How do you forgive yourself?

[Pinkfluffyslippers]

Does anyone have a prayer / mantra / a meditation to forgive oneself. I want to live in the present but the past keeps haunting me.

I'm now 45 and feel that I've wasted so much of my life. Whereas most people would have had a career, got married,saved money, bought house had kids - I ponced around doing various things, spent money and saved none, had DD, recently got married to a wonderful DH and am now buying house but forgot to get career along the way so now I have nice but uninspiring job.

I love my new life but my negative headtape keeps undermining me.

Is it time to buy the book meditation through depression? Or can anyone recommend some spiritual / Bible / religious readings. (I'm open to any religious book.)

Thanks

I think that the life lived is the life that was meant to be, you have had experiences that have made you who you are, I bet you wouldn't change yourself. Look forward, learn from the past, build a future. Jeremiah 29:11. Plus I am a big believer in training the mind to use its energy in a positive way, use your thoughts and "dwelling" to create a positive twist. ie. "I would never do that again"," I learned this from that experience" " know that means I will Do this" " I can change that in this way"

HI ATWs - thanks v much. Really positive comments. Thanks for taking the trouble. I'll read the Jeremiah chapter you recommend.

Sun is shining so off to the playground with my DD and to count my blessings.

Pinkfluffyslippers, most women I know with a career are no happier than you are at the moment.

What would you have liked to do for a job? Many of my friends and acquaintances have waited for their dcs to be of an age where they can study for something part time, for example, and changed career.
Being a mum is a much underrated job. It deserves huge respect, and so often people forget to give that respect to us. Finding joy in the very small things, finding peace in 'being you', rather than thinking "I can only be happy if I have a successful high powered job" might be the answer.

For me, I remember that God loves me even though I don't deserve it. And if He does, then I must be worth loving and knowing. It keeps me going on the darker days.

As above really PFS - your path brought you to the place where you now have a DD and your DH.
We live in a World where these things are considered less important than "careers", which is clearly nonsense.
GDIT

Thank you so much everyone.
GDIT - I think there's a lot in this world that is "clearly nonsense". (I love that phrase!
PFS

I can recommend Adrian Plass:

When you walk (Amazon have got a secondhand copy of this for 1p!). It is funny and supportive and relies on the author's own experiences of being imperfect to illustrate his point.

and The Unlocking - also available for 1p!!!

Absolute bargains! I regularly have self-esteem and bouts of depression, and I find these books really helpful and speak to me.

Depending on if you're religious, I like the ACTS prayer 'model'.

Application-somewhere calm you can concentrate

Confession - clears your mind after you've worked through your regrets

Thanksgiving - makes you appreciate even the tiniest of things

Supplication - prayer requests

I find it helps me focus but also have perspective on my life. My thanksgiving is always much longer than my supplication!

Thanks for ref MaryBS - looks like someone already snapped up the 1p one from Amazon, but managed to snaffle a cheap Diary from ebay!

The Unlocking is still available for 1p - see the second link... well worth getting!

I have the diary too, and it IS very funny, but the 2 books I mentioned use bible texts and reflections which really help.

'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. More spiritual than religious, but a fantastic book which helped me.