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Original poster

Justabout, have you got a minute ?

16 replies

ChurchOrNoChurch · 01/03/2009 12:30

If you were christened, confirmed and use to go to church, stopped going at a teenager and now wanted to start attending again but unsure why, is that disrespectful to the church concerned ? I don't know what I want/would get out of it but feel this is something I want to do. Do you have to be totally sure in your belief to attend church ?

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 01/03/2009 12:34

Hi churchornochurch - Im a reluctant church attender atm too

It absolutely doesnt matter how you feel or what you believe - if you want to go - GO

I was keen to go this morning (havent been near church in months) but my neighbours kept me awake till gone 2am - AGAIN! So that provided me with a handy excuse not to go

I will endeavour to go next week............

Original poster
ChurchOrNoChurch · 01/03/2009 12:43

I haven't been to church in years and never to this particular chuch. I have been thinking about it for a few months and then last week I bumped into one of the church wardens in the library and she was so friendly and welcoming and it felt like fate. However I don't want to mislead anyone.

OP posts:
fryalot · 01/03/2009 12:58

ConC: they are always happy to see new faces, to get more parishioners and to have new worshippers.

You don't have to sign a declaration detailing exactly what you believe, they don't really care about your personal beliefs as long as you are willing to attend church now and then.

Go, get what you can out of it. Enjoy. If you're not getting what you want or think you will from attending, don't go any more.

BetsyBoop · 01/03/2009 13:07

ConC - just go & see how you feel, it's not disrespectful

I've very recently been in the same position as you - as in I went to church for "me" (not for christenings/weddings/funerals etc) for the first time in years yesterday! I'd been thinking about it for months too.

It was totally the right thing for me (if you are interested in how it went check out the "another lost sheep" thread)

Just go, or you will always be wondering...

Original poster
ChurchOrNoChurch · 01/03/2009 17:00

I think I'll go to a service next Sunday and see how things go.

OP posts:
DutchOma · 01/03/2009 17:04

If you had a child that hadn't been home for years, would you find it disrespectful if she turned up unanounced, gave you a hug and said "Can I come back"?

scienceteacher · 01/03/2009 17:10

You don't have to be sure in your belief to go to church.

We all have to start somewhere and everyone has a different journey.

The main reason for people starting to go to church and continuing in a church is because they have made friends there. If you are unsure of your beliefs, you won't be the only one.

AMumInScotland · 01/03/2009 17:23

Not disrespectful in the slightest - if you want to go, then go. And feel free to join in or sit out parts of the service if you're not sure yet about them - when I started back to church I didn't join in saying the creed, or go up for communion, because I hadn't decided yet what I felt about them, but joined in with the prayers and hymns. Equally, don't feel you shouldn't join in if you do want to - whatever feels right for where you're at with your beliefs.

justaboutindisguise · 01/03/2009 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ChurchOrNoChurch · 01/03/2009 21:00

Thankyou to everyone who posted, I have told my DH I am going next week and he thinks I am crazy but nothing ventured nothing gained. I'll try to remember to update this thread. All the posts have been helpful and made me think.

This bit just for Justabout. I have lurked on some of your other threads and I knew you gave good advice which is why I asked for you. You deserved your name on a thread or ten.

OP posts:
Alambil · 04/03/2009 00:17

There's a saying from the church background I come from that goes like this:

"You can take as many steps away from God as you like but it only takes one to turn back to Him"

I think it means that no matter how far away you go - how long for, how you behave whilst you're gone, as long as you turn back in truth and wholly repentative, you'll find God is actually right behind you because isn't it He that says He'll never leave us or forsake us?

Just my tuppence worth - not sure it's worth much

BetsyBoop · 04/03/2009 14:57

That is a lovely saying Lewisfan

That's great ConC - I found the actually deciding to go bit the hardest bit - let us know how you get on

spursmummy · 07/03/2009 21:42

I hope you made it to church and that it's gone well for you. You and Justabout have described between you exactly where I'm at; I was very religious as a child, then "dropped" it when real life (uni, boys, moving to opposite end of the country) took off, but now I have a DD of my own and especially since a long-standing close friend died suddenly last year just after our birthday (we were exactly the same age) I've been thinking more and more about going back to church. It probably sounds like a poor excuse but I really struggle for time at the weekends - me and DH both work full-time and commute for two hours each day, we only moved down to the south-east last summer and still need to sort our house out, and DD is a lovely two year old but so much a mummy's girl that she screams the place down if I so much as leave her in one room with her Daddy while I make a cup of tea in the other! - but I am determined to make it to church one Sunday once we're more settled.

I've only discovered mumsnet recently and it's been really good finding threads like this, I'm so glad there are other people going through this thought process as well as me.

Original poster
ChurchOrNoChurch · 23/04/2011 23:51

Yes, I have bumped a two year old thread, not as a troll just updating.

I have been regularly going to the my local church, on and off for the last couple of years. My attendance level is very varied depending on family commitments and children's health.

I have found the church very welcoming even with our young children, my DH still thinks I am crazy from wanting to go and I am no nearer understanding why I want to go. Maybe I will never figure that bit out, who knows.

A very belated thank you to DutchOma, I found your words very comforting
"If you had a child that hadn't been home for years, would you find it disrespectful if she turned up unanounced, gave you a hug and said 'Can I come back'?"

OP posts:
BetsyBoop · 24/04/2011 09:49

It's lovely to get an update ConC :)

I remembered this thread as I was in a similar position at the time. I too am a regular attender at the my local church now, so much so I run one of the Sunday School groups & look after the church website Grin.

I still have times when I wonder why I'm there (I think hope that's normal?) but I know I'm always glad I've been & feel better for going :)

Happy Easter :)

MadHairyMilkEggonEasterDay · 24/04/2011 13:12

Hello ConC :) Good to hear an update. Glad church has been so welcoming. I always think church is not for the sorted and the sure, but for everyone in whatever stage of faith or none, we are all on a journey. Hope you continue to find more about what you believe and feel at home there. All the best :)

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