnt rest as he was dozing off he felt his mum kiss his cheek- he slept like a log.

Dr N. I think your Dad is trying to reassure you hes still with you and perhaps because hes so newly departed hes giving off vibes that your ds mininteroreted and the dog sensed.

I think your Dad is watching you- if he is there will be other clues and signs.

DRivinmecrazy with regards to you not 'seeing' your dad - I have a thought at the time Im sure my mil visited me (i was asleep but this was an absolute glorious technicolour dream)I asked her why my own mum hadnt come to me (she died when i was 11) my mil explained to me that id never accepted losing her and that until i could she wasnt able to get to me because if she did my grief would start all over again and i would want my mum as an 11 year old not as the 'adult' I am now- I hope that makes sense to you.

this happened to my brother when we were little, after my granny died he'd often say she'd visited and he'd talked to her.

DrN I think whatever you believe the most important thing is to reassure ds as it sounds like the experience frightened him (your Dad prob knows this and will be more cauious about visiting you now ) what ever you believe, even if you think its ds's imagination, I think it would be wise to tell him that his grandad didn't mean to scare him and just wanted to check he was ok and if it happens again he shouldn't worry - I distinctly remember my mum doing this with my brother and, although I truely believe he did see my granny, I know he took a lot of reassurance from knowing that it was ok, I'm sorry for your loss x

Hi DrN, sorry to hear about your dad - mine died about the same time last year. In answer to your question though, no, he didn't see your dad.

Not entirely surprising though that he had this experience, given what's happening with his family at the moment, being at the funeral itself and childrens' inherent tendency to personalise things.

As another poster said though, the most important thing is that the experience clearly scared him. It may simply be a one-off, but to the extent it occurs again it might be worth sitting down with him when he's awake to talk a bit more about your dad, how he feels about it and whether he'd like to ask you anything and give him the reassurance he might need.

I believe your Ds did see you Dad. He came to him in his sleep. Children are very intuitive, psychic and spiritual. They say, dont they that when people die and you see them in your dreams they really are there and come to you in reality. When my great aunt died she came to me in a dream and gave me a hug. When my Ex-FIL died he came to me in a dream and was really nice to me which he wasnt in life. I truly believe all this stuff. My youngest ds is very telepathic and knows exactly what i am thinking , he is psychic and very intuitive indeed. Look out your child may see him again. Those who have passed over are normally very very keen to get in touch with us . My best friends son 20yrs died last summer . We went to a Medium show and i was picked out ,,, he came to me thro the clairvoyant ,, everything she said was spot on. AMazing !!

My grandfather died around 10 years ago and several times since then I have sensed that he was around. He was a pipe smoker and had a very distinctive smell which I have smelt from time to time. The first time was very soon after his funeral and the other times have been after the birth of my children. Who knows if it is him, but it is a nice reminder of him.